BC - Mon, 9/12/11

Has anyone stopped to consider that Mookie is the biological father of Lucy and that he might come back and try to assert his rights as such? I don't think there are any police reports to back up Maya's claims that he physically abuse her. If nothing else, he should be paying child support. If he dies, the child would be entitled to SS Survivor benefits, so his paternity should be established, one way or another.

So David was the one being scammed. Ryan wasn't REALLY shot. They're going to keep teasing us, using our hopes and dreams of Ryan's death, something we've yearned for year after year, and then dash those hopes yet again.

Robin "oh why do they torture us so by keeping our fondest wishes just out of reach, right up until the end?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 6/20/11

TIDBIT:
In a hospital scene on Hot In Cleveland, they paged Dr. Bender, whom we often hear being paged at PVH Susan Lucci has played herself on the show several times, and she got another shoutout on the 6/22 show.

Does Greenlee have too much Fusion Gloppity-Goo in her hair or does she need a shampoo real bad?  PLEASE tell me that's not the new fashion!

Why would anyone care if a celebrity recommended that a notorious doctor who has committed numerous crimes and lost his license more than once be reinstated? As for the hospital, how can the liability the hospital takes on POSSIBLY be worth less than a celebrity's opinion? Even more than that, how can an INSURANCE COMPANY, whose only stake it in it is profit, allow it? For that matter, can just ANYBODY buy a hospital simply because they have the money? Wouldn't that have to have some sort of official approval? Erica is a convicted felon (more than once). Would she be ALLOWED to own a hospital? She's an addict and a baby-stealing, embezzling, constantly-on-trial celebrity.

At some point, there will be two Erica's in a room and her loved ones will have to decide which is which. So what can Erica ask them to ask her that only SHE would know? Maybe Jack will have to reveal that VERY special thing he likes her to do in the bedroom (you know, diaper him, burp him and sing him a lullaby), or possibly that doggie collar thing, given that he's such a lapdog.

I loved it that when David walked in and started to taunt Jake, Jake said:  "Hello, ASS!"  All things considered that must be soapspeak for "Hello, F**KFACE!"

Annnnnd here it comes ... Amanda and Jake start making out in the hotel room and then they have sex. Did anyone NOT see that coming from a light-year away? It's not quite grief sex, but certainly consolation sex (as JAR so eloquently described it). I hope they gave each other STDs.

Is Amanda still not using birth control? I didn't think so. Does she not have the slightest memory of what happened the LAST time she got pregnant? I didn't think so. And the last time she was pregnant JAR was one of the baby daddy candidates! And how do they plan to resolve this, given that the show is ending in September? Are they going to FF 20 years so we know how things turned out for everyone, or will they just leave it dangling?

Robin "Erica would NEVER use notecards to remember her speech" Coutellier

BC - Thu-Fri, 1/20-21/11

JAR told eBabe that he had the security "beefed up again" so that she and AJ would be safe. At what point did he debeef it, and WHY?

eBabe tells David that she's going to go file that paperwork with the court. What paperwork? That she's his lawyer now? That he's awake and can now be sent back to prison? That Liza no longer needs to be his advocate? That he's an asshole.

That's an interesting choice of sweater for Madison to wear, considering she's trying to hide her pregnancy. Let's see, I think I'll put on a top that's two sizes too small and designed to hug the belly.

Here's an idea. How about Ryan and Greenlee take their "a surprise a day" vows to the extreme and Ryan surprises Greenlee with a trip to the moon or space station or whatever. Evil Dr. David stows aboard to sabotage the flight and the sabotage and extra weight (because he doesn't get off the ship in time) causes the ship to go off course. IOW, they become LOST IN SPACE! Stay tuned to the episode where Greenlee, who notoriously can't cook, tries to make a carrot cake on a planet inhabited by walking and talking fruits and vegetables. Hilarity ensues! Dr. David continues to wreak havoc, and never learns his lesson as he is alternately aided and thwarted by a talking robot dog with whom he trades snide, yet witty insults. They can have their own spinoff (so to speak) wherein Ryan, Greenlee, Dr. David and the robot dog travel to new worlds and new civilizations, and their self-centered and self-entitled views leave carnage and heartbreak in their wake from one world to another as they continue to escape unscathed. Greenlee leaves tiny stiletto hoof--er--footprints on the soils of planets into infinity. Females of every race and planet inexplicably throw themselves at Ryan and demand that he remove his shirt. As long as none of this happens on All My Children, I'm all for it.

