Thursday, July 30, 2009

BC - Wed, 7/29/09

Zach argues with Kendall and says that the boys lost her for months when she was in a coma and they're not going to get through it again. Oh please -- they probably never noticed that she was gone.

Oops! eBabe broke the cardinal rule of defense lawyers -- she asked her client if she actually DID the crime. The defense lawyer's job is to TEST THE EVIDENCE provided by the prosecution. It doesn't MATTER if their client is guilty or innocent -- it only matters if the State can PROVE whether or not their client did it. Liza did vaguely touch on that when she counseled eBabe after the fact, saying that their ONLY job was to get the client off, not to decide guilt or innocence.

eBabe explains to Annie that Liza isn't seeing her because it's a conflict of interest -- she's already representing Kendall. Well, there IS that. There is also the fact that everyone in town was trying to kill HER ex-husband, that she loved Stuart, the murdered man, that her daughter loved her Uncle Stuart, that Liza's MOTHER was married to Stuart, etc., etc. She should not be getting anywhere NEAR this case!

Where is Emma while Ryan ran over to the Slater house to celebrate Annie being in jail? Is she still wandering around the halls of the PVH? Is she home alone? Is she with a sitter. It's nice to see that Ryan has his priorities straight (celebrating as opposed to comforting his traumatized young daughter

Robin "damn, that was a DULL episode" Coutellier

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

BC - Tue, 7/28/09

Ah, so Zach DID shoot to frame Annie. He also shot very low, so maybe it will wise someone up that perhaps EMMA did the shooting. Or maybe he just did it low because Annie was on her knees (the way Adam LIKES it ) so it would make sense for the bullet to enter through a lower angle.

Why can't Ryan get his OWN court order to a) keep Annie, the homicidal maniac who has tried (and succeeded) on NUMEROUS occasions to kidnap her daughter, from seeing and influencing Emma, and b) to keep the D.A. from interrogating a traumatized child in the hospital. Emma needs to be interviewed by a person QUALIFIED to interview her for a criminal case. The stupidity of these people never ceases to amaze me.

Erica tells Kendall that she's not CAPABLE of murder. BULLSHIT! Kendall has come close to murdering people on several occasions. She held a gun on Erica, herself, in a restaurant (under the tablecloth). She took a knife with her to Michael Cambias's house. She replaced his allergy medicine with something else. She even let loose a poisonous VIPER in his condo, FGS! She went to Adam's house to K-I-L-L him. Yeah, so she never SUCCEEDED in killing anyone, but it wasn't lack of TRYING. So she couldn't pull the trigger -- BFD! If the gun had gone off accidentally while she was in the process of brandishing it, and someone ended up dead as a result, she would STILL be liable for murder (just ask Phil Spector; oh wait, he's incommunicado in the slammer at Corcoran now; ask the judge, instead). Kendall is QUITE capable of killing someone. She's practically an out-of-control firehose (which can inflict great damage), just mindlessly spraying mayhem in various directions with no real control. Unlike a firehose, though, SHE has certainly formed the INTENT often enough (and I'm probably forgetting some stuff she's done).

Wow, that's the most emotion I've seen from Jamie Luner since she started playing Liza. Maybe there IS hope for her. She hasn't shown the slightest crack in her facade up until today, and it just hasn't been working. The Liza WE knew had some vulnerabilities and a softness that came through even when she was at her most conniving. Part of that was that we already knew the character and actress (on and off) from the time Liza was a teen, but a great deal of it was also that Marcy Walker PORTRAYED her that way in a very nuanced manner. JL plays Liza as simply cold and mostly emotionless -- not because she has a tight reign on her feelings, but because she HAS no feelings. She's like a one-note character. When she laments her relationship with Colby, she might as well be talking about how unfortunate it is that her favorite server at BJ's is cold to her because she forgot to tip her once. MW's Liza was CONSERVATIVE, but she was not emotionless.

Most of the file cabinets in the INTERROGATION ROOM at the PVPD don't even have locks on them. Why would there even BE file cabinets in an interrogation room, let alone file cabinets without locks? Unless those suckers are anchored to the wall, they can be used as weapons. So can those SHARP edges in the cement pillar

Why is Scott, the son of the man Annie is suspected (by some) of MURDERING, allowed to be in the interrogation room alone with Annie? Even is she's not/wasn't a suspect in killing Stewart, she's now a suspect in trying to kill ADAM, Scott's uncle. And even if there WEREN'T those conflicts of interest, why would he be allowed in there to just keep her company or ask her questions while she's chained to a table awaiting questioning by the police?

What happened with the drunken David waiting around Liza's hotel room with the baby? They COMPLETELY dropped that, unless I missed something.

Liza is wearing a lot of carefully applied eye makeup for a women who hasn't had any sleep or been able to comb her hair for a day due to a fussy baby.

Oh, and now Ryan, Annie's ex-husband who had a large part in driving her over the edge, the man who took her daughter away from her, the man who moved her rival into THEIR penthouse practically the MOMENT she was carted away, the man who has to keep fighting tooth and nail to keep Annie from destroying Emma's life, is allowed into the room, alone, to talk to Annie. They BOTH have reason to hate and try to manipulate and/or harm each other. Does the PVPD have shit for brains? (that's a rhetorical question)

Does Emma ever get bothered by having her hair in her face all the time?

And as my sister, Sharlene, said: Why is Emma STILL in the hospital? If she needs to be hospitalized due to her mental condition, send her to the mental ward or off to Oakhaven instead of taking up time and space in the Emergency Room. And stop leaving her all alone in her room since it's obvious that she's perfectly capable of getting up and walking around on her own, not to mention that any stranger could come into her room and do God knows WHAT to her.

