BLAST FROM THE PAST - BC - Tue, 8/29/00

[NOTE: here's a little background information since this is from 2000. 

• Adrian is Adrian Sword (played by Matthew St. Patrick, who later played Keith on Six Feet Under). Adrian was the love child of Opal and a black minister (or something like that); as an adult he was a multi-talented secret agent. MSP was quite yummy-looking, but his acting was very stilted; he did a much better job on SFU.

• At the time, Finola Hughes was very pregnant in real life. 

• Tina was a so-so character who was involved with Adrian.

• Dixie worked for David at the hospital as his assistant.

• Jake was in one of his run-away-from-home-and-into-danger phases and had a planeload of orphans to be evacuated. I think he was in wartorn Chechnya.]

Whoa, NICE special effects (NOT)!  Ryan and Adrian are in a plane that is jolting right and left and they aren't even moving with it.  That's because the CAMERA is what's jerking right and left.  That cameraperson should cut back on the cappucinos.  Adrian hands Ryan a gun and asks if he knows how to use one of them.  Ryan shoves in a clip and says he'll figure it out.  Do I even have to SAY how ludicrous this situation is? 

Considering that they are trying to make such a dramatic impact of Alex first seeing Dimitri at the Hunting Lodge, you would think they would have found a slightly different angle from which to shoot her.  Instead, the camera is to her right and slightly back, CLEARLY showing he belly preceding the rest of her by about 10".  The lampshade was supposed to disguise it, but the camera didn't move back NEARLY far enough, so the lampshade merely illuminates it and calls attention to it. A HUGE blunder that should have been either cut or reshot, IMNSHO.  The rest of their scenes together were fabulous, though, and the scene on the couch was very well-shot. 

I want to know where Greenlee buys that tear-proof makeup!  Wait a minute -- it's probably got so many chemicals in it that she's now sterile, so maybe I'll pass on that.

Before jettisoning all that extra cargo in the cabin, you'd think Ryan and Adrian would have at least LOOKED in them to see what they were getting rid of!  Was I the only one who thought the first crate they sent out the door had Gillian in it (ok, we KNEW she wasn't actually IN it at that point)?  Ah, well, there was that brief little thrill, wasn't there?  While the whole thing was highly unbelievable, Ryan not getting sucked out the door when he tried to pull Gillian's crate and she jumped out was downright laughable.  Not quite as laughable as the coloring-book clouds visible outside the door and window (despite occasional puffs of dry ice vapors), but pretty funny anyway :-)

Tina should really avoid that pigtail look. It's for little girls or teenyboppers. 

Considering the plane is at about 10,000 feet, the door is open, they are in a mostly steel cabin, and Gillian is wearing a sheer blouse, you'd think her nipples would be harder than they would be if, say, she were sitting in a Waco, TX, Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise that didn't even have an overhead fan, much less an air conditioner. 

David grabs Dixie and kisses her -- HARD.  Afterward, she stares at him as he tells her he HAD to do that just to shut her up.  Uh huh.  She continues to stare at him in silent horror and disbelief.  He begs her to say something.  While Dixie didn't say anything, *I* said "LAWSUIT".  Something tells me the I-had-to-do-it-to-shut-her-up wouldn't fly in court.  What am I SAYING?  It would absolutely hold up in a PV court!

When Greenlee was smashing things with the axe, did anyone else think the printer/fax looked more like a plastic vaporizer? 

If the plane barely has enough fuel to get them where they are going, never mind turning back to PV, how did Adrian and Ryan plan on RETURNING with Jake and a bunch of orphans in tow? 

LOD:
Ryan to Gillian re sharing a bedroll to keep warm:  "How about you riding shotgun?"  Gillian:  "I'm not touching a gun unless I have to!"  BWAHAHAHAAA!

Dixie, fresh from the kiss from David, runs into SOS and kisses Tad like she wants to do him right there, standing up at the bar.  She tells him she's missed him SOOO MUCH!  Tad:  "Is that Zepherin Chloride and Betadine I smell?" 

May I say that that is a very unflattering ensemble Dixie has on?  She makes almost anything look good, but that outfit is tight in all the wrong places, making her look frumpy. 

Nice to see someone (Leo) actually playing darts at the loft.  Now if only Scott would walk in.  I thought Leo would point out that Scott lived there too, but then realized that Leo has no reason to take Scott's feelings into consideration. 

Unless this was a daydream sequence (entirely possible [keeping in mind that I haven't seen Wed's show yet] given that sudden jump from standing to them lying on the couch), Alex has now had sex (presumably) within a very short period of time with 2 brothers.  You KNOW what soap opera law has to say about THIS situation.   Sigh -- ANOTHER whose-baby-is-it storyline?  At least she's dressed for the part nowadays.

Robin "Gillian:  Coffee, Tea or ME?" Coutellier

Blast From The Past - Detailed Friday Update, 11/03/00, Part 3 of 3

THE WAVE SET

Hayley and Mateo rush onto the set as Hayley anxiously asks if there is any sign of Arlene. Mateo tells her to relax and forget about Arlene, but Hayley is a nervous wreck. She says Arlene is going to keep coming back until Hayley forgives or pretends to forgive her. They are going live in 60 seconds. Hayley rushes onto stage for last minute powder puffs and Mateo leaves for the photo shoot at SOS. Still nervous, Hayley still manages to jump into her on-screen persona and chats about how fast the year has gone, blah, blah, blah. Arlene drunkenly stumbles in off to the side. Hayley talks about fashion and white leather as Arlene drinks from a flask like a person stumbling in from the desert. Arlene proudly watches her daughter and quietly talks toward her: "There she is -- my Hayley. She's got everything she wants. She's rich, famous. A man who loves her. All your dreams came true, didn't they, Sweetie? And now ... it's Mama's turn!" She steps toward the stage.