Robin "what would be Dr. David's favorite nickname for the robot dog?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 1/7/11

If the doctor is worried about Kendall's blood pressure, why did Ryan and Greenlee bring Kendall sodium-laden Chinese food?

Why was Scott in the visitation room? He just wanders up to Madison and starts talking to her after her father refuses to see her. And why would Madison get as far as being IN the visitation room if the inmate won't see her -- doesn't that have to be cleared ahead of time? And why aren't there any other prisoners at Statesville in the same room with Scott? And why are all my sentences starting with the word "And"? It's not unusual for me, but I don't usually string them all in the same paragraph.

Oh, Liza, NO! Yeah, she's feeling very isolated and probably horny as hell, but her daughter's heartbroken boyfriend? It's not quite the same as when Marian was seducing Tad (who was Liza's first love and lover), toying with him, and paying him with money and gifts, but the ick factor is still WAY up there.

Why hasn't anyone beaten the crap out of Madison's father on a daily basis if he's talking to all the other inmates like they are worthless and beneath him? That is one pristine, well-ordered, well-behaved, gangless prison.

Wait a minute -- why would Zach's lawyer talk to RYAN about Zach's will and give Kendall's legal papers to him? WTF? The lawyer knows where Kendall is. I really hate the complete disregard for legal privacy and the way the men on the show treat women like children.

When Madison said she might find some guy to pretend he's the baby's father (semi-joking to get Greenlee off her back), how many of you immediately wondered if Tom Cudahey was available? My next thought, just looking at Greenlee's face as she pondered that, was that Scott will, of course, do exactly that, possibly because Greenlee will bribe him with a job or money when he gets out. And looky here, by the end of the episode, where is Greenlee? At the prison offering Scott a job and a beautiful blond.

Robin "you'd think they would at least stretch it out past the same episode" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 11/29/10

Liza is the DA. Why does SHE have to work on papers to transfer David to lockup? Isn't that the PVPD's job? At first I thought she might still be his attorney, which makes me want to vomit, but then Jack managed to get in to see David by pretending to be his lawyer mere moments after Liza walked out of the room, with the same guard standing right there. Then again, members of the PVPD aren't known for their massive brainpower or quick-wittedness.

When the Thanksgiving play started, all I could think of was Wednesday Addams in the Addams Family Values movie where she played a Native American princess who then proceeded to mastermind a massacre of the pilgrims as payback for what was done to the Native Americans.

I can't believe Tad just said to Krystal: "All right, now you make sure you get Jenny and our little SQUAW back to the restaurant" I can't believe they put that in the script! That's like using the N-word! There's some controversy about the origins of the word or it's actual meaning, but it's widely considered to be a derogatory and racist slur nowadays.

Jack tells Greenlee and Ryan that David is on a bus on his way to prison now. For WHAT? They just glossed right over that part! No trial, no nothing -- just off you go. I was wondering why they were making a big deal about him being transferred to "lockup" and how lockup might be different than being in a cell downstairs.

And there's David, lurking outside the penthouse. He must have escaped. Gee, what a surprise.

Did it ever occur to Tad to simply ask to BUY a turkey from the Yacht Club or have THEM prepare a meal for them? Are we supposed to root for him and Jake STEALING one from them?

Okay, I have to admit that I did NOT expect to see Erica holding the gun that shot David. Notice I didn't say she SHOT him, but she is holding the gun (I'm guessing that Kendall or someone else shot him; if it was Kendall, she doesn't remember it). I DID expect something bad to happen to David, but not quite so soon. As I said, he's now known to me as "Twice Cooked Pork".

