BC - Thu, 2/26/09

Tivo's info for today's episode starts off with "Ryan plans to steal the casino". For some reason, I have this vision of Ryan, all dressed in black and wearing a ski mask, sneaking away on tiptoe with the entire casino on his back, hoping no one will notice.

The woman standing to the right of JAR while he gives his speech bears an amazing resemblance to Alex Haven's version of Babe. Is she Babe's ghost?

Let's analyze David's speech about Babe:

• "She led with her heart every single day." Well, that's not entirely true -- mostly she led with her crotch and her greed.

• "She embraced her family, her friends." She did so by keeping her best friend's baby, letting said best friend to think that her baby was dead. She embraced said best friend often to comfort her. In fact, she embraced a LOT of people (often).
  

• "She reached out to total STRANGERS." Yeah, just look at her first night in town. Married only 2-3 weeks, she hooked up with the first cute guy she found, who WAS a total stranger. He turned out to be her brother-in-law, but she didn't know that at first. He was also a minor who was still in high school, but that didn't appear to faze her, either.
  

• "She loved her son with the fierceness of a mama bear." Yup, to prove it, she abandoned the baby she effectively stole (by hiding the knowledge that it wasn't really HER baby once she found out), then stole her own son from his family (who didn't know he WASN'T really family) and took off with him for a life on the run with the guy she was shacking up with, leaving the baby's adoptive family AND her husband to think the baby was dead. To be fair, she did leave some notes letting people (including her husband) know that the baby heretofore known as Bess was actually Miranda; Bianca could have her back now, so no worries!

• "Babe was fearless in everything she did." I think he flubbed the line -- clearly he must have meant that she was SHAMELESS in everything she did.

Okay NOW I'm seeing some guilty feelings from Kendall about Greenlee. I disagree with some people that Greenlee is partly responsible for the accident by driving too fast on a windy road that she didn't know in inappropriate clothes. Yeah, she shouldn't have been doing that, but it's not like she was drunk or that SHE caused the accident -- at least SHE was on the right side of the road. Kendall, who shouldn't have been driving at ALL, was driving on the WRONG side of the road, and ANY oncoming traffic would have had to take evasive action and could have lost control or had no other option than to go over a cliff or be hit head-on. You might survive going over a cliff, but a head-on impact has a MUCH higher likelihood of being fatal (I learned that in traffic school a long time ago).

Ryan is SUCH a fucking hypocrite! He lambastes Reese, saying she's just like Zach -- incredibly selfish and to HELL with everybody else. I think I feel my dinner coming up!

My, my, Krystal's come full circle, hasn't she? She started out fudging the DNA test of Bess/Miranda before the baby was even born (in a memorable scene whereby we saw her wiping her mouth after leaving a satisfied-looking lab tech) to show that JAR was the father. It was unknown at that time if JAR or Jamie was the father. After the baby switch, it was eventually revealed that not only was JAR NOT the father, but Babe was not the mother). Once Krystal and Babe realized that Bess was actually Miranda, they thought Babe's real baby had died and she persuaded Babe to keep Bianca's baby as her own. Now she's making Jake and Amanda promise to not ever let JAR know that he's not the father of Amanda's baby. They don't want him to know that, either, but that's not really the point. Krystal is STILL playing fast and loose when it comes to DNA and protecting her OWN interests. She SAYS she doesn't want JAR to be hurt (the same justification she used for keeping Bianca's baby), but the truth is that she doesn't want David's attention diverted to a "shiny new baby".

Robin "she is PATHETIC!" Coutellier

BC - Tue-Wed, 2/24-25/09

Isn't the benefit (or is it just a launch party?) for the Babe Chandler wing supposed to be some sort of "gala"? Why would David a) wait until the day before the event to even START planning it, and b) why would Krystal be working on it? I mean, REALLY! David could afford to hire professional party planners; for that matter CAMPBELL'S can afford to do so. They keep saying that Campbell's is part of it, but I don't see Campbell's pitching in except to provide LOTS of tomato-based products and send a couple of representatives to the party. You'd think they would want more say in the matter. For all they know, there are erotic cakes on display for dessert.