Hayley natters away about a web poll, saying the watchers think that Thanksgiving is the number 1 family holiday. Arlene jumps on to the stage and breaks with in: "And what better way than to celebrate with your own famliy? HI! I'm Hayley's mom! I'm today's surprise guest star -- Surprise!!" Hayley IS surprised: "Well, HI, Mom!" She guides Arlene to a seat on stage and says she gets to help her welcome a famed chef (Marcel) from a Pine Valley restaurant who is there to teach them how to make cornbread stuffing [what does cornbread stuffing have to do with fashion?]. Arlene won't be silenced, of course, and she pops up saying who gives a damn about Chef Marcel? She starts to talk about previous Thanksgivings when her husband, Harry Vaughan, used to stuff himself and sit in front of the tube-- The stage crew frantically look through their notes, seeing nothing about Arlene in them. Arlene is loudly talking about Harry undoing his pants and watching football games while Hayley gamely tries to pretend Arlene is not there. Arlene and Hayley loudly talk over each other. Hayley keeps going on about the chef, who has apparently switched jobs in the space of 5 seconds, because she now says he works at Maxim's in Paris. Arlene doesn't want them to cut to a commercial or Chef Marcel. She desperately starts talking about how sorry she is for Hayley's rotten childhood and how she made it all better by marrying Adam, didn't she? Half the children in America want Mom and Dad under the same roof, etc. And she made that dream come true, didn't she? DIDN'T SHE?

While the crew continues to stand there looking perplexed and unsure, Mateo wanders back in, sees what's happening and rushes on-stage to hustle Arlene off-stage. Hayley is near the breaking point as she repeats her welcome to Chef Marcel while Mateo strongarms Arlene to a curtained-off area that has a lot of food, coffee, etc. She fights him and starts to rush back to the stage when Mateo swings her around and dumps a pitcher of ice-water over her head. She shrieks.

Arlene is pissed off and feeling pissed on as she attempts to dry herself with some napkins. Mateo tells her she's lucky that's ALL he did and that she's staying put until the cops come. [I'm still trying to figure out what he thinks they will charge her with. They might find something as far as her interrupting Hayley's show, but what else?] Arlene grins as she thinks she's hit upon a key motivational factor in Mateo's attitude -- she says he hates her because he always has to be in control and he can't control Hayley whenever Arlene is around. Her voice is low and sure of herself as she says: "Well, you know what? She's going to stand by me because she knows -- she knows I love her. Deep down inside, she knows that. But YOU -- you don't KNOW that she'll always love YOU." Mateo: "Please. You think this is some type of competition thing between me and you? You're sick!" Arlene: "Oh, no, Sweetie, there's no competition. A mom's love always wins out in the end. Just watch. Just watch. You go call those cops. You lock me up, you throw away the key. Hayley will stick by me. She always has. No matter how I screw up, no matter how low I sink -- no matter how low I sink, she picks me up, and she puts me to bed like she always has." Mateo asks what, WHAT he could POSSIBLY do to get rid of her -- to make her leave and never come back -- just NAME it! She gives an evil smile, grabs his face and plants a big wet one on him!

He breaks suction and wipes his mouth, telling her she's DISGUSTING! He keeps wiping his mouth with a napkin. She just grins and innocently asks if he didn't like it. Arlene: "Well, you know, Hayley and I are so much alike, I mean, you'd think that if you like the copy you'd LOVE the original." Mateo turns on her and yells that they are NOTHING alike! That's why Arlene is always trying to drag her down -- Hayley has done EVERYTHING with her life and Arlene has done NOTHING! Mateo: "You're the same old loser you've always been! You'll never have what she has!" Arlene gets angry again: "Look, for the record, I am TWICE the woman that Hayley is. And if you're just too much of a wimp to admit it, why don't you ask her last hubby, Alec what's-his-name?" From the doorway, Hayley says: "Ask him what?" [Kelly Ripa's pregnancy has apparently manifested itself by a visit from the breast-fairy, because her breasts are getting bigger by the day.] Arlene looks away with a little self-satisfied, closed-mouth smile.

Arlene tells Hayley that she was just telling Mateo that she and Hayley are so much alike that they even have the same taste [quite literally] in men. Hayley doesn't even care what Arlene is talking about. What she did tonight was UNFORGIVABLE! Arlene is surprised and asks how Hayley could possibly have found out already! Then she realizes that Hayley is not talking about her kissing Mateo and tells him: "Don't worry, Sweetie, she doesn't suspect a thing!" Hayley's voice gets low and gritty as she asks Mateo what Arlene is talking about. Arlene looks like the cat that ate the canary as she urges Mateo to spill. Hayley is now facing him with her back to Arlene. Still tight-lipped, he admits that Arlene kissed him. Arlene brags: "Full on the mouth! I don't know what came over me, Sweetie. I was just -- must have been the stress or something. But I SWEAR to you that it will never happen again, no matter how great the temptation. Right, Mateo?" She grins at the trouble she's causing. Hayley suddenly whirls and wallops Arlene across the face! [THAT was a long time coming!] They glare at each other.

