BC - Thu, 2/26/09

Tivo's info for today's episode starts off with "Ryan plans to steal the casino". For some reason, I have this vision of Ryan, all dressed in black and wearing a ski mask, sneaking away on tiptoe with the entire casino on his back, hoping no one will notice.

The woman standing to the right of JAR while he gives his speech bears an amazing resemblance to Alex Haven's version of Babe. Is she Babe's ghost?

Let's analyze David's speech about Babe:

• "She led with her heart every single day." Well, that's not entirely true -- mostly she led with her crotch and her greed.

• "She embraced her family, her friends." She did so by keeping her best friend's baby, letting said best friend to think that her baby was dead. She embraced said best friend often to comfort her. In fact, she embraced a LOT of people (often).
  

• "She reached out to total STRANGERS." Yeah, just look at her first night in town. Married only 2-3 weeks, she hooked up with the first cute guy she found, who WAS a total stranger. He turned out to be her brother-in-law, but she didn't know that at first. He was also a minor who was still in high school, but that didn't appear to faze her, either.
  

• "She loved her son with the fierceness of a mama bear." Yup, to prove it, she abandoned the baby she effectively stole (by hiding the knowledge that it wasn't really HER baby once she found out), then stole her own son from his family (who didn't know he WASN'T really family) and took off with him for a life on the run with the guy she was shacking up with, leaving the baby's adoptive family AND her husband to think the baby was dead. To be fair, she did leave some notes letting people (including her husband) know that the baby heretofore known as Bess was actually Miranda; Bianca could have her back now, so no worries!

• "Babe was fearless in everything she did." I think he flubbed the line -- clearly he must have meant that she was SHAMELESS in everything she did.

Okay NOW I'm seeing some guilty feelings from Kendall about Greenlee. I disagree with some people that Greenlee is partly responsible for the accident by driving too fast on a windy road that she didn't know in inappropriate clothes. Yeah, she shouldn't have been doing that, but it's not like she was drunk or that SHE caused the accident -- at least SHE was on the right side of the road. Kendall, who shouldn't have been driving at ALL, was driving on the WRONG side of the road, and ANY oncoming traffic would have had to take evasive action and could have lost control or had no other option than to go over a cliff or be hit head-on. You might survive going over a cliff, but a head-on impact has a MUCH higher likelihood of being fatal (I learned that in traffic school a long time ago).

Ryan is SUCH a fucking hypocrite! He lambastes Reese, saying she's just like Zach -- incredibly selfish and to HELL with everybody else. I think I feel my dinner coming up!

My, my, Krystal's come full circle, hasn't she? She started out fudging the DNA test of Bess/Miranda before the baby was even born (in a memorable scene whereby we saw her wiping her mouth after leaving a satisfied-looking lab tech) to show that JAR was the father. It was unknown at that time if JAR or Jamie was the father. After the baby switch, it was eventually revealed that not only was JAR NOT the father, but Babe was not the mother). Once Krystal and Babe realized that Bess was actually Miranda, they thought Babe's real baby had died and she persuaded Babe to keep Bianca's baby as her own. Now she's making Jake and Amanda promise to not ever let JAR know that he's not the father of Amanda's baby. They don't want him to know that, either, but that's not really the point. Krystal is STILL playing fast and loose when it comes to DNA and protecting her OWN interests. She SAYS she doesn't want JAR to be hurt (the same justification she used for keeping Bianca's baby), but the truth is that she doesn't want David's attention diverted to a "shiny new baby".

Robin "she is PATHETIC!" Coutellier

BC - Tue-Wed, 2/24-25/09

Isn't the benefit (or is it just a launch party?) for the Babe Chandler wing supposed to be some sort of "gala"? Why would David a) wait until the day before the event to even START planning it, and b) why would Krystal be working on it? I mean, REALLY! David could afford to hire professional party planners; for that matter CAMPBELL'S can afford to do so. They keep saying that Campbell's is part of it, but I don't see Campbell's pitching in except to provide LOTS of tomato-based products and send a couple of representatives to the party. You'd think they would want more say in the matter. For all they know, there are erotic cakes on display for dessert.

For that matter, who would WANT to go to the party? Babe was hardly a saint, even if the show kept trying to cram down our throats that she was despite YEARS of evidence to the contrary. "Babe" is a STUPID and downright OFFENSIVE name for a hospital wing. NOBODY other than Krystal even LIKES David. Krystal, herself, isn't too high on most people's lists right now. The only reason I can think of for people to even attend the party is for free drinks which, unfortunately, will probably mostly consist of more tomato and fruit drinks. The Chandlers were there because of Babe (as long as all the Chandlers are going to be there, maybe they should get their lungs and blood checked for toxicity after Adam burned Little A's car in the fireplace). I hope Krystal calls in her trucker friends to make it memorable. At least then Winnie would show up.

