BC - Fri, 3/25/11

How do these bachelor auctions work as far as who pays for the date?  Presumably the bidder does, but the bidder has already paid a hefty sum for charity.  Is the bachelor supposed to pay for it?  If so, how would Scott pay for it given that he and Madison are living (in his words) on freezer-burned chicken, and pasta shells?

Ryan tells JAR he took him off the Oakhaven list as Annie's emergency contact.  What authority did he have to do that?  He's Annie's EX-husband, nothing more.  If anything, there should probably be some sort of conservatorship/guardian situation going on since she doesn't even HAVE anyone close enough to make emergency contact-type decisions on her behalf.  Her father hates her, she's not married anymore and she has no friends other than Amanda, who is only sort of a friend.

Given his suspicions about Ricky, why hasn't Griffin had Ricky investigated?  I can't believe NO ONE in Pine Valley has seen anything along the lines of a church or congregation and they don't have any questions about it.

Does JAR still have the phone numbers for his favorite twins, Candi and Brandi?

Robin "maybe they can help take his mind off of eBabe" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 3/24/11

Isn't the bachelor auction about to happen, like "today" at  PVH?  So why is JAR only just now hearing about it from Amanda?  Why is pretty much everyone only just NOW recruiting people?

Griff's a doctor, right?  He knows lots of rich people in PV (like Kendall, for instance).  Why doesn't he just BUY antibiotics to send overseas instead of stealing them from his workplace?  Yeah, I know it would mess with the storyline to do something, oh, I don't know, LOGICAL, but really, this is just plain stupid.  He says he meant to do it with the money Zach was going to give him from the casinos, but now that's in limbo.  WTF?  Just how many antibiotics IS he stealing from PVH?  If he has to wait for the big windfall from the sale of the casinos, that's a SHITLOAD of antibiotics which, generally speaking, are much cheaper than MOST medicines except for the super-antibiotics.  A 10-day supply of Amoxicillan from Walmart (WITHOUT insurance) is around $4.  He must need a forklift to do the swiping from PVH drug cabinets in order for it to be too expensive for him to buy on his own (he must have a credit card or two) or enlist the help of all those rich people. 

It's pretty hypocritical of Griffin to write a blank check to give to Cara to make sure someone other than Kendall bids on him (and wins) at the bachelor auction rather than just buying some antibiotics with it to send overseas.

I'm not buying Ricky with Diana.  Between her harsh, cold attitude and her size (she's kind of an amazon) she's not very feminine, no matter how much makeup or jewelry she wears.  Every time I look at her I wonder if she's a guy in drag.  She also reminds me of Grace Jones and the dominatrix in Zoolander, especially with those wing-like things she likes to wear.  I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley (or even a well-lit one).  Maybe it's the blunt-cut bangs and all that sneering.

Robin "she scares me" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 3/23/11

Bianca is an heiress and a business mogul in her own right.  She has big bucks and two small children.  Reese wants to take the children away (and possibly a lot of her money).  So what does Bianca do?  She hires a newly minted lawyer.  I don't think eBabe even has an office.  Her license probably hasn't even arrived in the mail yet.  She has NO experience whatsoever in divorce cases other than her own (where she just got fooled).  Hiring eBabe is a pretty stupid move for such a smart woman.

Why is Caleb even in Pine Valley?  He's a non-player.  All he does is stand around and brood and Michael Nouri is just phoning his lines in.

Erica and Jack have set a wedding date:  May 14, 2011 (a Saturday).  We'll see.

Did I miss an episode?  Nope, I see I did a Boogie Chillen for Tuesday.  All this stuff with Griff going to the casino and trying to force himself into Diana's office and consequently being beaten up seems to have happened off-camera.  I even went so far as to fish Monday and Tuesday's episodes out of the Tivo recycle bin to double-check.  The last we saw of Griffin he was about to escort Kendall to her car after it was verified that the fund-raising event had been canceled.

Wow, that was a loud snowball.  What are those snowballs made of, rocks?

