Tuesday, September 29, 2009

BC - Tue, 9/29/09

Oh please -- who has a VCR or DVR nowadays that makes backwards chipmonk noises when rewound during play? Just Jake, apparently.

Why couldn't Amanda walk in from the car on her own? It's not like she was out cold -- otherwise she wouldn't be holding herself in such a stiffly obvious pose, she'd just be limply dangling in David's arms.

The scene changes from Amanda prettily waking up to Kendall furiously pounding on the door to be let out of her cel--er--room. I didn't realize that it was a such a relief not to see Kendall yesterday, in all her shining stupidity, distracted as I was marveling at the stupidity of holding a last-minute marathon in a cramped, tacky office. It may be morning, but Kendall doesn't know if someone else might be out there, so pounding on the door and yelling is foolhardy, at best, although not nearly as stupid as invisibly leaving her child with the neighbors and showing up at a televised marathon to spy on her husband.

David tells Trevor that he (and Amanda) are going to teach Trevor how to be a good man and how to love. Well, AMANDA might do that -- I have a tough time seeing DAVID do that. Meanwhile, Amanda falls for soap trick #5: a despicable man is nice (or worse, tender) to a child/infant in view of a woman and the woman melts, canceling out every heinous thing the man has ever done not only in his life, but TO that specific woman. Amanda's such a SAP! Oh wait, she didn't fall for it. Well, THAT'S refreshing ... OFGS, it looks like she DID fall for it by the time morning rolled around.

Sooo, Aidan DID obtain Ian from the neighbors? A strange foreigner who speaks halting English shows up and says he's there to pick up the rich and famous baby and they, apparently, just hand him over. They also apparently never questioned why the invisible babysitter rushed out and left Ian alone until they could mosey on over to take care of him. Frankly, I would think a call to CPS by the neighbors is warranted.

Angie wonders where she left her purse. Excuse me? A "big" event like that and she just sets her purse down somewhere? This wasn't a BBQ at her friend's house -- it was a televised event with camerapeople, reporters, psychotic and deceitful people like Annie and Madison, deceitful-in-the-extreme, mustache-twirling people like David and Adam and just plain strangers. I hope the only thing she had in her purse was lipstick, because that may be the only thing LEFT in her purse by now.

Krystal is looking very good. She's lost some weight and possibly had some work done. Good for you, Girl -- it's workin' for ya!

Why did Natalia haul a police manual in her purse with her to the marathon? I guess she wanted a little light reading for her break times. Did Angie have a copy of Grey's Anatomy in HER bag? Too late -- it's probably already listed on eBay.

If Kendall gets a new trial (or rather A trial, since she pled guilty without one), how are they planning to swap out her and the impersonator in her jail cell? For that matter, if they CAN'T get Kendall legally freed, how long is her impersonator supposed to sit in the cell pretending to be Kendall?

Ryan tells Erica that he has always thought of the two of them as equal. Really? How about when she was going to be your mother-in-law? What about when she was going to be your stepmother? Never thought of her THAT way? What about Spike? Is he supposed to refer to Erica as Mommy Erica? Not that he knows her as a grandmother, in any case, but this situation is just stomach-turning.

Did Erica and Ryan actually HAVE sex yet. It seemed like they got together to talk about it (after being interrupted), but it's not clear if they took up where they left off or if they just continued rubbing and slobbering all over each other without consummating the act. I suspect they didn't and we'll still see a scene where they at least find a BED to do it in. Grandma might be in great shape for her age, but doing it on tables, desks, floors or rocks could result in broken bones. If they DID have sex, did they use a condom?

If they carry out this ridiculous Ryan/Erica pairing, would they have Erica get pregnant? We all know Susan Lucci is in her 60s, but Erica, having finally given up the ghost on staying 35, will probably only admit to 45 or 50, so it's a possibility. Maybe THAT's how they'll end the show once and for all after it gets canceled, which can't be far behind after AMC moves to CA and the main cast players stay in NY. Erica gets pregnant and she dies in childbirth (if Kendall, Annie or a resurrected Greenlee don't kill her first). Greenlee may show up again and take Ryan back from Erica. Emma and Spike, meanwhile decide to join forces for a family Thanksgiving dinner that NO ONE will ever forget.