Again, WHY isn't Annie in a locked ward? She KILLED and TRIED to kill several people, but she's right there in a VERY open room with no kind of fetters whatsoever, just because her doctor was trying to kill HER and was treating her unethically. The fact that her doctor was a whackjob doesn't make Annie any LESS of a whackjob OR less likely to do harm to someone. Don't they at least have a locked psych ward to keep her in temporarily? For that matter, why is she still there at ALL? She got a bump/cut on the head, and for that she's taking up a BED in a private room? They could have treated THAT at Oakhaven. If the private room were at least LOCKED that might be acceptable, given the circumstances, but this is just plain wasteful and ludicrous! At one point (when she DID start to freak out), a uniformed man came in, but it was unclear if that was a police officer or hospital security. Either way, he didn't look like he was sticking around very closely.

Who sprang for all the hospital staff to wear red scrubs during the day BEFORE the party? That's not what they usually wear (I would hope not, since patients really don't want to be reminded of blood any more than necessary). David probably made everyone get new red scrubs for the day (and ONLY that day) and then docked their pay for it. Did Campbell's pay for the scrubs (they SHOULD have since it's basically advertising)? I would think that money would have been better spent on ACTUAL health care. They also put down red carpets for the party -- how many immunizations for children could THAT have paid for? It was probably a rented rug, but still ...

Robin "it was a pretty dull party as soap parties go" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 2/23/09

It is SUCH a cliche on soaps that people can get custody of children based on a parent being unfaithful! Having sex (or not, in this case), has no bearing on whether or not a person is a good PARENT. Unless Reese is going out into the streets and bringing junkies and child molesters home to have sex in front of the kids, it's a moot point!

Considering the INCREDIBLY creepy way David is keeping tabs on Amanda's pregnancy, why doesn't Amanda just go somewhere else for pre-natal care? Frankie isn't even an OB/GYN! I suppose I can see why she has to keep seeing him NOW, though, since he's already fudged the records to indicate David is NOT the father and a new doctor would probably not go along with that, but David is so up in her business over it that I'm surprised he doesn't just reach down every time she walks by and do an impromptu pelvic exam while she's still in mid-stride. For that matter, it would not surprise me in the LEAST if he were to walk into an exam room while she IS having a pelvic exam do EXACTLY that, shoving Frankie aside so that he can gauge for himself the gestation period based on the size of her uterus. Honestly, that whole angle of the storyline just makes my SKIN crawl!

You know, as much as I can't stand him, I don't BLAME Ryan for slamming his door in people's faces and ordering them out of his life/penthouse right now. He's still trying to wrap his head around losing Greenlee and all these other people are insistently nattering at him to deal with THEIR PROBLEMS. WTF? Give the man at least a DAY, why don't you? People in PV are so RUDE!

They said before that the downstairs bedroom was made into a hospital room for Kendall. She's home about 1.5 days before she's up and driving all over the place and now she's had the room made up for Zach so she can to up the stairs to their usual bedroom.

Robin "I wonder if the downstairs bedroom now has a sign on the door that says FIDO" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 2/20/09

Has Ray MacDonnell (Joe) been sick lately? He's not looking so good compared to the last time we saw him. He's in his 80s and still looks damn FINE, all things considered, but this is the first time he's ever looked "old" to me. It may be just that he's gained some weight. He looks kind of puffy. And right when I say that, Joe gets ill, so maybe part of it was makeup. My guess is that Ray is retiring pretty soon. That was unquestionably a pass-the-torch speech he gave to Jake and Tad.

Does Krystal EVER listen to herself. She's describing David and it sounds just like the way she described ADAM (hard to deal with, but she loves him anyway). What IS it with her falling for such assholes?

Considering KENDALL is the one who was driving on the wrong side of the road and her best friend ended up going over a cliff because of it, she's amazingly calm. I know she's mad at Zach and Reese and Bianca, but you'd think she would be eaten up with guilt over what she did to GREENLEE. Even if it were a STRANGER she had forced off the road, she should be feeling SOMETHING besides anger at other people.

Kendall told Jesse that Ryan's grief is turning him into a different person. No it's not. He ALWAYS gets like that when he's got a bee up his butt about something. ALWAYS. He jumps to conclusions, blames people with a blazing hot intensity (wrongly or rightly) and seeks revenge. It's what he DOES and Kendall should know that by now.

