BC - Mon, 4/4/11

Okay, I can hear the montage song now for when the baby has to go back to its biological mother (during May sweeps?):  You Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me, Lucille ...

What kind of cabbie (other than a child molester) picks up a 7-8-yr-old girl by herself, drops her off by herself with no intervention whatsoever by any adults?  And why aren't any of the adults questioning it?

Ryan makes Emma apologize to Greenlee and Greenlee says she doesn't have to and that it's partly her own fault for not keeping a better eye on Emma.  Bullshit!  It is NOT okay!  And no, Greenlee does NOT have to worry about Emma sneaking out again because Greenlee is going to have bars put on Emma's doors and windows so Emma isn't going ANYWHERE the next time she's alone with Greenlee. 

I LOVE that Emma is going off on Greenlee in that someone has to, but as a general rule, it's better to put the kibosh on that kind of behavior.  I would NEVER have gotten away with that when I was a kid, traumatized or not.  Given all Emma has been through with her interchangeable alternate parents, though, she's amazingly well-adjusted.  Even so, if I were Greenlee, I would take a pass on Emma making me breakfast in bed for Mother's Day.

Robin "Admit it -- how many of you have the song 'Lucille' going through your head now?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 4/1/11

Who is the baby's father?  Maybe they can bring Reggie back into the picture.
When Amanda says her feet have been hurting lately, Jake says it's probably because she's been out of practice with the whole high-heel thing.  Really?  Amanda is usually all dressed up with no place to go, so I highly doubt THAT is the reason.

Wow, I can't believe they used the word "vaginal" on a soap!  OTOH, it would be pretty silly to hear two doctors referring to a va-jay-jay birth.  Then, later in the same episode, Jesse referred to Tad bringing in the "biggest-ass bear" for the baby.  While it was, indeed, a ridiculously large, bigass teddy bear (or as Tad says, TADDY bear), I had to wonder at the liberal use of normally taboo words they've used twice in one show.  And THEN Tad tells Cara a joke with the punchline being "would you believe it started out as a bump on my ass?"  New writer?  Did ABC daytime send out a memo?  The next thing you know, Jesse is going to be talking about baby shit.

Robin "and Krystal be serving shit-on-a-shingle (she already does, but they'll actually list it as such on their menu)" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 3/31/11

Cara calls Jake and tells him that Angie had the baby and it was not delivered in the hospital.  Jake tells Amanda (with whom he has been making out) about it.  Amanda says:  "You make calls, I'll drive!"  Then they leave.  Uh, where's Trevor?

This baby story is making me SICK!  Jesse and Angie's baby DIED, and not only does Jesse hand over the abandoned baby to her as their own, but he has Brot bury his bio daughter ... where?  A state park?

I know Jesse is overwhelmed and realizes he made a really stupid decision (and involved Brot in it), but this is SO wrong on SO many levels!  You'd think he would have at least thought back to when Frankie was a baby and his father-in-law was the kingpin of a baby-stealing/selling operation.  Jesse and Angie had to go through a lot just to get Frankie back after her father convinced her to give the baby up (he then SOLD Frankie).  The birth mother will want her baby back eventually and Jesse won't have a leg to stand on now that there is technology to identify DNA.  For that matter, for all they know, the birth mother was NOT the person who put the baby in the car.  What if someone stole her baby from HER and then did that?  They know NOTHING about the baby.

Jesse has to make this RIGHT!

Robin "he will, but how long will it take and will he be FORCED into it?" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 3/30/11

What kind of cop leaves his police car unlocked while he goes on foot patrol?

Doesn't anyone ever say "No" to AJ?  You know what happens to little boys who never hear the world "No"?  They grow up to be JAR.

Was I the only one that DID hear a brief baby's cry (the baby was still not all the way out)?  It was not coming from the baby in the squad car.

Oh, I do NOT like this storyline of Angie and Jesse's baby dying and Jesse and Brot swapping in the abandoned baby.  That is all kinds of wrong!  It's bad enough that their baby died!  Of course, I haven't seen Thursday's show yet -- maybe they WON'T swap the baby, but the temptation will probably be too great and they WILL.