For that matter, who would WANT to go to the party? Babe was hardly a saint, even if the show kept trying to cram down our throats that she was despite YEARS of evidence to the contrary. "Babe" is a STUPID and downright OFFENSIVE name for a hospital wing. NOBODY other than Krystal even LIKES David. Krystal, herself, isn't too high on most people's lists right now. The only reason I can think of for people to even attend the party is for free drinks which, unfortunately, will probably mostly consist of more tomato and fruit drinks. The Chandlers were there because of Babe (as long as all the Chandlers are going to be there, maybe they should get their lungs and blood checked for toxicity after Adam burned Little A's car in the fireplace). I hope Krystal calls in her trucker friends to make it memorable. At least then Winnie would show up.

Again, WHY isn't Annie in a locked ward? She KILLED and TRIED to kill several people, but she's right there in a VERY open room with no kind of fetters whatsoever, just because her doctor was trying to kill HER and was treating her unethically. The fact that her doctor was a whackjob doesn't make Annie any LESS of a whackjob OR less likely to do harm to someone. Don't they at least have a locked psych ward to keep her in temporarily? For that matter, why is she still there at ALL? She got a bump/cut on the head, and for that she's taking up a BED in a private room? They could have treated THAT at Oakhaven. If the private room were at least LOCKED that might be acceptable, given the circumstances, but this is just plain wasteful and ludicrous! At one point (when she DID start to freak out), a uniformed man came in, but it was unclear if that was a police officer or hospital security. Either way, he didn't look like he was sticking around very closely.

Who sprang for all the hospital staff to wear red scrubs during the day BEFORE the party? That's not what they usually wear (I would hope not, since patients really don't want to be reminded of blood any more than necessary). David probably made everyone get new red scrubs for the day (and ONLY that day) and then docked their pay for it. Did Campbell's pay for the scrubs (they SHOULD have since it's basically advertising)? I would think that money would have been better spent on ACTUAL health care. They also put down red carpets for the party -- how many immunizations for children could THAT have paid for? It was probably a rented rug, but still ...

Robin "it was a pretty dull party as soap parties go" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 2/23/09

It is SUCH a cliche on soaps that people can get custody of children based on a parent being unfaithful! Having sex (or not, in this case), has no bearing on whether or not a person is a good PARENT. Unless Reese is going out into the streets and bringing junkies and child molesters home to have sex in front of the kids, it's a moot point!

Considering the INCREDIBLY creepy way David is keeping tabs on Amanda's pregnancy, why doesn't Amanda just go somewhere else for pre-natal care? Frankie isn't even an OB/GYN! I suppose I can see why she has to keep seeing him NOW, though, since he's already fudged the records to indicate David is NOT the father and a new doctor would probably not go along with that, but David is so up in her business over it that I'm surprised he doesn't just reach down every time she walks by and do an impromptu pelvic exam while she's still in mid-stride. For that matter, it would not surprise me in the LEAST if he were to walk into an exam room while she IS having a pelvic exam do EXACTLY that, shoving Frankie aside so that he can gauge for himself the gestation period based on the size of her uterus. Honestly, that whole angle of the storyline just makes my SKIN crawl!

You know, as much as I can't stand him, I don't BLAME Ryan for slamming his door in people's faces and ordering them out of his life/penthouse right now. He's still trying to wrap his head around losing Greenlee and all these other people are insistently nattering at him to deal with THEIR PROBLEMS. WTF? Give the man at least a DAY, why don't you? People in PV are so RUDE!

They said before that the downstairs bedroom was made into a hospital room for Kendall. She's home about 1.5 days before she's up and driving all over the place and now she's had the room made up for Zach so she can to up the stairs to their usual bedroom.

Robin "I wonder if the downstairs bedroom now has a sign on the door that says FIDO" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 2/20/09

Has Ray MacDonnell (Joe) been sick lately? He's not looking so good compared to the last time we saw him. He's in his 80s and still looks damn FINE, all things considered, but this is the first time he's ever looked "old" to me. It may be just that he's gained some weight. He looks kind of puffy. And right when I say that, Joe gets ill, so maybe part of it was makeup. My guess is that Ray is retiring pretty soon. That was unquestionably a pass-the-torch speech he gave to Jake and Tad.

Does Krystal EVER listen to herself. She's describing David and it sounds just like the way she described ADAM (hard to deal with, but she loves him anyway). What IS it with her falling for such assholes?