Robin "take her home, put her to bed, and stop enabling her" Coutellier

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

BC - Mon, 7/27/09

Ryan is acting like Emma is catatonic. She doesn't look catatonic to ME. So she pulled a pillow over her head and refused to talk to anyone. BFD! She's obviously depressed and doesn't want to talk to anyone, but that's hardly a reason to take her to the EMERGENCY ROOM. That's not a psychotic break, that's a depressed version of a TANTRUM. Granted, tantrums probably COULD be interpreted as psychotic breaks if you look at them out of context, but they're pretty normal for children (and more than a few adults). I can't WAIT until she's a teenager. If Ryan's solution to a tantrum by a 7-yr-old is to put her in the emergency room, wait until he has to deal with telling her she can't go out dressed like that or that she's grounded.

Don't get me wrong -- Emma IS traumatized by what she saw and/or did, but Ryan is WAAAAAAY overreacting. I don't think I've EVER seen him discipline her. He just talks in a very concerned voice and tries to reason with her about why she shouldn't do whatever it is that she did or that she shouldn't lie. Just once I'd like to hear him say "GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Emma has a LOT of potential for the next SORASED (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome (formerly known as Pine Valley Glandular Disease back in the late 1980s or early 1990s)) hellion, as does Kathy.

BTW, I think Lucy Merriam (Emma) is doing a GREAT job lately!

If Emma is curled up into a ball in a hospital room, WTF is Ryan sitting OUTSIDE the room in the hallway with Erica??? You don't bring your child to the emergency room and then just leave her there alone!!!

I'm glad to see that at least ONE person on the show (Zach) keeps his gun(s) in a SAFE.

Why does Tad keep quipping about TVs? First he makes a big deal about installing a digital converter (even though he undoubtedly has cable and/or satellite, which is already digital), and then jokes about Amanda buying him a flat-screen TV (after she knocks over and breaks Taylor's TV). Why does this bug me? Because I distinctly remember him setting up a complicated digital TV/home theater (did Jamie set it up for him?), so unless that TV broke (which he would, of course, immediately replace with a NEW digital TV), it's all just for show (so to speak).

Didn't Amanda say that the window was open, so she just climbed in to be with the baby? Setting aside for a moment the utter stupidity of that action, why was the window open in the middle of the night? "Close the windows and lock the doors." That's Home Security 101 and most CHILDREN know that rule, so why doesn't the Lieutenant-who-can-kill-(and-HAS-killed)-a-man-with-her-bare-hands know that? Apparently she thinks that closing the blinds is all the security that is necessary, despite the fact that a baby-obsessed asshole is obsessed with finding THAT BABY. I'll give her this, though -- the blinds ARE still closed, even though it's a few hours later, which is more than I expected. If she and Tad decide to have sex, though, the blinds WILL be open -- it's apparently written into the condo Homeowners Association bylaws that the blinds MUST be open if people are going to be having sex.

After everything that's gone down, is Zach going to go shoot someone ELSE so that BOTH he and Kendall end up in prison? And how, exactly, does that work out best for the boys who will be stuck being raised by a a woman who insists that they call her Mama's Mama? I'm sure the inappropriate clothing, stiletto heels, hallucinations and copious perfume will be a comfort to them, though.

Are Taylor and Tad going to let the baby sleep on top of Amanda on the couch all night? That's not exactly a safe situation, either.

Unless he has a degree in child psychology, I don't see how it would be legal for the D.A. to force an interview with a traumatized child. It's not like the information has to be elicited from her RIGHT THAT SECOND, and it should be done by someone who specializes in interviewing children.

Why didn't the alarm go off when Annie went out to the patio to investigate the broken flower-pot?

What is Zach hoping to accomplish by shooting through the patio window/door?

Robin "is he going to plant the gun on Annie & to make it look like she tried to kill Adam?" Coutellier

Monday, July 27, 2009

BC - Fri, 7/24/09

David tells Colby he's going to stick around because the baby seems like he has a low-grade fever. In case the baby gets worse, David wants to make sure he's there to get him to the hospital. He says this as he sloshes quite a bit of wine into a glass. Yeah, that's what *I* want for my baby -- a drunken doctor who refuses to leave when he's not needed or wanted. Colby isn't experienced enough to know how to handle someone who rolls right over her like that, though. BTW, I doubt the baby is sick -- David is just using that as a ruse to be there and say there.

Oops, looks like Adam's security team has done their job for the rest of the summer. They escorted Ryan earlier, but Kendall just walks on up and presses herself up against the windows. The siren, at least, DOES go off when she opens the UNLOCKED patio door. Oh, hey, there's Security NOW; now that someone has actually walked into the house and could have easily murdered at least a couple of people in the meantime.

I LOVED how Annie says that Kendall got away and that the new "crack security team" is turning into a big fat failure. BWAHAHAHAAA! What did she mean "turning INTO"? Still it is SOOO refreshing to see that: a) Adam actually has a working alarm after all this time, and b) twice in one show they've ridiculed how bad the crack security team is. I think CRACK is a required substance for any security personnel within Pine Valley.

Does Kendall REALLY think that she shot Stuart, or is she protecting EMMA, who probably shot Stuart, by taking the fall for her?

Robin "at least she didn't have grief sex over it ... this week" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 7/23/09

Line of the Day:
Adam to security guy who brings Ryan to the door to see Adam: "Well, it's nice to see you boys actually do your job every once in a while." BWAHAHAHAHA!! Of course, just because Ryan INSISTED on seeing Adam, it doesn't mean they had to take him to the door to TELL that to Adam. Is that REALLY doing their job? Who's paying them, Adam or Ryan. If Adam, then Ryan can cool his heels at the gate.

I'm trying to decide who is the worse actress, the one who plays Colby or the one who plays Randi.

