BC - Wed, 10/29/08

How long will it be before Little Adam starts prefacing everything he says with "What the Hell ...", since that's what GRANDPA says all day long (along with "What the Devil ...")? It's not like Adam is censoring himself around children.

Is it just me, or does Bianca not really seem to be connecting with the baby? She seems to be going through the motions and is constantly holding the baby (which puts her LEAGUES above Kendall in the mother department), but she seems to be regarding it more like a prop. Of course, she DOES have a lot going on besides her baby, 7-week preemie that she is (BULLSHIT!). Still, she mentions to Zach that the baby is with the pediatrician to be checked out. So why isn't Bianca with the baby AT the pediatrician's office? What are they, babysitters? Like they don't have ENOUGH to do on a regular day, let alone in the aftermath of a tornado. I don't care HOW dire the situation is with Kendall, this just doesn't make any SENSE to me and just further reinforces my sense of the baby being used merely as a prop, not only by Eden R, but also by the writers. I know parents tend to be more relaxed with the second baby, but she had WAAAAAY more bonding with Miranda.

I forgot to mention this yesterday, but WTF is wrong with Jesse? He suspects that Annie and Ryan are lying and scared after receiving a ransom note and he acts nasty and snide to them about it. He could have made his point without treating THEM like criminals.

Will Kendall have any scars from her heart surgery? OF COURSE NOT!

Is JAR getting really pudgy or was it just really bad lighting and camera angle? All Moms know that the hips are GREAT places to balance little ones and jutting them out makes it easier (when you're younger, anyway), and since he's a guy with relatively narrow hips, JAR probably just doesn't have the same kind of jutting power that women have so he's compensating by jutting his entire midsection forward and leaning backward. Now that I think about it, though, that would really only serve to push the little out outward. Well, JAR never was particularly bright. Now that I look at it again, though, I think he's just kind of pudgy and not standing up straight. To be fair, though, it ALSO makes his dick look bigger -- well, it makes it look pudgier, anyway.





Robin "or maybe it's just the sock in his pants" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 10/28/08

Who uses magazine letters for ransom notes these days? That kind of paper just LOVES to pick up fingerprints! You can wear gloves, of course, but it's got to be awkward to do.

JAR asks Little Adam if he's having fun playing with Tad. Shouldn't he be called Grandpa Tad or some variation thereof? He's married to Little Adam's bio grandmother and he's been a step-parent and/or heart-father to JAR all of JAR's life.

When Kendall's heart monitor went bonkers and Greenlee got up to rush out of the room (presumably for help), I was half expecting a nurse to come back in and patiently point out that Greenlee had inadvertently kicked the monitor plug out of the socket or had rolled her chair over a tube or something

Apparently Bianca and Zach are just going to keep referring to him as the baby's father when they think no one else is around. I had a creepy kind of feeling that someone is going to think the Bianca is just moving on in and taking over Kendall's place in the household (except for the sex and thrice-daily hysterics part).

Robin "this is going to be the worst kept secret EVER" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 10/27/08

Oh, NOW they put a hat on Bianca's baby to keep her warm -- inside an already warm building. I'm still stunned about Zach holding the wet little baby up into the cold wind and flying debris during a tornado, just to be dramatic. Was there a bend in the chute on the way out that caused her to go flying up into the air? Did Bianca push a little TOO hard? Did the baby ricochet off of Zach's face? I can't think of any other POSSIBLE reason for him to do that except he was just trying to catch her because she was a little human super-ball or perhaps just naturally bouncy like little Pubert, the baby in The Addams Family Values movie.

Greenlee says that the baby was born in the midst of chaos and insanity. What a GREAT soap name for the baby! Meet CHAOS INSANITY MONTGOMERY! Or, given her aforementioned flying capabilities, she could be called MAXIMUM SUPERGIRL MONTGOMERY (for you James Patterson fans).

How many of you about CHOKED when Bianca told Erica (re the new baby): "I'm sorry that she'll never know Babe"? WTF? Bianca should be thrilled that THIS baby will never "know" Babe! Babe probably would have found a way to kidnap HER, too!

Annie makes it clear that she doesn't want to talk to Greenlee. She even says: "We don't have to talk." So what does Greenlee do? She insists on talking to Annie and asks what she can do to help. Uh, how about you STFU for starters?

How many different kinds of nuts IS Taylor? She's practically Trail Mix at this point. She is partially paralyzed and she gets herself out of bed and tries to walk. Apparently it never occurs to her that in order for the swelling to go down, she'll need to keep stress OFF of the affected areas.

Robin "with a wrecked back she'll no longer pack a backpack or sleep on a rack or follow a track in Iraq" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 10/24/08

Ok, I call WAY bogus! Babe has apparently died. JAR holds her for a (very SHORT) while and cries. David pops his head in with a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face. JAR LETS GO of Babe and she lolls slightly to her right. Uh, she's DEAD -- DEAD, DEAD, DEAD, DEADITY-***DEAD***! There is NOTHING but a thin wooden armrest to hold her up, so unless rigor mortis set in within the space of about 5 seconds, there is no earthly (or gravitational) reason for her not to immediately collapse into a heap onto the floor or over the side of the bench! But nooooooo, she still SITS there -- her head isn't even lolling all the way down to her chest! It reminds me of when my Mom falls asleep sometimes in her rocking chair or when someone else is driving. Then David rushes to her, lifts her up -- and her elbow STAYS bent.

