Boogie Chillen, S01E08, C2P3 (Wed, 5-8-13)

I guess Winifred got over her hatred for Adam; she's back working for him and even RUNNING for him.

Where is Adam going?

Miranda doesn't realize that her biological father raped Bianca; she thinks she "came from a cup" via a sperm donor. Bianca was telling her about how hard it was to have Erica Kane for a mother and how the tabloids ran stories about her being gay. Miranda seemed surprised. Now she's telling Celia about her origins. I think I see some research about her father in the offing. Kendall was on trial for murdering him, but then Bianca remembered that SHE had shot him. That was ALL over the news and tabloids. It shouldn't be too difficult for Miranda (or Celia) to google Bianca and find all sorts of info about her. I put the video on pause to write that, and the next thing out of Miranda's mouth was that she DOES wish she knew who he was or at least what he was like. Foreshadowing much?

Was David FARTING while he was talking to Cara?

How many female characters are on the show right now whose names begin with "C"? Off the top of my head, we have Cara, Celia and Cassandra (Kathy's name starts with a "K").

Ha! Did they just diss The Bachelor (aka, an ABC show)? LOVE IT!

I thought the name of the nail salon was Fancy Finger Nail Salon. The sign on the outside said New Image Nails. New ownership?

Dixie slams Adam for telling the comatose JAR that he's the biggest disappointment of his life. Yet there she is, dumping her frustration that David is back and now honing in on AJ. JAR may be in a coma, but that doesn't mean he can't hear things. WTF? So far he's heard that his father thinks he's worthless, and his arch-enemy is honing in on his son. He cannot even react to it. Adam did reconsider, and told JAR that he loves him.

Speaking of JAR, his face looks very well toned for an alcoholic with MANY severe injuries (not to mention cancer) in his history, who has been in a coma for 5 years. You'd think he would at least be slightly slack-jawed. His hair is also nicely done WITH some kind of product.

Robin "they must have had to degunk JAR's eyes & mouth several times a day" Coutellier

Boogie Chillen, Thursday - 5-2-13

Oh yeah, I believe there are adult-size jeans that Miranda can't fit into. She's such a butterball, after all.

AJ tells Miranda that the trailer park called and they want their trash back. Has anyone ever sat him down and told him about his mama (and Grandma Krystal, for that matter)? Yeah, there's a hospital wing at PVH named after Babe -- there's also a pier in San Diego where quite a few sailors have carved her name in the wood. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the pier had collapsed from the structural damage!

I see/hear that Griff still sounds like he's about to break into tears with every syllable he utters.

So know we know that JAR is the assh--er--mystery patient (they spelled his name wrong, though (AFAIK). Babe always pronounced it JAR and I'm sticking with it. We still don't know what happened to Tad, though.

David always DID have a hate-on for JAR (and vice versa).

All that medical equipment in JAR's hospital room looks sparkling clean and fresh out of the box. Do they ship in new factory equipment every day for the rich guy?

Now we know for SURE that eBabe (aka Marissa) WAS killed 5 years ago. Well, at least we know there's a gravestone for her, and people seem sad that she's gone.

Pete assures Celia via video that he is NOT a cyber-stalker. He assures her of this via an iPad with the words: TOUCH ME on the screen. In her BEDROOM. There are also flowers for her. In her BEDROOM. Pete's waiting outside her window for her with more flowers. Nope. He's not a stalker. Only creeps who don't respect boundaries are stalkers. Pete's romantic.

The show ends with David putting his hand around JAR's throat. David had decided that JAR being in the prison of his own body was better than him dying; but then he saw JAR's fingers twitching and he's not about to let JAR wake up NOW. So. How long before someone comes into the room and punches David in the face? 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ...

Robin "I appear to be getting some of my AMC snark back; it's like riding a bicycle" Coutellier

Boogie Chillen, Wednesday - 5-1-13

I'm glad to see that Brooke managed to heal Adam's heart. I've also missed Adam's hissssssses whenever anything he says has an ess sound in it.

The squiggle artwork in Adam's living room reminds me of the squiggle artwork Jack used to have in HIS living room. Or in his house with Erica. Or maybe in his office. Well, Jack had some squiggle artwork SOMEwhere.

OH FGS! There's yet ANOTHER child hidden from David? I think Leora was the ONLY child he ever got to be with from birth and she died at, what, 4 months?

Was McKenzie the little girl (who is now a teenager) that Cara championed the last time around? I remember that Cara had leukemia when she was a child and she was isolated and over-protected and HATED it. So when she saw another little girl being treated the same way, she stood up for her (against the girl's PARENTS). I think Cara got fired and/or banned from the hospital for it.

Questions:

• Do people in PV still go to the Yacht Club?


• How long will it be before someone blows something up?


• How long will it be before a baby or child is kidnapped? We ALREADY have an adult being kidnapped right off the bat, after all.


• ARE there any babies left in PV? If not, how soon before someone is sporting a baby lump?


• Where are Kathy and Jenny? Jenny would probably be with Krystal, assuming Krystal survived, but Kathy is Tad and Dixie's daughter.


• Did Jane buy BJ's and remake it into Jane's Addiction?


• Is there still quicksand out by Willow Lake?


• Did Jamie hire caretakers for the Wallingford estate that he inherited, or did he sell it off or rent it out so he could continue to be a doctor in Africa?


• Is Evelyn the Headmistress really Celia's biological mother or aunt?


• Does Colby Chandler feel eclipsed by Petey's success with apps, given that she had become a video-blog sensation 5 years ago? I don't get the feeling that she was a casualty of the infamous megadeath/engagement party.


• Did Caleb finally say "take this job and shove it" to Cortlandt Electronics? I get the feeling that he abandoned it.