Robin "right now, Randi is at the top of my list -- & then some" Coutellier

Friday, July 24, 2009

BC - Wed, 7/22/09

Even if they can't get Kendall for murder, after she desperately tried to browbeat Emma into admitting that Annie actually shot Stuart, they can now get Kendall for tampering with a witness.

How many of you were urging Amanda to just "give him a tit" when the baby was crying and they were trying to keep him quiet so that Liza wouldn't hear him? She was wearing a strapless dress, so it would have been EASY to do. Of course, she would no longer have any milk and the baby would probably cry about THAT, but it could have shut him up for a minute until he figured it out.

When Erica was having a heart-to-heart talk with Emma, was anyone else hoping Emma would sweetly pipe up and say: "I like you! Can I call you GRANDMA?"

Amanda gets upset that Taylor's place isn't babyproofed. Does she REALLY think the baby is going to go straight for the corkscrew at the tender age of about 6 weeks? Not that I would BLAME it for wanting to head for a different kind of bottle, but there's time enough to hide the corkscrew and just set out freely available decanters of the hard stuff (if they aren't set out already).

Why doesn't the condo have a peephole in the door?

Is it my imagination, or does Emma have fairly long legs? I never noticed it until she was stretched out on her bed and then squatted down to filch the cellphone from Erica's purse. She might be relatively tall when she grows up.

How is Taylor supporting herself? I know it's come up on several occasions in on-line discussions. Volunteering to take care of the baby makes it clear she's not doing much of anything with her time, so where is her money coming from? I know Brot was helping her pay the rent when she first moved in.

Robin "perhaps she invested wisely" Coutellier

Thursday, July 23, 2009

BC - Tue, 7/21/09


Why would Jake and Amanda bring the baby to TAD's house? I mean, David walks in there on his own more often than he goes to the bathroom. Why didn't he just put Amanda and the baby up in a hotel somewhere under an assumed name? Or just have Amanda and the baby stay with the nanny (who seems to be quite accommodating, even if she DID totally ignore Jake and Amanda)? They could go bunk with Kelsey or Tara while Jake worked and told people that Amanda went off to grieve with her brother -- ANYTHING other than taking the baby to the one place where David is SURE to pop up uninvited.

Erica tells Ryan that she's been to prison, so she certainly knows what Kendall is facing. Uh, so does Kendall, who also happens to be a convicted felon (perjury landed her at least 2 years in the State pen, where she met JaNut From Another Planet).

When did seagulls start hanging around the Chandler estate? We had seagulls circling the field at my high school in San Jose (we're not REAL far from the SF Bay, but not real close, either), so the fact that seagulls are there is not that big a deal, but today is the first time I've HEARD seagulls (as opposed to the standard bird chirps they usually use). How long before we find out that Adam's boathouse is actually a private dock on the Pennsylvania Ocean?

How much you want to bet that the fact that Kendall was willing to plea to a lesser charge in exchange for a 10-year sentence comes out at trial? It's not SUPPOSED to come out (take the David Westerfield/Danielle Van Dam trial, for instance), but I bet it DOES.

Robin "along with a slew of other inadmissible evidence & testimony" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 7/20/09

Why isn't there a curtain on the door to the balcony from Emma's bedroom? Who knows what kind of pervert might be looking in with binoculars?

Why would the D.A. show up for a simple ankle bracelet issue? Doesn't he have better things to do with his time?

Liza said that after Colby left, one day she looked in the mirror and didn't like the woman looking back at her. I can understand that. I don't like her, either.

Considering that Kendall hasn't actually gone THROUGH with the plea deal yet, it's a major breach of confidentiality for eBabe to go straight to Scott and JAR to tell them that it's in the works. Not that ethics ever stopped anyone in PV.

CHOKE FACTOR: Erica tells Ryan: "With you in her life, how could Emma be ANYTHING but all right?" OH PUH-LEEZE!!!! How many times has Emma been kidnapped already? How many times has Annie managed to break/sneak in and see Emma, no matter how high the security on her? How many times has he shoved her out the door to find her own way to the bus stop? Ryan is a wealthy man. Why doesn't he have a full-time, LIVE-IN nanny who will at least care enough to pick Emma up from school so that Emma doesn't have to sit ALL ALONE AND UNSUPERVISED on a bench waiting for a bus to take her home? Hell, he could pay a DOG-WALKER to at least escort her to and from the bus-stops. Given her genetics AND her environment, how can Emma grow up to be anything BUT extremely disturbed?

The D.A. is willing to cut Annie (a MULTIPLE murderer, kidnapper and all-around psychopath) a deal so that he can take the word of a 7-8-yr-old child about a murder that happened on a dark and stormy night when there were LOTS of people roaming about?

Robin "I'm wondering if some people are right and EMMA was the shooter" Coutellier

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A Port In A Storm, Part III

More reasons why I'm different from and/or it's better to be me than to be a character in Pine Valley (and, yes, there IS more to come):
  • If a sign in a hospital tells me not to use my cellphone near the cardiac wing, I don't use my cellphone near the cardiac wing.
  • I've never put on a hospital gown that had a seam up the back.
  • If I'm ever in a coma or have a broken back or something like that, I would hope they wouldn't prop me up into a sitting position all the time.
  • On the rare occasions I've been in the hospital, no one ever professionally styled my hair, applied flawless makeup, painted my nails, or bent down to close to me to tell me they could kill me at any moment or picked up a pillow to demonstrate the point. At least not while I was awake.
  • If a doctor treating me happened to be a sworn enemy or just a world-class asshole, who has stalked me and should probably be in jail, or just someone I've had sex with, I would request another doctor.
  • If I were to have a secret that was so devastating that it would ruin lives (particularly my OWN life), I wouldn't be yapping about it with other people at every possible opportunity, especially in public places.
  • I would probably not live on a yacht for a variety of reasons; mostly, I wouldn't want to have to deal with the septic tank.
  • I don't hang out alone at city parks in the middle of the night to brood about things or just get some fresh air.
  • I don't have catfights in the ladies room with women old enough to be my mother. I don't have catfights, period.
  • I've never buried someone alive near a park bench in order to get them to cooperate with me.
  • I don't bring home boxes of clothes when I go shopping unless the clothes were pre-packaged in boxes to begin with.
  • In my experience, not EVERY single sexual experience is AMAZING! Sometimes it's just nice or ... okay.
  • When I give someone a gift-wrapped present, they usually have to UNwrap it, not just remove the top of the box, which has been separately gift-wrapped.
  • Speaking of being separately wrapped, I've never gotten out of bed and wrapped a blanket or sheet around me to walk across a room -- a ROBE, maybe, but not a sheet or blanket.
  • I'm pretty sure I haven't had any hallucinations.
Robin "unless THIS is a hallucination" Coutellier