I was GOING to ask if I was the only one surprised when Tad did not immediately punch David Hayward after hauling him off the bench, but I see several posts saying something about it. Not that there WAS an immediate need to punch him, but that's never stopped Tad (or anyone else) from punching David before. Of course, then RYAN punched him.

Ian is a BIG baby -- he looks almost as big as Spike!

Taylor was inadvertently knocked down the stairs. I'm really not invested in her character at all (she's not particularly likable), so I find it difficult to care.

Robin "David Hayward is the bubble-wrap of PV; men canNOT walk by him without popping him or wanting BADLY to pop him; they can't help it -- it MUST be done!" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 10/22/08

Why is Kendall's mouth gaping open? Shouldn't the tube be taped to her mouth and her mouth at least partially closed to avoid excessive drying out? As mentioned by several people about Tuesday's show, when she was being zapped in the hospital hallway, the tube actually came OUT of her mouth.

For someone who is at death's door and who just had surgery, Babe seems quite perky, despite the redness around the eyes and the lolling head.

I agree with whoever said that it's RIDICULOUS that the nurse just hands the baby to Bianca to hold in the hallway -- a baby that's born SEVEN WEEKS prematurely should be in an incubator! What was the point of saying it was seven weeks early (other than for the imminent arrival to be considered suspenseful, unexpected and inconvenient) if the baby looks and acts and seems like a full-term baby (and a good-sized full term baby, at that)?

Okay, now THAT'S a cliffhanger! It's almost impossible to top Jesse being suspended in mid-air during mid-jump between the roof of a building and the landing gear of a helicopter, but it was kind of exciting, nonetheless. It's about time these people showed some real REACTIONS to something!

Robin "duck and cover" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 10/21/08

The people in the hospital hallway are working on Kendall in front of windows and you can see the window blowing hard outside. Shouldn't someone have put some tape over them or at least be wary enough to work on patients AWAY from the window? Even Krystal did that at the Comeback (fat lot of good it did, but it may have kept the window from breaking into a gazillion shards).

Considering he's just been told that his daughter has been kidnapped, DURING A TORNADO, Ryan is amazingly nonchalant. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that Annie IS lying -- Emma is STILL missing, isn't she? You'd think he would care about THAT, considering the devastation and death that is literally whirling all around him. And who KNOWS what that crazy bitch might have done with Emma? I guess THAT never occured to him.

That's a pretty big baby considering that she arrived SEVEN WEEKS early! They might want to consider wrapping her her up instead of holding her up to the storming heavens like they're in a scene from ROOTS. Considering how wet she must be, she's gotta be a mite COLD at this point.

Robin "being born is insulting ENOUGH to a baby's sensibilities, after all -- there's no need to add freezing one's tiny little ass off and being exposed to flying debris to the growing pile of indignities" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 10/20/08

If Adam and Erica are trying to save oxygen, they should consider blowing out that oxygen gobbling candle. I was listening to the Pine Valley Podcast for this week and Ashley Mendoza mentioned the Chinese food boxes in the tunnels. It made me wonder: Did the "mystery man" have food delivered to the tunnels? I mean, really, the tunnels are just THAT insecure, after all.

Hmmm, they can't get to Little Adam without unpinning Babe first, but if they unpin Babe NOW, she'll bleed out. How about this? I'm sure Krystal has some nice sharp knives for slicing limes behind the bar -- how about they just amputate just a PART of Babe to get to Little Adam? Of course, the bar is probably in the top of someone's oak tree at this point, but I'm sure someone has a pen-knife handy. Babe's diamond ring looks pretty substantial -- it might do. I have some suggestions for body parts to lop off, but decorum (yes, I DO have just a SMIDGEN of that) prevents me from sharing them with you at this time ;-)

I can't believe how CALM everyone is. Angie says she needs clamps to stop Babe's bleeding. Krystal glumly says she'll go see if there's something in the kitchen (then seems wonder if she even HAS a kitchen anymore). Zach frantically looks for Kendall. He finds her and yells to Bianca that he can't find a pulse. Bianca looks like she's glancing out a window and is slightly disappointed because the person walking by isn't the mailman and she's expecting the new Sears catalog.

Did you see that little peck on the lips Jesse and Angie had when Jesse was about to leave to get help? He moves in for a kiss and she puckers but actually pulls back AWAY from the kiss and turns quickly to Natalia by the time the lips connect for a nanosecond. Was it bad timing or did Darnell have garlic for lunch?

When Greenlee was screaming as she was being dragged away by the tornado, did anyone else think of Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz? I'm not thinking of the tornado part -- I'm thinking of the way Dorothy screamed when the flying monkeys dragged her away.

Thorston Kaye looks embarrassed at being forced to say those inane lines about fathering Bianca's baby.