Robin "I was so hoping he'd follow the flowers off the roof" Coutellier

BC - Thu - 2/19/09

There's been a lot of discussion about Kendall's totally unrealistic movements since her heart transplant and the possibly of her chest breaking open again (driving, climbing down cliffs, (giving BIG, HARD hugs) etc). It got me to thinking ... she's probably wearing a tight, uncomfortable bra. What's the rule on bra wearing after open heart surgery? Then again, that may be the only thing holding her ribs together at this point. If she takes it off, she's liable to BLOW like a kernel of popcorn in a microwave.

Speaking of Kendall's breast area, did she get them enhanced during her coma? My sister asked that and she may be right. They aren't glaringly obvious like Erica's, but they DO seem somewhat bigger now. Maybe Zach slipped David a little something extra to enhance them as long as he was already futzing around in the general area. Maybe Josh donated his balls, too

Did you see the SIZE of that needle Dr. Sinclair was brandishing??? Do they even MAKE needles that big for PEOPLE? It wasn't a needle so much as an ice pick! I find it hard to believe it went through Sinclair's arm without sticking out on the other side and downright IMPOSSIBLE to believe she didn't feel it going in.

Why on EARTH would Emma be with Kendall right now? Ryan now HATES Zach and Kendall isn't in any condition to be taking care of kids right now.

Wait a second -- how the HELL did Aidan manage to take Annie, who IS still a patient/prisoner at Oakhaven, to PVH? Just because Annie's doctor tried to kill Annie and inadvertently ended up getting stuck with the horse-needle herself doesn't mean that Annie isn't still INCARCERATED. The administrator (wasn't he fired?) was even standing right there! Annie should have been hustled off to another room, not left alone with Aidan with her door hanging open! Even Angie was concerned about her safety when left alone with Annie in an exam room. If Annie had to go to the hospital, she should have an armed guard(Aidan doesn't count).

I don't feel even REMOTELY sorry for Ryan. He walks into the penthouse feeling desolate and angry and I just don't care. At all.

If Bianca's lawyer already knew that Reese has parental rights as far as Gabrielle goes, why was she trying so hard to make Reese sign the papers? Reese was right to rip the papers up, not only because she does not want an annulment, but because she has NO legal representation as far as the annulment, property or child custody goes! Bianca IS being a bitch and out-of-character, but I don't think it's THAT out-of-character for anyone, even the sweetest person in PV, to go into full-on bitch mode in that kind of situation. It doesn't help, but it IS realistic. When it comes to people getting divorces (or annulment's), just about ANY kind of behavior can emerge.

Robin "and EVERYONE had better duck!" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 2/18/09

A news headline today said that a 200 lb chimp went on the attack in Connecticut. I CAN'T be the only person who immediately thought of Ryan when they heard that! Some of you newer viewers may or may not have noticed us here on R.A.T.S.A. or A.T.AMC occasionally referring to Ryan as a chimp. The history of that goes back to when Gillian died. The way Cameron Mathison chose to emote was to keep putting his hands on his head in a very chimp-like manner. That's his method of being dramatic (that and hitting people and whisper-shouting). It's only a matter of time before he starts flinging his poop at Zach.

Aidan punches Ryan pretty damn hard (at least according to the sound effects) and Ryan barely even reacts to it other than turning his head slightly. There isn't a single mark, red, white or otherwise on his forehead where Aidan's fist presumably connected. I'm tellin' ya, that guy IS made of titanium.

Jesse threatens to arrest both Aidan and Ryan if they don't knock it off. As mentioned on R.A.T.S.A., Jesse has no jurisdiction in Connecticut. Of course, that's a minor detail. IIRC, Derek was arresting people in Jamaica back in the Hayley/Mateo/Noah/Julia days.

I noticed that CM has a hoarse voice now, too. Whatever that upper respiratory thing is, it's SWEEPING through the cast. First Susan Lucci, then Chrishell Stause (Amanda), and now CM.

Why are Bianca and Reese at Kendall and Zach's place acting like Bianca is suddenly moving out on Reese? Didn't they both ALREADY move into the casino? Now Bianca is saying she thought she'd stay with Erica at the casino. Maybe she's leaving the suite all to Reese. If Reese is still in the suite at the casino, then they'll still be running into each other all the time (and Zach, as someone mentioned). Zach is going to be getting shit at home AND at work.

Robin "like I said: neutered" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 2/17/09

They're in Connecticut -- so why is JESSE involved in the search and rescue? He wasn't even at the wedding.

Again, they are in CONNECTICUT, which is where Kendall collapsed -- so why is David examining Kendall at PVH?