Mateo breaks the tension and takes hold of Hayley's arm, saying it's time to go. They start to stomp off, but Hayley turns and stomps back to Arlene to tell her: "If you EVER touch my husband again, I WILL kill you!"


On the next AMC:

Arlene to Hayley: "You're a pussycat inside. I know that about you. You'd never kill anybody." Adam suddenly appears and says: "What about me, Arlene? You think *I'm* capable of killing you?"

Leo to Bianca: "You're confused, and, you know, this just isn't the way that --" She launches herself into his arms and plants big one on him!

Dixie, standing now and facing David whispers: "That's Tad's car! He's home!" David sulks.

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "Come To Mama" Coutellier

Blast From The Past - Detailed Friday Update, 11/03/00, Part 2 of 3

SOS

Leo and Bianca enter an empty SOS.  Leo:  "We're the MODELS --we're not supposed to be the first ones here!"  Bianca is brooding and he tries to bring her back to the present.  A waitress walks out from the back and asks if they are there for the Enchantment shoot.  When he says yes, she tells him that Tina is in charge, but she appears to be running late.  [So are the camera, makeup, wardrobe and PR people.]  They sit down at the bar and Leo guesses that she did NOT tell Erica -- so what's the plan?  She says there IS no plan.  She doesn't want to think about it anymore -- whatever happens happens.  Things were different last night -- Erica REALLY opened up to her and didn't give her any attitude when Bianca said she didn't want to do the Enchantment campaign.  Leo:  "But here you are!" Bianca:  "She loves me so much, Leo.  She'd do anything for me!  I really think that she would accept whatever I told her.  She doesn't hate gay people.  I mean, she's far too smart for that.  I just -- it's just that she has this -- this idea of who I am, and I don't want to disappoint her. Not yet ... I guess the way I feel is that I LIKE having her look up to me.  I LIKE having her think that I'm the perfect daughter.  You know what she said to me?  She said that last year when she was going through her surgery, she thought of how brave I was and she wished that she were more like ME!"  He quips that Erica is eternally young and she shushes him.  He says Erica LIKES it when he teases, and so does SHE!  They get into a giggling slap/wrestle mode as Tina comes in with Laura.  The rest of the crew is still missing.  Leo is introduced and Laura asks him if he coached volleyball (harking back to his ad-lib at the dance).  She's there to observe a "real" photo shoot.  Tina goes off to check on the missing professionals while Laura flatters the hapless models.

Laura wants to take some shots of the duo while the rest of them [WHAT rest of them -- no one else is THERE] are setting up.  Leo says sure, it would be great for his portfolio.  He starts to go GQ, then squats down in a karate move   She tells them to just do what they were doing when she first came in.  Bianca, still laughing, says she doesn't think she can do that with an audience.  Leo hugs her to him and says it's more FUN with an audience.  She tells Laura he's not REALLY like this as he goes into "fun" model mode, holding her, throwing things at her and generally goofing around and mugging while she keeps laughing and Laura continues to snap pictures.  Tina comes in and says she wasn't able to reach the crew, but Leo says that's okay because they started already.  Tina puts music on (Madonna singing "Vogue") and Leo frolics around, jumping out at Bianca from behind poles, putting her in a headlock, etc.  [I keep thinking of the Brady Bunch movie where Marcia and Jan audition to be teen models]

Erica walks in with a big, beefy looking guy whom she introduces as Bruce Bullitt, the photographer.  Leo starts with some pleasantries, but Bruce totally ignores that and looks him over, holding his chin and checking out his bod (for professional reasons, of course) like he's a piece of meat. Bianca stops giggling and Bruce does the same chin-lifting with her. Bruce tells Erica that he has to hand it to her -- he wouldn't have picked THESE two in a million YEARS, but he thinks he can work with them.  Erica is momentarily taken aback as Bruce says to powder them down.  She smiles and puts her arms around Bianca, saying she KNEW he would ADORE her! Erica sees Laura and, in a not unfriendly way, asks who she is.  Laura introduces herself.  When Erica mentions she thought she was off somewhere, Laura says she was au-pairing for an American couple in China, but she's back now.  Erica thinks that's nice, but this is a closed set. Bianca explains that Laura is a photographer and she wants her to stay.  A guy [who reminds me a little of Jack from Will and Grace] takes Bianca's arm and coos that he's ready for her now.  Erica takes Leo aside and asks if Bianca has confided in him yet.  He said he thought they talked last night and she says yes, it was great and she only wants Bianca to be happy.  He says that the feeling is mutual -- Erica is the most important person in the WORLD to Bianca.  She thanks him for being such a good friend to Bianca.  She walks over to a chair where Bianca is being fussed over and joins in the fussing.  Leo watches them, looking serious, as Laura unobtrusively snaps photos of him from a distance.  He finally notices the camera and gives a quirky smile, but chides her that certain primitive tribes think that taking someone's picture equates to taking their soul.  She says she'll give it back when she's finished with it.  He mugs some more

Erica and Bianca stand up and Bruce mutters that they don't have all day. Erica hugs Bianca and tells her that this is the BEST idea she's ever had! Bianca is going to be SENSATIONAL.  Bianca says she's going to be SICK.  Erica swears that, after the first few rolls, she'll feel like she's been doing this all her life!   With a big smile of encouragement, she bops aside.  Bianca looks tremulous.