What is Natalia's problem with Brot? She had to be taught how to get the upper hand on a suspect by RANDI, so why does she think it will be SOOOO hard for Brot, a war veteran, to pass a test to get into the academy? SHE passed it and she had NO experience in any form of Security work or traning, whatsoever.

Robin "maybe this means Brot will stay with the show after the move (good!)" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 9/28/09

Would you want Angie treating you at PVH after she spent all night at a dance marathon?

Where did the nanny go? Amanda handed Trevor off to Krystal to watch.

Did anyone else get whiplashed by two pop-culture evocations from Erica, one after the other? First Erica tells Ryan that the LAST thing she wants to hear from him are the words "I'm sorry" (Love Story - "Love means never having to say you're sorry"), followed by telling him that she doesn't want him changing for her because she likes him just the way he is (Billy Joel - "Just the Way You Are"). Then I noticed that Erica's dance couple number is 10. Is that their not-so-subtle way of labeling her as a 10 (yet another pop-culture reference, ala the movie "10").

Whose bright idea was it to drop all that confetti fall in the OFFICE? Who's going to clean THAT up? The (invisible) people in the office are going to be picking confetti out of crevices for WEEKS.

Speaking of crevices, Ryan and Erica are in the process of getting it on in her office. EWWWWWWWW!!! He's the father of her GRANDSON and on-and-off lover of her DAUGHTER and the presumed SON of the man she was going to marry (Chris Stamp)! Either way, Ryan would have been referring to her as "Mom" in one form or another. And now they are ripping their clothes off with each other, swapping spit and grinding pelvises, among other things. EWWWWWWWWW!!! Surprisingly, the age difference didn't bother me THAT much (okay SOME, but not as much as I thought it might), but the squick factor of the near incest connections skeeves me out PLENTY! Let's break it down, shall we?
Erica is the biological mother of Kendall, Bianca and Josh. Erica was formerly engaged to the late Chris Stamp, who was presumed for a while to be Ryan's biological father. Erica was temporarily married to Jack, her long-term on-again/off-again lover. Jack is Greenlee's biological father. Josh and Greenlee had hooked up on occasion. Greenlee was married to Ryan and was Kendall's best friend (and occasional enemy). Kendall was driving on the wrong side of the road, forcing Greenlee to lose control of a motorcycle and to disappear over a cliff; she was presumably killed in the process. Kendall and Ryan then started hooking up (yet AGAIN) before Greenlee even had time to decompose. Kendall is mother to Spike and Ian. Ryan is Spike's biological father and stepfather to Ian. Ryan is also the biological father of Emma and was formerly married to Emma's crazy, homicidal mother, Annie. Annie, Kendall, Greenlee, Adam and Ryan have all worked at Fusion in various capacities. Annie (aka InSannie) is now engaged to Adam, who has twice been married to Erica. Adam will become Emma's stepfather when/if he and Annie get married. Somewhere in all of this is a novelty song waiting to happen (along the lines of "I'm My Own Grandpa").
Robin "let me reiterate: EWWWWWWWWW!!!" Coutellier

Thursday, September 24, 2009

BC - Wed, 9/23/09

Are we really supposed to believe that Erica can win in a physical fight with Annie? Annie, the psychopath who bludgeons and stabs people (including Erica) and previously tried to choke Erica with her bare hands? The Annie that repeatedly escapes from mental institutions? The Annie that is at least 20 lbs heavier and 30 or so years younger than Erica? THAT Annie? Erica grabs her and spins her around and Annie just shuffles and shrieks and gets thrown?

That crying act of Jake's (not to mention hitting on the nanny), is PATHETIC! How stupid IS that nanny not to see through it in a SECOND? She may not know what his motive is, but his intense interest in the baby and his attempts to flatter her and win her sympathy should be ringing alarm bells for even the most dense nanny/babysitter.