I'm pretty sure that the taped confession Annie made to the doctor would NOT be admissible in a court of law. For one thing, she is not in POLICE custody, she was not read her rights as far as her being in the loony bin go (in JAIL, maybe, but not in a medical treatment facility), and she was not informed that their "sessions" were being recorded. Also, is she being represented by counsel? At the very LEAST she should have a public defender or some kind of "guardian ad litem" to look out for her interests, but there doesn't appear to be anything of the kind in place. The Defense has a right to have her examined by an independent psychiatrist. I would think that would be REQUIRED, for that matter, before a competency hearing for purposes of standing trial could be held.

Why is Amanda wearing such a tiny little coat and a v-necked top (and no gloves) out in the snow? JAR isn't wearing gloves, either. Then he sat on the cement bench near Babe's grave. My first thought was that his butt must be FREEZING. Then Amanda sat next to him. Now there are TWO freezing butts. They didn't even clear the snow off of them first!

Robin "do they have soggy butts now?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 2/16/09

And now our heart transplant patient is being jerked around in a careening car (I know what THAT feels like) and climbing down cliffs. According to Ruby Vee, a nurse who posts on R.A.T.S.A.), a person who has had their breastbone sawed open and then wired shut needs at least SIX WEEKS of favoring the sternum and lifting no more than 5 lbs lest the breastbone pop right open again. As usual, Kendall rarely uses her brain before she acts.

I was disappointed that Erica didn't say anything about Mona being proud of Bianca and wishing she could be there? It was nice for Jack to tell Bianca that her father, Travis, would be proud of her.

Does it seem a little odd to anyone else that there aren't any gay/lesbian friends of either of the brides at the wedding? They used to include extras at all the soap weddings, but this was a particularly low-attendance one. You'd think there would be at least ONE person there besides Bianca that was supportive to Reese. Of course, that may be deliberate to underscore how much of an outsider she is. Bianca has alluded to some gay/lesbian friends in PV in the past. That said, since they've been showing the two of them as a couple for quite a while now, within the context of the show itself, I didn't really think of it as a "same-sex wedding" so much as simply a "wedding". I tend to think of it as of a "same-sex wedding" when I see the various external references to it, though.

I know this wedding was supposed to be small, intimate affair, but you'd think there would be at least SOMEONE outside of the immediate circle of PV's usual movers and shakers. For that matter, why weren't Sean, Molly and, yes, even BARBARA there? Bianca lived with them from the time she was six to sixteen, after all. How about Reggie and Lily? (Lily would, of course, have to wear sunglasses what with all the red abounding on the set lately.) Valentine's Day was a Saturday this year, so having to be in school is no excuse. Joe has been around all of Bianca's life -- is he still visiting an aunt or whatever, out of state? Palmer should have been there, too, but I'll cut him some slack since he's really getting on in years. Mary Smythe should have been there, but Greenlee did pretty much give her the boot, so that one's iffy. Jack has a sister, That-Kit-Fisher-Person (tm by EEK) who should be there for at least ONE of her niece's weddings. Ryan ... hmmmm ... well, everyone in Ryan's family dies just to get away from him, even the PRETEND ones, and no one REALLY likes him, anyway.

Robin "now that Greenlee's been in a horrible accident & Reese and Zach's kiss is exposed, does this mean there's not going to be cake?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 2/13/09

Kendall could barely WALK or even SIT UP a couple of days ago, but now she's wandering around the hotel, rushing around and driving? As we predicted (made MUCH easier by tell-all promos), Kendall has had a MIRACULOUSLY speedy recovery from a 4-month coma AND a heart transplant.

If Kendall was supposed to be a Maid Of Honor, why is she wearing a hat, thereby squishing down her hair and giving her hat-head? And why the sudden wave of hats (remember Angie was wearing one the other day)?

Zach KNOWS how pissed off Kendall is at him for siring Gabrielle, ESPECIALLY when she sees him with her, so why does he keep picking up the baby to soothe it every time it gets even remotely fussy?

The Kane women sure do like big oval mirrors on their wedding days.

Ugh, I *HATE* Bianca's dress! Reese's isn't so anything to write home about, either, but Bianca's is SOOOO unflattering to her! I'm VERY disappointed.

Why isn't Greenlee afraid of her long dress (or veil) getting caught in/under the wheels of the motorcycle? Apparently she's never seen the end of the movie "Isadora" (1968). (GMTA, Aisling!) I was amazed that there wasn't a Youtube clip (that I could find) of THAT scene -- it was QUITE memorable! For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, Isadora Duncan, a famous dancer, died in 1927 of a broken neck when one of the long, flowing scarves she was so fond of wearing trailed romantically behind her in a car -- and then got caught in the spokes of one of the rear wheels.