Professional picture taking ensues and Bruce tells them to stop looking like statues -- they are the hottest couple in the WORLD!  He wants to see some ENERGY!  Bianca is extremely uncomfortable and Bruce tells Erica it's no use -- they look like HOSTAGES!  Bruce pushes Leo aside and demonstrates.  He gets down on his knees and grabs Bianca's ass, pulling her to him, burying his face near her bosom and says:  "BOOM!  BUTT! HERE!  All right?  Let's go!"  Bianca looks like she'd rather be ANYWHERE else as Leo hops back onto the platform and they look with conspiratorial dread at each other.  Leo awkwardly tries to imitate Bruce's hot embrace of Bianca, but looks as if he's being forced to put the moves on his grandma.  Bianca runs her hands over her face with embarrassment.  She grimaces and looks like she's going to hurl.  Bruce continues to toss out photographer-like phrases such as "Close, close, close!  Get physical here!  Come on, come on, come on!  The rockets are going off!  SLAM, BAM!" Bianca leans over and quietly says to Leo that she CAN'T do this!  He looks up past her amble bosom and says "SURE you can -- it's fun!  Just be stupid!"  He makes another silly face and she cracks up.

Bruce blows up and says he's got Donnie and Marie here!  It's a waste of HIS time and Erica's money!  Erica strides over and sweet-talks him into continuing.  Then she runs over to Bianca and tells her not to be nervous -- it's just PLAYACTING!  She should just imagine he's another boy that she LIKES.  Think of him as the man of her DREAMS!  Bianca closes her eyes and then tosses another look of dread at Leo.  Erica enthuses that they can get this now!  Bianca goes back to the platform and stands there while Bruce once again demonstrates, this time grabbing her waist and thigh, pulling a leg up and bending her backward in a dip, nuzzling her neck. Leo tries to imitate Bruce and approaches Bianca as if there are live grenades on her that he has to defuse.  He puts his hand hesitantly on her ass, then quickly moves it to her thigh as they awkwardly go into a dip. [I'm thinking he's going to throw his back out the way he's bending] Bruce gets frustrated again and says:  "Oh, for God's sake, grab her like a MAN!"  He turns to Erica and says:  "These pretty boys are all alike! Maybe if you had a SON we'd get some fire here!"  Erica:  "Excuse me?" Bruce:  "These male models are all pink around the edges!"   Erica: "Bruce, are you implying that Leo is GAY?"  He says to forget it, but she takes offense and assures him that Leo is NOT gay and that he owes Leo an apology.  Leo and Bianca look at each other and keep quiet. 

Erica accuses Bruce of being too much of a primadonna to apologize and he protests that he just doesn't have TIME for hurt feelings.  Erica insists on an apology to Leo.  Leo walks over and quietly tells her he doesn't need one.  Erica:  "I think you do!  Excuse me.  I mean, if you were gay, all right then, fine, who cares?  But you happen to be a perfectly NORMAL person, and I won't have you insulted!"  Bianca looks crushed at Erica's use of the word "normal".  Erica points out that they are NOT professional models and just need a little guidance and understanding.  Bruce says he never SAID that her friend wasn't NORMAL, he's just trying to get some work done.  They should try again.  At this point, Bianca yells out NO -- she's not going to DO this any MORE!  She runs to the edge of the room.

Erica glares at Bruce and runs over to Bianca to soothe her.  She says it's not HER fault, it's Bruce's -- he thinks he's a genius, but SHE made him and SHE can break him!  Bianca insists it's not him -- she just doesn't know how to do this and she wants to go home!  She begs Erica not to make her do this.  Erica says she doesn't have to do it -- they'll get another photographer.  Bianca says Bruce is the best in the business. Erica still completely misses the point and insists they'll do this another time with a different photographer -- she'll make everything all right!  She clops away, leaving Bianca looking forlorn.

Laura walks over and sympathizes with Bianca, who is blaming herself. Laura thinks this is NOTHING compared to the things supermodels pull -- if she doesn't want her picture taken today, let THEM deal with it!  Leo thanks her for being there.  Laura gazes lovingly at Bianca and says she wouldn't have missed it.  She gives her goodbyes -- a long one for Bianca and a casual one to Leo [I think whoever guessed that Laura and Bianca would get together is probably right]

Bruce and Erica walk over and Bruce apologizes to Leo.  Leo snaps that he knows who he is and doesn't NEED Bruce's PERMISSION.  Erica offers Bianca a ride home, but Bianca says she's fine.  Amazingly enough, Erica says okay, kisses her cheek and leaves!  Bianca looks very, very sad.  Leo asks if she's REALLY okay and she stares meaningfully, yet uncertainly at him. He stares at her.

Bianca says she was wrong about her mother -- she thought that she would be surprised and shocked, maybe, but she was just wrong.  Leo says Erica was just angry.  Bianca says that easy for HIM to say -- HE'S not GAY -- she IS -- she's ABnormal!  He says Erica was just being dramatic -- she was PROTECTING him -- she thought he was being insulted.  Bianca:  "Of course!  Somebody called you gay!  What could be worse than THAT?"  She storms a few feet away.  He says that today was just a bust all the way around -- they should do something else like go to the movies and dinner and just talk about something else.  Bianca agrees.  After all, she's only 16 -- what does SHE know about anything?  Besides, she's only had that one experience at a time when she was dealing with a big problem and living in a dorm with other girls who were dealing with their OWN big problems.  Leo looks skeptically at her and asks if she's trying to talk herself out of being gay.  She looks frustrated.