I can understand why Jesse might not have any kind of first-aid equipment with him since he was off-duty, but Brot should have had SOMETHING in his squad car to treat Angie and/or the baby (like an air pump, sterile gloves, moist towelettes ... SOMETHING.

Robin "PVPD: always prepared (to do the inept thing)" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 3/29/11

Remember back when Colby was with her friends (Dre, etc.) and Petey was hanging around her constantly?  They had a storyline that she had a drinking problem but then dropped it.  I'm kind of surprised they haven't restarted it what with her current problems.  If anything could drive someone to drink, it would be finding out that your mother had sex with the boy/man you loved.  OTOH, it's nice to see someone working through it without resorting to substances, not that airing one's dirty laundry on youtube or pvtube or whatever is particularly healthy.

It's ridiculous that Krystal is running a business, yet she's STILL Jack's paralegal (a job for which she has no qualifications whatsoever).

Caleb tells Erica that he's waited a long time to feel alive again.  He delivers the line with all the energy and passion of someone waiting for an article about pork futures to load on the CNN website.

Line Of The Day:
Jack explains how the dockworkers helped him rescue Krystal from the water.  Erica:  "Well, how lucky the FLEET was in!"    Meee-ow!

JAR tells AJ that his mother IS going to come back to the house an they'll all be a family again.  That's a PROMISE.  What an arrogant asshole!

Robin "Have I ever mentioned that I think JAR is an asshole?  Oh yeah - a LOT" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 3/28/11

Pet peeve:  Jake holds up photos of Jesse and Angie and asks Tad which one is better.  All I could focus on was that he was putting his grubby hands all over the photos.  I HATE it when people do that.  Fingerprints get transferred and they WILL make a difference.  Have you ever scanned a photo with fingerprints on it?  It's quite obvious on a computer screen.  After 50-60 years, those prints are set in like cement.  What is so f**king difficult about handling photos by their edges?

Angie looks like she's about to barf.

Frankie and Randi start to make out in the Fusion elevator.  Then they slowly sink to the floor.  They're going to have sex on the floor of the elevator???  Ewwwww! 

Robin "Since there was no apparent purpose to that snip of a scene, I suppose they'll soon be expecting an elevator baby" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 3/25/11

How do these bachelor auctions work as far as who pays for the date?  Presumably the bidder does, but the bidder has already paid a hefty sum for charity.  Is the bachelor supposed to pay for it?  If so, how would Scott pay for it given that he and Madison are living (in his words) on freezer-burned chicken, and pasta shells?

Ryan tells JAR he took him off the Oakhaven list as Annie's emergency contact.  What authority did he have to do that?  He's Annie's EX-husband, nothing more.  If anything, there should probably be some sort of conservatorship/guardian situation going on since she doesn't even HAVE anyone close enough to make emergency contact-type decisions on her behalf.  Her father hates her, she's not married anymore and she has no friends other than Amanda, who is only sort of a friend.

Given his suspicions about Ricky, why hasn't Griffin had Ricky investigated?  I can't believe NO ONE in Pine Valley has seen anything along the lines of a church or congregation and they don't have any questions about it.

Does JAR still have the phone numbers for his favorite twins, Candi and Brandi?

Robin "maybe they can help take his mind off of eBabe" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 3/24/11

Isn't the bachelor auction about to happen, like "today" at  PVH?  So why is JAR only just now hearing about it from Amanda?  Why is pretty much everyone only just NOW recruiting people?

Griff's a doctor, right?  He knows lots of rich people in PV (like Kendall, for instance).  Why doesn't he just BUY antibiotics to send overseas instead of stealing them from his workplace?  Yeah, I know it would mess with the storyline to do something, oh, I don't know, LOGICAL, but really, this is just plain stupid.  He says he meant to do it with the money Zach was going to give him from the casinos, but now that's in limbo.  WTF?  Just how many antibiotics IS he stealing from PVH?  If he has to wait for the big windfall from the sale of the casinos, that's a SHITLOAD of antibiotics which, generally speaking, are much cheaper than MOST medicines except for the super-antibiotics.  A 10-day supply of Amoxicillan from Walmart (WITHOUT insurance) is around $4.  He must need a forklift to do the swiping from PVH drug cabinets in order for it to be too expensive for him to buy on his own (he must have a credit card or two) or enlist the help of all those rich people. 