What grounds would Reese have for getting sole custody of either ONE of the girls?  How heinous, irresponsible and unfit is Bianca as a mother that Reese would be able to do that?  And has Reese become a French citizen?  They have as much as said that the lawyers for Reese will try to get the girls back to France and the French courts will then give sole custody to Reese.  I'm under the impression that they are ALL American citizens, so why would the French courts favor Reese who, as it has been pointed out numerous times, has not even made the slightest effort to see the girls in a very long time.  Where has she been, prison?  If not, there isn't any valid reason for her not to have done so.

Here's a thought:  Reese may become engaged to a man so she can renounce being a lesbian and marry him (or at least SAY that's the case) in order to get custody.  Then she can attack Bianca as being unfit for still being a lesbian.  Of course, if push comes to shove, Bianca could do the same thing.  It wouldn't be believable for either one of them to hook up with a man, considering they are well-established as lesbians, but believability has never stopped the writers at AMC, and it would be a storyline they haven't done on AMC yet.  Reese might have a slight edge in that she at least TRIED to be heterosexual before she met Bianca, but Bianca has never been anything but gay, having only had one dismal date in high school to try to fit in.

Caleb tells eBabe that he doesn't really want to run Cortlandt Electronics without Erica.  Good.  Leave.

If Kendall didn't know Griff was in the hospital room with Cara and Tad, why did Kendall so boldly stride into it as it if were her destination?  She seemed utterly surprised to see him there.  She had to know Cara had just walked in, yet she didn't even glance at Cara as she strode in, making me think Cara was not the reason for her intrusion. 

Robin "but then, Kendall reasons rarely make sense" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 3/22/11

Does everyone in Pine Valley ONLY look at Pine Valley-centric things on the internet?  Does EVERYONE know about EVERY video that "goes viral"?  There are millions of things to see on the internet, yet every time anyone in PV puts anything up, regardless of the site, seemingly everyone in town (except the computer-phobic ones like Caleb) has seen it.  And Liza knows better than to go back to the place where she humiliated herself, yet she goes anyway, and wearing a tight, one-shouldered top, at that.  What time of day is it?  Is that what she wore to work as the DA?  I've made some questionable fashion choices in my working days, but I was a lot younger and I wasn't the DA.

Will Miranda Google her name and find out that she was switched at birth with AJ, JAR was her "father", a woman named after a pig was her "mother", JAR fought giving her up even when he knew she was not his biological child, and he pushed her mother over a balcony (not to mention that she was a product of rape and her mother killed her biological father and her Auntie Kendall stood trial for it)?  Of course, some of those details could get lost in all the links that would come up mentioning Erica Kane, Kendall Hart and Bianca Montgomery and involving the keywords murder, rape, trial, kidnapping, embezzlement, prison, escape, marriage, drug addiction, unabortion, divorce, coma and serial killer, along with assorted everyday keywords such as perfume, eyeliner, supermodel and fashion.

I became curious after writing the above paragraph, so I went to Wikipedia and googled some characters.  Bingo!  There are Wikipedia links for:

Bianca Montgomery
Kendall Hart
Erica Kane
Jackson Montgomery
Travis Montgomery
Barbara_Montgomery
Adam Chandler
JAR Chandler
AJ Chandler (aka Adam Chandler III)
Babe Carey
Richard Fields
Children Of All My Children
and many more, I'm sure

Reese was building a house in Paris for Bianca before they got married.  Who will get the house in the divorce settlement?

Look, there are Bianca and eBabe in the same scene.  Nope, still can't tell them apart at first glance.  Even their hair color is similar.

There were 8 candles  on AJ and Miranda's birthday cake.  AJ was six last year when he decided he wanted to be called AJ.  So is one of the candles "one to grow on"?  Once again, poor little rich boy AJ has a dismal party consisting of his parents, Miranda and Miranda's mom.  That's it.  So not only does he not have a lot of kids at the party, he has to SHARE the cake and attention with a GIRL!  And vice-versa for Miranda.  Where is Gabrielle?  She IS Miranda's sister, after all.

Erica and Caleb talk about getting a younger celebrity to draw in a younger customer base for Cortlandt Electronics.  Colby comes in bragging about her video blog fanbase and it's practically a done deal.  Cortlandt is a well-established multi-billion dollar corporation.  Can't they afford to get a REAL celebrity? 