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

BC - Wed-Fri, 7/15-17/09

Why did Liza feel a need to work on a capital murder case on her laptop in the middle of a casino?

Why is Emma waiting all alone on a bench where any strange man (like Henry North) could talk to her or snatch her? That ick factor was CLANGING for me!

Ah, just as I thought -- there IS no deadbolt on Ryan's front door, just a thumb-latch.

Why isn't the door from Emma's room to the balcony locked? Annie just waltzes on in.

Poor Emma should be quite street savvy by now, considering how much she is left alone and neglected.

Why is the nanny for Amanda's baby acting like Jake and Amanda are invisible? You'd think Amanda would be asking her a MILLION questions about every moment of the baby's life since he's been there.

Robin "for instance, when did he start smiling?" Coutellier

Monday, July 20, 2009

BC - Tue, 7/14/09

OMG, What did eBabe do to her HAIR? I suppose it looks nice enough, but it's a shock to see such a drastic change.

eBabe tells a frazzled Colby that she has the magic touch (the baby is crying and Colby is babysitting). Colby relents and lets her in. eBabe picks up the baby, who stops crying. What a novel IDEA! Pick up a baby and it stops crying! Apparently the instructions for that are too complicated for Colby to comprehend or even think of in the first place.

Then Amanda comes by to see Liza (who is not there). Amanda asks if she can hold the baby. Colby tells her: "I actually had to put the baby down." YIKES! I suppose that IS one way to get it to stop crying, but it's a little drastic, even for someone as airheaded as Colby.

Tad tells Taylor that the bullet to his head changed something -- it's like it blew away all the garbage that had been weighing him down. It blew away the head writer, Chuck Pratt?

Robin "let's hope it blew him all the way to a deserted island" Coutellier

A Port In A Storm, Part II

Well, it doesn't look like I'll be able to watch the show tonight, either, despite my best intentions, so here are some more reasons why I'm different from and/or it's better to be me than to be a character in Pine Valley:
  • I ALWAYS say good-bye when I'm about to hang up the phone (unless it's a telemarketer). I don't just hang up when I'm done talking.
  • I'm pretty sure I've never murdered anyone and then forgotten about it. Of course, that doesn't mean I DIDN'T do it and I just don't remember it. There's only just so much room in my brain, after all.
  • If I were ever planning to ask someone to marry me, I would put it in the form of a question, not a DEMAND.
  • I don't feel a need to marry someone just to stick it to someone else.
  • I don't yank people around to get them to listen to me. I'm amazed no one in PV has yet to end up with a sprained elbow or dislocated shoulder due to that kind of behavior.
  • I've never dumped a 6', 180 lb man down a laundry chute in a Victorian house after knocking him out with a small hand mirror.
  • I don't constantly stand up, sit down, turn around and walk away, turn around, walk back, say a couple of words, turn my back on the other person, and then repeat the process when I'm talking to someone who is standing right there.
  • I don't have super-sonic hearing that allows me to eavesdrop on conversations in crowded bars or any other crowded room. I have enough trouble hearing what people are saying on TV without be blasted out of my chair when music suddenly starts playing.
  • I don't mischievously jump into a pond or an ocean in the middle of a winter in Pennsylvania.
  • I've never stabbed anyone, although I did once accidentally puncture my hand with an X-acto knife when I was 19.
  • I've never jumped, fallen or been pushed out of an airplane over the British Channel, only to wash up 20 minutes later on a beach in Pennsylvania. Or anywhere else.
  • I've never woken up to find myself pinned against a wall in a cave by a wall of big rocks.
  • I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as the Pennsylvania Ocean, since Pennsylvania is a landlocked commonwealth.
  • I've never been struck by lightning.
  • I've never confused a doll for a real baby except for props on TV or from a distance.
  • I've never had sex on a casino gaming table. I did get a REALLY sore tailbone from having sex on the edge of a cheap couch once, though. Really, try explaining THAT one to the doctor.
  • I've never seen an isolated cabin in the woods up in the mountains gradually tiptoe down from the mountain-top to the point where it is then located in the middle of town.
  • I've never concocted a nefarious drug and fed it to anyone, let alone an entire town.
  • If an enemy or even potential enemy kept popping up in my house, I would call 911 AND file a restraining order. I'd also keep pepper spray, a letter opener, a baseball bat and a hammer handy. At the very LEAST I'd squirt the person with my sport-top water bottle.
  • I don't leave expensive things just sitting around outside while I go sailing.
  • If I had ambitions to become a doctor or lawyer, I'm pretty sure I'd have to go to school for several years and work my way up the ladder after that.
  • I don't throw other people's cellphones away just to get their attention.
  • I don't have something new to wear every day of my life.
  • I am not emaciated nor do I have breast implants that look like coconuts glued to my chest. If I DID look like that, I'm pretty sure someone would notice it and look askance.
  • If I were to get a shot, stabbed, sliced open or burned, I would have a scar.
  • No one has ever knocked ME out, other than an anesthesiologist, and that cost me big bucks.
  • Speaking of big bucks, most people I meet are NOT rich. Especially ME. Yet???
  • I don't faint at the slightest upset or bump on the head.
  • If I thought I might be pregnant with a baby other than that of my S.O.'s, and I didn't want anyone else to know, I would not be pulling a pregnancy test out of my purse to stare at and wave it around 50 times a day. It would STAY out of sight until I had a chance to pee on it. In private.
  • I don't use a transporter device to get me from one place to the other.
  • If I ever WERE planning to shoot someone, I would not be constantly pulling the gun out before the event in order to caress it.
  • I don't slap people when I get mad at them. I HAVE been known to give the finger to other drivers when I know they can't see me or at least they can't see the finger.
  • I know that if I'm ever put on trial for something, the trial probably won't commence in the next week or two, let alone tomorrow.
  • I know that I would not be able to pull together a lavish wedding or party within a day or two.
  • If I were ever to knock someone out who was trying to kill me, I would tie them up, escape , or both; I would NOT hang around doing other things when they could come to at any moment. (Contrary to what the soaps may show, most people don't stay knocked out for very long at ALL unless there is a SERIOUS injury involved.)
  • If I need to get hold of someone in a hurry, I usually call them. I don't waste time getting in my car and driving across town or into other towns unless I can't reach them any other way.
  • After the first 4-5 marriages didn't work out, I would probably decide I'm better off alone.
Robin "still storm-tossed" Coutellier