Robin "did Adam beef up security after the 'incident'?" Coutellier

Boogie Chillen, Monday - 4-29-13

In case you haven't heard or realized it yet, it's HERE! AMC, as put forth by Prospect Park, is now available via Hulu.com! On a technical note (before you race off to watch it), I've found that navigating it much more likely to be successful using the REWIND ICON (10 seconds) in the browser player window than it is to try to click on a position on the progress bar. Clicking on the bar resulted in odd behavior for me, including losing my audio. I also had problems with Firefox and had to use IE to successfully watch it, but that may be due to some add-ons I have in Firefox. The new show is 30 minutes, rather than 1 hour. I don't know if it will be this way for future shows or just the premiere, but I was able to see it on-line on Hulu by 1-1:30am on (pacific)!

In case you don't recognize me or the "Boogie Chillen" in the header, it's what I called my daily or near-daily comments on the show before it was canceled, and I am now resurrecting it! I have read and posted little in RATSA since the show went off the air, feeling SO betrayed by ABC canceling the show after 41 years! But I'm back NOW. The backstory to Boogie Chillens is that people asked about my comments often and it made it easier to find by giving it a "name". I love John Lee Hooker's music and the Chillen ties in with Children, so that's how I picked the name for it. Please note that BCs are NOT necessarily UPDATES; they are my comments. Certainly this first one for the 2013 resurrection is more of an update, but some days I won't have much to say or will go 2-3 days without commenting and/or lump multiple days together in a single post. I post BCs in rec.arts.tv.soaps.abc on USENET and in this blog.

WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE!!!

AMC starts 5 years from the end of the ABC version, which ended with a cliffhanger. JR was out of control and tried to shoot Bianca and/or Marissa, JR's ex- or soon-to-be ex-wife, who were now a couple. JR was furious that Bianca had "turned" Marissa into a lesbian. Erica got in the way of the bullet as she headed toward the door after Jack. Most of the children are teens now. Oddly Lucy, Maya's baby that Jesse swapped out for he and Angie's baby, who was stillborn, has apparently GRADUATED (high school? college?) and got a job in Portland. Presumably Portland Oregon, not Portland, Maine. And now I keep wanting to spell Portland as "Portlandt". Anyway, Lucy was a BABY the last time we saw her; so far she wins the prize for having the worst case of SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome).

Brooke has a nightmare. In the nightmare, David and someone else are wrestling over a gun. She suddenly wakes up, finding herself on the couch. The classic AMC photo album with the words "ALL MY CHILDREN" on the cover is on her lap. Adam rushes to her to reassure her that he's right there for her.

WHOA! A brief, but HOT love scene with Cara and David! I don't know yet if it was a fantasy or a memory. This is DEFINITELY no longer ABC! Cara and David were doing it up against a WALL and showing a *LOT* of skin! A LOT! Maybe I WILL stick around to see how this goes!

Ah, SO nice to see Jesse and Angie in a HOUSE where they belong!  I LOVE Angie's colorful robe, too! I also love that she and Jesse actually look and mostly act like REAL people and they look fabulous doing so!

Dixie looks at a photo of herself and Tad in happier times. She is wistful and misty-eyed, and looks heavenward with love.

Petie is definitely all growed up now (and completely un-dorkified). He had an in-joke while talking on his iPhone, telling someone that it's all changing; everyone is watching TV on-line now :-) He drives around in a sporty convertible and looks like the trendy, hot-shot, rich young man that he is.

Someone has been in a coma or otherwise incapacitated for 5 years, but we don't know who yet. We know this because Cara and Griff, wearing doctor gear at PV Hospital, discuss someone (who is just off-camera) as they look at charts and over to the person in the bed, etc. They obliquely discuss how David would be very angry about whatever it is they have been doing with the patient.

There's a new theme song. It's COMPLETELY different from any of the variations we've heard over the course of 41 years. My closed-captioning gave the name of the song and the artist(s), but I don't remember right now and don't feel like looking for it; I'm sure someone will provide it soon enough. Something about friends and love. The opening montage shows characters, mostly shown in pairs, and has the characters' first names written underneath each one. It's actually a clever way to introduce people to characters, former and new, that they will be seeing.

Adam and Brooke have still not married (the cliffhanger ending was at an engagement party for them 5 years ago). Adam re-proposes. Apparently it's "complicated". AJ comes into the room, mentions Brooke's recurring nightmare, and tells them that it's been 5 years and they need to get over it and move on. Brooke agrees, but can't seem to let go of whatever happened at the party, because so MUCH has been lost.

AJ comes out of the bathroom playing or pretending to play his guitar to music on the stereo. His towel drops unnoticed from around his waist to the floor. We can see quite a bit! Miranda walks into the room and he gets all modest and says "SHIT!" among other things. Miranda makes it clear that they've grown up together and it's no big deal; she's seen him naked LOTS of times (mostly when they were little, though). They clearly have a very strong sibling-like relationship.

He replaces the towel around his waist, and they sit on the bed and look at a post someone wrote on Miranda's facebook wall. The post asks "Is Miranda Montgomery a VAG-itarian or does she eat meat?" Miranda calls them assholes (no bleeps, no wimpy substitution curse words).

Now we know that Cassandra, Natalia and Frankie are still alive, because Angie talks about how blessed she and Jesse are to have such wonderful children and how well they are doing in their lives.

Angie and Jesse have sex on the couch (we don't see that part, just the afterglow). Angie makes double entendres about the size of Jesse's equipment.

Jesse has a BIG surprise for Angie. She can't get the surprise info out of him, though. She goes to take a shower and makes more comments about he and his BIG surprise joining her in the shower. He does, but that happens off-camera.

Jesse's big surprise is that he has arranged for Cassandra to come to visit. He leaves her a message that a driver will be waiting for her with a sign with her name on it. We see her phone lit up with his call. The call is purposely being ignored.

Cortlandt Electronics is going down the tubes and Petie, who is apparently an apps genius, doesn't really want to deal with keeping it from going under. Opal urges him to do otherwise, for his dear departed father's sake, as CE was Palmer's heart and soul.

Wow, SOME of the lockers at  PVHS actually have LOCKS on them! Not Miranda's, of course. I also noticed that the front door to Jesse and Angie's house apparently does not have a deadbolt, despite it belonging to the Chief of Police (assuming he still IS COP), and despite all the chaos and mayhem that has occurred in their lives since the 1980s. Some things NEVER change. I couldn't quite see if the door had a thumblock.

