BC - Mon, 3/29/10

Uh, why did Ryan feel the need to jump into Liza's apt after Greenlee and inform Greenlee and David that the police were on their way to arrest David? If he had just stayed hidden and kept his yap shut, David and Greenlee might have been none the wiser. David was apprehended, anyway, but that was still a bonehead move on Ryan's part. How can Ryan POSSIBLY be such a phenomenal businessman when he doesn't even have enough self-control to do something as simple, logical and commonsensical as waiting a few minutes (or even SECONDS) before opening his big mouth and spilling the beans?

Randy feels perfectly comfortable hiring Damon, even after hearing he's a screw-up at the hospital and seeing how immature he is. She says that if Tad is willing to vouch for him, that's good enough for her. Now, she MAY be feeling like he should get a second chance, as she was given, but REALLY? Like there aren't HUNDREDS of better-qualified people who would be willing to work at Fusion, if only for the opportunity to see the great Erica Kane in person. She doesn't even know if he knows the alphabet because she hasn't asked him about any skills he may or may not have.

Brooke tells Adam that he has JAR and JAR is a WONDERFUL man [me: no he's not]. She says that's in part because Adam NEVER gave up on him [me: yes he did].

Did you catch the blatant advertising for Alice In Wonderland when Krystal made it clear that the video version they had in the house is perfectly adequate for the little girls? Damon talked about taking the girls to see the new 3-D movie, but Krystal doesn't trust him with the girls, so instead they will look for the OLD version. You know the animated one by Disney, OWNER of ABC. During a break, they showed a commercial for the Disney new "un-Anniversary" edition on DVD

It was speculated by a couple of people in R.A.T.S.A. that Damon might be illiterate. Perhaps. Or maybe he's dyslexic. He sure bolted out of Fusion when Randi started to show him about doing inventory. Was he confused by the words or the numbers? Ah, Damon answered the question before the end of the show. It's the numbers. I vote for dyslexia. So, will he get professional help, or will Randi volunteer to tutor him, resulting in he and Randi having an affair because Frankie will be spiraling out of control over the pain in his hands and the Vicadin in his mouth? Then again, they need to throw him and Colby together, so maybe Colby will be the one to tutor him. Then he can be at the mansion and Annie can slake her sexual thirsts with HIM instead of Scott. Plus he can steal more meds, etc. Maybe he'll steel someone's birth control pills and we'll see him sporting man-boobs just in time for summer.

Robin "it could happen" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 3/26/10

Why do they have Jake talking so much with his mouth full of food in the last couple of days? It's kind of disgusting. I KNOW Ruth taught him better than that. Ah, there's a clue -- Amanda is going to be portrayed as a glamorous and sophisticated supermodel, and he's going to portrayed as the uncouth and unsophisticated husband left in the dust.

How long after Amanda gets famous will it come out (if it ever does) that her mother is an infamous murderess who has to be locked up in a hospital for the criminally insane (in between escapes)?

David tells Liza that criminals come and go, but she may never get a chance to defend a David Hayward again. BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Oh, there will be PLENTY of opportunities to do THAT!

Thank GOD they finally found the BJ's set after the move to LA (maybe they finally paid the storage locker bill)! I am so sick of so many inappropriate interactions at Fusion.

Greenlee directs Natalia during a test photo shoot. She tells Natalia to go over to the roulette table, but stay away from the wheel, itself, because the chips, the stakes and the glamor mean NOTHING to her. If none of that means anything to Natalia as the face of Fusion's natural beauty products, then WTF is she doing in a casino in the first place? It's hardly the place where wood nymphs hang out looking for their true loves.

Robin "did you catch the raccoon eyes on one of the models?" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 3/24/10

Has Greenlee asked anyone where Aiden went?

Why does Madison want to hang around the casino for her date? I know she was there initially for work, but that place has BAD memories for her, and the drinking and gambling were ADDICTIONS that don't just go away just because her husband and father have gone away. Ah, I see her date isn't going well because she's so uncomfortable. At least they wrote SOME realism into it, although they weren't clear WHY she was uncomfortable (so she can be thrown together with Ryan, obviously).