Then Erica nudges Caleb to hire Asher to head up the project.  Yeah, because Asher not only knows everything there is to know about computers, but he has lots of management experience (consisting of stalking, corporate espionage, planting viruses, hitting people over the head and being an overall henchman for Cortlandt's arch-enemy).  Plus he has a semi-romantic involvement with their new spokesperson, who is currently a hot mess.  What could possibly go wrong?  (For one thing, I doubt either Colby or Asher even know their own social security numbers, although I suspect Asher knows a lot of OTHER people's social security numbers.)

Well, now we have the answer on the adoption issue -- Reese DID legally adopt both Gabrielle and Miranda, and now she is going for full custody of both children.

Hey, JAR.  Time to give your henchman a raise to keep him on your side.  Oops, too late.  Said henchman has decided that his nefarious workdays are a thing of the past.

Erica one-ups (or one-downs, as the case may be) Liza's one-shoulder top by wearing a one-shoulder, OFF-the-shoulder dress, thus baring both shoulders.  Is it a subliminal display of power between two rivals?

Is Angie going to stay blind?  The strain of childbirth or the surge of hormones might magically fix her eyes.  Hey, it's Pine Valley -- it could happen!  In fact, maybe someone should just bonk her on the head and it will clear it right up, like slapping the side of a TV set in the olden days used to work when the horizontal hold ceased to hold.  She'd never see it coming, after all


Jack pulled some strings and now he and Erica can have that special vacation that she wanted; the one that has been booked for 2 years and they couldn't get previously.  Erica is thrilled.  Something tells me there's a prospective honeymoon couple on their FIRST wedding who is now bitterly disappointed that their own pre-booked dream honeymoon vacation has been scuttled at the last minute.

Robin "well, my goodness I'm wordy today" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 3/21/11

Why is Amanda having an orientation meeting with JAR in a BAR?  Shouldn't they be at Chandler Enterprises where there's stuff that, oh, I don't know, has to do with WORK?  Amanda could just as easily grab his drink (of sparkling water) out of his hand and tossed it in a plant in his office, although it would be harder for Jake to come by and snark at them.  AMC probably left the Chandler Enterprises set back in New York.

Why does everyone think Kendall is all dressed up?  If anything, she looks LESS dressed up than she usually does.  It must be the "little black dress" factor.

TAN:  I just saw a spice commercial where various people proudly hold up their creations.  A woman holds up a big, shallow bowl with pasta and various other things in it.  It all stays put, despite her tilting it toward the camera.  I might have let that go if it weren't for the lady at the end of the commercial who holds up a huge bowl of salad.  She tilts it almost entirely vertical and not a single thing in the bowl so much as trembles, let alone falls onto the floor.  I call BOGUS!  Of course, I suppose the spicemaker never said anything about WHAT you choose to put your spices in/on.  For all I know she was really into putting spice on fake food that's shellacked into a bowl.  Oh wait -- the cherry tomato she added at the end DID roll slightly

Robin "ACCCKKK!  The tomato moved!  Where's my can of shellac???" Coutellier

BC - Thu-Fri, 3/17-18/11

So Annie came back to PV to ... what?  Panhandle in a park where everyone knows who she is?

Annie tells Greenlee "I would NEVER leave my daughter alone!"  How about that time she kidnapped her and locked her alone in an abandoned church which Emma then accidentally set on fire?  For that matter, she just told Emma (I think, it's hard to say what Annie's reality is at any given moment now) to go take a shower while she went to find them some food.  I can see where, being on the run, she might go downstairs and leave Emma in the room, but telling her to TAKE A SHOWER while she left the room?  Of course, anything Annie says or does about her intent at the moment is kind of a moot point since she appears to be schizophrenic. 

David and Griffin are standing in front of an assignment board.  In the center of the list of procedures that are being done, is Meniscectomy.  When I first glanced at it, though, I thought it said Meaniesectomy.  That made me wonder why David was standing there and not being prepped for his Meaniesectomy [BRRRRRUMPT-TING!]  (P.S.  Meniscectomy is knee surgery.)

While David and Griffin were standing there, there came the LOD.  David stated his opinion that, despite Griffin's plans, Griffin was now in PV for the long haul.  Griffin begged to differ.  Daivd:  "Are you kidding me?  Your sister just married a MARTIN.  If this place were a chocolate factory, they'd be the Oompa-Loompas." 