Cara mentions that David is behind bars for manslaughter (presumably due to someone who died (it sounds like possibly MORE than one person died) at the cliffhanger party 5 years ago); she'll deal with him when the time comes. Oh look, there's David NOW, leaving prison! He's headed for home sweet home ... I predict some more Cara/David skin-on-skin action in the not-too-distant future.

Pete (I'll have to stop calling him Petie) is driving around town and sees a teenage girl wearing a plaid schoolgirl skirt get bumped into on the sidewalk, and her stuff tumbles to the ground. She is wearing a very showy charm bracelet. Pete gets off his wheeler-dealer phone call and helps her pick stuff up. She picks up an apple from the ground and takes a big bite out of it. She has to get going. He asks if she's late for detention. She says she's not a student. She's taking a "gap year". She teaches Art History at her old high school. He says he took an extended gap year from Stanford. She asks about it and he tells her he went to California and started his own company. He asks her name as she rushes off to school. She calls back that her name is Celia. Pete sees something shiny on the ground. He picks up a heart that must have fallen from her charm bracelet. It has a photo in it.

Miranda is all ga-ga because Hunter, the most popular boy in school, said "Hey" to her in the hallway. AJ is not impressed and tells her that the guy is a douche and a player. BTW, AJ is a ginger now. I think. It's hard to tell with the lighting. He's definitely not sporting the childhood blond mop-top hairstyle.

All the regulars are  looking GOOD! I noticed that the outdoor scenes/backdrops are quite realistic (I see plain old houses in the near distance out the back window of the taxi David takes to PV. I don't see any mountains or urbanization of PV, but it also doesn't look like the quaint town from the early days of AMC)

Pete tells Opal that the old CE factory may have more potential than he thought. He looks at the locket in his hand. He's planning to stick around for a few days. Opal gushes over him and wants them to do scrapbooking and tai-chi together while he's home. He smiles patiently at her.

Celia arrives in her room at her "old school", wherever that is, and an older woman, presumably a headmistress (or a mom or someone in some sort of authority over Celia), gets on her case for being late and then wants her to explain THIS ("this" being a condom, mercifully still in its package as opposed to recently having been donned on someone's package). Celia looks annoyed. **Edited to add that I didn't even realize that the headmistress is played by Francesca James, who played Kitty/Kelly on AMC way back in the day and later went on to become a director and producer on several soaps.**

Jesse talks on the phone to the limo driver. The driver has bad news.

David visits a grave. We do not see the name on the headstone. He says he's been in prison 5 years for what happened to "you".  Tears run down his face. But now he's back -- and there's going to be hell to pay!

All in all, I'm impressed with the first new show. I'm hoping that the fact that the show is on-line only and clearly has fewer restraints, may make it a little more realistic in some areas. Don't get me wrong; it's still a SOAP, but they clearly can show more skin and say curse words, so we may never again have to hear an AMC character use the word "crud" unless they are referring to baked-on, hard to clean food-matter in a baking pan that was left in the sink, untouched, for 3 days. It's all SHIT from here on out, and I mean that in the nicest possible way!

The teenagers are quite polished. Of course, when I say "polished", I'm thinking of The Tin Man being buffed by machinery in the Emerald City. The young actors, of course, usually have very nice young, firm skin to begin with, but even that skin has been polished down to an exquisite, doll-like finish. It's like they all just came back from a high-end detailing service. I don't have an opinion, one way or another about their acting skills. I think I like Miranda the best, though.

The adults all look marvelous, and yet more realistic than they ever did on ABC. I LOVE that so many of them are still there! It makes the transition to the revamped soap so much easier.

Robin "here we go again!" Coutellier

ON THE NEXT AMC:

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Bianca tells Miranda that she's the coolest mom EVER. Miranda asks why. Bianca says that her friend, Mallory, just scored 4 tickets for a One Direction concert at Madison Square Garden.

Jesse and someone at airport security are viewing video. The guy at the computer says the guy going through some glass doors with someone looks like a driver, presumably with Cassandra. Jesse protests that the driver HE hired said he never even picked her up or even SAW her.

Jesse tells Zach over the phone that he will never guess how "that car" was registered -- under his casino. Zach turns in his chair toward the camera and says "My casino?"

BLAST FROM THE PAST - BC - Tue, 8/29/00

[NOTE: here's a little background information since this is from 2000. 

• Adrian is Adrian Sword (played by Matthew St. Patrick, who later played Keith on Six Feet Under). Adrian was the love child of Opal and a black minister (or something like that); as an adult he was a multi-talented secret agent. MSP was quite yummy-looking, but his acting was very stilted; he did a much better job on SFU.

• At the time, Finola Hughes was very pregnant in real life. 

• Tina was a so-so character who was involved with Adrian.

• Dixie worked for David at the hospital as his assistant.

• Jake was in one of his run-away-from-home-and-into-danger phases and had a planeload of orphans to be evacuated. I think he was in wartorn Chechnya.]

Whoa, NICE special effects (NOT)!  Ryan and Adrian are in a plane that is jolting right and left and they aren't even moving with it.  That's because the CAMERA is what's jerking right and left.  That cameraperson should cut back on the cappucinos.  Adrian hands Ryan a gun and asks if he knows how to use one of them.  Ryan shoves in a clip and says he'll figure it out.  Do I even have to SAY how ludicrous this situation is? 

Considering that they are trying to make such a dramatic impact of Alex first seeing Dimitri at the Hunting Lodge, you would think they would have found a slightly different angle from which to shoot her.  Instead, the camera is to her right and slightly back, CLEARLY showing he belly preceding the rest of her by about 10".  The lampshade was supposed to disguise it, but the camera didn't move back NEARLY far enough, so the lampshade merely illuminates it and calls attention to it. A HUGE blunder that should have been either cut or reshot, IMNSHO.  The rest of their scenes together were fabulous, though, and the scene on the couch was very well-shot. 

