BC - Wed, 7/20/11

Tad said Dixie's father, Seabone Hunckle, just passed away. I could have Ihe died a long time ago.

Why would Seabone Hunckle have Dixie's childhood journal? He didn't live with Dixie, her mother and Will. He left them and started another family (hence Dell, (not to mention Di with yet another woman) -- Seabone got around. Dixie didn't spend her childhood with Seabone, so they are rewriting history unless Dixie entrusted her diary to him as an adult, which seems highly unlikely.

Isn't it a little late in the lifetime of the show for them to develop someone just BECOMING dependent upon alcohol and/or drugs (I'm talking about Asher). And what the hell IS Asher's real name, anyway? Are we ever going to find THAT out? Asher Pike sounds like a fish with a nasty cigarette habit.

Haven't we see Maria wear that dress before? Maybe she borrowed one of Krystal's dresses, given their shared affinity for really big implants. Maybe it's the only thing that would fit her.

Does anyone else cringe whenever JAR refers to eBabe as a lesbian? I don't mean that being a lesbian is cringeworthy, just that I'm not even remotely convinced yet that eBabe IS a lesbian. She seems to have fallen in love with Bianca, but that doesn't make her a lesbian. It's not like she's even had sex with her yet. She's barely kissed her, and those kisses were mega-awkward. I'm not a lesbian, but I bet I could put WAAAY more enthusiasm and realism into a woman-to-woman kiss than eBabe did. I mean, it's only kissing so far; it's another pair of lips. If you're going to do it, DO it. There just doesn't seem to be any underlying drive behind it, despite eBabe suddenly saying that she's been fighting it all along. No. She hasn't because there was nothing there to fight as far as libido goes. Nothing. Zilch. We've all put way more feeling into simply discussing the matter than eBabe has put into their entire relationship pre- and post-revelation.

Frankie called Caleb to discuss Asher's probable need for addiction counseling, despite Asher's resistance to any help. WTF? Unless Asher signed something saying it was okay for Frankie to talk to Caleb about his Asher's medical issues (and he may very well HAVE, considering Caleb has been there for him), Frankie has no right to call Caleb and tell him that Asher appears to be addicted to pain pills.

How many times now has Tad "made peace with Dixie's death"? She's like a life/death/life yo-yo or whack-a-mole.

Is David Canary coming back? I know there were rumors that he was ill and that's why he left the show. I ask because the photo they showed of him looks like it could be more recent. He looks older and softer in it than he did before.

So JAR's going to go out driving while drunk. Who's he going to hit? Maybe Dixie. He already accidentally shot her the LAST time she returned from the dead (although, to be fair, she was only PRETENDING to be dead that time). It would be a PV/Cooney tradition for him to now hit her with his car. Then again, he could hit Amanda. Again. Oooh, what if he hits AJ?

Robin "please, Please, PLEASE hit Ryan!" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 6/21/11

David on camera: "The pain that I have suffered in my life has given me a tremendous amount of empathy." OH, BARF!

LOD:
Amanda to Jake: "If JAR wants me to work, I can't exactly just blow him off." That's EXACTLY what she did: blow him

Jake tells Amanda that their relationship is his priority and NOTHING is more important. He has to go to the hospital to find out more about David, but they'll talk about EVERYTHING and get back on track when he gets back. Amanda thought bubble: "Yeah, whatever--LEAVE!  I need to douche."

Caleb is looking ... refreshed. He's probably making plans for post-September.

Erica has had two live births, been stabbed and shot in the abdomen. I know Dr. Fascionella was able to fix the scar with the iron rod that went through Erica's cheek after her Phantom of the Opera bit, but how is Jane going to be able to duplicate ALL of those things. Once Jack gets her in bed, he IS going to notice something is different.

Amanda tells Jake that she already KNOWS he slept with Cara.  Jake: "No, I DIDN'T!"

Robin "oopsie" Coutellier

BC - Mon-Tue, 5/23-24/11

Tidbit:  The wrapper on the money band in the video of Ricky and Diana showed that it was from Eden Falls Casino.  It appears it was a casino that was abruptly put out of business, presumably due to Ricky and Diana's dealings.

Ricky is such a PIG!  Push, push, push on the surprise (even to the bride) wedding!

How could they get married on the spur of the moment in PV?  Have the laws changed?  Back in the day, people who wanted to elope had to go over state lines to Elk Green because there was no waiting period there.

Krystal has had just a touch too much Botox recently.  She's visibly having difficulty moving the muscles around her mouth as much as she would naturally do.

I can't believe how far Kendall always allows things to go. 

Misheard Line as Jane tells Jack (about the wedding:

• What I heard:  "And instead of rice, we can throw FECES or even glitter!"

• What she actually said:  "And instead of rice, we can throw CZs or even glitter!"

Robin "I have no idea what CZs are" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 10/11/10

Ah, NOW I see Susan Lucci's new cheek implants. Yup, summer "refreshment". She said Jack had made her BLISSFULLY happy in the last few months. Apparently he's been stuffing her ... cheeks.

Was Kendall's dress packaged in a plastic Egg casing before she put it on?

Why would anyone want to buy from or invest in a company that is CONSTANTLY in dire straits? Fusion has had it's top executives murdered, kidnapped, on trial, in jail, in prison, on the run after escaping from prison, they had all of their computer data completely wiped out, one of their former top employees is a whackjob multiple murderer (Annie), the co-founders keep disappearing for a months or even years on end, they've sold tainted products that made a lot of people sick, they've been shut down by the SEC, and their products are needlessly expensive.