What IS it about AMC and motorcycles going cliffs? For that matter, why does everyone in town eventually fall over some precipice or another? Off the top of my head:

• Ryan drove his motorcycle over a cliff

• Tad and Billy Clyde Tuggle got blown off a high bridge

• Tad and Brooke drove off a cliff, or at least down an embankment way back in Brooke's reporter days

• Bianca was pushed over a balcony

• Mia fell or was pushed out of a 3rd floor window

• JAR jumped out of a fourth floor window

• Erica fell off a scaffolding

• Greg Nelson fell off a scaffolding

• Leo and his mother fell off Miller's Falls

• Hannah fell off Miller's Falls

• Dr. Lazare fell off a cliff or bridge

• Lars Bogard fell off the back of a cruise ship

• Maria and an entire crashed plane fell (or was pushed by Brooke, depending on your point of view) off a cliff

• Annie jumped off the balcony of the Penthouse and (hilariously) immediately got up and ran away

• Leslie Coulsen fell off the top of the Chandler Enterprises building

• Helga fell off a castle-like structure in Hungary

• Countless people have ALMOST gone over the top of the Fusion building (has anyone ever succeeded?)
  

Robin "any more?" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 2/12/09

How do you leave a door unlocked (Annie's room at Oakhaven) that locks automatically?

Why would Ryan and Greenlee travel up to the wedding separately?

Okay, Ryan said something about Emma being taken care of for the evening festivities and Rachel is apparently coming up to take care of her after the wedding. What about Spike and Ian? Ryan says Spike is sick -- either he is or he was just TOLD that because Kendall wasn't going to go. If Rachel didn't know Spike was sick, who is taking care of Spike and Ian now that Kendall and Zach ARE going to the wedding? Spike doesn't appear to be with Ryan, and Kendall is NOT up to full-time childcare at the moment.

Apparently Kendall never wants to see Bianca ever again -- at least she never wants Zach to see his baby (or Reese) ever again.

Does Kendall know yet that Zach is the one who shot Josh?

Aidan and Dr. Sinclair both KNOW that Annie will go after Greenlee and try to kill her. Neither of them seems concerned with letting Greenlee and/or Ryan know that Annie has escaped (again) and is gunning for them, though.

How did Annie get all the way from Oakhaven, which is presumably in Pine Valley, all the way to the Inn in Connecticut with no money or resources? She probably assaulted someone and stole whatever she needed. She always WAS resourceful.

If Ryan and Greenlee rode up on their bikes, how did Emma (who walked in with them) get there? It kind of seems like Ryan did NOT take his motorcycle, unless it was being towed behind him or attached to an SUV.

Maybe Gabrielle was crying because she didn't like her face being smushed up against the hard sparklies on Opal's dress.

Should Kendall really be drinking alcohol so soon after her transplant? Wouldn't that interfere with her medications?

Oh puh-leeze! Zach is already in such hot water with Kendall and now he's making out with REESE? Yeah, we saw it coming, but for all he professes to love Kendall and he'll stick it out with her, etc., that's just bogus, even if he IS feeling a lack of nookie.

Robin "he should get used to THAT feeling for a while" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 2/11/09

If I were Erica, I wouldn't bounce so much in my shoes -- that left boob of hers is about to break free of its mooring! Then again, she is obviously so proud of her new boobs that maybe that's what she WANTS.

Do cadets start doing ride-alongs THAT quickly into their schooling (like 2 days)?

Greenlee tells the woman fitting her dress that she's going to ride her motorcycle up to the wedding (in Connecticut) because she and Ryan are going to ride off into the sunset. They don't know where they're going to go yet. Hello? What about Emma (not to mention Spike)? She acts like they don't even EXIST! And isn't this kind of a bad time of the year (on the East Coast, anyway) to be riding off on long motorcycle trips, particularly UNPLANNED ones?

Wednesday's product placement: Natalia makes some nutritious, good-for-you, hot Campbell's soup to keep the tradition going. I hope it's the version WITHOUT all that sodium, because Campbell's puts a SHITLOAD of sodium in their soups (that's a big part of what makes them tasty).

Robin "A salt lick! Mmmm, mmmm GOOD!" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 2/10/09

Tidbit: February 10 is on or about Jesse's birthday.

Is it just me, or does Livia look like a frosted pastry in the grocery store bread aisle, or perhaps a freshly drizzled cinnamon bun, popover or bunt cake? I was so fascinated by her hair that I had to rewind the scene to know what it was even about. at the very first commercial break after I wrote that, they showed a Pillsbury Toaster Strudel commercial whereupon they drizzled frosting all over one! First Greenlee bleeding on the floor of Fusion to remind us of Fusion Red and now Livia looking like frosted toaster strudel -- don't tell ME that's not product placement!

How is it that people keep getting into the Maximum Security Ward unseen? Wouldn't it, by DEFINITION, have security cameras at LEAST on the doors?