I want to know where Greenlee buys that tear-proof makeup!  Wait a minute -- it's probably got so many chemicals in it that she's now sterile, so maybe I'll pass on that.

Before jettisoning all that extra cargo in the cabin, you'd think Ryan and Adrian would have at least LOOKED in them to see what they were getting rid of!  Was I the only one who thought the first crate they sent out the door had Gillian in it (ok, we KNEW she wasn't actually IN it at that point)?  Ah, well, there was that brief little thrill, wasn't there?  While the whole thing was highly unbelievable, Ryan not getting sucked out the door when he tried to pull Gillian's crate and she jumped out was downright laughable.  Not quite as laughable as the coloring-book clouds visible outside the door and window (despite occasional puffs of dry ice vapors), but pretty funny anyway :-)

Tina should really avoid that pigtail look. It's for little girls or teenyboppers. 

Considering the plane is at about 10,000 feet, the door is open, they are in a mostly steel cabin, and Gillian is wearing a sheer blouse, you'd think her nipples would be harder than they would be if, say, she were sitting in a Waco, TX, Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise that didn't even have an overhead fan, much less an air conditioner. 

David grabs Dixie and kisses her -- HARD.  Afterward, she stares at him as he tells her he HAD to do that just to shut her up.  Uh huh.  She continues to stare at him in silent horror and disbelief.  He begs her to say something.  While Dixie didn't say anything, *I* said "LAWSUIT".  Something tells me the I-had-to-do-it-to-shut-her-up wouldn't fly in court.  What am I SAYING?  It would absolutely hold up in a PV court!

When Greenlee was smashing things with the axe, did anyone else think the printer/fax looked more like a plastic vaporizer? 

If the plane barely has enough fuel to get them where they are going, never mind turning back to PV, how did Adrian and Ryan plan on RETURNING with Jake and a bunch of orphans in tow? 

LOD:
Ryan to Gillian re sharing a bedroll to keep warm:  "How about you riding shotgun?"  Gillian:  "I'm not touching a gun unless I have to!"  BWAHAHAHAAA!

Dixie, fresh from the kiss from David, runs into SOS and kisses Tad like she wants to do him right there, standing up at the bar.  She tells him she's missed him SOOO MUCH!  Tad:  "Is that Zepherin Chloride and Betadine I smell?" 

May I say that that is a very unflattering ensemble Dixie has on?  She makes almost anything look good, but that outfit is tight in all the wrong places, making her look frumpy. 

Nice to see someone (Leo) actually playing darts at the loft.  Now if only Scott would walk in.  I thought Leo would point out that Scott lived there too, but then realized that Leo has no reason to take Scott's feelings into consideration. 

Unless this was a daydream sequence (entirely possible [keeping in mind that I haven't seen Wed's show yet] given that sudden jump from standing to them lying on the couch), Alex has now had sex (presumably) within a very short period of time with 2 brothers.  You KNOW what soap opera law has to say about THIS situation.   Sigh -- ANOTHER whose-baby-is-it storyline?  At least she's dressed for the part nowadays.

Robin "Gillian:  Coffee, Tea or ME?" Coutellier

Near Brands - JE Microwave

Some eagle-eyed viewers caught one of the latest near brands used as a prop the other day when Madison brought Scott a house-warming gift: a brand new JE Microwave Oven! By popular request, here is a partial screencap of the near-brand:

I'm not sure what the extra doohickey on in the top box is. It looks like a purple shoebox to me, but I'm guessing it has something to do with microwaving.

BC - Tue, 8/16/11

Damn, Jesse needs to lay down some weather-stripping on the bottom of their front door. He was able to easily see the shadows of Mookie's feet shuffling around outside the front door!

Jesse KNOWS that Mookie is a controlling and probably violent guy, yet he just leaves, telling Maya to make Mookie go away.  WTF? He leaves a dangerous man alone with the nanny and the BABY?

Ewww! Kendall gives Zach a nice long kiss; can you imagine what Zach's breath must be like after all this time?

Zach wants to leave and moves to get up from the bed, but Kendall insists that he stay because he has an infection. Pot, Kettle.

OMG, they actually WENT THERE and showed a love scene with Bianca and eBabe (at least the beginning of it)! I skipped through the Ryan/Greenlee love scene, but this is a whole nother ballgame (so to speak)! They still don't kiss convincingly, but the fact that they showed it at ALL is kind of amazing. Since I don't watch other soaps, I don't know if any of the other ones have shown lesbian love scenes (or gay ones, for that matter) or not, so I don't have that to compare it with this one.

Robin "they have me watching more frequently now because they keep surprising me; I can't believe I actually LIKE their version of short-timer attitude" Coutellier

BC - 8/8/11

Tad's supposed to be a crackjack PI (and, yes, I believe he DID get his PI license in a Cracker Jack box, but that's beside the point). You'd think he would notice someone standing behind him at the park when everything else is so quiet because it's night.

For a couple of people who are about to go on a delayed "honeymoon", Tad and Cara really don't seem that hot for each other. If I were about to go on a weekend jaunt to Martha's Vineyard with my sweetie and we HADN'T had sex yet, we'd probably be all over each other before we got to the point of agreeing to go on a trip where we were, indeed, going to have sex (with each other).

What is the beeping medical equipment supposed to signify? If it's supposed to be Zach's heartbeat, it's WAAY too fast. If that's a normal sound for that room, you'd think it would drive anyone who had to be in the room (including the patient) bonkers.

So are Dixie, Zach and possibly Leo zombies now?

Okay, I know Greenlee is now dealing with Zach being on a bed in the same room (or one that LOOKS like the same room) as Leo was in. You'd think she would at least be gnashing her teeth to get back to finding Leo again, but she seems to have put him completely out of her mind to deal with Zach. I know she thinks it was a dream, and maybe it was, but now she's there with ZACH, right, so how can she know what's real and what's not? How can WE? At this point, as far as Greenlee goes, it's almost like one of those dreams where you dream you were dreaming, and you woke up, and WHEW, it was only a dream, but it seemed so REAL; and then something really bizarre happens, which seems perfectly normal to you, or at least acceptable as reality, and THEN you wake up for real and realize that you dreamed you had a dream and they BOTH seemed really real while you were dreaming them. Don't you HATE that?