[For the first time, I actually see through a WINDOW at SOS -- through the gold shimmery tinsel, a street and a parked car can be seen]  Bianca says that when Sarah, the girl she had been involved with, said she wasn't gay anymore and that she never was, she thought Sarah was lying to or fooling herself.  But now Bianca thinks that maybe it IS possible to stop being gay!  Leo says some people stop being gay and some people just pretend to. Bianca is really confused -- how does she know?  He points out that she's NEVER been attracted to guys.  She says she knows that's what she SAID, but ...  He asks if she is saying she wants to be with a guy.  She says it couldn't be just ANY guy.  They are friends and she can count on him, right?  He stands, looks sternly at her and asks if she's saying she wants to make love to him.

Robin "Bianca & Leo would have made a beautiful baby" Coutellier

Blast From The Past - Detailed Friday Update, 11/3/00, Part 1 of 3

I decided to post some older stuff just to keep things going. Back in 2000 (and some before that, maybe) I was posting a detailed update for each Friday's show in rec.arts.tv.soaps(.abc). I am incapable of giving a brief, concise summary and, aided by the captioning/magazine function of my TV video card in my old PC described just about every nuance for every minute of the show. My wrists have been problematic for a very long time, though, and I finally had to give it up. Since they were ridiculously long, though, that gives me some more material to work with NOW, so I'm going to break up this update into (I think) 3 parts over the course of a few days. I just picked this one at random from my archives.

AMC - UPDATE - Friday, November 3, 2000, Part 1

Previously on AMC

Arlene, surprising Hayley on Halloween night by showing up at the condo: "Hayley, please help me."  [Sirens]  Hayley: "You've got two choices -- stay and go to jail or run for your life."

Tad to Dixie upon having their romantic interlude interrupted by urgent business: "I'm going to run back here, ok?  Do me a favor and change into something ridiculously comfortable!"

Bianca's thoughts as she looks at the large portrait of Erica in the living room:  "I'm never going to tell you the truth.  I know it would kill you if you knew what I'm really like."


TAD & DIXIE'S HOUSE

David, his hand still bandaged, quietly lets himself into the living room and looks around.  He's horny and on the PROWL!  He stands there for a moment, hugging himself and trying to fight his surging hormones.  He sees Dixie's sweater on the couch and rushes over to pick it up.  He slowly fondles it, sensuously rubbing it over his face and neck, starting to breathe hard from desire.  His gaze falls on a picture of Tad and Dixie from their most recent wedding.  He drops the sweater, then runs over and grasps the photo frame.  He breathes even harder as he sees the image of a braless Dixie.  He covers Tad's image with his palm and runs his fingers lightly over Dixie's image.  He closes his eyes, aching with desire and appears to be on the edge of an orgasm!  He fights the urge, resulting some sort of heart spasm, causing him to drop the frame and clutch at his heart.

Dixie, hearing the frame hit the floor, calls out questioningly to Tad. David instantly recovers from his heart spasm as she says:  "Is that you? Did you forget something?"  He teeters hesitantly, but with the look of a hunter.  The camera pans toward their bedroom, which has mysteriously relocated itself from the 2nd floor to just off the living room.  As we hear David breathing, it appears he is stalking slowly toward the bedroom -- it's a TRICK, though, because Dixie prances out wearing an extremely low-cut, micro-mini negligee with an open matching "robe", black pantyhose and high-heels, David is nowhere to be seen.  [Psyched!]  She asks the empty living room:  "Did you break something?"  She walks across the room and calls again.  David slinks out from behind a wall.  Dixie's back is to him as he looks at her legs and ass, gulping.  Dixie spies the broken picture frame and bends to pick it up (but then leaves it there).  She keeps calling for Tad.  She looks worried, but then realizes that Tad must be playing love games:  "Oh, I get it -- you want to play Phantom of the Opera?  Ok.  She chuckles with sexy anticipation.  As she starts to remove her robe, she acts coquettish and says:  "We're aaaallll alone, and I'm in the mood for a singing lesson!"  She saucily tosses the robe over her head and behind her.  She hears footsteps as David purposefully walks up behind, taking slow, deep breaths.  Dixie, acting school-girlishly innocent:  "I'm going to sing now.  I hope no one comes up behind me to ravage me!"  She giggles and whispers:  "I feel a mysterious presence. Who is it?"  She turns around and is astounded to see DAVID standing there!  She opens her mouth and starts to step back as he looks at her. He is breathing erratically and twitching  here and there.  [situation aside, his arousal is certainly turning ME on!]

Still panting, David slowly steps up to Dixie ad tells her not to be afraid.  She backs up, then twirls and puts her robe back on (yeah, like THAT covers much of anything].  David slumps onto the couch and she screeches at him not to sit.  He apologizes and says he HAS to.  He rubs his eyes and forehead and says he worried about her -- she's making a big mistake.  She yells at him not to worry about it -- she doesn't want to talk about it, she wants him to GO!  He says he's not talking about her job, he's talking about her HEALTH -- it would be very dangerous for her to switch doctors right now.  She walks away from him and fumes that he's NOT the only cardiologist in the world.  He agrees, but says nobody in the WORLD knows her heart like HE does.  No one can take care of her the way the HE can.  He stares meaningfully at her and she looks back at him, somewhat pityingly and a little frightened.