It's pretty hypocritical of Griffin to write a blank check to give to Cara to make sure someone other than Kendall bids on him (and wins) at the bachelor auction rather than just buying some antibiotics with it to send overseas.

I'm not buying Ricky with Diana.  Between her harsh, cold attitude and her size (she's kind of an amazon) she's not very feminine, no matter how much makeup or jewelry she wears.  Every time I look at her I wonder if she's a guy in drag.  She also reminds me of Grace Jones and the dominatrix in Zoolander, especially with those wing-like things she likes to wear.  I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley (or even a well-lit one).  Maybe it's the blunt-cut bangs and all that sneering.

Robin "she scares me" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 3/23/11

Bianca is an heiress and a business mogul in her own right.  She has big bucks and two small children.  Reese wants to take the children away (and possibly a lot of her money).  So what does Bianca do?  She hires a newly minted lawyer.  I don't think eBabe even has an office.  Her license probably hasn't even arrived in the mail yet.  She has NO experience whatsoever in divorce cases other than her own (where she just got fooled).  Hiring eBabe is a pretty stupid move for such a smart woman.

Why is Caleb even in Pine Valley?  He's a non-player.  All he does is stand around and brood and Michael Nouri is just phoning his lines in.

Erica and Jack have set a wedding date:  May 14, 2011 (a Saturday).  We'll see.

Did I miss an episode?  Nope, I see I did a Boogie Chillen for Tuesday.  All this stuff with Griff going to the casino and trying to force himself into Diana's office and consequently being beaten up seems to have happened off-camera.  I even went so far as to fish Monday and Tuesday's episodes out of the Tivo recycle bin to double-check.  The last we saw of Griffin he was about to escort Kendall to her car after it was verified that the fund-raising event had been canceled.

Wow, that was a loud snowball.  What are those snowballs made of, rocks?

What grounds would Reese have for getting sole custody of either ONE of the girls?  How heinous, irresponsible and unfit is Bianca as a mother that Reese would be able to do that?  And has Reese become a French citizen?  They have as much as said that the lawyers for Reese will try to get the girls back to France and the French courts will then give sole custody to Reese.  I'm under the impression that they are ALL American citizens, so why would the French courts favor Reese who, as it has been pointed out numerous times, has not even made the slightest effort to see the girls in a very long time.  Where has she been, prison?  If not, there isn't any valid reason for her not to have done so.

Here's a thought:  Reese may become engaged to a man so she can renounce being a lesbian and marry him (or at least SAY that's the case) in order to get custody.  Then she can attack Bianca as being unfit for still being a lesbian.  Of course, if push comes to shove, Bianca could do the same thing.  It wouldn't be believable for either one of them to hook up with a man, considering they are well-established as lesbians, but believability has never stopped the writers at AMC, and it would be a storyline they haven't done on AMC yet.  Reese might have a slight edge in that she at least TRIED to be heterosexual before she met Bianca, but Bianca has never been anything but gay, having only had one dismal date in high school to try to fit in.

Caleb tells eBabe that he doesn't really want to run Cortlandt Electronics without Erica.  Good.  Leave.

If Kendall didn't know Griff was in the hospital room with Cara and Tad, why did Kendall so boldly stride into it as it if were her destination?  She seemed utterly surprised to see him there.  She had to know Cara had just walked in, yet she didn't even glance at Cara as she strode in, making me think Cara was not the reason for her intrusion. 

Robin "but then, Kendall reasons rarely make sense" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 3/22/11

Does everyone in Pine Valley ONLY look at Pine Valley-centric things on the internet?  Does EVERYONE know about EVERY video that "goes viral"?  There are millions of things to see on the internet, yet every time anyone in PV puts anything up, regardless of the site, seemingly everyone in town (except the computer-phobic ones like Caleb) has seen it.  And Liza knows better than to go back to the place where she humiliated herself, yet she goes anyway, and wearing a tight, one-shouldered top, at that.  What time of day is it?  Is that what she wore to work as the DA?  I've made some questionable fashion choices in my working days, but I was a lot younger and I wasn't the DA.