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Pine Valley - A Port In A Storm

I AM still here! I've had an eventful week, but hope to catch up on AMC this weekend.

Over the years I've had good times and bad times and through it all I've had All My Children. No matter how stressed I might be in my life, and no matter how many questionable or just plain BAD decisions I've made, at least I'm not as stupid, impractical, rude, vain, crazy, and ridiculous as the denizens of Pine Valley. I can always escape to Pine Valley for 39 minutes and feel superior to it's fictional inhabitants.

For instance:
  • If someone tried to murder me, steal my husband, set my house on fire, rape me, push me off a rooftop, poison me, kidnap my baby, steal my money, key my car, get me fired, stalk me, fake being dead to see how I would react, get me hooked on alcohol or drugs, cheat on me, kidnap me, blow up my car, hold me at gunpoint, steal my family heirlooms, actually shoot me, destroy my reputation, put sugar in my gas tank, hurt my child in any way, break into my house, sell my baby, marry someone else while still married to me, tie me to a chair so they can talk to me, set me up for a murder rap, put a bag of flaming poop on my doorstep, plant bugs and other surveillance equipment around my house, blow up my house, try to gaslight me and then have me put in an insane asylum, taunt me at the lowest point in life, raise my baby as their own, and let me think mine was dead, teargas me, destroy my marriage, pull in front of me on the freeway and then slam their brakes on, try to steal my company, fight me for sole custody of my child or swap DNA tests, or just let the air out of my tires, I probably wouldn't still be friends with them, even after a couple of years have gone by,and I certainly wouldn't MARRY them ... AGAIN. Call me unforgiving, but I've been known to hold a grudge on occasion.
  • I'm pretty sure I don't have any children that I don't already know about.
  • I did NOT still carry my son around after he was 3+ years old unless he NEEDED to be temporarily picked up.
  • I don't have any judges in my pocket, and the policemen in my town are generally pretty competent and professional from what I've observed.
  • I don't set fires or set off overhead sprinklers and/or fire alarms as diversions. My diversionary tactics mostly consist of encouraging a small child to sing his or her ABC's or to look at something else to distract them or get them to stop crying.
  • I don't try to make myself look EXACTLY like someone else and then try to take over their life after throwing that person down a well. Especially if that person is much taller or shorter than me.
  • If I were running a multi-national conglomerate, I would probably show up at work occasionally, and I wouldn't hold meetings, give press conferences, set up glamorous photo shoots, launch products or give parties all in the same shabby common office area.
  • I've never held a gun on anyone.
  • If I ever have a grandchild, I WILL be called Grandma.
  • I wouldn't make a 19-year-old who didn't even graduate from high school a CEO or President in one of my corporations.
  • I've never poisoned anyone's rice pudding.
  • I sure as hell wouldn't be blindly yanking my door open to every single knock or ring, ESPECIALLY after my family members or I have been kidnapped, robbed and/or assaulted more often than then the ice cream truck goes by.
There's lots more, but I'll save that for another day.

Robin "storm-tossed" Coutellier

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tidbit About Ryan's Camel Toe On 7/13/09

I was informed by Mart on R.A.T.S.A. that the male version of a camel toe is called a Moose Knuckle. Thank you, Mart!

The things you learn on the internet!

BC - Mon, 7/13/09

Liza tells Krystal to tell David that if he gets anywhere NEAR her baby, she'll file an injunction against him. Yeah, that'll stop him.

Hmmm, looks like the suggestion I heard was right (was it on RATSA or the Pine Valley Podcast comments?). Jake just offered up a solution of doing a DNA test on the baby to prove it is not Jake's. Amanda doesn't recognize Liza's baby as HER baby. Ergo, that baby is NOT Amanda's baby, and her baby IS somewhere else. Either that or Jake is going to take Krystal's cue and doctor the DNA test. I really hope we don't see HIM leaving the lab tech's office while wiping off his mouth as the tech pulls his pants up in the background. Of course, Jake has also had more than one mysterious phone call in which he seems to be referring to the care of a baby, but it's ambiguous.

I just LOVE how David Canary portrays Adam as always HISSING like a snake. He says: "Well, it's not too far-fetched if you put Zach Slater in the mixssssssssssssssss." He doesn't ALWAYS do it, because that would be overkill. It's like he just throws them out there just to remind us every now and then. LOL!