Jackson tells Greenlee that the papers are calling her the "Green Widow". BWAHAHAHAHAA! That's a good one!

Something looks odd about that bench. Oh, I know -- it's not tagged! I guess Pine Valley doesn't have much of a gang problem, other than that nasty Fusionista gang.

I can't help it. I just can't take Scott seriously. Adam Mayfield, the actor playing him, is just so HAMMY all the time. He's constantly striking a pose, even if it's just with his face. It takes me completely out of the story every time I see him.

Annie makes it clear to Colby that her daughter is her priority in all this, and she doesn't want her getting hurt. Really? Annie's number one priority is ANNIE. If Emma was REALLY her priority, she would never insist upon continuing to live at the Chandler mansion and she would not have had sex -- again -- with JAR. For that matter, she wouldn't have married Scott so soon after her breakup with Adam.

Erica points out that Greenlee went RIGHT for the good sheets. That's Erica Kane's residence -- aren't ALL the sheets "the good sheets"?

Robin "will she hog the 'good' toilet paper, too?" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 9/16/10

The show started with Ryan remembering/dreaming about the fight preceding David's presumed death. Ryan was being tortured by David saying "Greenlee is mine, Greenlee is mine, Greenlee is mine", ad nauseam. I kept thinking that what SHOULD have been said and repeated was "What the hell kind of name is GREENlee??" [Yes, I know that Greenlee is the surname of Greenlee's maternal grandparents]

In a new role, the biggest since it portrayed Kendall's home pregnancy test, we have a character-prop labeled "Digitalis", making new appearances as often as possible when it really ought to stay hidden, especially when Greenlee, herself, says that her possessions are being searched for evidence.

That is one extremely unflattering top Bianca is wearing. Actually, it kind of looks like TWO unattractive (not to mention bland) tops, ripped up and loosely basted/glued to each other. What did the wardrobe dept do, tell her to twirl around the set while they threw tops at her, vowing to go with however they landed?

Tad says he can't imagine Ryan poisoning David, and he doesn't think Ryan can imagine it, either. Really? This from the man who buried someone alive and tortured him for, what, weeks, before he died in an "oopsy!" moment? Ryan has tied people up plenty of times, and wasn't he part of the group that strung up Richie with a noose and a chair (just to scare him)? Ryan was raised by a man who routinely beat his wife and children. He was a con-man. He's a man who drives motorcycles off of cliffs and callously lets people think he's dead. He was also the man who went to Fight Clubs and almost punched his wife with his clenched FIST! Being a soap hunk/"hero", he has moved from one violent storyline to another for years on end. Hell, he was beating the SHIT out of David minutes before David died! Ryan is a man of impulsive AND planned violence. He's lost his memory on several occasions and had a brain aneurysm. His brain is obviously f**ked up, probably in part due to all the blows to his head (fists, feet, bullets, rocks, pavement, boards and various handy instruments). Even titanium will break eventually. Poisoning should be a piece of cake (so to speak) for him, especially when it comes to protecting his lady-love (the aforementioned near-punchee).

Kendall says Ryan couldn't possibly have used Digitalis to poison David -- how would he even know what the drug would do? Uh, one word: I-N-T-E-R-N-E-T. Oh, looks like she figured that out by the end of the show (via his phone search history). Now the vial of "D" has fingerprints from, at a minimum, Greenlee and Kendall, both of whom are obvious potential suspects.

AJ got into a fight with another kid, who required 11 stitches. The principal discusses it with JAR who bribed him to let it go via an offer of new playground equipment, which makes me wonder why they are sending their precious little heir to a school that's so cash-strapped it can't even afford decent playground equipment. In today's politically correct, zero tolerance atmosphere, I'm surprised Jesse wasn't there arresting AJ.

Okay, THAT much invocation of Leo's name is a pretty good indication that Leo may show up again. And they aren't just showing LEO's photo -- it's a photo of Josh Duhamel playing Leo. I would LOVE to see him on the show again, but I have my doubts he'll return; they couldn't afford him anymore, and he's busy making several movies. However, I could easily see them pulling a JaNut and have him return after extensive plastic surgery, looking like a "new" man. If he does, that would make TWO of her husbands that have returned from the dead (THREE if we assume that David is not really dead and will eventually come back). Greenlee, herself, has returned from the dead. She's not a Black Widow so much as an out-of-control dead/not-dead remote control, not unlike a malfunctioning garage door opener.

Robin "whatever happened to her 'natural look' makeup campaign?" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 7/7/10

Ah, NOW I see why Erica had bedhead. She went to Caleb's with the express intention of visually seducing him into getting his (hopefully) undivided attention and cooperating with her. She's also tried to get him drunk. Ah, she has papers for him to sign. This is vintage Erica.