Uh, how long has Natalia been out of the academy? She's determined to get that detective's badge ASAP. Isn't there at least a requirement as far as experience goes in order to qualify for that position? Hmmm, I googled it and am dismayed to find out that the only REAL qualification is a GED, an ability to speak English, and passing the physical. I'm sure individual states and locales have their own stringent requirements, and I would imagine rookies don't generally get promoted over senior officers, at least not without a brilliant track record and more than a little experience as a beat cop. Of course, in PV, ANYONE can do ANY job, regardless of their qualifications and/or experience, or the lack thereof.

Speaking of Natalia, she is NOT supermodel material. She does NOT ooze glamor and still won't, no matter how much she's dolled up. She's pretty, but she's not NEARLY pretty enough for an ad campaign for makeup that makes a woman look glamorous.

Okay, that's just RUDE having Ryan talk about and belittling cougar mothers in Girl Scout troups, considering he just got out of a relationship with Granny Erica. What a JERK!

Now Greenlee is locked in a room yet AGAIN. Whatever happened to her claustrophobia? It's hard to imagine why she EVER goes into ANY room, considering how often she ends up locked in, one way or another.

Robin "no wonder she's always pissed off about something" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 3/18/10

Does Erica ever have a day where she thinks "Oh f**k it! I'm just going to leave yesterday's makeup on, slip into a caftan, a bandana and some terry-cloth flat slippers."

Well, that WAS unexpected -- Ryan actually MENTIONED that he and Greenlee have bad memories at the casino. Which raises the question AGAIN of why the hell he bought it in the first place.

So Zach doesn't even know that his bestest friend-in-the-hole, Greenlee, is still alive, does he? I mean, they said the other day that even Kendall doesn't know about it yet (no tabloids or computers wherever they are, I guess -- where are they, the Blue Lagoon?). You'd think Greenlee would a) want to be able to share her feelings with Zach, and/or b) be protective of him after finding out that Ryan "snookered" Zach out of the casino, instead of giving Ryan props for it.

Robin "Ryan told Greenlee that she's angry all the time now ... and his point is ....?" Coutellier

BC - Tue-Wed, 3/16-17/10

Opal gets in digs at Liza about how she tried to bust up Tad's marriage to Dixie way back in the day. Which time is Opal referring to? Opal was brought back to town (in the form of Jill Larson vs. Dorothy Lyman) by Palmer for the EXPRESS PURPOSE of breaking up Tad and Dixie. Remember how Opal moved into their apartment and redecorated it so that it looked hideous before they returned from their honeymoon? I also recall, at a later point, that Opal and Marion conspired to break up Tad and Dixie, USING Liza as bait.

Why does Ryan want Zach's casino? That's where he almost punched Greenlee and then fled, driving his motorcycle over a cliff. That's where he was shot, wasn't he, in the murder game (or was that someone else)? What lovely memories he has there. Then again, he's stayed in that penthouse, which has a revolving door of traumatic memories with him and women. I guess the lure of the fireplace and the opportunities to make the stain on the floor in front of the fireplace ever bigger is too much for him to resist.

Why does Amanda have a cast-iron trivet hanging from her neck? Is she expecting to be chinning a tuna noodle casserole as part of her bartender duties?

If David is "hiding" in the attic, why does he have a jacket casually sitting in front of the decorative window?

Why would Ryan invest in a casino, of all things, during a bad economy? Degenerate gamblers and people DESPERATE to get more money may lose their shirts there, but when money is tight, things like going to casinos tend to end up on the list of luxury activities that can wait for better economic times as far as the average person goes.