Continuing in the same vein of understated reactions, Bianca suddenly says "Ow" and then calmly informs Zach that she thinks the baby is coming (a month early). Oh -- how ... inconvenient. Who is DIRECTING these people for these scenes? It's like they are counting ENTIRELY on CGI special effects to the point where they don't think anyone will be paying any attention to the actors, so there's no need for anyone to waste time reacting to the multitude of catastrophic events other than to casually notice that the events are happening.

Robin "does the entire town now smell like broken Bella bottles?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 10/17/08

WTF is WRONG with these people? Tornado/disaster sirens are blaring, the storm is raging, and Angie, Jesse, Natalia, Babe and Little Adam are all hanging around in the bar area. Babe and Little Adam were actually elsewhere and came BACK into the area. Then Babe sits Little Adam down ON TOP OF THE BAR. You know, right across from all the glass bottles and glasses that are set on the numerous shelves behind the bar. No one seems to notice the sirens, even though Jesse is the CoP and has issued orders for everyone ELSE in town to take cover.

Then there's Kendall, with her two babies. She KNOWS there's a tornado warning. She loses contact with Zach on the cellphone as he gets sucked up into the vortex. So what does she do? She grabs a couple of seat cushions from the porch and then ... sits down on the couch with her babies playing on the floor. Near a window. A little later she has Spike on the couch as Ian is in his little walker. What did she think the sirens were about? Did she think they were whimsical whale calls? Even SHE can't be so stupid as to think that's safe enough, can she? What am I saying? Of COURSE she can be (and IS) just THAT stupid!

Hmmm, getting hit by doors in tornados appears to be a genetic trait. Tad got knocked out by one during the LAST tornado. Then Petey was out cold after the front door blew into HIS head.

I LOVE the new baby Ian! He is SOO chatty and lively and happy! Of course, that means they'll probably be replacing him pretty soon -- can't have a baby actor that actually shows more signs of life than a lizard sunning on a rock, after all.

When Zach was climbing out of his car they showed the landscape around him, including power and telephone lines. Those lines were as still as if there were not even a slight breeze or even squirrels running across them. Hey, CGI dept -- PAY ATTENTION -- those things will whip around like crazy on a merely WINDY day!

Robin "still, all in all the effects were kind of cool for a soap" Coutellier

BC - Wed-Thu,10/15-16/08

Ryan insists to Jesse that Emma is SAFE WITH HIM. Well, she isn't WITH him, is she? She's with the babysitter/nanny at the movies.

Why would there be a tornado at the beach? I've heard of waterspouts, but I was under the impression that a BIG tornado needs a LOT of flat ground to form. PV has an ocean and mountains (the mountains or very large hills part is usually what defines a "valley").

It sounds like Greenlee is coming down with whatever Kendall had that made her voice hoarse. The upcoming screaming and all the crying she has to do probably isn't going to help.

Did you see that look on Jesse's face when Angie came into the main room of The Comeback where he was talking with Natalia? PRICELESS! It was a "who me", "why look, it's my lovely wife", "what woman, I don't see any other woman here", "nobody here but us chickens" kind of look.

Technically, other than a basement, the tunnels are probably the safest place on the Chandler estate (well, the panic room might be a tad safer). That doesn't mean they'll be safe in PV, of course. Too bad no one is hanging out at Wildwind, because the mausoleum (calling FAC Crypt!) would probably make a good shelter. That's one heavy-duty little structure.

Where ARE Kendall and Zach? Are they at a cottage on the Pine Valley Ocean or somewhere on the New Jersey coast near Sea City? If they can hear the sirens so loudly, they must not be very far away from town at ALL.

Why isn't there anyone on the staff working in the lobby at the movie theater? There are only the sitter (is it Corrina or Rachel -- they're kind of interchangeable) and Annie screaming for Emma and running around in circles.

Robin "has anyone looked in the bathroom?" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 10/14/08

Why has Greenlee been so, sooo, sooooo ... blah? She never gets excited about ANYTHING any more. Even when Aidan hands a gun over to Ryan and tells him to shoot him, she just stares at him. The FDA trashes the Fusion offices and she just looks sad. In fact, that's about ALL she does these days is look sad, yet serene. Or just serene. Where is the woman who took a hatchet to Ryan's apt? Where's her spark? Is she taking Quaaludes?

Why are Corrina and Emma in the park AFTER DARK? What possible reason could they have for being there? For that matter, why is Annie in the boathouse when she is being stalked? I mean, I thought it was stupid of her to hang out on the Chandler patio, but in a deserted boathouse in the middle of a park at night? She really IS certifiable. They never DID explain why she was there. Then she got spooked and ran to Cortlandt manor. Was she planning to sleep in the boathouse? Ick? Considering how much action that place sees, no matter what time of year it is or hour of the day or night, that place must have to be disinfected on a daily basis. I can only imagine how many condoms must be strewn about on the planks and floating in the water.

Why are people on TV and in movies always having sex on the floor? The floor is HARD and it really has no give to it. You'd think someone as thin and bony as Kendall would INSIST on moving the sex to the bedroom.

Robin "whose tailbone STILL remembers the 1980s" Coutellier