Considering KENDALL is the one who was driving on the wrong side of the road and her best friend ended up going over a cliff because of it, she's amazingly calm. I know she's mad at Zach and Reese and Bianca, but you'd think she would be eaten up with guilt over what she did to GREENLEE. Even if it were a STRANGER she had forced off the road, she should be feeling SOMETHING besides anger at other people.

Kendall told Jesse that Ryan's grief is turning him into a different person. No it's not. He ALWAYS gets like that when he's got a bee up his butt about something. ALWAYS. He jumps to conclusions, blames people with a blazing hot intensity (wrongly or rightly) and seeks revenge. It's what he DOES and Kendall should know that by now.

Robin "I was so hoping he'd follow the flowers off the roof" Coutellier

BC - Thu - 2/19/09

There's been a lot of discussion about Kendall's totally unrealistic movements since her heart transplant and the possibly of her chest breaking open again (driving, climbing down cliffs, (giving BIG, HARD hugs) etc). It got me to thinking ... she's probably wearing a tight, uncomfortable bra. What's the rule on bra wearing after open heart surgery? Then again, that may be the only thing holding her ribs together at this point. If she takes it off, she's liable to BLOW like a kernel of popcorn in a microwave.

Speaking of Kendall's breast area, did she get them enhanced during her coma? My sister asked that and she may be right. They aren't glaringly obvious like Erica's, but they DO seem somewhat bigger now. Maybe Zach slipped David a little something extra to enhance them as long as he was already futzing around in the general area. Maybe Josh donated his balls, too

Did you see the SIZE of that needle Dr. Sinclair was brandishing??? Do they even MAKE needles that big for PEOPLE? It wasn't a needle so much as an ice pick! I find it hard to believe it went through Sinclair's arm without sticking out on the other side and downright IMPOSSIBLE to believe she didn't feel it going in.

Why on EARTH would Emma be with Kendall right now? Ryan now HATES Zach and Kendall isn't in any condition to be taking care of kids right now.

Wait a second -- how the HELL did Aidan manage to take Annie, who IS still a patient/prisoner at Oakhaven, to PVH? Just because Annie's doctor tried to kill Annie and inadvertently ended up getting stuck with the horse-needle herself doesn't mean that Annie isn't still INCARCERATED. The administrator (wasn't he fired?) was even standing right there! Annie should have been hustled off to another room, not left alone with Aidan with her door hanging open! Even Angie was concerned about her safety when left alone with Annie in an exam room. If Annie had to go to the hospital, she should have an armed guard(Aidan doesn't count).

I don't feel even REMOTELY sorry for Ryan. He walks into the penthouse feeling desolate and angry and I just don't care. At all.

If Bianca's lawyer already knew that Reese has parental rights as far as Gabrielle goes, why was she trying so hard to make Reese sign the papers? Reese was right to rip the papers up, not only because she does not want an annulment, but because she has NO legal representation as far as the annulment, property or child custody goes! Bianca IS being a bitch and out-of-character, but I don't think it's THAT out-of-character for anyone, even the sweetest person in PV, to go into full-on bitch mode in that kind of situation. It doesn't help, but it IS realistic. When it comes to people getting divorces (or annulment's), just about ANY kind of behavior can emerge.

Robin "and EVERYONE had better duck!" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 2/18/09

A news headline today said that a 200 lb chimp went on the attack in Connecticut. I CAN'T be the only person who immediately thought of Ryan when they heard that! Some of you newer viewers may or may not have noticed us here on R.A.T.S.A. or A.T.AMC occasionally referring to Ryan as a chimp. The history of that goes back to when Gillian died. The way Cameron Mathison chose to emote was to keep putting his hands on his head in a very chimp-like manner. That's his method of being dramatic (that and hitting people and whisper-shouting). It's only a matter of time before he starts flinging his poop at Zach.

Aidan punches Ryan pretty damn hard (at least according to the sound effects) and Ryan barely even reacts to it other than turning his head slightly. There isn't a single mark, red, white or otherwise on his forehead where Aidan's fist presumably connected. I'm tellin' ya, that guy IS made of titanium.

Jesse threatens to arrest both Aidan and Ryan if they don't knock it off. As mentioned on R.A.T.S.A., Jesse has no jurisdiction in Connecticut. Of course, that's a minor detail. IIRC, Derek was arresting people in Jamaica back in the Hayley/Mateo/Noah/Julia days.