Robin "I was kind of hoping the stray bullet would shoot the glass out of Tad's hand" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 11/22/10

Is Spike's school having a Thanksgiving Day pageant? Why would they do that ON Thanksgiving when most people have other things to do that don't involve bringing their little ones to school?

EXCUSE ME??? After the verdict, Jack states for the record that he wants the jury polled. After a snotty outburst between Jack and Liza, the Judge gets in a snit and says SHE is satisfied with the jury's verdict and they are free to go. WTF? She can't do that! The verdict could be overturned on a technicality, I think, if the Defense asks for the jury to be polled and the judge DENIES it. Also, the jury didn't even fill out any forms about the verdict. The forms not only have to be filled out, but the judge has to give them the once-over before the verdict is read to make sure all the T's are crossed and I's are dotted and the forms are signed. I call BOGUS!

Okay, I'll have to chime in and say I didn't see THAT coming, either. Oh, I had strong suspicions that David might not really be dead, but I figured it would be a long while before we found out -- unless this is someone's imagination, in which case he's still "dead". If he IS alive, then, all things considered, someone's probably going to turn around and off him again.

Robin "then he would be known as Twice Cooked Pork" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 11/2/10

It's so amazing that people in Pine Valley think NOTHING of chaining people up.

I liked Amanda's Groucho mask. I've always been a sucker for those, though. I have a picture somewhere of a bunch of us at work (circa 1983-84) wearing them one day. Jake with the tiara -- eh.

How is anyone going to prove kidnapping of AJ when no one has called the police? Nope, everyone is just running all over the place on the QT and talking about how bad this will be for JAR as far as custody goes.

Ah, that's Erica's COAT that had been draped over the chair (thank you Aisling)! No wonder it looked so narrow -- I was looking at the sleeves.

Well it's about damn TIME someone called the police in on the kidnapping! It was foiled since JAR bought a judge off to overturn the custody. Ah, but was it timestamped before or after AJ went missing? I guess by the time they brought the police in, it was AFTER. It was probably a date-only stamp, in any case.

Robin "do I have to do ALL their legal legwork for them?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 7/23/10

I admire the ability of the actors to stroll through the park and not frantically try to shoo away the multitude of bugs that seem to be flying around. I hope none of them inhaled any.

Don't board members on both sides (Cortlandt and Chandler) have some say in a purchase/takeover? Aren't there regulations and forms to be filled out and official approvals to be made? Does JAR's flunky have a receipt written on a napkin?

Line Of The Day (LOD):
Bianca tells Caleb that her mother and Jack are on the "windy Riviera". CaLeb: "Poor Uncle Jack's hair."


Bianca says she can't wait until the kids see Wildwind (she's planning to rent it from Caleb). Caleb tells her to just wait until he clears out and Bianca gets snippy about him not liking kids. Hello? WTH would she move in before HE moves out?

Jake was a little handsy with the nurse when he told her to take Ryan to Radiology. He ended up saying "Let's GO" and familiarly put his hand on her back in a combination of encouragement and urging her to skedaddle like a good little girl. It was very unprofessional and I did NOT like it.

Angie should have stepped down way BEFORE this. She tells Jake it's time to do it now and he tries to convince her not to do that. WTF? She keeps going BLIND and won't let anyone else know about it. She should NOT be treating patients and she should NOT even BE at the hospital if she can't own up to that and caves when she's pressured to treat patients.

Bianca tells Miranda (over the phone) that she and her little sister are going to have SO much fun there! Checking out the stables (where people keep having sex and frightening the horses and where a paralyzed Edmund burned to death), wandering through the garden, playing hide and go seek til they drop ... I continued the verbal tour for her: Seeing where the turret burned down after/as Gillian was shot in the head, rendering her braindead, the mausoleum where Marian was held captive in a crypt and multitudes of people hid out and/or were imprisoned, the well where JaNut-From-Another-Planet tossed her sister so that she could impersonate her and marry Trevor Dillon, resulting in the conception of Amanda, the mine shaft where Laurel and Jack dumped Denny's dead, rug-encased body, the Hunting Lodge where Erica stabbed Dimitri with a letter opener and where, further back in time, Alf Gresham regularly beat the shit out of the little boy, Edmund. Oh, and there's the chapel where SOOO many temporary marriages and interrupted funerals took place. On the plus side, Wildwind was where Timmy first encountered Harold, the Wonder Dog.