Michael Nouri (Caleb) has surprisingly few wrinkles for someone who is going on 65 years old. Susan Lucci isn't the only one with some reconstruction going on. His lack of wrinkles is also what clangs with me as far as his character goes. They are portraying him as a hardcore mountain man, but not only his his cabin ridiculously clean and new looking, but so is HE. It's a hard life and it tends makes people look OLDER than other people of the same age, not younger. I guarantee you that Caleb is NEVER without three essential things in his pockets, even if a plane DOES fall on his house:

• An all-in-one tool (you know, the kind with cutting tools, screwdrivers, can openers, etc., all in one compact, fold-up utility)

• Sunscreen

• Moisturizer and LOTS of it

Not necessarily in that order. It WAS pretty rough for Caleb to sleep out under the stars, considering it meant being without his ENTIRE Clinique For Men collection.

I thought AJ went WITH JAR, even though eBabe was going to stay home to study. Apparently not. Why didn't JAR do a favor for his wife and take the kid out of her hair while she crammed for the bar exam? When I made the earlier comment about AJ drowning while JAR drooled and dallied, I said it in the frame of context that AJ was already on the beach and JAR was going to join him when Annie showed up.

I like the little kid playing AJ better than the original one. That's probably mostly because the new one looks a LOT like my own son when he was little Well that and the previous kid always made me think of a face you might see on a poster for the H____r Youth campaign. Just the way he looked, not anything he said or did. I'm sure he's a very sweet little boy.

Madison works for Ryan -- did he really NOT have her in his contacts already, and vice-versa? Not that anyone in PV NEEDS speed-dial -- No one ever had to look up a number or dial all 7 digits even back when they did rotary dialing, although I DO remember one time where someone actually DID dial all 7 numbers. I think it might have been in the 1990s. Of course, that one shining bit of realism was vastly negated by the fact that everyone had faux-wood-paneled answering machines from the 1970s up until just a few years ago. Really, I think they were still using them as recently as 2005, and that was at WORK! Every now and Erica would use voicemail at Enchantment, but then she'd turn around and use a vintage answering machine again. To be fair, answering machines are MUCH better soap plot devices for eavesdropping and accidental recording purposes.

Annie talks about being destitute and on the run with Emma while hiding from her first husband. She says they were in San Francisco and were kicked out of the shelters eventually, so she broke into a cottage ON THE WHARF to keep off the streets. On the WHARF? Oh PUH-LEEZE! The wharf doesn't have "cottages". It's a W-H-A-R-F in a major city, not Cape Cod. It has docks, warehouses, a plethora of tourist shops and (until recently) loud, aggressive and stinky sea lions.

Erica forgot to take her shawl when she left Wildwind.

Robin "will Caleb pick it up and sniff it?" Coutellier

BC - Thu-Fri, 1/21-22/10

Oh please -- who drops their clothes on the floor as they come off with the clothes in the shape of a person? First there's Ryan's shirt, then his pants, then his socks, all lined up the way they would be ON him (okay, so the shirt was twisted somewhat).

I had to bust out laughing when Liza started stripping for Tad. It's probably already been mentioned, but it cracked me up because of the animation on Youtube that was done after Liza came to town and had sex with Zach on a gaming table at the casino. I THOUGHT that was a Pratt Falls episode, but it might have been a different, similar spoof. I find it hard to believe that that little stripping dance done in the animation wasn't at least partly an inspiration for THIS scene, especially since Liza got stuck in her blouse and couldn't get her hands out of the ends of the sleeves.

I loved the look on Erica's face when Opal told her that she's keeping her feelings all bottled up like a can of GRANNY'S PRESERVES! What was even funnier was that Susan Lucci couldn't quite make the face she WANTED to make because ... well ... Granny IS preserved.

Ryan tells Madison that they started Fusion by experimenting with lipgloss in the kitchen. Get your facts straight, Ryan/writers -- they were experimenting by making LIPSTICK.

I LOVED it when Tad went into the hallway and Liza asked him what took him so long. He said: "Well, I'm a little slow, all right? My BRAIN is engorged." ROTFLMAO! We all know which brain HE was talking about!

Robin "I'm enjoying their sexy silliness, though" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 11/30/09

Liza tells Bailey that she's taken on Adam, Annie AND Scott as clients. Isn't that a HUGE conflict of interest? Any one of them could point fingers at the other one for whatever they want. She can't properly pick out any ONE of them to fully protect. Totally bogus.

You just KNOW Bailey is going to try to take Stuart back and use Liza's hectic work schedule as a reason. The fact that Bailey has no visible means of support will probably not be taken into consideration.

Bobbie Eakes has done more than lose weight. She looks different. She must have had some work done. The fact that her hair is pulled back rather than down in bangs makes her look different, too.

Robin "she looks GOOD, though" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 9/29/09

Oh please -- who has a VCR or DVR nowadays that makes backwards chipmonk noises when rewound during play? Just Jake, apparently.

Why couldn't Amanda walk in from the car on her own? It's not like she was out cold -- otherwise she wouldn't be holding herself in such a stiffly obvious pose, she'd just be limply dangling in David's arms.

The scene changes from Amanda prettily waking up to Kendall furiously pounding on the door to be let out of her cel--er--room. I didn't realize that it was a such a relief not to see Kendall yesterday, in all her shining stupidity, distracted as I was marveling at the stupidity of holding a last-minute marathon in a cramped, tacky office. It may be morning, but Kendall doesn't know if someone else might be out there, so pounding on the door and yelling is foolhardy, at best, although not nearly as stupid as invisibly leaving her child with the neighbors and showing up at a televised marathon to spy on her husband.