Is Annie allowed to leave the house unless it's on the grounds? I thought house arrest meant you couldn't go more than a few feet from the house. I know nothing about ankle bracelets used to track arrestees -- do they have to take reasonable precautions not to get it wet (like covering it up for showering)? If so, going into a pool could be problematic. Then again, they wouldn't be very effective if that's all it took. FF to later in the show and I was right about the first part -- the pool IS out-of-bounds for house arrest.

How is Colby planning to feed the baby, considering there's nothing IN the bottle? I can see where she might have gone to fill the bottle and THEN taken the baby from Liza, but it's kind of stupid to try to fill the bottle while holding the baby. And then a few seconds later she comes BACK with the crying baby. I'm assuming he's crying because he STILL hasn't been fed. He gets fed and burped (and possibly diapered) even faster than Randi takes a shower!

Liza can't be Kendall's lawyer. She a) recently slept with Kendall's husband, and b) more importantly, she is ANNIE'S attorney. Annie was also at the mansion that night and is a witness, if not a suspect. Also (on Annie's behalf) Liza is retained by Adam Chandler, whose brother was murdered and who was, himself, the original target. There's a HUGE conflict of interest there, and no court would ever, EVER allow that!

YOWZA! Ryan's sporting quite a man's camel-toe there! When he picked up the bag of whatever it was in the living room the camera slowly panned up from the floor. WTH? Is he wearing some kind of Wonder Thong? Do we really need to see THAT? He looked kind of smug, too, although that's not an unusual expression for Ryan. Here's a screenshot of his camel toe:

How did Adam get up to the Fusion office without taking the elevator that Kendall just used to descend from the office? And if Annie is being grilled by Jesse, why is Adam over at Fusion blasting Erica? Shouldn't he be hovering outside the doors to the living room so he can be there to escort Jesse out when he's done while he huffs, harumphs and hisses? And how did he get all the way to Fusion from the living room while Annie is still standing there talking to Jesse?

Robin "same timewarp, different day" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 7/10/09

Madison tells Zach to come and: "I HAVE something that I think you'll find very INteresting." Was I the only one who thought that the way she said it was a TOTALLY soapy moment? I could easily see that line being said just that way when the two soap characters appear on Craig Ferguson's show.

Are we supposed to believe that Erica and Ryan are too stupid to get out of the sprinklers fast enough AFTER picking up their phones? I mean, REALLY, how wet could they have gotten? Did they REALLY get so soaked that they both needed to completely remove their clothes? They were SPRINKLERS, not opened fire hydrants! Sheesh! And why did they go all the way back to Ryan's place to dry out when Erica has a room right THERE at the Yacht Club? (that's a rhetorical question, as most of my questions ARE)

And speaking of deliberately leaving the phones on the lawn, who DOES that? It's one thing to set them down while you're still THERE, but they went out on a sailboat. ANYONE could have stolen their phones. Considering that they are both Titans Of Industry, you'd think there would be some valuable information on those phones. The phones, themselves were probably expensive, but that wouldn't mean anything to the two TOI. Things like Warren Buffet's private phone number, and God knows what kind of photos, OTOH, could mean quite a bit.

On the subject of watering lawns, why would the Yacht club water the grass smack in the middle of a hot day in July when there are people all over the place instead of in the evening or early morning? I only mention the people being around because water conservation or utility bills would, of course, never occur to them.

Robin "phoning it in" Coutellier

Thursday, July 9, 2009

BC - Thu, 7/9/09

I thought it was hilarious how everyone thought it was SOOO strange that Liza didn't want David to TOUCH her child! She didn't want him to see the baby too closely and figure out that it was his child, but SHE was the only one who knew that. Granted, the baby had a fever and David is a doctor, but the hospital is very close to EVERYWHERE in town. I wouldn't want a snake like David anywhere near MY baby, either. I almost cheered when she said that and walked the baby out! I'm just perplexed as to why everyone else is so surprised by it. I mean, hasn't pretty much everyone in TOWN punched the guy at one point or another for being so devious and obnoxious?

If Kendall's trial starts "today", why isn't anyone going to court? If the court can't reach the DA, then they WOULD postpone it, but there's no indication that they know he's missing yet, and everyone is going on about their business.

Wow, when Randi takes a quick shower, she REALLY takes a quick shower! She leaves the room and Zach knocks on the door. In the space of about 20 seconds she's already in the shower, thoroughly drenched (and yet her makeup is PERFECTLY intact, despite the fact that she keeps rubbing her eyes in the throes of guilt and angst). And about 10 seconds after that, Randi, wearing a robe and a towel turban, walks back into the living room . I call TIMEWARP!

Dave, talking to Amanda, ridicules Jake for first dabbling in obstetrics and now in pediatrics. Pot, Kettle.

Erica slides herself into Krystal's booth (blocking off any avenue of escape) and the two women exchange barbs. Erica wants to know why David left so quickly. Krystal points out that Jack didn't seem too happy with Erica, either. Erica says that the difference between them is that she doesn't actually NEED to have a man in her life all the time because she has a number of careers that keep her busy. Then she says: "In fact, why don't YOU think about going back to work? Buy a new mattress or something."

Natalia is barely out of the academy (IS she even out yet?), and yet she's notifying someone that her husband is dead? And she's doing it in the middle of a CASINO?

Kendall talks to her little boys (both of whom ignore her completely). She says the next two weeks are going to be VERY busy and she won't be around for a while. Then she says: "But ... I don't want you to worry because ..." at which point I finished the sentence for her "I'm hardly ever around ANYway." They probably WEREN'T worried, until she told them that they WOULD be (although only Spike would have picked up on it).