He walks closer and she backs up.  She babbles that, if it makes him feel better, she'll have the cardiologist send him copies of all her reports. His voice breaking, he earnestly asks her why she is pushing him AWAY? She's very frightened now and says she's not going to talk about this. She opens the door and says he has to leave, NOW!  He yells at her to STOP IT and slams the door shut again.  Why does she keep pretending that this isn't happening?  She yells that he broke into her house!  He keeps yelling at her, telling him that she's KILLING him!  Can't she SEE that? David: "I can't stop the way that I'm feeling for you!  How can I?  All I have to do is close my eyes and picture the way that I see you every single day!"  [Altogether now:  NAKED?]  She protests that she WORKED for him -- she answered his PHONE!  He points and says no, she KISSED him! She says it was just a moment -- a mistake.  He's near tears as he says: "No -- it was much more than that, Dixie.  I SWEAR, I'll DIE if I can't have you!  Are you going to let me DIE, Dixie?  Is that what you really want?"  He stares at her with pleading eyes and she stares back uncomprehendingly at his delusion.

Dixie tells David he doesn't look well.  He seems to be fighting off a faint and is rubbing his neck like he has a sore throat.  Still drawing shuddering breaths, he tells her that all he needs to be well is HER.  He wants her to tell him that they can be friends again.  She goes into major blink-mode as she tells him that he's just PLAYING with her LIFE!  He comes into her home where she has a life, a family and a husband.  He says he's not trying to take anything from her.  She agrees that he's trying to GIVE her something and she doesn't WANT IT!  She insists she's happy with her life and she loves her husband and he loves her.  David thinks that has nothing to do with THEM!  She knows David by now -- does she honestly think he's the kind of person who would throw himself at a woman who didn't WANT him?  [Ally]  Does she REALLY think that he would BEG for a little affection from someone who REALLY wanted him to go away?  Dixie: "Are you kidding me?  I have never met such a HUGE, unMITigated EGO!" She's very forceful as she loudly tells him:  "Let me tell you something, David!  I don't WANT you!  You DISGUST me, as a matter of fact!   I HATE you and I want you to LEAVE!"  She threatens him with a call to the police and he tells her to go ahead -- he's not leaving!  They'll have to drag him out of there in HANDCUFFS!  She suddenly darts for the phone, which just as suddenly rings, causing her to yelp and jump.  After covering her face with her hands, she quickly answers.  She triumphantly spins and with glittering eyes and a shaky voice, tells David that it's Tad.  He glowers at her.

Naturally, Dixie doesn't say a thing about the imminent danger she is in. She explains her shortness of breath by saying she just ran up the stairs from the basement laundry room.  From her side of the conversation, it's clear that he's tied up with business and won't be home after all.  She says she understands and they say goodbye.  David (and everyone else) wants to know why she didn't tell Tad about him being there.  She says it's because Tad would KILL David.  He asks if that was the only reason and she says that Tad is coming home right now.  David states what even a toddler would have picked up on -- no he's not -- Tad called to tell her that he was going to be held up.  It's just them, so now they can have a long, PRIVATE conversation.  She tearfully whispers that she loves her husband and when he cheated on her with Liza, she felt like everything he had ever said to her was a lie.  She didn't think he could possibly love her or respect what they had if he could do something like that.  David says that now she knows it can be more complicated than that -- she could love her husband and still be looking at David the way she's doing right now.  Her voice gets higher and higher as she tells him that she really DOES care about him, and she thinks that it's possible that she's the only one he's let into his heart and that means something, it really DOES [by this time her words are unintelligible and voice is so high-pitched that dogs up and down my street are howling]

She gains a tiny bit of composure and says that all she has to do is think of the look on Tad's face to know that she would NEVER hurt him!  David turns away and rubs his forehead, apologizing and asking her to forgive him.  She cries that he doesn't want her to FORGIVE him -- he wants her to feel SORRY for him!  She breaks down again and says she doesn't know why she feels the way she does about him -- she doesn't WANT to and she HATES it -- she HATES herself!  David turns back to her and begs her not to feel that way.  She's too good and sweet and special.  She's covering her face in her hands and crying and looking downward.  She sounds like a distraught 12-year-old manning the drive-up window at a run-down burger joint, as she says [for the benefit of those who couldn't possibly have understood what she was saying without benefit of closed-captioning]:  "I don't feel GOOD!  I don't feel SWEET or SPECIAL!  I feel like I'm DROWNING!"  He somberly and thoughtfully says he thinks they're both right -- she doesn't REALLY want him to go, but he really shouldn't be there. She grimaces through her tears and shakes her head.  He says he never should have come there and he'll go; she nods.  As he walks away, he looks sick, then faints.  Dixie falls to her knees to help him.

Dixie paws futilely at David's leather jacket until he sits up, gasping for air.  She keeps asking if he's okay and what does he need?  She's bending over displaying quite a bit of her bodacious ta-tas as she says this.  Amazingly, he manages to keep his eyes OFF of said bodacious ta-tas as he despairingly says:  "You said that when you're with me, you feel like you're drowning.  I have felt that way my ENTIRE LIFE!  Like I'm sinking, just trying to survive!"  She tells him it's okay -- she's going to go call an ambulance.  He grabs hers and tells her not to leave him! Their eyes lock and he says:  "God help me!  I would DIE before I hurt you, Dixie.  You're my last hope!"  With a shaking hand and panting breath, he brushes aside her hair as saxophone music suddenly starts to play.  He pulls her face close and she moves with it.  Their lips lock slowly, then more passionately as they start to move with the groove.