THAT is what Greenlee considers the "natural look"? I suppose it DOES look natural when compared to raccoon eyes; otherwise, it's quite a bit of makeup. She's not wearing a necklace and her hair is kind of sloppy-elegant. She's wearing large bracelets, but they are far away from her face. Her earrings are mostly covered by her hair. Her dress is glittery. So I guess the lack of the usual distractions near the face and the abundance of distractions AWAY from the face is supposed to make their target audience forget that her makeup does NOT look natural. Not only does it not look natural, but it's obvious that the eyebrows are drawn on on top of some sort of grayish foundation that goes well beyond the drawn ones.

Robin "I give her props for not wearing bright red lipstick, though" Coutellier

Comparison Photo - THAT GIRL! - 3/15/10

I mentioned in the 3/12-15/10 Boogie Chillen that a comparison photo of Marlo Thomas in 1965 as "That Girl!" and Susan Lucci as a mature Erica Kane in 2010 on AMC would be coming up. Here it is (click on photo to see enlargement):

BC - Fri-Mon, 3/12-3/15/10

Why doesn't anyone ever notice when the tunnel doors are open? Wouldn't they hear the change in air sounds, if not the creaking and clicking of doors?

Did anyone ever tell Mary that Greenlee is alive?

When Adam was lying helpless and begging David to help him, did anyone else flash back to Palmer finding Adam in the boathouse after he had a stroke? Palmer stood there and taunted Adam, who couldn't move. I think Palmer eventually DID get help for him, but he mentally tortured him and enjoyed it for a while first.

Oh FGS! Now Ryan is taking his little daughter to a f**king BAR for ice cream! I don't care HOW much food they serve, ConFusion IS and always HAS been a BAR, plain and simple. It is NOT BJ's, it is NOT McKay's, it is NOT The Serving Spoon and it is NOT The Goal Post. It's a BAR. At one point they were portraying it as possibly a bar at night and an eating establishment during the day, but guess what? It's NIGHT now and Emma is there ordering ice cream sundaes. ABC's budget must be in dire shape if they couldn't afford to bring the BJ's set with them to LA or to come up with something, ANYTHING, that resembles a family-friendly easting establishment. Then he sends her over to a waitress to place their order and doesn't give her another glance until she runs back over to where he and Madison are talking. Yeah, they need a place where a lot of regulars can interact but they need to come up with a different venue.

Considering how often people go in and out of the patio entrance to the living room at the Chandler mansion, you'd think Annie and/or Scott would rub a brain cell or two together and try to go into the room THAT way. Not only that, but EMMA could probably bust those flimsy hallway doors open. I've seen unlocked revolving doors with more resistance.

I don't think I've ever seen Erica looking QUITE so Marlo-Thomas-in-"That Girl" as she did in that meeting with Jack and Greenlee. I'll see what I can do in the way of a comparison photo. Heh! It just occurred to me that there are people reading this who will be as clueless about that pop-culture reference as Damon was to Tad's "Eddie Haskell/Leave It To Beaver" reference

Robin "that's a lovely frock you're wearing today, Ms. Kane" Coutellier

BC - Mon-Tue, 3/8-9/10

Why do people on soaps think that stomping on a cellphone or breaking it in half is going render it untraceable? It's a moot point since Greenlee's cell wouldn't do much good, GPS-wise, sitting on the floor of the police station, but that was a purely symbolic gesture, like when people think they are "killing" a desktop computer by shooting at the monitor. Newsflash: The monitor is connected to the computer via a cable and you can easily replace it with another monitor (although I suppose it's possible something will short out via that cable). Likewise with a cellphone, she doesn't HAVE to have a working cellphone for them to trace his calls. The call doesn't GO directly to the cellphone, it would go through the cellphone company equipment and THEN out to her phone, so the only lost signals would be her OWN, and any messages from David would simply be stored on the company's equipment until the company gets a signal that Greenlee's cellphone is working again, has been replaced, or the account has been closed.