Ryan saying he needed to know that Annie was no longer a threat to his wedding day or any other day was the reason for him being not only at Oakhaven (at night), but IN THE MAXIMUM SECURITY WARD is totally bogus! He could, oh, I don't know, CALL Dr. Sinclair to discuss it with her or make an appointment to see her in person, not just pop up in a secure area like some kind of toaster strudel.

Today's blatant product placement: Natalia toasting Jesse at ConFusion with Fusion V-8. I wonder what the markup is if you buy it at a bar (where the set it on the table for you like it was a bottle of wine). Did they pour some in Natalia's glass first so she could swirl it, sniff it, sip it and pronounce it acceptable? Brot was also drinking Fusion V-8. Jake had a martini, though. That's only because they are going in the direction of him having a "drinking problem", though, so they don't want to link THAT to their sponsor. Then he had a beer (as did Tad) back at Tad's place to reinforce a brotherly bonding scene.

What, exactly, is Dr. Sinclair going for in trying to force a confession out of Annie? All she has to do is testify that Annie confessed to her and that she finds her to be faking. All things considered, telling that story without a confession from Annie would be a simple matter for her to do. Does she have the room videotaped? If so, I would think they could bring her up on charges just for the way she GOT a confession!

Is this day in Pine Valley EVER going to end? People have been in the same clothes for what seems like a very long time. Reese and Bianca went to bed and Bianca slept and then woke and they were STILL wearing the same clothes they were wearing last Wednesday. Then they moved to the Casino and had a fight and Reese went downstairs to drown her sorrows and they STILL were wearing the same clothes. Tad planted drugs at David's place, David was busted and blackmailed into dropping charges, Angie and Jake both went back to work and apparently put in a full day. Brot is working and Taylor is visiting him and all the doctors were on duty until a few minutes ago, even though it was now WELL into the night. Rebecca finds out her chemo isn't working, buys presents for everyone, says goodbye, flies back to Denver and commits suicide, and Krystal was STILL wearing her clown collar top (which she was wearing on last Thursday's show) while she and Tad were divvying up their properties with their lawyers, even though it is now WELL into the night. Kendall said goodnight to Zach quite a while ago (he declined to go to bed and went to the Casino and ended up commiserating with Reese instead). Greenlee and Erica had a fight a the office AFTER DARK, whereupon Greenlee was knocked unconscious, taken to the hospital and treated, had a heart-to-heart with Erica about Kendall, went to the Slater house (possibly stopping to buy a formal dress for Kendall on the way), made Kendall try a dress on and got her to spill her guts (so to speak). The doctors go to Fusion to celebrate Jesse's birthday. Krystal FINALLY changes her clothes, but they make a point of it because she and David are going out to dinner, not because it's a new day. Natalia is also wearing different clothes, but it's only natural she would change to go out. Despite all that, that SAME NIGHT Angie ruminates that she should have sensed something "the day Rebecca left". HELLO? REBECCA LEFT EARLIER ~~~TODAY~~~!!! And you DID sense something about the way she said goodbye -- that was VERY clear! Then Natalia receives a letter that came "overnight from Denver". How did Rebecca send something overnight from Denver the day BEFORE she went back to Denver? This is TOTALLY a time-warped day!

Robin "What, Rebecca couldn't wait ONE MORE DAY so that her suicide didn't happen on Jesse's BIRTHDAY?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 2/9/09

Dr. Sinclair apologizes to Annie for HITTING HER and says it was out of line and unprofessional of her. Ya THINK?

It's awfully bright in the Fusion office, especially since the windows indicate that it's nighttime. If they want to cut costs, they should remove some of that overhead lighting. Speaking of it being nighttime, why does the phone at Fusion keep ringing? It rarely rings during the DAYTIME.

Did you notice that Kendall is wearing gray, even after changing her clothes? I think it's a deliberate choice to try to make her look more pale and sickly.

I LOVED that little interlude where Erica asked Petey if he could handle the place alone while she went out on an errand. Petey scoffs: "Is an electron NEGATIVE?" Erica just stares blankly at him. Now THAT was funny! It was even funnier when he tossed the candy in the air to catch with his mouth and hit himself in the eye with it That guy's a keeper! I lost a soft contact lense once in a little half bathroom back in the 1980s. It did NOT go down the sink. So where was it? I never DID find it and I searched high and low without ever leaving the tiny room. To this day I wonder if it's lost inside my head somewhere.