Robin "Ahhh, GOOD TIMES!" Coutellier

BC - Mon-Tue, 7/19-20/10

Why would home services show up to inspect a home at NIGHT for a routine adoption check? And it IS night, in July and it's been dark for a while now, which means it's probably after 9pm (and Trevor should be in bed, not playing with the toddler 4 floors down). Do they really do surprise visits at NIGHT? If Damon really WERE 9 years old, he'd probably be in bed and the social worker would be disrupting their routine.

As I mentioned previously, Trevor has been reverse SORAS'd. Although he should be about 13 months old, there's no way the baby portraying him is walking yet although Amanda made it sound like he was.

Okay, Damon is all scattered, almost stood her up and he's not dressed for a party, but Colby has been bitchy and emotionally demanding to him for a while now. This couple is DOOMED.

If the social worker JUST left the house after her surprise night inspection, how did the adoption papers magically arrive? Wouldn't she have to do some paperwork and have the papers filed with the court, etc.? Apparently not in Pine Valley! She must have filled them out and put the Commonwealth Of Pennsylvania Seal on it in her car at the curb, called an all-night messenger service, had them come to the car in front Tad's house and then deliver the papers to him (even though they probably weren't even COPIED unless she also has a copier in her car plugged into the cigarette lighter). Lame, lame, lame.

How often does Damon have to take those pills? Didn't Liza take his pills away earlier the same evening? Does Damon have to take them every couple of hours or he goes off the rails? Liza is still wearing the same clothes and even the same bracelet (and you know soap divas never wear the same outfit twice), but Colby is talking like Damon's been behaving erratically over the course of at least several days if not longer. I HATE it when they timewarp everything! It gives me a headache.

Damon KNOWS he's supposed to be taking his pills, so if it's been more than just a couple of hours that they've been missing, he knows enough to try to get them replaced, even if he IS being scattered right now.

Jamie Luner is fabulous shape, but the wardrobe dept should really consider putting her back into more Liza-like clothes (i.e., not sprayed on). All those tight skirts in profile aren't as flattering is they might be on someone a little younger.

Is Liza carrying Damon's pills around in her purse? If so, not only would it be easy for Tad to find them inadvertently, but they'd be rattling around every time she moved her purse.

JAR tells Colby that eBabe, AJ and Colby are his FAMILY and they will ALWAYS come FIRST with him. BULLSHIT! The only thing that comes first with him is his dick. I can't believe he said that right after Colby catches him making out with Annie. Way to put your family first, ASSHOLE!

Robin "JAR and Annie make me sick" Coutellier

BC - Thu-Fri, 6/3-4/10

Ya gotta love the teensy-weensy park in PV. There's NO other place on the grass to put down a blanket for a picnic except one foot off of the walkway and one foot from the end of the grass on the right, which Annie deems to be a PERFECT spot. There are acres of land on the Chandler estate -- you'd think they could find a nicer, more private spot there. The average backyard has way more grass.

I think it's DISGUSTING that Erica's leg is infected to the point where she passes out from the fever, yet Caleb STILL doesn't do anything about getting her to civilization where she can at least get proper medical attention. Asshole.

LOVE that Caleb referred to Jack as Erica's lapdog, since that's how Jack has been referred to here on RATSA for YEARS.

If Madison has no place to stay, where is she keeping her clothes?

WTF is JAR doing? If he wants to get control of Chandler again, why sabotage it by airing dirty laundry in the press?

I'm reasonably sure that even a hacker would not be able to create a paper trail that successfully implicates Erica in embezzling. What about banks? They have their OWN off-site backup systems. A computer forensics expert would easily be able to disprove the case.

Also, why is David crying at the thought that his actions might have resulted in Erica's death? Neither he nor Greenlee gave a flying f**k that his actions would result in Erica going to prison, that safest of safe places.