Why is everyone acting like David is finally going down for good? They act like he was caught red-handed MURDERING someone. He's committed a lot of crimes, but I doubt he'll get much, if any, jail time over it. He falsified DNA records and could be gotten for abuse of a corpse. He had Gayle drug Adam, and that MIGHT be considered attempted murder, but he'd probably go down more for falsifying the prescription labels than for trying to kill Adam. Nope, I just don't see why everyone is so self-satisfied over THIS particular set of crimes. He has gotten away with SOOOO much more in the past, and this isn't the first time he's rescued someone that was presumed dead and KEPT it that way for a long time. This is just the same shit on a different day.

Gee, NO ONE will recognize David in THAT disguise. No one ever recognized Clark Kent as Superman wearing glasses, either, did they?

Why would they be doing a bone marrow transplant in full few of people, friends and relatives or not, staring in at JAR like he's an animal in the zoo?

Robin "How about a LITTLE privacy?" Coutellier

BC - Thu-Fri, 3/4-5/10

What the hell is JAR wearing? Is that supposed to be a robe over a hospital gown? If he's in a coma, a robe would seem superfluous and something that would only get in the way of treating him.

You can tell that's a fake hostage situation because Ryan is just standing there and he's not even tense, letting alone trying to be a hero. Plus they had a plan.

If Tad has a new lead on Chandler's other son, why isn't he out FOLLOWING that lead?

Isn't that the same pew Babe died in? You'd think THAT would be on Krystal's mind and she might want to sit in a different spot, at least.

Colby makes a dramatic entrance to the library to lambaste Annie. She stands in the doorway and declares that her brother is at DEATH'S DOOR! As she says that, she's wearing a RIDICULOUS-looking outfit. I mean REALLY, she had to actually THINK about putting that together. She couldn't be THAT distracted by the fact that her brother is at death's door. She's wearing a top that's long enough to be a dress, pants (jeans?) of some kind and gray or slate-colored ... what? Leg-warmers? Uggs? Fuggs? They look like they go down and under her shoes. She looks like a little kid who found a trunk in the attic and threw on everything she could find. At least she changed before she left the house.

Why is Brooke staying at the Chandler mansion? She knows Annie is insecure about her, both as a romantic rival and as a business rival. She knows Annie doesn't like her. She knows Annie is Adam's wife and doesn't want her there. She knows Annie is feeling left out and needs to be reassured of her place in Adam's life and household. Even so, Brooke blithely accepts Adam's offer to stay there. Oh yeah, she's a shrewd reporter with keen insights.

Greenlee was playacting, too. They're ALL telegraphing their roles. That doesn't make for very good drama. It's boring.

I thought it was funny that basically accused GAYLE of acting like she was in Junior High.

Robin "Pot, Kettle" Coutellier

BC - Mon-Wed, 3/1-3/10

Did you hear Dr. Bender being paged to the "Mental Ward"? You would think they would use a numbered code or at least say "Psychiatric Ward". Paging him to the Mental Ward is like paging him to the Loony Bin.

Uh, Randi, Sweetie? Your husband is a doctor ON DUTY -- perhaps it would be a wiser idea for him to wait until he is OFF-DUTY to take whatever pain pills were prescribed for him when his hands were initially injured. Of course, being a doctor, he knows better than to do that. Yup, Frankie would NEVER do a thing like that. Not Frankie. After all he's already having extreme angst over the fact that someone died because he didn't tell him Mom about needing authorization. She's already made it clear to him that she's protecting the HOSPITAL. Nope, Frankie will, for sure, never take narcotic pain relievers while on duty. Not our Frankie.

Why is everyone saying they'll protect Gayle if she steps forward about David? They are all thinking in terms of her being prosecuted (which she SHOULD be), but what about ADAM? HE is the one she drugged. If he hadn't been drugged, he probably wouldn't have shot and killed his own brother. Adam could hand her a whole WORLD of hurt over that, if only to sue her for taking away his civil liberties or something like that. David could probably dish something out, too, given that she could bring him down.

Why aren't Joe and Ruth there at the hospital during JAR's time of need, if only to support Tad?

Robin "sooooo ... Frankie took the pills ... on duty" Coutellier