Did you hear David refer to Angie as Andy Hubbard?

Robin "the scenes at Ryan's were just plain weird" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 7/22/11

Okay, there's no doubt whatsoever that David is in charge of whatever the hell it is he's in charge of that involves Ben who is beholden to (and ostensibly in love with) Jane, to whom David is ostensibly engaged. It's also crystal clear now that Dixie and Erica were both being guarded/tended to by Ben under David's direction.  I'm intrigued. What the HELL is David doing, what HAS he been doing, and what is he GOING to do? It's quite convoluted.

JAR trips over the chair AJ is sitting in (where's a 4th floor balcony when you need one?) and AJ barely glances in his direction, not even flinching. He does look upset in a frozen kind of way, though. I had to laugh when Bianca later made a reference to JAR going out a window. I really like how they are throwing us some show-history bones during these last days (just don't throw us FAKE bones).

Boy, that Ben is a real ROCK, isn't he? No really. I've seen rocks with more personality and animation.

When David, still reeling from the punch Jack delivered to his face, grabbed Erica and said she was his beautiful fiance, then kissed her, how many of you immediately FF'd in your own brain to Erica saying "F**K OFF, DAVID!"

When Erica subsequently bit David on the mouth and he yanked away, saying "WTH, you just BIT me!" I had my own little flashback to this morning when I said pretty much the same thing when one of our cats did the same thing to me as I was petting him (he bit me; I did not bite him). He's an instinctual biter down to his itty-bitty little kitty core.

Oh puh-leeze! Did you see Liza's fake tear-wiping? She pressed a square of whatever up to the corner of her eye and just held it there for effect. Press and HOLD ..2..3..4... Shades of Casey Anthony in front of the jury!

Jesse scoffs at Erica's story of being kidnapped by a crazed fan who became her doppelganger. This from the man who faked his own death, hid away for 20 years and who, mere months ago, accepted someone else's baby to switch with his own dead one since Angie had passed out and couldn't see anyway. Yet he is the soul of  skepticism over Erica's story. Okay, Erica's story IS pretty far-fetched (REALLY far-fetched), but not by Pine Valley standards. It's less far-fetched than her unaborted fetus showing up in town 30 years later; the unaborted fetus that was excised, transplanted and subsequently raised by a doctor who happened to be one of Erica's biggest fans, for that matter.

Robin "Erica has more f**ked up fans than Michael Jackson" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 7/15/11

Whoa, did you get a look at those shiny high heels Maya wears to clean the house? Shades of June Cleaver!

Wow, little Lucy stopped crying quite abruptly from the time Jesse went to the door and the time he opened it. I know it's very hard for actors to work with unpredictable babies, but it was still kind of funny how quickly it happened :-)

While I don't buy JAR being broken-hearted and driven to drink by losing eBabe, I suppose I DO buy him being at least driven to drink by losing her to a WOMAN. As he said, he didn't see THAT coming!

Is it just me or has this been a REALLY long day in Pine Valley? It started when Kathy woke up Tad and eBabe woke up JAR. Amanda, dressed for clubbing and freshly coiffed, went to Fusion to drink (apparently the bar is wide open for the breakfast crowd), had a heart-to-heart with Opal, then went to the park. Jake found her at the park and she told him she had an STD and, BTW, she contracted it only 3 weeks ago. He forgave her and she ran off again, this time to have a drink at the bar at Krystal's where she runs into JAR and tells him that she told Jake about the sex and the STD. It's still bright and sunny outside.

Jake and Tad had a heart-to-heart about Amanda cheating on him, then Jake went home to tell Amanda he still wants to make their marriage work. In the meantime, Kendall and Griff have a date for dinner(?), even though it's bright and sunny out. Griff bails on her when she pries. They meet later in the park and then at her house, I think, or maybe the hospital, and they go to the park again. It's still bright and sunny outside.

After needling (so to speak) several people at work, David twirls his invisible mustache and goes to his hotel room to get ready for an important meeting with hospital board members, but Jane shows up at his door, with her eyes practically rolling up into the back of her head due to her NON-Libidozone-inspired uncontrollable lust for him. After trying to get rid of her, David relents and gives her a right good shagging. Ryan and Greenlee, in the meantime, compare notes and information about Project Orpheus and wonder about Erica's involvement with David. Greenlee goes to the Yacht Club and pulls the fire alarm so that David and "Erica" will run out of the room in a state of not quite dressed. It's still bright and sunny outside.

EBabe gets mad at JAR for not really thinking of all those great special things to do for her and give to her because it was really all Bianca's ideas. Scott comforts her. JAR fusses and fumes about Scott taking eBabe away from him.  He almost drinks some scotch, but AJ inspires him with his adorableness, so JAR pours the scotch into  a poor, innocent plant next to the front door (no one will ever notice that the front door area REEKS of alcohol). It's still bright and sunny outside.

JAR goes to the hospital to possibly go to an AA meeting. While there, he and Tad have a heart-to-heart, then JAR takes off, presumably to a meeting. EBabe meets Bianca either on the Chandler grounds or the park (it's unlcear) and tells her that she loves her, too; she kisses Bianca. Bianca says it won't work because eBabe is straight, not gay. It's still bright and sunny outside.

Heartbroken at Bianca's rejection, eBabe goes back to the mansion, gets consoled by Scott some more (who has figured out that Bianca told eBabe that she had a thing for her), and then tells JAR (who has returned home after speaking with Amanda at Krystal's) that she's in love with Bianca, who walks in on them, despite knowing darned well that they were going to have a very private conversation (so much for being a saint). It's still bright and sunny outside.

In the meantime, Opal has a heart-to-heart with Jack, feeding him all sorts of goodies from the over-laden coffee table in the Martin living room (because the builders forgot to make a kitchen or dining room when they built the house), Kendall calls "Erica" over to her house for an emergency having to do with the Miranda Center, and when Jane shows up, it turns out to be an intervention. David and Angie meet and agree that his treatment is working. It's still bright and sunny outside.