David tells Trevor that he (and Amanda) are going to teach Trevor how to be a good man and how to love. Well, AMANDA might do that -- I have a tough time seeing DAVID do that. Meanwhile, Amanda falls for soap trick #5: a despicable man is nice (or worse, tender) to a child/infant in view of a woman and the woman melts, canceling out every heinous thing the man has ever done not only in his life, but TO that specific woman. Amanda's such a SAP! Oh wait, she didn't fall for it. Well, THAT'S refreshing ... OFGS, it looks like she DID fall for it by the time morning rolled around.

Sooo, Aidan DID obtain Ian from the neighbors? A strange foreigner who speaks halting English shows up and says he's there to pick up the rich and famous baby and they, apparently, just hand him over. They also apparently never questioned why the invisible babysitter rushed out and left Ian alone until they could mosey on over to take care of him. Frankly, I would think a call to CPS by the neighbors is warranted.

Angie wonders where she left her purse. Excuse me? A "big" event like that and she just sets her purse down somewhere? This wasn't a BBQ at her friend's house -- it was a televised event with camerapeople, reporters, psychotic and deceitful people like Annie and Madison, deceitful-in-the-extreme, mustache-twirling people like David and Adam and just plain strangers. I hope the only thing she had in her purse was lipstick, because that may be the only thing LEFT in her purse by now.

Krystal is looking very good. She's lost some weight and possibly had some work done. Good for you, Girl -- it's workin' for ya!

Why did Natalia haul a police manual in her purse with her to the marathon? I guess she wanted a little light reading for her break times. Did Angie have a copy of Grey's Anatomy in HER bag? Too late -- it's probably already listed on eBay.

If Kendall gets a new trial (or rather A trial, since she pled guilty without one), how are they planning to swap out her and the impersonator in her jail cell? For that matter, if they CAN'T get Kendall legally freed, how long is her impersonator supposed to sit in the cell pretending to be Kendall?

Ryan tells Erica that he has always thought of the two of them as equal. Really? How about when she was going to be your mother-in-law? What about when she was going to be your stepmother? Never thought of her THAT way? What about Spike? Is he supposed to refer to Erica as Mommy Erica? Not that he knows her as a grandmother, in any case, but this situation is just stomach-turning.

Did Erica and Ryan actually HAVE sex yet. It seemed like they got together to talk about it (after being interrupted), but it's not clear if they took up where they left off or if they just continued rubbing and slobbering all over each other without consummating the act. I suspect they didn't and we'll still see a scene where they at least find a BED to do it in. Grandma might be in great shape for her age, but doing it on tables, desks, floors or rocks could result in broken bones. If they DID have sex, did they use a condom?

If they carry out this ridiculous Ryan/Erica pairing, would they have Erica get pregnant? We all know Susan Lucci is in her 60s, but Erica, having finally given up the ghost on staying 35, will probably only admit to 45 or 50, so it's a possibility. Maybe THAT's how they'll end the show once and for all after it gets canceled, which can't be far behind after AMC moves to CA and the main cast players stay in NY. Erica gets pregnant and she dies in childbirth (if Kendall, Annie or a resurrected Greenlee don't kill her first). Greenlee may show up again and take Ryan back from Erica. Emma and Spike, meanwhile decide to join forces for a family Thanksgiving dinner that NO ONE will ever forget.

What is Natalia's problem with Brot? She had to be taught how to get the upper hand on a suspect by RANDI, so why does she think it will be SOOOO hard for Brot, a war veteran, to pass a test to get into the academy? SHE passed it and she had NO experience in any form of Security work or traning, whatsoever.

Robin "maybe this means Brot will stay with the show after the move (good!)" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 8/18/09

OT/TAN: I'm only just now watching Tuesday's show. Moving is exhausting and time-consuming! The big move happens on 8/29, so things should settle down after that. I'll even have access to SoapNet!

Okay, I have to say it -- that hairstyle is MUCH too young-looking for Angie. It's hard to take her seriously when she looks like that. She looks like she's on her way to the airport to welcome the Beatles to the States.

So Randi took the baby. That's such a trite storyline. Woman loses baby, woman steals baby. At least she doesn't seem to be so deluded that she thinks the baby is hers, although she does seem to think that finders-keepers applies. The poor baby must be stinky, diaper-rash-plagued and starving by NOW.

It's the second half of August -- why is there a fire in the Slater fireplace? And why are there lit candles all over the place? It's not even nighttime. The romance of fire kind of loses its sizzle in the daytime, especially in the dog days of summer. The romance will fizzle out even quicker if Spike wakes up and wanders into the living room to take a closer look at the pretty flaming candles.

Uh, don't vaccinations have to be done at least 48 hours before any exposure to a virus? Erica won't have any time to build up immunity if she's leaving for Africa in a few hours.

Natalia's reaction to finding out that Randi "found" the baby is pretty underwhelming. She's acting like Randi found a pair of shoes, was wearing them and Natalia's saying: "Girl, you canNOT wear THOSE shoes with THOSE pants." Except she says it with less concern than she would if there really WERE clashing shoes involved.

Whoever filmed and/or edited the NYC scenes should be FIRED. They couldn't keep anything in focus for more than a half a second and everything was sped up and wildly swinging from one shot to the next. Yeah, I know it's supposed to be artsy and light-hearted, but it's making me dizzy. And they keep shifting from day to night to day and back to night again. A good ending to the scene would have been for the guy pedaling the cart that was hauling them around to have let loose a REALLY loud and pungent fart. Honestly, those shots were worthy of an Ed Wood movie.