Robin "how long is the dance marathon going to go on torturing us?" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 9/22/09

Why are all the men on the show so gaga over Annie's body? I mean, it's nice, but I don't consider it to be traffic-stopping. I consider AMANDA'S body to be traffic-stopping, but not Annie's. Therefore, it falls flat to me when the guys on the show keep making schoolboy comments about what a fantastic body she has. Eh.

For someone who is supposed to be guarding the dancing house arrestee, Natalia isn't paying much attention to her.

Zach tells Aidan to take Kendall home. How is Ian going to end up back home? Did the neighbors take him to their place, or are they staying at Zach and Kendall's place. Either way, I would think they would have to wait for ZACH to come home to retrieve him or send the neighbors packing.

Why does Colby continue to hang out with Petey? She constantly belittles him and reminds him that they are just friends. She's rich and passably pretty, too, so you'd think there would be a few other young men wanting to date her. Maybe none of them want to be seen with someone who insists on trying to look like Shirley Temple.

When Kendall and Aidan are back in the little cell/room, it is explained that Aidan distracted the neighbors so that they could sneak in. So now I'm back to the question of where, exactly, ARE the neighbors? If Aidan distracted them, they must be in the Slater house. If they were in their own home with Ian, why would he need to distract them? So if they are in the Slater house, how is it that they don't hear Aidan opening the door to the secret room (that is so conveniently located on the other side of the fireplace from the living room) or hear Kendall yelling at him for walking out with the TV?

Does Kendall have cable TV and wireless internet in her room? How did Aidan manage to disconnect the TV from the cable and DVD player so quickly, not to mention unplug the TV and wrap the cord around it before Kendall realized what he was doing?

Robin "is Kendall posting on Facebook?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 9/21/09

Why would ANYONE tune in to watch that lame marathon? It's BORING. REALLY boring. The dancing is boring. The MC (Tad) is boring, even the titles they put on the screen (like the one about Zach & Liza being the "Sexiest Couple") are BORING. Watching people waiting to go through a turnstile in the subway would be more interesting.

Randi assaults Taylor to the point where Taylor is knocked unconscious. Randi's behavior is explained by saying she's a little stressed out and needs to eat. WTF??? Angie, Frankie and Jesse KNOW that Randi is hallucinating. No one thinks this is BEYOND the pale behavior for someone and that the situation might require something a little more helpful than cuddles, snacks and designer water (and didn't they already feed her once for a similar reason)? BTW, how did Taylor end up lying on the floor of a bathroom stall when she was standing over near the mirror area when Randi swung her purse at her).

After all that, Randi is raring to back out on the dance floor. Again, WTF? If I KNEW I was hallucinating, that ALONE would have me freaked out and had me desperately wanting to be home or at least away from other people. Know that I ASSAULTED someone while hallucinating would further freak me out, because I would DEVASTATED that I had done something like that to someone, not to mention a) worrying about the condition of the person and what they would think of me for doing that, b) worrying about being sued and/or arrested, and c) wondering what was going to happen next. Was I going to go apeshit crazy and not even remember it or remember things wrong? Was my head going to explode? Would I pass out or, at the very least, tell deep dark secrets since I wasn't thinking straight and wasn't as inhibited as usual? And then there's the matter of the possibility of losing control of bodily functions. If I can't believe what my eyes are telling me, can I believe that I DON'T have to pee or that I think I'm holding it and I'm NOT? I'm pretty sure that dancing and/or listlessly shuffling around really wouldn't be at the top of my list of things to do at that particular moment.

A former hooker who doesn't know how to do the twist? Yeah, RIGHT. And they WIN the Twist contest? That is just plain absurd.

And now Kendall is lurking in a doorway at Fusion because she saw Liza and Zach kissing on TV. OH PUH-LEEZE! Kendall DEFINITELY falls into the category of TOO STUPID TO LIVE. Who's watching Ian NOW? Oh, the neighbors. Kendall called them, pretending to be Rachel and having an emergency. Apparently "Rachel" couldn't hang around long enough for the neighbors to actually GET there before taking off.