[ to be continued tomorrow ... ]

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "did David take a shower before going over to 'seduce' Dixie?"
Coutellier

The View (Fri, 9/23/11) - Fashion

I noticed on today's The View, with many of the cast members of AMC, that Rebecca Buddig (Greenlee) was wearing those horrid black strappy fetish shoes. THAT DOES IT! I can only assume that those are really RB's personal shoes. Either that or she knew I'd be watching and see them, and she wore them just to get a rise out of me and see if I'd mention it.

Robin "and it worked" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 9/23/11

LOVED JAR's snarky comment that maybe Babe and Uncle Stewart in heaven can throw down cows and paintbrushes. The thought of falling cows is daunting, but if one fell on JAR, I would be okay with that

Stuart has been in a limbo/coma for at least a couple of years, he was JUST brought out of it and he's coming home TONIGHT? Puh-lease! He's still looking around trying to figure things out!

Winifred! When did SHE start working for them again?

I thought David was still in custody. Just because he temporarily got out to save Stuart doesn't mean that he should be able to roam the town again.

I DID like the Rhett Butler moment for Jack. He's walked out on her before, though, and he always comes back, so it didn't have quite the impact it probably could have had.

I'm surprised that Hayley did not return this week. I'm fine with Maturdo not returning, though.

Oh THAT SUCKS! They end the show, not just the episode, but a 41-year, 5-day-a-week show with a single gunshot and jump to black? That's IT? We didn't even get to see Stuart come home!

JAR was the one with the gun. As far as we know, no one else had a gun. He probably shot at Bianca and/or Marissa, but it could have been someone else or it could have HIT someone else (like Stuart coming home). Or he could have committed suicide. Or it could simply have gone off accidentally while he was waving it around.

We are supposed to watch the Prospect Park version of AMC when and IF it goes onto the internet at some point in the future. What if that falls through? What about people who don't have high-speed internet who won't be able to watch the PP version? A cliffhanger, by definition, is something that WILL BE CONTINUED. That was the official end of AMC as we know it, so to fire a shot into a crowded party and just go to black was a slap in the face to the fans! 

What a disappointing way to end the show!

Robin "I think I'll pretend I didn't see that last part" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 9/22/11

Back to yesterday's show, I agree that that was an unfortunate choice of haircuts for Justin Bruening (Jamie).

Are we ever going to find out just what it was that David did while he had Dixie that scared the bejesus out of her, other than keeping her captive and befuddled and alone?

I liked it when Tad told Cara that if anyone can slap Hayward around, it's gotta be HER. I think I agree. She won't put up with David's shit. I'm glad they semi-paired them for the finale.

Come on, Adam. Stuart was just brought back from the dead literally moments before. Was that REALLY the right time to spill your guts about being the one who shot and killed him? Yeah, I know, there IS no other time.

So, who is JAR going to shoot? Marissa? Himself? Bianca? David? Adam? Those are people he probably feels deserve it. Or will he accidentally shoot someone? Will he aim for someone and accidentally kill Uncle Stewart all over again? If he accidentally shoots someone, it could be just about ANYONE. Or will he have a moment of clarity and throw the gun in the river (for some kid to find)?

Robin "stay tuned for the next ... and LAST ... episode of AMC" Coutellier

ALL MY CHILDREN, (ALMOST) ALL MY LIFE

Watching the show this week has been heartrending as the days count down and I realize that it won't be there after Friday. Non-soap-fans don't and can't understand how important AMC (and long-time soaps in general) has been to the lives of so many people.

For long-term AMC fans, it goes much deeper than a show being canceled. AMC has been there for most (in some cases ALL) of our lives.  When things went wrong in our own lives, AMC was there; we could escape to Pine Valley. It was a never-ending story! But now it IS ending. Watching this last week of shows has driven home to me just how big a part of my life it has been.

AMC has been in my life since I was 15. I couldn't see it every day, of course, but I ALWAYS watched it if I had the opportunity and caught up fairly quickly each time. AMC was there when my son was born. It was there when he grew up and went off to war (TWICE). AMC was there for my first and last jobs. It was there through my falling in love, falling out of love and devastating heartbreaks.  It was there when I was doing well, and it was there when I was in a very bad way.

In 1982 I bought a VCR so that I could record AMC every day, and I've missed very few shows since that day. My son grew up with AMC being on. He didn't watch the show on a regular basis, but he still knew many of the characters, simply through osmosis. He liked Palmer's deviousness, had a crush on Maria and thought baby Laura Cudahey was really cute (she reminded both of us of my adorable niece as a toddler).

Watching montages of past shows didn't just bring back memories of characters when they were younger or characters and actors who are no longer with us; they bring back memories of our OWN lives and what was happening in real life. Fashions and hairstyles came and went on AMC and in real life, albeit on a much smaller scale for most of us. They had babies and we had babies. They lost beloved family members, and so did we. We've met good friends, on-line and face-to-face, all brought together by our devotion to AMC in all its nuances.

We can chronicle our lives by something that was a constant presence. It was a touchstone, always there for us, tugging at our emotions, making us laugh, cry, get angry, or just plain serving a need to ridicule something. I know it often made ME feel superior to some of the characters at times, and that was okay. Who better to feel superior to than a fictional TV character? It was reassuring to know that at least *I* hadn't been married 10 times, never had grief sex with someone other than my SO, never married someone to spite someone else, never had to wonder about the paternity of my child and usually didn't jump to ridiculous conclusions based on seeing a hug or hearing only PART of a sentence (notice I said "usually").  AMC was there for me to vent, one way or another, M-F, year in and year out.