If Randi believes that she lost her baby because she did bad things in the past, what does she think will happen to THIS baby now that she's picked it up?

Oh great -- here comes another romance novel from Kendall.

My sister, Sharlene, said:
"OMG ... Ryan just kissed Erica ... that would be like me making out with my son-in-law ... EEWWWWWW!!! Aside from the yuck factor, Ryan and Erica scenes around New York doing fun stuff is a bit sad, considering they are moving the show to California. Once again I have to say that Kendall is too dumb to live ... Damn, she's such an impulsive IDIOT!!!!! Time for another coma ... PLEASE!" I agree with my sister on all counts!

Erica said she's wondering if she'll be different somehow when she gets back. Was that supposed to be a veiled allusion to the big move to California? Is Susan Lucci staying in NY? Will Erica be different when she returns from Africa because someone ELSE will be playing Erica?

Here's a possible scenario. Perhaps what will happen is that she'll be riding an elephant for a publicity shot, but the elephant goes rogue and thunders off before anyone can stop it, with Erica clinging to whatever one clings while on top of a rogue African elephant. Months later she will finally be rescued from a group of chimpanzees that allowed her to stay amongst them for the duration. The female champanzees will be wearing grass skirts and halter-tops made from vines and leaves. They'll have blossoms in their head hair and will have learned to eat with their pinkies stuck up in the air. A few of them will have learned to make stiletto heels with twigs, leaves and vines and can be seen gamely trying to figure out how to walk on them using their feet AND hands. When the males come sniffing around, the females all start to act coy and begin doing simian simper-dips. The males just roll around in the dirt, bonk themselves on the head, leer at the females and yank them around, and puff out their chests, pounding on them and each other, which is kind of what the males in PV do on a daily basis, anyway.

Erica, in the meantime, will have learned to climb trees without breaking her nails and become an excellent groomer. She never WAS one to eat much, so she willingly gave away the nits, fleas, lice and assorted vermin that she finds in their fur, which was an excellent way to form bonds of friendship and curry (so to speak) favor with desired allies -- this also helped to keep her from being beaten to a bloody pulp. She was already well-versed in the art of throwing hissy fits and flinging things around when she was mad. Her close association with Ryan and his chimpanzee mannerisms had laid the groundwork for her to look speculatively at the alpha male of the troupe. In the meantime, she tried to sabotage the alpha female in whatever ways she could, mostly by trying to get the other females to turn against the alpha female by telling lies about her as she groomed the others and gave them little tiny braids. Getting rid of bodily wastes was not an issue for Erica, and it never was -- in all her life she's only used bathrooms for taking baths, catfights and getting stabbed, after all. Oh, she still had catfights and got stabbed, but bathing didn't happen as often. She will also be sporting some bitemarks, a torn ear and some bald patches, which would lead the way for plastic surgery so that when they put another actress in the role, we'll be EXPECTING her to look different. Dr. Fashionella, alas, is not available to restore her face to exactly the way it was before her sojourn with the chimps, having met a similar fate in the rain forests of Brazil.

I'd say Erica would just be dragged off by lions, but lions like a little MEAT on bones, and I'm pretty sure lions would HATE eating silicone even if they DID bother with her as a snack. I can just hear them now: "PTUI! Ugh! I KNEW I shouldn't have tried this appetizer! I can't BELIEVE the things they put into the food supply these days! I'm telling you, Ralph, do NOT eat that part! Convenience foods can taste so plastic-y sometimes!"

Robin "channeling Gary Larson" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 5/26/09

Zach pleads guilty and the judge says fine, sentencing is on June 3 (my birthday) and he goes to prison in the meantime. Court is adjourned. WTF??? Did the prosecutor even SAY anything? Zach may not want to have counsel, but he has to GO ON THE RECORD saying so and the judge has to question him about that choice, FOR THE RECORD. He must be advised of his rights, in court, when pleading guilty. If he pleads guilty, there can be no appeal, for instance. Was he told that? No. For that matter, ZACH has to allocute (tell what happened) for the record. It's entirely possible that HIS version of events do not match up with the investigation. I don't think they even had a court reporter to MAKE a record! What a TOTAL FARCE! How stupid do they think we ARE?

OT: For you REAL court-watchers, there is a Casey Anthony hearing scheduled for Thursday, 5/28. WFTV in Orlando usually has video of all things Casey Anthony, either live or after the fact. Phil Spector is scheduled to be sentenced on Friday, 5/29, for the Second Degree Murder of Lana Clarkson. There may or may not be video coverage somewhere, but "Sprocket" will be in the courtroom and blogging about it at Trials & Tribulations. Sprocket attended most of both trials and blogged about it all. Phil Spector HATES Sprocket and routinely directs his Stare Of Death at her.

My sister mentioned that Kendall is wearing a relatively low-cut neckline for someone who has just had heart transplant surgery. Sure enough, she is; however, there IS a scar there, although it's ridiculously faint, all things considered. My stepfather has a heart surgery scar due to bypass surgery and it doesn't look NEARLY as faded (or thin) as hers, and his surgery was done almost 2 years ago.

Okay, so Jennifer Bassey's face doesn't move very much, but for someone who is nearly 67 years old, she looks FABULOUS!