Robin "And now Aidan's back to liven things up with his scintillating performances" Coutellier

Monday, September 21, 2009

BC - Fri, 9/18/09

Given her history and given the disastrous history of the roof on top of the Fusion building, why would the police let Annie go to the terrace to get some fresh air?

And why is the railing so low on the terrace? It only goes up to Annie's upper mid-thigh. It also doesn't reach the ledge, which can be clearly seen in the foreground. What's the point of putting a railing a foot or two back from edge of the roof? In fact, it is only a short (lengthwise) railing, at that. Then Annie sits ON the ledge. What is the purpose of it, other than to get in the way and CAUSE someone to trip over it? The railing doesn't even reach the end of the what couch behind them. And who the hell puts a WHITE couch up on a dirty rooftop?

Adam to Zach: "Unlike some men, I don't really feel like putting my woman on a leash." OH PUH-LEEZE! That's about the ONLY way he can hold onto one once they wise up!

How did Randi get the drop on "I-can-and-have-killed-a-man-with-my-bare-hands" Taylor? Or was that Madison's doing?

Robin "I'm guessing it's the latter" Coutellier

Friday, September 18, 2009

BC - Thu, 9/17/09

David looks like he's just staying in one spot and alternately bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. Of course, my ex-husband just stood in one spot and appeared to be jogging in place on one of the few (possibly only) times we danced, so maybe that's just a guy thing. David, however, is a suave guy when it comes to social things like that (other than his obnoxious personality), so that doesn't ring true.

Someone said the dancing couples were supposed to keep touching. If that's the case, several couples should be disqualified fairly quickly because I saw LOTS of disconnects and downright separately dancing couples.

Robin "Miss Robin's Dance Studio & Bait Shop" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 9/16/09

Why are so many people bringing BABIES and CHILDREN to a dance marathon?

Why is Jake manning the phones while wearing scrubs?

Why is the other guy with the exceptionally bulging muscles manning the phones instead of out dancing where he can put those muscles to use?

Did Zach leave Ian in the care of just Kendall? What if something happens and she has to take Ian (you know, the baby with the heart problem) to the hospital?

It's bad enough that they let Annie stay out on house arrest, but why on EARTH would she be allowed to go out to a dance marathon, given her FREQUENT escape attempts (and successes)?

I thought it was HILARIOUS when, after Erica snarkily told Annie that she needs a thicker foundation to cover those scales, Annie worriedly looks in the mirror -- LOL!

Robin "the viper and the hisser-- maybe Adam & Annie ARE a good couple" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 9/15/09

Let me get this straight -- Erica is going to have a dance marathon so that people will donate $1M to the starving children in Africa, but the dance is going to be held in the OFFICE at FUSION? WTF? Who wants to watch THAT? I'm sure the PV High School auditorium would be available and the Booster Club would be more than willing to throw in some Kleenex flowers as decorations. What about ConFusion? They have a perfectly good bar downstairs for something like that. I'm also annoyed that they keep throwing in cutesy stuff about dancing as in-jokes about Susan Lucci and Cameran Mathison on DWTS. Give it a rest, already!

And if Erica REALLY wanted to raise a lot of money, she could use her celebrity to get CELEBRITY dancers, or at least INTERESTING ones. She could also have a big, crowded room so that there are more dancers. Why did it have to be thrown together in the space of a day? Not only does no one have enough time to prepare, but there's not NEARLY enough time to advertise for it in order to get sponsors.

Why can't Kendall eavesdrop via the baby monitor? She keeps coming out of her room to do that when it isn't really necessary (although she can SEE by sneaking out).

Robin "time for Zach to build a different "safe" room -- with a MOAT around it" Coutellier

Thursday, September 17, 2009

BC - Mon, 9/14/09

If Randi hasn't had her morning coffee yet, WTF is she doing in a bar? Oh wait, I guess she DOES work upstairs. Okay, I'll cut her some slack, THIS time. But will she go to work? Of course not.