And now it's ending. Time marches on. Our lives will continue, but we'll be missing something that was very significant in our lives. Non-soap watchers cannot understand the immensity of this loss. No, it's not the death of a loved one, but it IS the death of something we'd always thought would be there for us, no matter what. Like family, AMC could sometimes try our patience and make us want to wring its TV-neck; but like family, those of us still here at the end stuck it out through good and bad, because it HAS been part of our lives and it IS like family. It's been fun, thought-provoking, tedious, sexy, stupid, smart, disappointing, uplifting, painful and rewarding, all rolled into one show over the course of nearly a lifetime.

NO other TV show has been quite as important to me as AMC. Not a single one has been there for me on an almost daily basis the way AMC has. It has been there for all of my adult life and half of my teens. I will never again feel the kind of devotion and loyalty to a TV show that I have felt with AMC. How could I? Other shows come and go and there are hundreds of TV channels to choose from, not to mention the internet and whatever other forms of media are yet to be invented. They are temporary; they start and end like standalone books. They have seasons and reruns, but don't usually last for more than a handful of years at the most, and first-run shows are only on once a week in any case. AMC was there for the long haul.

Losing AMC may not be as devastating as losing a loved one in real life, but it IS a significant loss.

Robin Coutellier

BC - Wed, 9/21/11

Awwwww!!!  They start out the episode with MEK dedicating the show to Mary Fickett. I'm tearing up already and I'm only seconds into the episode!  Waaaaa!

Well, I guess my speculation about SMG playing the (unseen and unheard, so far) interviewer was wrong. Maybe it will still be someone we know from the past, though.

It's good to see Dr. Joe and CatRuth, even if it is bittersweet in so many ways.

ADAM!  Babe (I say with not nearly as much enthusiasm).

How can Maria not know what SMG's character meant when she said she knew she was homesick, but didn't know that PV was the place for which she was homesick? Uh, hello? Maria/Maureen? Maria's memory gradually came back as she remembered places that seemed so familiar to her and that she was drawn to, so she should have been able to "get" that. That said, it was cute and nostalgic to see the two of them return to the show that made them famous.


In-Jokes:

• SMG's character is seeing vampires. Maria says that vampires are popular. SMG says that she was seeing them BEFORE they became so popular.

• Maria said she had to go when she saw her cellphone ringing; she said it was an important call from Miami :-)

Tad thinks something weird is going on with all these great things happening and people showing up. Hey, there's JAMIE!  Maybe Father Clarence is making an early appearance this year.

I hate to admit it, but I was actually moved by JAR's wrenching realization that his entire life has turned to shit AND on top of all that, Babe (including the one with the Glittery Hoo-Hoo) was really, most sincerely dead. Then Babe told him to try to remember what a good man he is. Babe! WTF? No, he's NOT a good man, and if he thinks about THAT, it will only reinforce his ... shall we say "bad decisions".

Tad and Dixie met 20 years ago, hmmm? More like 22-23 years ago, and JAR is certainly older than 22. Okay, I'll let it slide; it's nowhere near as headache-inducing as trying to decipher the ages of Erica, her children, and anyone else in her long-term orbit.

They kind of telegraphed today that Stuart was going to be revived, but it still felt great when that turned out to be true! He's like the one GOOD person in PV, no matter what happened. It was also a great moment when Adam sort of channeled Stuart as a memory as he sensed Stuart's presence in the world.

Tidbit: Opal's cellphone number is 610-555-0145.

Robin "make 'em laugh, make 'em cry, make 'em wai--nope, no more waiting" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 9/20/11

JAR follows Griff to a place where some of David's reanimated tissue is being stored. Griff warns him that it's not Babe there, and he has no idea what he's risking! Okay, this totally cracked me up because I had JUST finished watching a couple of episodes of Family Guy, and the last thing I saw was the end of the the "retarded horse/gay gene" episode wherein a dead (for about 2-3 weeks), battered horse carcass lands on the kitchen table (and it's on the heels of watching Young Frankenstein yesterday), so you can only imagine what I was visualizing/afraid might be under the sheet!  *I'm* not even sure what I was visualizing, but it wasn't pretty and it certainly wasn't glittery

Am I the only one who, when confronted with the cast from That Mastication Show as they invite us to join them, flips them off, often accompanied by an loud, unvarnished "FUCK YOU!"? Didn't think so. (nope, I'm not even going to use asterisk censors for that)

Most of the actors all seem so relaxed in these last days. They've probably been dreading the axe falling for so long that now that it's fallen they can relax and be themselves.

I'd like to say I was surprised that Kendall and Bianca agreed that SMG might be good to play one of them in the movie of Erica's life, but after the first couple of interview shots and based on rumblings I've heard, I figured that not only would her name come into play as far as casting the movie goes, but I'm guessing that SMG is playing the character who is interviewing them. (That's not a spoiler because that's only a guess)

The flashbacks were nice, but there should have been WAY more Mona and WAY less Ryan, and given Mona's long-term love for Phoebe's husband it might have been a good way to segue some shots of Phoebe and Dr. Tyler, too.

Okay, I'm starting to get weepy now. It physically HURT to delete my Wednesday-at-1-am Soapnet AMC scheduled recording of AMC. 

Robin "sniffle, sniffle, sniff ... sniff -- wait, is that a HORSE I smell?" Coutellier