Robin "to hell with growing old gracefully!" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 4/21/09

The little actress playing Emma was TOTALLY not into Ryan today. He makes a big deal about getting her off to school and demanding not one, but TWO kisses and a hug. She just stands there, unmoving, as he draws her into his arms. He asks for a hug, then hugs her. She doesn't move her arms in the slightest :-) Then, good parent that he is, he sends her "straight down to the bus", literally shoving her out the door and quickly shutting it so that he doesn't see Annie who is waiting VERY CLOSE BY in the hallway. The bus is apparently waiting downstairs for her. They live in the f**king PENTHOUSE. She's going to have to take the elevator down by herself.

Why didn't David bring a needle with him to confront Adam at the mansion? I'm assuming he was trying to shoot him up with sodium pentothal or something similar that could be classed as "truth serum". Talk about a missed opportunity!

Erica looked FABULOUS today! I'm still fighting over the disbelief about her new breasts, which she has popping out of her outfits on a regular basis now, but I'm not sure how much of that is judging a 60+ woman for getting and flaunting such amazing implants or just plain envy. I suppose if I looked that good, I'd flaunt them too!

Why did Annie bring Emma to the same park where everyone else in PV goes? And why did she bring a big, house-shaped picnic basket? I might veer out of my way to admire that if *I* were strolling in the park.

Ryan calls Jesse because Annie took Emma. He doesn't KNOW that. Given that he just shoved her out the door and practically slammed it shut on her, ANYBODY could have taken her. He's RIGHT, but still ... Then he gets all self-righteous about Annie escaping THREE TIMES from Oakhaven. Again, he shoved Emma out the door and left her alone in the hallway where, coincidentally, he still keeps a key under a flowerpot, KNOWING that Annie had escaped at least TWICE up to that point AND that Annie was hellbent on seeing Emma. He needs some Daddy-The-PROTECTOR lessons.

Emma shows back up at the penthouse and Jesse glances out the door and says "no sign of Annie". FGS, WTF is WRONG with these people? I don't hear Jesse on the phone telling his people to BOLO for her at, oh, I don't know, the DOORS TO THE BUILDING or the street or even in PV as opposed to Illinois or Memorial Park.

Krystal was pretty rude just barging into the Marissa Tasker's massage room. Not only did she cut into a paying customer's time, but she jeopardized Marissa's job. Sure enough, Marissa is fired because of Krystal. Krystal, who has had to live hand-to-mouth for most of her life, should at least understand WHY Marissa has to work there and respect that fact. She also could have offered to pay for the bill of the appointment she ruined, along with a generous tip/bribe to the owner of the massage parlor, even if the owner IS an asshole. Just because Krystal doesn't think Marissa should have to work there does not, as Marissa pointed out, change the fact that Marissa NEEDS the job. I'm sure Krystal will get her a more respectable job in PV, somehow (maybe having David employ her at PVH), but that's beside the point. It's not UP to Krystal and she has no right to interfere with Marissa's job. Now they are BOTH caught in a raid. That probably won't look good for Krystal's custody arrangements about Jenny.

Looks like David made off with a bottle of Adam's prescription pills. Uh-oh.

WTF is up with the sudden appearance of GUNS in the hands of PV citizens? First Jake pulls one on David and now Ryan barges into the Pine Cone Motel room and holds one on Aidan and Annie! Of course, Annie DOES keep kidnapping Emma, so I can kind of see Ryan's side, but I'm getting alarmed at how EASILY the guns are suddenly appearing. This is Chuck Pratt-hole's doing, no doubt about it, and I do NOT like where this trend is going. Also, as it is often pointed out lately on the Pine Valley Podcast, there is also a trend now for the women of PV to be treated like dirt, disrespected, called sluts, bitches and whores etc. I can see where it at least fits in with the massage parlor boss's character to keep flinging crap like that around, but this is very disturbing that Pratt feels so free to be so misogynistic so OFTEN. This headwriter MUST go!

Speaking of Chuck Pratt, I'm sure many of you have heard about the Pratt Falls series of animations on YouTube making fun of Chuck Pratt and the show's producer, Julie Hanan Carruthers. This has been discussed in RATSA, but I'm including this for those of you who might not have read those posts (if you read this via the website, for instance). They are HYSTERICAL! They are produced via a text-to-movie method at Xtranormal.com, so the voices are mechanical and the characters boxy, but ANYONE can do it! The people making the Pratt Falls videos are doing it EXTRA well! As many of you also know, Chuck Pratt has greatly angered fans recently because he's blaming Eden Riegal's departure for the horrid way they handled Reese and Bianca's relationship, marriage and immediate breakup, leaving Tamara Braun (Reese) without a storyline. The fact is that Eden Riegal was not SUPPOSED to be back for more than a few months -- it was in her CONTRACT. Most internet-savvy fans already knew that even before she came back, but Chuck Pratt is saying he was surprised and left in a lurch because she left. The Pratt Falls series basically rips him a new one over that in a wickedly funny way. There's a pretty funny parody of the sex-on-the-gaming-table scene with Liza and Zach, too. If you have an issue with clicking links like the one above to the Pratt Falls series, just go to Youtube and search for "pratt falls" or the poster, "grrarrgghh".