JAR pours himself yet another glass of scotch (he has an endless supply of scotch bottles at the house). This time he actually drinks it. The plant outside the front door is quite relieved, since it's still dizzy and slightly pukey from the first bottle he opened. Tad comes over and they have yet another heart-to-heart. Maya helps hide the scotch at JAR's behest, and then her abusive boyfriend comes in (he's working on rebuilding the gatehouse with Scott) and menaces her. JAR drinks some more and has a meltdown in front of Tad, telling him that his wife is a lesbian (no she's not). It's still bright and sunny outside.

Maya abandons her post, goes to the hospital, and tells Frankie she's ready for that babysitting job NOW. She goes over to the Hubbard's place where Jesse is having trouble coping with the fussy baby since the previous babysitter had abruptly quit. Jesse had previously had a heart-to-heart with Brot over Lucy's humble beginnings and how she ended up being his daughter. Angie and Frankie show up and Lucy settles right down in Maya's arms ('cause Maya is actually her birth mother, of course, unbeknownst to any of them). It's still bright and sunny outside.

Jane is dismissive of everyone at the intervention. Then David shows up and she tells them all that she loves him and they've been having sex. Jack, Opal and Greenlee storm out. Kendall and Bianca are hurt and horrified. Then David asks "Erica" to marry him. Jane has changed her clothes, but I don't think anyone else has. I'm pretty sure it's still bright and sunny outside.

Meanwhile, the real Erica is pouring her heart out in self-reflection, telling Ben about being raped at 14 and giving birth to Kendall. She remembers how badly she treated Mona and deeply regrets it, realizing how much her mother truly loved her and only wanted what was best for her (as opposed to THE BEST). She realizes that the revolving door of men in her life was really about her quest to find a kind and protective father figure, not one who allows her to be raped by a child-molester. And then things started bumping against the walls outside of Erica's dungeon and Ben went to investigate, all the while assuring her that it was nothing.  Presumably it's still bright and sunny outside.

Robin "and the day's not over yet" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 7/11/11

Amanda probably got the HPV from Jake. I thought it was particularly hypocritical of Amanda to tell JAR that from now one he should carry a condom and USE it! Pot. Kettle.

Oh come ON, Griff; just give it up and CRY already!

How many times are they going to zoom in on Griff's Project Orpheus badge? We G.E.T. it! Griff has a PO badge. Ryan didn't see it, so .... what?

Robin "each time they do that I become less interested in it" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 7/1/11

The bottoms of Erica's shoes are kind of dirty for just walking around her carpeted room & bathroom. Did Jane get them from Erica's closet or are they Jane's castoffs? Jane's already wearing last season's shoes while pretending to be Erica, so I can only imagine Erica's humiliation at wearing Jane's castoffs, even though Ben is the only one who sees her.

That crystal chandelier above/near Erica's bed looks like it could be useful for smashing into something, if only for the satisfaction of breaking it.

What did Madison do, put on black contacts that cover all of the whites of her eyes? She definitely looks like someone who would shoot Greenlee. I hope that suit of armor Greenlee has is bulletproof. My guess is that it WILL come into play in that respect and that Madison will somehow get hold of Ryan's gun that they so carefully tried to fool us with on his wedding day.

That medieval photo session with Ryan and Greenlee was the most animated I've seen them in a long time - maybe YEARS. I actually did NOT FF through it and kind of liked it, probably because it looked like they were genuinely having fun. They're probably relieved they can move on to something else soon, so they can relax - it's not like they are going to get fired at this point for not being overly soapy.

I think I'm jaded by short-timer's attitude at this point. There was a commercial on Soapnet about going there to keep tabs on who's coming and who's going. WTF? They're ALL going!

So Madison's new campaign is Angry, Harsh, Spiteful, Hateful, Man-Hating Bitch? Ooookaaay. Well, at least she bleached the black out of the whites of her eyes. That had to sting.

Every time I see Madison now I think of the evil uber-bitch, Katinka, in Zoolander. How long will it be before she accuses someone of wearing K-Mart clothes?

Why did Jane pass out? The only thing she hit on the way down was her hand, and that was on a lightweight piece of plastic.

Robin "that was HILARIOUS!  " Coutellier

BC - Thu-Fri, 6/23-24/11

Frankie highly recommends Maya as a babysitter for his little sister. Based on WHAT? He doesn't know anything about her other than that she seems nice, is a hard worker and recently gave away a baby. Neither he, Angie nor Maya realize that Lucy is Maya's biological child.

Why didn't Griff walk a few extra steps and put Madison on a bed instead of a leather sofa?

Griff carried Madison back to Kendall's place. Presumably they got in a vehicle at some point. Now Madison is leaving in Kendall's borrowed clothes; she just walks away. How is she planning to get to work (which is where she says she's going)? 

Robin "is the show going to go out with a bang?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 5/9/11

Is anyone else struck by how often spouses and sweethearts visit their loved ones at the hospital or other places of work?  Have you ever seen that in real life?  Yes, people occasionally will visit at their SO's place of work, particularly if it's an informal place, such as Krystal's but normally that would be frowned upon if it happened on a regular basis (even at Krystal's, if the person visiting was, for instance, the busperson's girlfriend or wife).  It's unprofessional.  It seems like Amanda goes to the hospital and makes out with Jake on a near-daily basis.

Tad thinks Cara has too much time on her hands because she alphabetized the spice rack.  What's wrong with that?  It can be difficult to find a particular spice; most of the containers look pretty much alike, after all.  The better stores alphabetize them.  I realize he's just antsy and thinks Cara would never think to do something like that if she weren't antsy, too, but I thought I'd throw in my opinion about alphabetizing spices :-)  Since they are both antsy, perhaps they should consider that they are both HORNY and just DO something about it.

Whatever the tabloid magazine is that eBabe is holding up, it costs $4.49 in Canada.  Are tabloids really THAT expensive nowadays?  Sheesh, how do they stay in business?  Who can afford to regularly buy them at THAT price.  I remember when they used to cost about 35 cents (which is about the last time I bought one).