Why do we see women in PV going bonkers on a fairly regular basis, usually due to their feelings about one man or another, but we rarely see the same thing in the guys?  I think the last time we saw that was when Aidan kidnapped Kendall.  Oh we see guys get obsessed with the women in PV all the time, but we almost never see them dragged off to Oakhaven because of it.  They get amnesia sometimes after being bonked on the head, shot or otherwise physically damaged, but the women usually only get amnesia from mental trauma.  To be fair, Ryan did get a combination of the two when a bullet grazed his head and he subsequently (but not right away) forgot who Annie was, despite the fact that they were married and slept in the same bed (he forgot who Emma was, too).

Robin "women in PV FAINT from physical trauma, but only go bonkers over men or the loss of a child" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 3/16/11

Do Kendall's kids ever play outside at their own house?  It IS a big place with lots of grounds and even a pond, after all.  Do Bianca's kids ever play outside at Wildwind, which has about 20 miles of land on it?  I know Miranda sometimes rides a horse.

Why is Miranda the only child wearing a hat outside when it's cold enough for snow to be piled up all over the place?

Given there is snow piled up all over the place, why is Kendall (amazingly enough) the only one wearing sturdy shoes (boots, I think); Bianca and eBabe are wearing pretty flimsy shoes.  To be fair, though, I think eBabe joined them on the spur of the moment.  Still, she was walking through the park dressed like that.  I'm a California native, so I don't know what it's like to play or just walk around outside when there's snow all over the ground, so maybe that's normal back East.  All I know is that my feet and ears would be so cold that they would feel crunchy.

The actresses playing Bianca and eBabe look WAY too much alike.  I'm constantly having to re-orient myself when they are in the same scene.  The first eBabe might have been annoying sometimes, but at least I always knew who she was the moment I saw her.

I'm glad to see that Amanda toned down her makeup to at least only halfway black.

Dr. Joe, who is only visiting, is going to the board meeting and is going to recommend that Cara be hired on a full-time basis.  I see that the Martin talent for nepotism is still well-entrenched.

Robin "Trevor will be on-staff before you know it" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 3/15/11

How many times a day does Griffin personally give Kendall a physical or otherwise provides hands-on or face-to-face medical evaluation/care?

Did you notice the website Liza was on?  The logo for it showed "PPEE!", presumably it's called "YIPPEE!" instead of "YAHOO!" 

Scott brings home cinnamon buns fresh out of the oven from "Chez Monique".  Is that a name they pulled out of a hat, or a nod to long-time fans?  Daisy Cortlandt, aka Monique JonVille(sp?) formerly owned The Serving Spoon, a small, upscale restaurant/catering business.  It's where everyone in PV used to get their gourmet food and picnic supplies.  Daisy is Nina Cortlandt's mother (Palmer, of course, being Nina's father).

Madison insists (to Ryan) that she's perfectly fine just where she is, living with Scott in the shabby furnished apt.  Given that she just tossed a bunch of hair products, etc., in order to minimize the baby's exposure to chemicals, she might want to consider that that place has probably been bug-bombed to a serious degree.

Robin "not to mention the high probably of lead paint on the walls" Coutellier

BC: Thu-Fri, 3/10-11/11

So, is Madison going to lose the baby or have other complications because of toxic Fusion products?  They certainly seem to be telegraphing that possibility.

Someone should point out to Madison that heartburn happens a lot higher up than one's uterus.  If you're feeling it there, it's on it's way DOWN, not UP.

A medical worker at the hospital ascertains that a patient had checked out, but flowers/a plant was delivered to him.  She suggests that someone else might need cheering up.  Here's an idea:  Call the patient's number and find out if they want it.  Or call the florist's number and ask them to redeliver it or have them ask what the sender would like to do.  If someone spent enough time and money to send something like that to a patient, it should not be up to the hospital to decide to give them to someone else.

I can't believe they STILL have that Fusion poster up of Randi holding a GUN.  That will go well with their toxic products. 

I have to reiterate that I HATE that black, black, black makeup on Amanda.  It's one thing to have it on Cara (which is bad enough), but we aren't really invested in her as a character yet.  We ARE invested in Amanda, though.  I think it makes her look much older and downright harsh.  She is so beautiful that it's a travesty to not only HIDE her beauty, but deface it, as if they used crude graffiti on her.