Regarding my reference earlier to Julie Chandler's button hat, it was a running joke on rec.arts.tv.soaps for a while back in the 1980s because one day she showed up wearing a black hat with colorful buttons sewn onto every square inch of it. It looked ABSURD, but it was apparently fashionable at the time, or at least someone HOPED it would be fashionable. We got a LOT of mileage out of that one and I was hoping someone else would remember it and get the joke. Sorry, I should have explained it

Robin "unfashionably unfashionable" Coutellier

BC - Thu - 2/19/09

There's been a lot of discussion about Kendall's totally unrealistic movements since her heart transplant and the possibly of her chest breaking open again (driving, climbing down cliffs, (giving BIG, HARD hugs) etc). It got me to thinking ... she's probably wearing a tight, uncomfortable bra. What's the rule on bra wearing after open heart surgery? Then again, that may be the only thing holding her ribs together at this point. If she takes it off, she's liable to BLOW like a kernel of popcorn in a microwave.

Speaking of Kendall's breast area, did she get them enhanced during her coma? My sister asked that and she may be right. They aren't glaringly obvious like Erica's, but they DO seem somewhat bigger now. Maybe Zach slipped David a little something extra to enhance them as long as he was already futzing around in the general area. Maybe Josh donated his balls, too

Did you see the SIZE of that needle Dr. Sinclair was brandishing??? Do they even MAKE needles that big for PEOPLE? It wasn't a needle so much as an ice pick! I find it hard to believe it went through Sinclair's arm without sticking out on the other side and downright IMPOSSIBLE to believe she didn't feel it going in.

Why on EARTH would Emma be with Kendall right now? Ryan now HATES Zach and Kendall isn't in any condition to be taking care of kids right now.

Wait a second -- how the HELL did Aidan manage to take Annie, who IS still a patient/prisoner at Oakhaven, to PVH? Just because Annie's doctor tried to kill Annie and inadvertently ended up getting stuck with the horse-needle herself doesn't mean that Annie isn't still INCARCERATED. The administrator (wasn't he fired?) was even standing right there! Annie should have been hustled off to another room, not left alone with Aidan with her door hanging open! Even Angie was concerned about her safety when left alone with Annie in an exam room. If Annie had to go to the hospital, she should have an armed guard(Aidan doesn't count).

I don't feel even REMOTELY sorry for Ryan. He walks into the penthouse feeling desolate and angry and I just don't care. At all.

If Bianca's lawyer already knew that Reese has parental rights as far as Gabrielle goes, why was she trying so hard to make Reese sign the papers? Reese was right to rip the papers up, not only because she does not want an annulment, but because she has NO legal representation as far as the annulment, property or child custody goes! Bianca IS being a bitch and out-of-character, but I don't think it's THAT out-of-character for anyone, even the sweetest person in PV, to go into full-on bitch mode in that kind of situation. It doesn't help, but it IS realistic. When it comes to people getting divorces (or annulment's), just about ANY kind of behavior can emerge.

Robin "and EVERYONE had better duck!" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 2/11/09

If I were Erica, I wouldn't bounce so much in my shoes -- that left boob of hers is about to break free of its mooring! Then again, she is obviously so proud of her new boobs that maybe that's what she WANTS.

Do cadets start doing ride-alongs THAT quickly into their schooling (like 2 days)?

Greenlee tells the woman fitting her dress that she's going to ride her motorcycle up to the wedding (in Connecticut) because she and Ryan are going to ride off into the sunset. They don't know where they're going to go yet. Hello? What about Emma (not to mention Spike)? She acts like they don't even EXIST! And isn't this kind of a bad time of the year (on the East Coast, anyway) to be riding off on long motorcycle trips, particularly UNPLANNED ones?

Wednesday's product placement: Natalia makes some nutritious, good-for-you, hot Campbell's soup to keep the tradition going. I hope it's the version WITHOUT all that sodium, because Campbell's puts a SHITLOAD of sodium in their soups (that's a big part of what makes them tasty).

Robin "A salt lick! Mmmm, mmmm GOOD!" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 12/1/08

How do they ever avoid conflicts of interest at PVH? Erica is being brought in with stab wounds. Jake tells them to notify his father. Erica's relationships with the hospital (off the top of my head) are:

1. Joe is her former father-in-law.


2. She was married to Joe's son, Jeff Martin, who used to work there. She treated him badly and aborted their child without his knowledge.


3. She was engaged to Charlie Brent, Tara's son.


4. Joe was almost her grandpa-in-law when she was engaged to Charlie Brent.


5. Jake is Jeff Martin's brother and Joe's son.


6. The baby that was not really aborted is now Josh, who used to work at PVH and is Jeff's son, Joe's grandson and Jake's nephew.


7. Erica kidnapped the newborn baby of their former colleague, Maria.


8. Adam has been on the board of PVH for many years and JAR continues the tradition. They blow and and cold over Erica at any given moment.


9. David Hayward is her former lover.


10. The staff at the hospital has treated not one, but TWO stab-wound victims of Erica (Dimitri and Zach).

I know the doctors at PVH are fine and noble people, but you'd think there might be a teensy-weensy bit of prejudice toward her there.

Erica has been stabbed AND needs surgery. THAT's going to put some holes in her-- Paging Dr. Fascionella, STAT!

Robin "surely she has him on retainer" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 11/26/08

Line of the Day:
Jake introduces Erica and Taylor, who have met previously. Erica: "Of course, I recognize you -- the Bella Party!" She turns to Bianca and explains: "She killed a man." BWAHAHAHAHAAA!