Not only does the Yacht Club have rooms that only have flimsy louvered closet doors on each guest room (a long-time pet peeve of mine, as many of  you know), but the handles apparently don't have locks, either.

I see Griff is still wearing his Unibomber "yeah, I'll blend" disguise.

Wow, I did NOT expect it at ALL when Miranda got upset at school because a classmate called her mother a "Lezzie".  Is that going to be a whole storyline to try to keep viewers through September, or was it just an opportunity for eBabe and Bianca to bond over what a good Mom Bianca is?

I think Cara should be arrested for insisting on visiting the sick child against the parents' express wishes.  At the very LEAST she's probably trespassing.  Then the father walks in and finds Cara lovingly caressing his little girl's face!  I would go BALLISTIC if I were him!  If they don't have a restraining order on her yet, they should get one pronto so she CAN be arrested the next time.  It doesn't matter if the child wants her to visit!  Yeah, it's a sad situation, but it's none of Cara's business, particularly when she's already suffered repercussions for prior contact with the child.  Since Jake LET her do it after only giving lip-service to keeping her away from the child, both he and the hospital should be SUED!

Robin "in a much better mood today" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 5/2/11

I TOTALLY want to see Opal wear one of them there forehead-bound "fascinator" hats like those seen in the royal wedding last week.  She's an absolute natural for any one of them!  In fact, I'm kind of amazed we HAVEN'T seen her wear one so far (actually, we have, just not ones as ostentatious as those at the royal wedding).  Now that it's dubiously fashionable, though, we are probably more likely to see Erica (or possibly Greenlee, although she's been dressed down lately) wearing one.

Royal wedding hats (my particular fascination is with the blue hat in picture #11):

Since they are throwing in the towel anyway, I want to see Erica not only be called a Grandma (to her FACE), but I want her to do a "Ladypants" commercial   Those of you who watch "Hot In Cleveland" may remember that Victoria Chase (Wendie Malick), the fired soap diva (who considers Susan Lucci to be her arch enemy) desperately needed a job and finally gave in to an offer to do a commercial in Japan for incontinence slacks.  The YouTube of the resulting faux-commercial doesn't NEARLY convey the jokes from the show that resulted partly from the Japanese/English translation of instructions and descriptions!

Did you notice the sign on the wall when Scott and Madison were discussing possible delivery room attendees?  It simply stated:  CORRIDOR.  Um, isn't that kind of obvious?  It's not like it was "Corridor A", "Follow The Yellow Stripe" or the "Cindy Chandler Memorial Corridor" or anything like that.  It's like having a sign that says "hallway" or "road" just in case someone is confused and thinks they are in a living room or perhaps a backyard.

I almost barfed when Ricky told Opal that maybe it's the way that Kendall looks at him ("you") as if he's ("you're") the most important person in the world.  Huh?  The most important person in Kendall's world is Kendall.  I don't know if he's just schmoozing Opal, though, or if he believes that.

Oh, so there IS a cabbie in Pine Valley with enough common sense to realize that an 8-yr-old is too young to call and use a cab without any adult supervision whatsoever, no matter how much cash she flashes?  OTOH, Emma CALLED for a cab.  Unless there was an automated menu or she used a computer or smartphone to schedule the pickup, that means a dispatcher didn't think twice about sending a cabbie (with God knows WHAT kind of criminal background) to pick up someone who was quite obviously a child.

Stuart OWNED the gatehouse.  Wouldn't Scott own it now (although it could have been taken as part of his restitution for the Chandler fiasco)? 

JAR tells AJ that the Chandler mansion will always be safe (after a tree falls on the gatehouse).  Did he just chime the death knell for the Chandler mansion?  Are they going to blow it up (or away) by September, like Krystal blew up JAR's Duesenburg?

AJ and eBabe are going to fly a kite.  Is someone about to be electrocuted?  [Okay, I'll admit to be slightly more willing than usual to accept and even suggest/embrace grisly scenarios on AMC from here on out, but HEY!  *I'M* not the one who crashed a tree onto the beloved gatehouse.]

eBabe finally agrees to move in with JAR, but ONLY until she finds her own place to move into.  Is there a housing shortage in Pine Valley?  Why doesn't she just go find a place to move into?  Everyone else moves into the Yacht Club when they need a place to live, so why doesn't she just move in there again?  Lame, lame, lame.

LOD:
Greenlee tells Emma that the two of them are both kind of alike.  Emma:  "Yeah, you told me we were both BRATS."    She's going to be dressing Goth, piercing body parts, getting tattoos, and chain-smoking any day now :-)

Robin "GO EMMA!" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 4/29/11

Kendall discusses with Bianca how they are deceiving Ricky in order to trap him.  Then she says she sees him and has to go.  She takes TEN steps (I counted) to get to where he's already seated on a blanket.  Later she has the NEVER to criticize Griffin for getting too close -- he was farther away than SHE was when she was on the phone.  She has the brain of a flea!

Oh, Griff doesn't look suspicious at ALL in his sunglasses and pulled-up hoodie on a warm spring day.  That is, if you don't think someone who looks like the guy on The Unibomber wanted poster looked suspicious.

The kidnapper told Erica that Krystal couldn't hold a candle to HER.  Hmm, Colby really LIKES Krystal, so I'm not so sure she would say that.  OTOH, it's not like the writers have stayed true to the natures of various characters, anyway, so I'll stick with Colby still as my kidnapper-guessing de jour, although with slightly less conviction than I did in the last Boogie Chillen.

They DID mention Mike Roy, while pointedly NOT showing his photo.  OTOH, they mentioned all of Erica's husbands as she turned through the album made by the kidnapper.  I think THIS episode was written with the knowledge that the show had been cancelled, which makes me think at least ONE of the writers knew it had been cancelled before it had been announced since Erica had already been kidnapped right around the time they announced it. 

I like how they've consistently shown Erica's favorite food to be risotto.  It's a small thing, but it's a nice touch.  Too bad they can't remember the BIG things.  For instance, Erica has been known to get claustrophobic.  Remember her meltdown while she was in solitary confinement?