Erica admires Ryan and goes on and on about how well he's coped with all the horrible things that have happened in the last year. She says: "You've stayed true to yourself all along." Well, he's stayed true to his DICK and his EGO all along. Then she has an epiphany about how wonderful he is and makes goo-goo eyes at him

Robin "I am SO going to hurl" Coutellier

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

BC - Missed Wednesday's Show

For no apparent reason, my Tivo didn't record Wednesday's show. You can read a recap at Soapnet, though (that's what *I* finally did).

Stay tuned for Thursday's show (assuming it doesn't miss THAT one, too).

BC - Tue, 7/7/09

How old was Randi when Henry North was boffing her? They gave the impression that he's been a DA for a while and that he's been married for a while. Randi is relatively young. Maybe he should arrest himself for statutory rape. For that matter, his WIFE looks fairly young, too. So I looked up the actresses on IMDB and discovered that the actress playing Madison North (Stephanie Gatschet) is 26; the actress playing Randi (Denise Vasi) is 28, so maybe not; except that there is no WAY that the character of Randi is 28, more like 22-23, whereas the character of Madison is ACTING like she's about 30.

Kendall is hiding in Ryan's penthouse. He's surprised and asks her about it. She says she climbed up the fire escape. WTF? His child is routinely kidnapped by her psycho mom, who is currently out on bail (albeit under house arrest -- as if she wouldn't be able to evade them), yet a 90-lb woman can climb up the fire escape and get in??? She apparently climbed back DOWN it again (unless she jumped off and bounced back like Annie). I get the impression that Kendall isn't the bouncy type, though.

Why do these air-headed fashionistas in PV go on the lam while wearing such inappropriate clothes and shoes? Kendall is wearing a dress, FGS! She WAS at home, so why didn't she just change into something suitable for, say, CLIMBING FIRE ESCAPES, before she left?

Damn, that slap Randi gave Henry missed him by quite a few inches.

Jesse is pretty naive and wishy-washy for a police chief. First off, I don't see where the DA was so intolerable to Jesse. He's a nasty piece of work and a PITA, but you'd think a Police Chief could handle the pressure. Now Jesse is going to let a DA push him out of his job? Why does Jesse think there's no way the DA will make him testify if Jesse, in a press conference, says some nasty things about him as his reason for quitting? Hasn't he ever heard of the concept of a "Hostile Witness"?

If Frankie's HANDS were mangled, why is he wearing WRIST braces, but his hands are free, bandage-free and quite useful? I suppose I can see where it would take some strain off of them to keep the wrists straight and keep the blood flowing smoothly, but I don't understand why his hands are so much better and yet HE'S STILL IN THE F**KING HOSPITAL! This reminds me of when Derek Fry was shot in the kneecap during the time Billy Clyde Tuggle kidnapped "my Dixie-bird". Derek was in a hospital bed for at LEAST two months after he had knee surgery. And, of course, many of us remember Natalie (circa 1992 or 1993) being in bed for an interminable amount of time with giant, diamond-shaped bandages over her eyes, leading us to refer to her as Tweety-Nat (played by Melody Anderson, as opposed to Kate Collins). Nothing else was injured, just her eyes.

Well, I guess Jesse quitting (unless he's already done so) over the DA being mean to him and the DA charging himself with statutory rape are moot points NOW.

Robin "is Randi really up to a murder storyline?" Coutellier

Sunday, July 5, 2009

BC - Thu, 7/2/09

I still don't buy Adam's relatively good frame of mind after losing Stuart. He hardly seems to be grieving at ALL. Obviously he's setting up Annie to try to get info and possibly nail her (in the criminal sense) for Stuarts death, but the closeness between Adam and Stuart was SO strong that it just seems extremely out-of-character for Adam to not be absolutely grief-stricken for an extended period of time and acting out in a big way. Conning Annie might be considered "acting out", but it just seems way too calm and calculated for someone who is overwhelmed with grief to be doing that at this point.

Well, at least Frankie managed to sit in a chair for a while and even stand up. It still doesn't explain why he's even still there at PVH, but at least it's progress. I mean, REALLY, if he needs his bandages changed by a professional each day, there are home nurses for that.

Ryan frets over how he was unable to protect Greenlee, so how can he protect Kendall? He wonders if he's going to fail his daughter, too. IF?

Who's shaving Frankie? He has some facial hair going on, but it's kind of landscaped.

Kendall is imagining herself on the stand. Only on TV do murderers or accused murderers routinely take the stand. Oh, it happens in real life, too, but RARELY, and only if there is no other POSSIBLE way. It opens the door for just about EVERYTHING you've done in your entire life, and some of it may not be pretty or can be twisted and/or taken out of context. It's better to sit there with your mouth shut, rather than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. The prosecution has to prove the defendant did it. The defense has to throw buckets of shit at the wall and hope some of it sticks. The defendant has to sit quietly and try not to show any emotions. That's the way it works. Trust me, if OJ had taken the stand in the murder trial, he would have been convicted (well, maybe not with THAT braindead jury). If Phil Spector had taken the witness stand in the first trial, he would have been convicted and there would have been no need for a second trial. (Of course, if PS had gotten to a certain someone on the jury, no amount of argument or evidence would have convinced that juror. Gee, that's kind of how the first trial played out, isn't it?) We all would have LIKED to see both of those miscreants testify, but their lawyers knew better than to put them on the stand.

Wow, an actual ALARM went off at Adam's place when Erica came in through the patio doors! I'm SHOCKED!!! Has ANYONE in Pine Valley ever installed a burglar alarm in their homes, despite being kidnapped, assaulted, stalked, etc.? It took them about 25 years just to get some peepholes in SOME of the doors. If they did install one, did they ever use it more than for a single-shot storyline?

Hey, no RIDICULOUS Amanda/Jake/Liza baby storyline today! Cool!

Only in Pine Valley do women (Annie in this case) wear 4"-5" spike heels as bedroom slippers.