You know, except for the blood (which there isn't very much of), Erica looks very pretty and feminine lying on the floor of the ladies room bleeding to death from a stab wound. What a PERFECT pose (all the better to show off her VERY round and shiny new breast implants). How come no one on soaps ever faints like REAL people faint? You know, sprawling, legs and arms spread, floppy as a ragdoll, and mouth gaping open and/or mashed into the floor or some object?

Robin "what did Erica said to Annie?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 10/10/08

Okay, having the boobs of a 20-yr-old is one thing, but Erica has GOT to stay out of that 20-yr-old's WARDROBE CLOSET! That outfit looks RIDICULOUS on her! What did she do, raid Cyndi Lauper's 1980s costume warehouse?

Robin "short and sweet and to the point" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 10/6/08

I'm with Petey on the Bella ad -- it's, uh ... the moon. It looks distant and barren. Eh.

If Annie is the target of someone stalking her, why does she keep putting herself in such vulnerable positions? Tonight she is hanging around on the patio. What next? Strolling around the corner of Front and Locust Streets to get some fresh air? Idiot!

I see (how could anyone MISS it?) that Erica is once again wearing a dress that barely contains here newly purchased boobs -- and the dress isn't even that low-cut. I should probably start to cut her some slack, though -- if I looked like her and had breasts that looked like that, I'd probably be flaunting them, too. Still, they are excellent fodder for us for the time being, so that's the only slack she's going to get for a while -- after all, SHE's certainly tightened up on any hint of slack ;-)

If fever is one of the symptoms of Blast, is Emma having an allergic reaction to the perfume? It would make sense that there would be some at Kendall's house, even though Kendall belittles it at every turn.

Was anyone else creeped out by the really dark, really fast clouds that kept traveling across the view of the moon? It made me think of the movie The Ten Commandments and the curse that killed all the firstborn in the land. Ick!

Robin "at the very least, something is probably on fire" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 8/27/08

Sorry for the late posts -- I changed my Google password to be easier and I couldn't get back in until a few minutes ago -- I DID post Boogie Chillens for 8/27-29/08 on USENET and on my website.


Kendall complains to Zach that she didn't sleep all night and, once again, she is stuck in the middle of all the drama and she has no idea what to do. How about TAKE YOURSELF ***OUT*** OF ALL THE F**KING DRAMA!!!! It's only consuming her because she won't butt out and mind her own business!

Nice advertising for the Working Girl line -- ugly cogs in a wheel (made up of makeup or perfume bottles. Just what I want to feel like when I use Fusion products. It's kind of ironic coming from a couple of people who feel like working drones who "don't get no respect".

Why are the writers on the show so stuck on risotto? Did one of TPTB invest in rice futures?

There's been some talk about Erica's newly purchased breasts which are more than a little round and high for someone who is (in real life) 61 years old. In case you haven't seen them yet, here they are:

She had them done a few years ago, too, before her "Desiree" (the shortest, oldest showgirl in Las Vegas) period but they weren't as large or high. They also weren't well done, IMO. Well, maybe they WERE well done, but due to her age and extreme thinness, they were very obvious and shifted too easily. Now they'll probably stay in place because they simply have nowhere else to go for a while.

I'd say getting unrealistic implants were in keeping with Erica's personality, but they AREN'T. If they were, she would have gotten them done very high and full a LOOOONG time ago. Then again, it's really only in the last 5-10 years that you see women with obvious implants everywhere you go (really, I'm astounded every time I go grocery shopping), particularly with the younger crowd. So maybe it IS in keeping with Erica's personality -- she DOES want to be fashionable, after all.

I guess these are part of her post-prison New Beginnings. They're new, all right -- they probably have "July 2008" stamped on them right next to the serial numbers.

Robin "she & her new knockers look FABULOUS for 61, but come ON" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 8/25/08

Jackson brings Erica some files on Carmen's case. WTF? What lawyer shares legal papers about a client with someone who is NOT part of the case and doesn't work for him? Why didn't he just say he had legal papers about ERICA'S case? I did LOVE it when he threw Erica's words back in her face about Carmen being with a LOT of men -- he asked her what makes Carmen any different than Erica in that department -- BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

I think it's hilarious that Erica put on a sex-kitten, eat-your-heart-out-you-can't-have-THIS-anymore bustier to greet Jackson when he brought the papers over :-) All the better to showcase her recently enhanced set of breasts. That prison food has done wonders for her figure! Well, that and a corset that's so tight I'm amazed she can even BREATHE.

Well, those are nice, drab I'm-running-away-with-a-fugitive clothes Cassandra has on. Oh yeah, she'll blend. Nothing says "incognito" like banana-peel yellow dress that barely covers her breasts and is starkly contrasted on milk-chocolate brown skin (don't get me wrong, I LOVE the combo normally), and shoulder blades that stick out so far that they look like budding breasts sprouting out of her back.

Oooh, that red dress is NOT Carmen's friend.

Cassandra will miss Angie. Angie will miss Cassandra. That's nice. I, OTOH, won't miss Cassandra's continual whining for a second. It was rare that she ever got through a single scene without whining.

Robin "the chalkboard flies back to Paris, nails neatly packed in her overhead bag" Coutellier