Robin "trust me, Amanda, you do NOT want to look any older than you are" Coutellier

BC: Wed, 3/9/11

I know the INS agents were watching Tad and Cara, but leaving the curtains up?  In a HOTEL room?  On their HONEYMOON?  Don't buy it for a second and neither should the agents.

Speaking of the agents, I agree that it's ludicrous that the INS is putting this many people and hours into their case against Cara.  Unless they think she's a terrorist (I could buy THAT, given her fake names and extensive travel) or a murder suspect they'd have much better success hanging out in places illegal aliens are known to frequent if they are trying to make some sort of monthly quota on deportations.

SEMI-TAN/OT:  I have to thank AMC for being a port in a storm for me, yet again.  After watching hours and hours of coverage of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, checking websites, facebook, tweets for information, it was nice to escape to Pine Valley and its silly problems for a while.  My son and daughter-in-law (who live about 30 miles northeast of Tokyo) are fine.  I finally starting to relax a little ...

Robin "and then I found out a 2nd nuclear reactor building exploded" Coutellier

BC: Tue, 3/8/11

TAN/OT:  I had finished this BC yesterday and was starting to watch Wednesday's show when I found out about the 8.9 earthquake in Japan.  My son and DIL live about 30 miles outside of Tokyo (30 miles closer to the epicenter), so I've been somewhat distracted since then (like staying up until about 8am this morning watching CNN).  They and their house are okay.  There's a mountain between them and any potential tsunami.  My DIL was in Tokyo (6 stories up in an office building) and was lucky enough to share a taxi with 6 co-workers (no trains running), although it took about 4 hours to get home.  My son was ABOUT to go in to Tokyo when it hit.  Thank God he didn't get stranded on a train!  Also thank God for the internet and Facebook.  I wasn't able to reach him by phone, but he responded within about 15 minutes of my plea on FB, so I was saved a night or more of anguish wondering if they were ok, and I was also able to let other connected friends and family members know they were okay.

My heart goes out to those so strongly affected by this historic earthquake and tsunami.

Back to AMC:

Joe and Ruth actually DID show up for the wedding!  Well, it's worth the lame storyline to see THEM! 

I'm also glad to see TPTB bring Cara and Griffin's mother onto the show.  She made a pretty dour debut, but it's obvious she's a strong woman who loves her children very much.  We need more FAMILY in Pine Valley.  Now if only she could convince her daughter to wipe all that glop off of her eyes.

Apparently the PV Transporter is currently located in the Martin living room, because the INS agent took all of 16 seconds to walk out of the Martin living room and into ConFusion.  That may be a record!  Tad and Cara had kissed and been pronounced husband and wife when he stood up, but they hadn't even started to walk down the aisle yet when he walked into Confusion! 

I noticed neither Tad nor Cara said anything in their vows about love.  I'm sure the agent will latch onto THAT.

Robin "they basically promised to trust each other" Coutellier

BC - Fri-Mon, 3/4-7/11

Erica's place looks much more fleshed out than before.

Erica to Jack:  "Yes, I know that we've lost our way."  [again]  And I know that I am somewhat responsible for part of that [again] ... for all of that [again]."

I don't like the way Amanda looks today.  Her hair should be loosely wavy or straight, but the tighter wave isn't flattering to her, and the extra heavy black eye makeup makes her look kind of skanky or, at least, not as stunningly beautiful as she usually looks.  Or maybe it's just the makeup that makes me THINK the hair look bad.

It's about TIME someone mentioned that bringing Cara into Tad's life and the girls' lives might endanger them as far as the druglords go!

Hmmm, Opal lives at Tad's house.  Krystal lives in the house she owns with Tad.  Opal and Krystal are throwing a bridal shower for Cara at ConFusion.  Why?  Wouldn't that normally be at someone's house?  Or Krystal's restaurant?  And what a lovely bridal shower it IS for Cara!  Her cold, disapproving mother and two women who REALLY don't like her.  Okay, Jenny and Kathy were there.  Running around.  A bar.