I noticed that CM has a hoarse voice now, too. Whatever that upper respiratory thing is, it's SWEEPING through the cast. First Susan Lucci, then Chrishell Stause (Amanda), and now CM.

Why are Bianca and Reese at Kendall and Zach's place acting like Bianca is suddenly moving out on Reese? Didn't they both ALREADY move into the casino? Now Bianca is saying she thought she'd stay with Erica at the casino. Maybe she's leaving the suite all to Reese. If Reese is still in the suite at the casino, then they'll still be running into each other all the time (and Zach, as someone mentioned). Zach is going to be getting shit at home AND at work.

Robin "like I said: neutered" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 2/17/09

They're in Connecticut -- so why is JESSE involved in the search and rescue? He wasn't even at the wedding.

Again, they are in CONNECTICUT, which is where Kendall collapsed -- so why is David examining Kendall at PVH?

I'm pretty sure that the taped confession Annie made to the doctor would NOT be admissible in a court of law. For one thing, she is not in POLICE custody, she was not read her rights as far as her being in the loony bin go (in JAIL, maybe, but not in a medical treatment facility), and she was not informed that their "sessions" were being recorded. Also, is she being represented by counsel? At the very LEAST she should have a public defender or some kind of "guardian ad litem" to look out for her interests, but there doesn't appear to be anything of the kind in place. The Defense has a right to have her examined by an independent psychiatrist. I would think that would be REQUIRED, for that matter, before a competency hearing for purposes of standing trial could be held.

Why is Amanda wearing such a tiny little coat and a v-necked top (and no gloves) out in the snow? JAR isn't wearing gloves, either. Then he sat on the cement bench near Babe's grave. My first thought was that his butt must be FREEZING. Then Amanda sat next to him. Now there are TWO freezing butts. They didn't even clear the snow off of them first!

Robin "do they have soggy butts now?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 2/16/09

And now our heart transplant patient is being jerked around in a careening car (I know what THAT feels like) and climbing down cliffs. According to Ruby Vee, a nurse who posts on R.A.T.S.A.), a person who has had their breastbone sawed open and then wired shut needs at least SIX WEEKS of favoring the sternum and lifting no more than 5 lbs lest the breastbone pop right open again. As usual, Kendall rarely uses her brain before she acts.

I was disappointed that Erica didn't say anything about Mona being proud of Bianca and wishing she could be there? It was nice for Jack to tell Bianca that her father, Travis, would be proud of her.

Does it seem a little odd to anyone else that there aren't any gay/lesbian friends of either of the brides at the wedding? They used to include extras at all the soap weddings, but this was a particularly low-attendance one. You'd think there would be at least ONE person there besides Bianca that was supportive to Reese. Of course, that may be deliberate to underscore how much of an outsider she is. Bianca has alluded to some gay/lesbian friends in PV in the past. That said, since they've been showing the two of them as a couple for quite a while now, within the context of the show itself, I didn't really think of it as a "same-sex wedding" so much as simply a "wedding". I tend to think of it as of a "same-sex wedding" when I see the various external references to it, though.

I know this wedding was supposed to be small, intimate affair, but you'd think there would be at least SOMEONE outside of the immediate circle of PV's usual movers and shakers. For that matter, why weren't Sean, Molly and, yes, even BARBARA there? Bianca lived with them from the time she was six to sixteen, after all. How about Reggie and Lily? (Lily would, of course, have to wear sunglasses what with all the red abounding on the set lately.) Valentine's Day was a Saturday this year, so having to be in school is no excuse. Joe has been around all of Bianca's life -- is he still visiting an aunt or whatever, out of state? Palmer should have been there, too, but I'll cut him some slack since he's really getting on in years. Mary Smythe should have been there, but Greenlee did pretty much give her the boot, so that one's iffy. Jack has a sister, That-Kit-Fisher-Person (tm by EEK) who should be there for at least ONE of her niece's weddings. Ryan ... hmmmm ... well, everyone in Ryan's family dies just to get away from him, even the PRETEND ones, and no one REALLY likes him, anyway.

Robin "now that Greenlee's been in a horrible accident & Reese and Zach's kiss is exposed, does this mean there's not going to be cake?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 2/13/09

Kendall could barely WALK or even SIT UP a couple of days ago, but now she's wandering around the hotel, rushing around and driving? As we predicted (made MUCH easier by tell-all promos), Kendall has had a MIRACULOUSLY speedy recovery from a 4-month coma AND a heart transplant.