Why did they announce that AMC and OLTL will be cancelled when they weren't going to take them off the air for several months?  Maybe it was going to leak, especially if they were not renewing actors' contracts.  It's hard to watch commercials touting AMC and OLTL knowing that the shows have been cancelled.  It's like, what's the point?  If anything, it tempts me to stop watching altogether (I'm not going to do that until the bitter end, but if I'm a diehard fan and that's what I'm feeling, what about people who aren't as committed to the show?).  Yeah, they need advertisers and advertisers need viewers, but it's like a slap in the face every time they tell us to tune in to new and exciting episodes.

Robin "which makes me want to slap Fronz even harder" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 4/25/11

Is it my imagination or did they change the way the outside entrance to the Chandler mansion looks?  I noticed walls with latticework opposite the door and a low hedge that I don't recall being there before.  It was more open before this.  Also, Bianca and the kids entered from the side (to our left).  Before I'm pretty sure there was a wall (part of the mansion) there.  Has the mansion become part of a condo development now?

Scott tells Emma that he talked to Marissa about the treasure hunt, and it turns out that eBabe is going to be "Plantin' booty all over the place".  Really?  I guess eBabe is really getting around now that she's divorced.

Kendall and Ricky are at Fusion.  He said HIS first choice was a quiet night by the fire.  She says:  "Well, it's kind of quiet here ...".  She says this as the thumpa-thumpa music plays in the background.  What must go on in her head all day that thumpa-thumpa music sounds quiet?  Of course, we actually DID hear what was going on in her head this time.  She called Ricky a murderer and made other remarks inside her head about him being a fake and doing whatever he had to do to cozy up to people.

Uh, what just happened at the Chandler mansion while Kendall and Ricky were quietly talking over thumpa-thumpa music?  One minute AJ was telling Emma that her mommy hurt people, nobody likes her and no one wants her around.  The next time we see the children, they are all cheering and laughing about the upcoming treasure hunt.  I was expecting Emma to, at the very least, have an outburst, and, at the most, pull out a knife or strangle him -- you know, like Mother, like Daughter.

Wait a second.  It gets right down to the wire, the children are sent out to hunt treasure booty, and eBabe asks the new maid to go watch them?  Isn't that supposed to be a videocam moment for parents?  I know the Easter Egg hunt we had in our backyard on Easter was, and several parents and others were watching.  You had to watch FAST, though, because the little ones were like shrieking little vacuum cleaners ferreting out the plastic, candy-filled eggs in the yard and swooping them up with glee (5 kids from 2-7 years old, including a pair of 3-yr-old twins). 

Robin "it's something our grandparents would have done for us and it brings back loving memories" Coutellier

1957 - (that's me in the forefront)

BC - Mon, 4/18/11

Bianca tells eBabe that Miranda Center donors are pulling out with the news of Griffin stealing drugs.  eBabe reminds her that SHE is the Miranda Center, not Griff.  It got me to thinking that Kendall is also (ostensibly) a big part of it.  Kendall is the one that squealed on Griff, which means SHE knew about it and didn't say anything and allowed him to continue doing work for and at the Miranda Center.  In fact, Kendall is often being arrested or going on trial for one thing or another.  Why doesn't anyone connected with the Miranda Center care about THAT?

Jesse is being an asshole about the baby.  Hey, you chose to keep that baby, so DEAL with it and stop punishing the baby for it by treating it as a THING instead of a PERSON! 

Angie, holding the baby, feels her way to the table where Jesse is doing some police work.  She feels the back of the chair and starts to sit when Jesse helpfully pulls it closer to her.  Uh, she had already oriented herself to where the chair was -- it seems to me that moving a chair that a blind person is in the process of sitting down on is a boneheaded move (literally) to make.  If she were REALLY blind, I wouldn't be surprised to see her and the baby tumble to the floor! 

I still can't get over how all those people are in a different COUNTRY (or territory or overseas collectivity (of France) or whatever it's called), Erica suddenly disappears without a word to ANYONE, and most of them just LEAVE!

Griff should have Kendall tossed out of his room.  Guilty of the crime or not, she'd be on my shit-list if *I* were him.

Although I think she was there in the room with everyone else when Erica disappeared, I can almost see Greenlee behind the kidnapping.  She hates Erica and doesn't want her to marry Jackson.  Again.

Wouldn't it be FABULOUS if Vanessa Bennett Cortlandt was behind this?  I don't know why she would be, but at this point I also wouldn't care.  Bring Vanessa back to do some mayhem and amuse us, and then have Leo come in on the last day to take Greenlee away.  (Of course, if that's already the plan with the storyline as it is playing at the moment, then they would already know that the show was going to be cancelled, since this would have been taped before the announcement.)

Doesn't Griff have a guard that should be keeping people out of his room?

Robin "Oh look, Kendall bought a clue -- it's about time SWEETHEART" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 4/13/11

Reese is going to grant full custody to Bianca (she cannot "grant" it, only a judge can do that, but that's a nitpick) .  Well, that was a non-event storyline, wasn't it?

Is it my imagination, or was that wedding ring Bianca was holding HUGE?  It looked like it was the size of a guy's ring.

Robin "hmmm, Jack or Caleb?  No-brainer:  Jack" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 3/28/11

Pet peeve:  Jake holds up photos of Jesse and Angie and asks Tad which one is better.  All I could focus on was that he was putting his grubby hands all over the photos.  I HATE it when people do that.  Fingerprints get transferred and they WILL make a difference.  Have you ever scanned a photo with fingerprints on it?  It's quite obvious on a computer screen.  After 50-60 years, those prints are set in like cement.  What is so f**king difficult about handling photos by their edges?

Angie looks like she's about to barf.

Frankie and Randi start to make out in the Fusion elevator.  Then they slowly sink to the floor.  They're going to have sex on the floor of the elevator???  Ewwwww! 

Robin "Since there was no apparent purpose to that snip of a scene, I suppose they'll soon be expecting an elevator baby" Coutellier