Robin "AND manage to easily overpower & attempt to strangle someone while doing so" Coutellier

Thursday, July 2, 2009

BC - Wed, 7/1/09

Why does Frankie still have a heart monitor on him? He's well past the recovery room stage of surgery. Wasn't it at LEAST a couple of days ago, if not more? He's young and healthy and there's no reason for him to be in BED or be on a heart monitor. He's not even being heavily sedated, and his fingers are even working well enough to dig into a bag of fast food! There's no reason for him to even be IN the hospital at this point. He can come in for PT, and he's certainly got enough support for people to drive him there as needed. What a wuss! How are we supposed to believe this is the same guy who lived by himself in the woods after returning from Iraq the first time?

The D.A. is going on a weekend getaway? With a possibly CAPITAL murder trial starting on MONDAY? Yeah, RIGHT! And why haven't they decided whether or not it IS a capital murder case yet? Not only would they have to find a death-qualified jury (one that would be willing to convict knowing that the death penalty is a possibility), but also a death-qualified ATTORNEY. Not all criminal lawyers are qualified by the State to be first chair in a capital murder trial. Is Jack death-qualified? Has he even BOTHERED to file any motions in an attempt to delay the start of the trial (not to mention a motion to dismiss)? If she gets convicted, Kendall should get her conviction overturned due to ineffective assistance of counsel.

Much as I hate to admit it, I'm on the D.A.'s side as far as Tad's eyewitness account goes. Even a layperson would be smart enough to point out that he did NOT identify Annie and that his description could fit any number of women, including Kendall. I mean, something THAT obvious would be in the first chapter of of D.A. Tips For Dummies. And Ryan continually yammering on to anyone who will listen that Tad DEFINITIVELY identified the woman as Annie is getting on my last nerve. Tad did NOT say that. He said it COULD have been her. Maybe. He wasn't even REMOTELY sure of it! That said, why is he NOW growing scruples when it comes to testifying? He's a master at lying to the court, tampering with, and even FABRICATING evidence, so why stop NOW? So what if he told the D.A. one thing. He can STILL testify to something else when in court. There was no court reporter in the D.A.'s office, so it's not on record. The D.A. probably recorded it, but it wouldn't be admissible in court. To play it anyway, as the judge ineffectually pounds his gavel, could result in a mistrial, so it would NOT be in the D.A.'s best interests to do that. Of course, Jack would be too ineffective to ASK for a mistrial.

Tad and Jake tell Amanda that they were talking about the lungs on Liza's new baby. Tad says he's got quite a set of pipes on him and he's breaking decibel levels every day. Every DAY? Hello? Is anyone HOME in there? The baby was born LAST NIGHT!!! And Amanda LIVES IN THE SAME HOUSE!!! There is clearly a hole ripped into the time-space continuum in Pine Valley.

Do you think that the writers use acronyms for the scripts. Do they write "BUS" whenever they want an actor to say "beef up security"? They certainly use that phrase a lot, despite the fact that there are more holes in PV security than there are grains of sand on a beach.

Robin "Does Randi ever talk to Carmen anymore?" Coutellier

BC - Mon-Tue, 6/9-30/09

Is it just me, or does Jake's bag full of miscellaneous crap look like a great big condom?

Are we ever going to find out where the baby has been stashed all this time, and with whom?

Why did David come into the house (TAD'S house) with Krystal when he brought her home? For the sake of the plot, it was for him to hear the baby cry, of course, but then they just dropped it, so what was up with that?

I really HATE it when soap birth-mothers are forced to endure seeing their own baby and don't know that it IS their own baby. That's a REALLY crappy thing to do! I hated it when Erica deliberately paraded baby Maddy in front of Maria, and I hate that TPTB are doing it now to Amanda! It's CRUEL! And don't even get me STARTED on awkwardly dangling a tiny baby through the basement window when it's clear they can't quite reach each other, and Tad can barely fit the baby and his arms through the window! Who would DO that? I don't care HOW important they think it is to fake a baby's birth, that was endangering the baby's life, plain and simple (yes, I DO realize they were using a prop baby for that scene)! Shades of Michael Jackson! I find this entire storyline not only immensely S.T.U.P.I.D, but downright D.E.S.P.I.C.A.B.L.E!

People burst in, sneak in, skulk around, and attempt to murder, kidnap or assault other people in Adam's home on a regular basis. Erica and Ryan were JUST chased out of there a short time ago after bursting in on Annie and Adam while Annie was holding a gun on Adam. When Erica starts skulking around AGAIN and makes noise, Annie asks what it was. Given the revolving door of mayhem and deceit in that house, why does she then believe Adam when he says it's nothing and probably just a small animal? She barely gives a glance in Erica's direction! Or DID she realize someone was out there?

Tad KNOWS that having the baby in the house is KILLING Amanda, so why did he tell Liza to "stay as long as you need"? We need Debbie Novotny (Michael's Mom on Queer As Folk) to slap Tad upside the head! And we need her to slap JAKE upside the head with BOTH hands!

If the D.A.'s wife knows Zach is trying to dig up dirt on her husband, why is she gambling at HIS establishment? Surely there are other casinos in the area, and there HAVE to be conflict-of-interest issues with that. Ah, she not-so-secretly wants to sabotage her husband in the guise of standing up for and bragging about him, thus giving information to the "enemy".

It always cracks me up how quickly murder trials (or ANY trials, for that matter) are held in Pine Valley.

Why did COLBY have to go after Amanda to see if she was okay (after Amanda held and fed the baby)? JAKE should have done that, but instead he stays with Liza and grimaces about how Liza screwed everything up. Jake is SUCH a clueless, insensitive TWIT!

Robin "RUTH! Come over here right NOW & slap that boy silly!" Coutellier