If Kendall was supposed to be a Maid Of Honor, why is she wearing a hat, thereby squishing down her hair and giving her hat-head? And why the sudden wave of hats (remember Angie was wearing one the other day)?

Zach KNOWS how pissed off Kendall is at him for siring Gabrielle, ESPECIALLY when she sees him with her, so why does he keep picking up the baby to soothe it every time it gets even remotely fussy?

The Kane women sure do like big oval mirrors on their wedding days.

Ugh, I *HATE* Bianca's dress! Reese's isn't so anything to write home about, either, but Bianca's is SOOOO unflattering to her! I'm VERY disappointed.

Why isn't Greenlee afraid of her long dress (or veil) getting caught in/under the wheels of the motorcycle? Apparently she's never seen the end of the movie "Isadora" (1968). (GMTA, Aisling!) I was amazed that there wasn't a Youtube clip (that I could find) of THAT scene -- it was QUITE memorable! For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Isadora Duncan, a famous dancer, died in 1927 of a broken neck when one of the long, flowing scarves she was so fond of wearing trailed romantically behind her in a car -- and then got caught in the spokes of one of the rear wheels.

What IS it about AMC and motorcycles going cliffs? For that matter, why does everyone in town eventually fall over some precipice or another? Off the top of my head:

• Ryan drove his motorcycle over a cliff

• Tad and Billy Clyde Tuggle got blown off a high bridge

• Tad and Brooke drove off a cliff, or at least down an embankment way back in Brooke's reporter days

• Bianca was pushed over a balcony

• Mia fell or was pushed out of a 3rd floor window

• JAR jumped out of a fourth floor window

• Erica fell off a scaffolding

• Greg Nelson fell off a scaffolding

• Leo and his mother fell off Miller's Falls

• Hannah fell off Miller's Falls

• Dr. Lazare fell off a cliff or bridge

• Lars Bogard fell off the back of a cruise ship

• Maria and an entire crashed plane fell (or was pushed by Brooke, depending on your point of view) off a cliff

• Annie jumped off the balcony of the Penthouse and (hilariously) immediately got up and ran away

• Leslie Coulsen fell off the top of the Chandler Enterprises building

• Helga fell off a castle-like structure in Hungary

• Countless people have ALMOST gone over the top of the Fusion building (has anyone ever succeeded?)
  

Robin "any more?" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 2/12/09

How do you leave a door unlocked (Annie's room at Oakhaven) that locks automatically?

Why would Ryan and Greenlee travel up to the wedding separately?

Okay, Ryan said something about Emma being taken care of for the evening festivities and Rachel is apparently coming up to take care of her after the wedding. What about Spike and Ian? Ryan says Spike is sick -- either he is or he was just TOLD that because Kendall wasn't going to go. If Rachel didn't know Spike was sick, who is taking care of Spike and Ian now that Kendall and Zach ARE going to the wedding? Spike doesn't appear to be with Ryan, and Kendall is NOT up to full-time childcare at the moment.

Apparently Kendall never wants to see Bianca ever again -- at least she never wants Zach to see his baby (or Reese) ever again.

Does Kendall know yet that Zach is the one who shot Josh?

Aidan and Dr. Sinclair both KNOW that Annie will go after Greenlee and try to kill her. Neither of them seems concerned with letting Greenlee and/or Ryan know that Annie has escaped (again) and is gunning for them, though.

How did Annie get all the way from Oakhaven, which is presumably in Pine Valley, all the way to the Inn in Connecticut with no money or resources? She probably assaulted someone and stole whatever she needed. She always WAS resourceful.

If Ryan and Greenlee rode up on their bikes, how did Emma (who walked in with them) get there? It kind of seems like Ryan did NOT take his motorcycle, unless it was being towed behind him or attached to an SUV.

Maybe Gabrielle was crying because she didn't like her face being smushed up against the hard sparklies on Opal's dress.

Should Kendall really be drinking alcohol so soon after her transplant? Wouldn't that interfere with her medications?

Oh puh-leeze! Zach is already in such hot water with Kendall and now he's making out with REESE? Yeah, we saw it coming, but for all he professes to love Kendall and he'll stick it out with her, etc., that's just bogus, even if he IS feeling a lack of nookie.

Robin "he should get used to THAT feeling for a while" Coutellier