Manhandling Alert: Greenlee flounces out of the room at Fusion to get away from Ryan questioning her and he grabs her arm to stop her. I'm glad he didn't YANK her around like they used to do, but it's STILL manhandling and I do NOT like it.

Oh yeah, RIGHT:

• Everyone at the yacht club, including the waiters, have read the financial blog about Annie that was posted a couple of minutes before

• Annie's homicidal and devious past (and possibly present and future) is BIG news to everyone in Pine Valley. They are shocked -- SHOCKED, I TELL YA!

Robin "if my eyes roll any harder, they'll have to be reattached" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 3/29/10

Uh, why did Ryan feel the need to jump into Liza's apt after Greenlee and inform Greenlee and David that the police were on their way to arrest David? If he had just stayed hidden and kept his yap shut, David and Greenlee might have been none the wiser. David was apprehended, anyway, but that was still a bonehead move on Ryan's part. How can Ryan POSSIBLY be such a phenomenal businessman when he doesn't even have enough self-control to do something as simple, logical and commonsensical as waiting a few minutes (or even SECONDS) before opening his big mouth and spilling the beans?

Randy feels perfectly comfortable hiring Damon, even after hearing he's a screw-up at the hospital and seeing how immature he is. She says that if Tad is willing to vouch for him, that's good enough for her. Now, she MAY be feeling like he should get a second chance, as she was given, but REALLY? Like there aren't HUNDREDS of better-qualified people who would be willing to work at Fusion, if only for the opportunity to see the great Erica Kane in person. She doesn't even know if he knows the alphabet because she hasn't asked him about any skills he may or may not have.

Brooke tells Adam that he has JAR and JAR is a WONDERFUL man [me: no he's not]. She says that's in part because Adam NEVER gave up on him [me: yes he did].

Did you catch the blatant advertising for Alice In Wonderland when Krystal made it clear that the video version they had in the house is perfectly adequate for the little girls? Damon talked about taking the girls to see the new 3-D movie, but Krystal doesn't trust him with the girls, so instead they will look for the OLD version. You know the animated one by Disney, OWNER of ABC. During a break, they showed a commercial for the Disney new "un-Anniversary" edition on DVD

It was speculated by a couple of people in R.A.T.S.A. that Damon might be illiterate. Perhaps. Or maybe he's dyslexic. He sure bolted out of Fusion when Randi started to show him about doing inventory. Was he confused by the words or the numbers? Ah, Damon answered the question before the end of the show. It's the numbers. I vote for dyslexia. So, will he get professional help, or will Randi volunteer to tutor him, resulting in he and Randi having an affair because Frankie will be spiraling out of control over the pain in his hands and the Vicadin in his mouth? Then again, they need to throw him and Colby together, so maybe Colby will be the one to tutor him. Then he can be at the mansion and Annie can slake her sexual thirsts with HIM instead of Scott. Plus he can steal more meds, etc. Maybe he'll steel someone's birth control pills and we'll see him sporting man-boobs just in time for summer.

Robin "it could happen" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 5/5/09

Wow, I'm STUNNED! That's TWO people at the hospital who refuse to give out information about patients to people who have no legal business knowing. Does that mean there is a glimmer of hope for HIPAA in PV? ... Nah.

Did you notice that Dr. Bender was paged to the MENTAL WARD? Does anyone call it that anymore? Yeah, WE can call it a loony bin or mental ward, but wouldn't hospitals have long ago started referring to them as Psychiatric Wards or just by code numbers, as far as paging goes?

I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with JAR AND David. At least as far as the heart valve goes. They haven't done ANY human trials and they're willing to stick it into a TODDLER? They should go with one of the other options and then, once the valve has been proven to be effective, THEN they can put it in him at a later date. Yes, they'll have to cut him open yet AGAIN, but that's less risky than putting an unproven, unTESTED PROTOTYPE into his little chest!