As an observation, clearly Petey CAN'T handle it on his own because he's made no move to answer the incessantly ringing phone. None of them have. Is the ringer stuck? I used to live on a street behind a Toyota dealer. They had the phones connected to an outside pager tone so that if someone was on the lot they would know the phones inside were ringing. One night, after they had all left, the phone rang and rang and rang ALL NIGHT LONG! So all night long we got the LOUD tones in some sort of pattern (1 long, then 3 short, followed by 4 seconds of silence and then it would repeat). It drove me CRAZY!

Annie says Dr. Sinclair talks just like Richie used to talk to her -- so calm and so smooth. Really? I think she's RARELY calm and gets shrill on a regular basis. She's quite the harpy, in fact. Still, I suppose I should cut Annie some slack, considering she's nuts.

Did Annie just get her lips plumped again, while in the loony bin? Do they bill it to her room?

Okay, if Rachel is at the casino suite with the Miranda and Gabrielle, and Zach is at the Casino because Kendall is giving him the cold shoulder, who's watching Ian and Spike? The nurse? Kendall certainly isn't up to it at this point.

That black dress Kendall is trying on (for Greenlee's wedding) looks like it's choking her (especially the ruffly part that looks like a hairy snake working its way up one side on the way to encircling her throat). Maybe the style is a subtle indication that she has a scar (it probably still has stitches) that needs to be covered up. It is NOT flattering a flattering look for her, IMO.

Robin "Why doesn't Petey keep spare glasses handy?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 2/6/09

Tidbit: The Fusion office is located at 500 Front Street. (Isn't Front Street where Erica went to score drugs when she was hooked on painkillers?)

It seems to me that if BOTH Ryan and Greenlee are ~repeatedly~ having dreams where one or the other of them is dead or near death, then maybe they should rethink getting married. I mean, CLEARLY there is some subconscious angst going on. Maybe it's not FEAR of the other one dying a horrible death, but a DESIRE to see the other one die a horrible death. Obviously they are picking up strong vibes from viewers of the show :-)

Zach offers the VIP Suite at the Casino for Bianca and Reese. JUST the place to bring a bunch of CHILDREN to soak up a nice, quiet, family atmosphere.

Why does everyone on the show always have the staff pack and unpack their things or have their stuff "sent for"? I don't know about you, but *I* HATE the thought of anyone else going through my personal things and deciding what and what not to include! Assuming someone is able-bodied enough to pack (or at least CHOOSE) their own things, they SHOULD do it themselves! I mean, they never show Winifred packing up the vibrators, porn, thongs, lubricants and other "personal" products. What about jewelry and other valuables? How about compromising photos and diaries?

Robin "I'm just sayin' ..." Coutellier

BC - Thu, 2/5/09

Wow, Susan Lucci's throat ailment hit her FAST!

What's up with Krystal's clown bow? Looks like Erica isn't the only one resurrecting the 1980s.

I just noticed that not only do the Hubbards have V-8 on their counters, but they also have at least a couple of cans of Campbell's soup there. I don't know about YOU, but *I* usually keep my canned goods in a cupboard unless I'm ready to open them. And now Adam is pushing Prego's Heart Smart sauces on Amanda. I know that there is a heart health awareness campaign at this time of year, but they are really laying it on thick! Will we see jars of Prego in the living room? If Adam Chandler is rich enough to have a full-time cook, then he's certainly rich enough to have said cook prepare some heart smart foods from SCRATCH, with help from a nutritionist if necessary. According to the nutritional information on their website, a half-cup serving of Prego's Heart Smart Traditional Italian Sauce has 430mg of sodium and 10g of sugar.

Amanda has money again, so why is she moving into the Chandler mansion? I don't buy that bull about protecting her from David for a SECOND, as it has been amply proven that the Chandler estate is more accessible than a metropolitan city sidewalk. She KNOWS how Adam operates. She KNOWS that he hates her guts and she KNOWS that he has a history of going ANY lengths necessary to wrest away custody of any child he thinks has a drop of Chandler blood in it. So why subject herself to such a TOXIC environment (and considering that he burned LA's car in the fireplace, the label of TOXIC applies on several levels)?

LOD:
Zach to Bianca: "It IS on ME. It's my wife. I had a kid with someone else -- maybe I should have said something about that." Ya THINK???

I can't believe Bianca is still spouting that the REAL problem with the circumstances of Gabrielle's paternity is that she didn't TELL Zach (or Kendall) that she went ahead and used his sperm to get pregnant. Uh, NO. The REAL problem is that Zach made a deposit for her to use in the FIRST place without consulting his WIFE (who happens to be Bianca's SISTER) about it!

Oh, look at the convenient pestle and mortar Jesse whips out so that he and Jake can grind up a bunch of pills to frame David. They don't watch much in the way of forensics TV shows, do they? Traces of the meds CAN be found on them. For that matter, it's possible that someone in the household is allergic to one of the meds that were mixed together and will subsequently eat something that was prepared using said pestle and mortar and will then have a life-threatening allergic reaction to it.