My sister pointed out that Spike's speech pattern (when he told Kendall to come out and play) sounds a lot like someone who might be hearing impaired. I have to agree. I think that, at least THAT triplet, probably IS hearing impaired.

As for Kendall, I really think Zach should SERIOUSLY consider putting ankle restraints on her to keep her in her fucking room -- I doubt she spends more than a couple of minutes a day in it other than when she's sleeping, and she walks out to eavesdrop virtually EVERY time someone comes over. She's like a cat, except that cats have the potential to actually LEARN not to do something. Maybe Zach should start running the vacuum cleaner to make her skedaddle back to her room.

Kendall tells Spike he has to gone downstairs because Liza is going to lose his brother -- look how Liza keeps losing Spike! What a BITCH! As if Spike isn't traumatized enough by the events in his life, now he has to worry that Liza is going to lose his little brother, who had already disappeared from Spike's life for an extended period relatively recently.

Oh, I guess we can rule out EMMA shooting Stuart, unless she AND someone else fired shots, which is more than a little possible, of course.

Annie reassures Emma that what happened with the gun was just an accident, just like when Emma accidentally broke the Christmas Angel -- she didn't get in trouble because it was an accident. Well, maybe so, but Emma never gets into trouble ANYWAY. The most she ever gets is a 2-line lecture given with hugs and smiles and reassurances. That kid rarely, if EVER, hears the word "NO!"

Robin "is she going to grow up to be Amy Fisher?" Coutellier

Sunday, September 13, 2009

BC - Thu, 9/10/09

Once again Emma does whatever the hell she wants, leaving the penthouse on her own and riding her bike to Zach's house, and Ryan simply tells her that she scared him and she should not be doing things like that. Now she's upstairs with Spike and Corinna. How about GROUNDING the wayward little brat or, at the very least, giving her a LONG time-out?

Are we supposed to believe that David does NOT have cameras and microphones hidden all over the house or, at the very least, at the door and approach to the castle?

Annie admits to Scott that Ryan has a valid reason to suspect that she kidnapped Emma -- after all, she DID kidnap her once before. Once? I think she's kidnapped her at LEAST 3 times now.

Robin "Annie practically has Emma tethered on a bungee cord" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 9/9/09

Okay, I know it was just the chair scraping, but when Frankie stumbled out of his chair at the casino, the chair sounded like quite a drawn out fart, and given his drunken facial expression, it certainly FIT

Kendall is exasperated because Zach won't forgive her for sleeping with Ryan. She confronts him about it, yet again, and says she can't take it back and they need to move on. Haven't I heard this refrain before? Oh yeah, she had sex with Aidan, too, and not that long ago. How many times is Zach going to have to hear Kendall say, "I'm SORRY, I can't take it back that I had sex with _____ ... and ______ ... and _____ ... But you know it's YOU I really love!"

Doesn't Kendall have to take steroids to prevent rejection of her heart transplant? Why hasn't she blown up like a puffer fish? I'm not sure how far along Alicia Minshew is in her pregnancy, but she is just BARELY showing.

Scott brushes off Annie's depressing admission that she's the cause of Emma's tears and anguish. Scott: "You made mistakes." Uh, yeah, just a FEW.

Okay, now THAT was a good slap that Angie gave Madison. Up close and personal and it was quite believable, unlike most soap slaps.

Robin "why aren't any PV citizens ever slapped with assault charges after slapping someone?" Coutellier

Thursday, September 10, 2009

BC - Tue, 9/8/09

Why is there an entrance from the pool directly into the living room/parlour? Don't they have a separate entrance for that? My Mom would have had a FIT if we had come dripping into the living room, and she would have sent us right back outside until we dried off. She may or may not have thrown some towels out the door to us.

Why is Scott tickling Annie? Obviously he has NO sense of boundaries. Not that it isn't exactly what Annie wanted, but she IS about to become his step-aunt. Their constant frolicking right under Adam's nose is all QUITE contrived and tiresome.