Tad tries to cajole Jesse into not objecting to the marriage.  He says:  "Think about it!  All those years!  You had a ringside seat!" No he didn't.  He was gone for 20 years and everyone thought he was DEAD!

Ricky tells Kendall that he really needs to get back to his church.  Say what?  Since when has he had a church?  Wouldn't Kendall or anyone connected with her be likely to actually show up there if he had one?

Well, I guess they answered the question about Jake and Amanda moving into a house, as opposed to having the apartment remodeled.  It's a nice touch that Jake STILL has that decorative (and I use the term VERY loosely) round whatever-it-is that looks like a satellite dish/giant speaker.  Not that I like it, but at least it's consistent.

Robin "is Catruth appearing "tomorrow" or will she miss her plane?" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 3/3/11

I'm pretty sure Zach DID use the word "Sweetheart", and more than once.  I'm pretty sure he used that term with Greenlee, albeit in a "bestie" kind of way.  I could be wrong, but really, they should have chosen a different word.  Tad, of course, uses that endearment a LOT.  Personally, the term "Darling" usually clangs for me, so something like that might have fit better as clanging for Kendall, or eve "Dear". Only one person has ever gotten away with using that with me and even then he was from Alabama and called me "Darlin'".  It seemed natural coming from him.  Other than that exception, whenever I hear the endearment of "darling", I always think of how overused it was in movies from the 1930s when most actresses tried to sound like they were upper-class.  Those affectations  seemed fake to me even when I was a child.

Did Madison find a new (and cheaper) OB/GYN or is she planning to continue to see the out-of-network one at astronomical rates?

Why does Emma keep calling Madison?  Does Madison have a cell phone number that's really easy for a child to memorize?  You'd think Emma would call RYAN.  I can understand how she might be confused about needing to memorize so many numbers, though (it's not like Annie's going to program speed dial on all the disposable phones, after all).  Poor Emma has had to memorize SOOOOO many numbers for the veritable tsunami of parental figures in her life.  She'd need a fat, small-print phone directory deposited on her doorstep once a year just for THEM.  

Why is there a picture of Jake on the mantelpiece, but no other family members, even though it's TAD AND KRYSTAL'S house?  I suppose I could fanwank it that since Amanda and Jake are living there temporarily, Amanda put it there, but that doesn't explain the lack of photos of the rest of household (like the CHILDREN, for instance).  Besides, wouldn't Amanda put TREVOR'S photo up?  Nah, I can't even fanwank it. The first thing I thought of when Cara went over to it was an episode of "King Of The Hill".  They showed the mantelpiece at Nancy and Dale's house.  There are photos of Nancy, Dale, Joseph and JOHN REDCORN (complete with long flowing hair wafting in the breeze) on the ends.    The long-running joke on the show is that John Redcorn, an extremely hunky Native American man, is the father of Dale and Nancy's son, Joseph; Joseph looks JUST like John Redcorn, and JR and Nancy had been having an affair for about 14 years. 

Robin "not that Jake looks anything like the luscious John Redcorn" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 3/1/11

Can it be?  Is Opal actually going to have an actual STORYLINE?  Oh PLEASE let it be so!

Who "accidentally" posts a video?  No one.

Do you think the story of Cara the little boy in the hospital giving her his pudding when she was a child was a nod to the actor who played Scott as a child?  Actually not her story, so much as Tad's reaction (That dog ... oldest trick in the book!"  The child Scott was played by Philip Amelio, who also happened to be in pudding snacks commercials sharing his pudding with little girls while "Let's Get It On" played in the background


Damn, I knew it was too good to be true to give Opal a storyline.  It's just an excuse to let Caleb know Erica was planning to quit.

Jack tells Erica he doesn't know if he can trust her anymore.  Really?  He's known her since the early 1980s and he's only just NOW coming to that conclusion?  Again?

That itty-bitty digital camera Tad had just looked so cute mounted on a tripod!  Cameras have come a LOONNG way in the last 150 or so years, haven't they?  If this photo op had been staged way back when 1) there would have to be a person behind it, not a timer, and 2) the camera would have been considerably bigger if only to accommodate the glass plates that were used as negatives.  As it was, when Tad's tiny camera was used, it looked like a shrunken head on top of that tripod.

Robin "say CHEESE!" Coutellier