Something doesn't ring true to me about Frankie's situation. He's seriously injured and is being flown to Germany. Jesse and Angie would be on the FIRST plane to Germany to be there ASAP, not sitting by the phone wringing their hands. So would Randi, but I doubt she has a passport (but I'm sure Jesse would somehow be able to push that through VERY quickly).

Robin "let the sweeps BEGIN!" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 4/30/09

Kendall wakes up in Ryan's bed and asks what time it is. He says it's almost noon. So she stayed the night. Where's Emma? I can pretty much guarantee you that a child will be awake and demanding attention WAAAAAY before noon unless there's something seriously wrong with it. And Kendall's OWN children? Eh. Not even blips on her bony radar. Then reality hits -- almost NOON! OMG -- she has to get to WORK! Again, children don't even occur to her/them.

JAR accusingly tells Scott that he wanted to go public with the heart valve two weeks ago, and Scott just want's to grab the glory all for himself. That's funny -- JAR forced the doctor to sell out because the doctor refused to rush it into production by the end of the WEEK -- and that was on 4/23/09, only ONE week ago.

Scott says the valve is ready for a clinical trial. Don't they need to have some time-consuming government paperwork processed LONG before a trial can actually go forth? I would think the change in ownership alone would delay the process.

Robin "f**king paperwork" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 4/24/09

Wow, that Marissa moves FAST! She's going back to law school at PVU. Uh, I'm assuming that she's HOPING to do that, because you don't just walk the hell into the Admissions office and they say: Okey-dokey -- you're IN! I don't care HOW smart you are or HOW good your grades are. Bureaucratic processes take TIME.

Erica's hair looks GREAT in that upswept do! I HATE it when she has it severely pulled back (it makes her look like a seal), but this is soft and pretty! The dress looks great on her, too! (see, I can say something NICE occasionally)

I don't care HOW good of friends you were with someone you haven't seen since childhood -- if you see that person again and they are putting the moves on your WIFE, reminiscing and completely forgetting said moves are not the first thing you're going to do. But Frankie did just that with Scott. Is this one of those things that AMC is going to deny that we are seeing with our own eyes, like the fact that there was something going on between Reese and Zach? Scott was practically drooling on Randi and she LET him without a second thought!

Kendall informs Erica that she made the right decision in choosing Ryan over Zach and that she's never been happier in her life. Oh really? It was kind of lukewarm delivery but, more than that, why would you be happier than you ever were in your life when it was at the expense of the life of your best friend who, BTW, was barely down to room temperature before you started f**king her husband-to-be.

When JAR told Scott he doesn't want Scott to EVER say Babe's name again, how many of you responded with "Babe-Babe-Babe-Babe-Babe-ity-Babe-Babe?" (That's what Kendall said to the obsessed Josh at one point)

So, how long will it be before David starts hitting on Marissa and Krystal has to tell him that Marissa is his daughter? Or IS she?

Ryan says he's trying to be a GOOD single dad. He certainly isn't trying very HARD.

Robin "Kudos to those that guessed Marissa was Babe's twin!" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 3/9/09

How is it that so many people can just barge into Ryan's living room without ever even knocking, let alone having to deal with a lock? I'm not so sure they even deal with a doorknob. That place is as bad as the Chandler mansion!

Doesn't a person have to be missing for 7 years in order to declare them dead without a body? How can Greenlee's will already go into effect when they don't even know for sure that she's dead? Even if they HAD found her body, they couldn't POSSIBLY have a death certificate yet, which you definitely need in order to process a will.

How many times does this make whereby Ryan has inherited big bucks from someone in his short life? Most people are lucky if they inherit the silverware!

Zach feels sorry (not to mention responsible for) Reese, so he helps her to leave the hospital. Kendall, in the meantime, rushes to find Zach, having been shown the light by Erica, who told her that Zach can't rebuild the marriage all by himself. Naturally, Kendall runs into Zach helping Reese leave her hospital room. He just stares at Kendall, then guides Reese to wherever it is that they are going. Gee, is there ANYONE who didn't see THAT coming from a mile away? Anyone? [insert sound of crickets chirping]

Robin "how is that Erica managed to fly off to another country in the time it took for Kendall to find Zach?" Coutellier