Will Miranda Google her name and find out that she was switched at birth with AJ, JAR was her "father", a woman named after a pig was her "mother", JAR fought giving her up even when he knew she was not his biological child, and he pushed her mother over a balcony (not to mention that she was a product of rape and her mother killed her biological father and her Auntie Kendall stood trial for it)?  Of course, some of those details could get lost in all the links that would come up mentioning Erica Kane, Kendall Hart and Bianca Montgomery and involving the keywords murder, rape, trial, kidnapping, embezzlement, prison, escape, marriage, drug addiction, unabortion, divorce, coma and serial killer, along with assorted everyday keywords such as perfume, eyeliner, supermodel and fashion.

I became curious after writing the above paragraph, so I went to Wikipedia and googled some characters.  Bingo!  There are Wikipedia links for:

Bianca Montgomery
Kendall Hart
Erica Kane
Jackson Montgomery
Travis Montgomery
Barbara_Montgomery
Adam Chandler
JAR Chandler
AJ Chandler (aka Adam Chandler III)
Babe Carey
Richard Fields
Children Of All My Children
and many more, I'm sure

Reese was building a house in Paris for Bianca before they got married.  Who will get the house in the divorce settlement?

Look, there are Bianca and eBabe in the same scene.  Nope, still can't tell them apart at first glance.  Even their hair color is similar.

There were 8 candles  on AJ and Miranda's birthday cake.  AJ was six last year when he decided he wanted to be called AJ.  So is one of the candles "one to grow on"?  Once again, poor little rich boy AJ has a dismal party consisting of his parents, Miranda and Miranda's mom.  That's it.  So not only does he not have a lot of kids at the party, he has to SHARE the cake and attention with a GIRL!  And vice-versa for Miranda.  Where is Gabrielle?  She IS Miranda's sister, after all.

Erica and Caleb talk about getting a younger celebrity to draw in a younger customer base for Cortlandt Electronics.  Colby comes in bragging about her video blog fanbase and it's practically a done deal.  Cortlandt is a well-established multi-billion dollar corporation.  Can't they afford to get a REAL celebrity? 

Then Erica nudges Caleb to hire Asher to head up the project.  Yeah, because Asher not only knows everything there is to know about computers, but he has lots of management experience (consisting of stalking, corporate espionage, planting viruses, hitting people over the head and being an overall henchman for Cortlandt's arch-enemy).  Plus he has a semi-romantic involvement with their new spokesperson, who is currently a hot mess.  What could possibly go wrong?  (For one thing, I doubt either Colby or Asher even know their own social security numbers, although I suspect Asher knows a lot of OTHER people's social security numbers.)

Well, now we have the answer on the adoption issue -- Reese DID legally adopt both Gabrielle and Miranda, and now she is going for full custody of both children.

Hey, JAR.  Time to give your henchman a raise to keep him on your side.  Oops, too late.  Said henchman has decided that his nefarious workdays are a thing of the past.

Erica one-ups (or one-downs, as the case may be) Liza's one-shoulder top by wearing a one-shoulder, OFF-the-shoulder dress, thus baring both shoulders.  Is it a subliminal display of power between two rivals?

Is Angie going to stay blind?  The strain of childbirth or the surge of hormones might magically fix her eyes.  Hey, it's Pine Valley -- it could happen!  In fact, maybe someone should just bonk her on the head and it will clear it right up, like slapping the side of a TV set in the olden days used to work when the horizontal hold ceased to hold.  She'd never see it coming, after all


Jack pulled some strings and now he and Erica can have that special vacation that she wanted; the one that has been booked for 2 years and they couldn't get previously.  Erica is thrilled.  Something tells me there's a prospective honeymoon couple on their FIRST wedding who is now bitterly disappointed that their own pre-booked dream honeymoon vacation has been scuttled at the last minute.

Robin "well, my goodness I'm wordy today" Coutellier