Based on the applause (or lack thereof), that's a mighty skimpy audience for the live taping of New Beginnings.

Robin "couldn't they muster up some fake applause to supplement the 3-4 people who clapped?" Coutellier

Saturday, September 5, 2009

BC - Fri, 9/4/09

Why is Adam wearing sunglasses in the house? Did anyone else note the coincidence of him having to say the line: "These past few months have been the darkest in my life," while wearing sunglasses in the living room?

That is an UGLY wedding dress! Of course, the fact that WE saw it before the wedding means it was never going to be a possibility, in any case. It's the law.

Is Kendall wearing stuff that needs to be dry-cleaned? Will anyone notice that dry-cleaning and just plain old laundry is being done for Kendall's stuff? Is she wearing perfume? Won't anyone smell it in the house?

Robin "unanswered questions" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 9/3/09

Another gun. Yeah, THAT'll solve everything. Sigh ...

Given how often he gets into other people's places, you'd think David would at least think to lock his OWN front door.

After everything they've gone through in the last couple of days, why would Amanda choose to wear such an incredibly low-cut (not to mention skin-tight) top? I mean, what are her thought processes when she gets dressed in the morning? "Mybabymybabymybaby, deodorant, mybaby, panties, mybabymybaby, pants, mybabymybaby, bra, mybaby, which top to wear? A tee-shirt? No, I might have to be in front of a judge. Mybabymybabymybaby! 4" heels, mybaby, perfume, mybaby, this top is good because it doesn't go all the way down to my belly button. I might have to meet with judges or social workers, so I should go conservative. Mybabymybaby, earrings, mybaby, bracelet. Damn, these buttons are HARD to fasten!

Robin "anti-fashionista" Coutellier

Thursday, September 3, 2009

BC - Wed, 9-2-09

How did Kendall manage to broker a telephone operator or recording indicating that the call was coming from the prison? Don't they have to have a special recording informing the callee that the call is from a prison? AND Erica knows the drill, having recently done time herself, and she probably is quite familiar with the voice that normally makes the announcement.

Kendall tells Zach that being locked up in that room it feels like it's a PRISON! Uh, DUH! Considering that SHE was the one who insisted on going to a REAL prison, she's being pretty damned ungrateful. And considering how often she comes out of the room at the drop of a hat, QUITE often while other people are visiting, Zach really SHOULD consider chaining her to something in the room. For that matter, he might as well do a Hannibal Lector and put a muzzle over her mouth. Hmmm, maybe she IS better off in prison.

Wow, Liza actually KNOWS the term "conflict of interest"? THAT'S a shocker.

So much for Erica's determination to stay and keep an eye on Zach. She spies lipstick on a glass, he's evasive and tells her she can leave if she doesn't like and ... she does, telling him that she'll send someone over in the morning for her things. WTF? Why would she give up THAT easily?

Robin "grandma takes a hike in a huff" Coutellier

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

BC - Mon, 8/31/09

Erica just DRIPS with disdain over the fact that Zach chose LIZA as an attorney when there are SO many lawyers that are just SOOOO much better than Liza. she just does NOT understand why he would choose HER. This from the woman who insisted that Trevor Dillon represent her in his very FIRST case. She was being tried for murder, I think, or possibly the kidnap of Maddie Gray. Trevor had just passed the bar by reading a few second-hand law books that Natalie picked up for him). Pot, Kettle.

Did anyone else wonder if Liza peed her thong when David was holding the gun on her?

Robin "VI is doing a GREAT job!" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 8/27/09

Obviously Liza gave only MINOR lip service to the concept of attorney/client privilege, given that she's spilling the beans to David about the loan from Adam to Zach with relatively little prodding on his part.

Are they setting little Trevor up to have an emotional detachment disorder? I ask because so far he's bonded with a) the nanny, b) Amanda, c) Taylor, and d) Randi. That's a LOT of Mama figures for such a short time period.

Robin "of course, given all the drama, MOST babies in PV would qualify as future sociopaths" Coutellier