One of the conditions of Krystal having visitation with Jenny is that she NOT take her to DAVID'S house. So what does Krystal do the minute she gets Jenny? She takes her to David's house, of course. Wow, I knew there would probably be repercussions from it with Tad eventually, but I didn't expect those repercussions to be the minute she walked in the door. It was also a handy way for Tad to deflect her questions about him being IN the house in the first place. Krystal figures it out quickly enough after Jesse and his posse raid the house and find the freshly compounded pills, though.

Greenlee and Erica have a knockdown drag-out fight at Fusion, including dueling with cheap chairs. This is BEYOND ridiculous, if only because Erica (okay, Susan Lucci) is 62 years old -- she could break a hip! Even with the show's warped sense of time, Erica would be at LEAST 25 years older than Greenlee; this is trailer park trash behavior on BOTH their parts! Are we supposed to think Erica has learned some tough survival skills in prison?

Don't police academy cadet photos usually get taken when the cadets GRADUATE? Natalia has only had ONE class so far, according to her.

How can ABC POSSIBLY think there will be ANY kind of cliffhanger tension WHATSOEVER with Greenlee's head wound and being knocked unconscious considering the promos they've shown us?

Robin "Greenlee's bleeding in the office -- now THAT is Fusion Red" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 2/4/09

Well, here comes Valentine's Day and here comes the Fusion V-8 push ... again. If you'll recall, last Valentine's Day they had a fashion show to benefit the American Heart Association (or something similar) and Fusion Cosmetics teamed up with Campbell's, who had a new product that they called Fusion V-8. They crammed the in-show advertising down our throats for a couple of weeks. Now we've had 3 mentions of Fusion V-8 within a couple of days (Amanda mentioned it earlier). Great -- nothing like barfing up some tangy, acidic tomato juice when you're pregnant. Oh and now Jake has a glass of it. I'm assuming that bottle with green trimmings on the table in the foreground is also Fusion V-8.

Zach is pretty excited considering the look Kendall gave him at the end of Monday's show. They're acting like it never happened.

JAR insists that he wants Amanda to moving into the Chandler mansion where she'll be safe. SAFE? He must still be suffering the effects of his drinking binge, because there is no other reason I can think of for him or anyone else to EVER think the Chandler mansion would be safe, even on it's SAFEST day! People pop up in their living rooom unannounced (not to mention in the tunnels) more often than the moles in Whack-A-Mole machines pop up in arcades!

I see Zach finally shaved off his beard.

Does Erica's dress remind anyone else of the 1980s? Oh, I see Aisling also noticed it! I had a very similar dress in off-white back in the early-mid 1980s. It was one of my all-time favorite dresses, in fact. Wait a sec -- that was about 25 years ago -- SHIT! It's true what they say -- if you hold onto something long enough, it WILL come back into fashion.

Kendall reminded Zach that it's kind of hard to be alone with 3 toddlers and a baby. Was she saying Miranda is a toddler? I imagine MIRANDA would take exception to that characterization.

I finally saw that incredibly revealing February sweeps AMC promo people have been talking about. I cannot IMAGINE WTF ABC is thinking giving THAT much away, especially for something that's still 10 days away.

Robin "who made THAT bone-headed decision?" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 2/3/09

Why is Ryan suggesting a beach for their honeymoon? The beach is where he and Annie would try to escape every chance they got. Try thinking outside the box for once, Shit-For-Brains!

Amanda said that Babe was BORN to be a Mom. OH PUH-LEEZE! Some of us are trying to keep food down! Babe wasn't born to be a Mom -- she was born to STEAL BABIES!

If Dr. Sinclair was willing to give Aidan "truth serum", why hasn't she done the same with Annie?

Opal really needs to make up her mind (or get a new deck of cards). What about the tea leaves? Shouldn't Opal have already figured out that Kendall was going to wake up (and when)? Then we find out that Ryan persuaded Opal to LIE about what the cards said. WTF? That is NOT something Opal would like about! It's just NOT -- that's like slapping fate (or whatever) in the face and Opal feels MUCH too strongly about the cards to EVER do that. I call bogus writing!

It's evening and it's dark outside. Ryan and Greenlee come back to the Penthouse after their visit with Opal. The Penthouse is dark. Ryan and Greenlee giggle and tickle and he picks her up and carries her through the darkened living room and (presumably) up to their bedroom. Where's Emma?

Robin "did they leave her in drawer somewhere?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 2/2/09

JAR says he would not try to take Amanda's baby because that's Adam's style, like the baby is his own personal property. Yes, but the MOTHER is giving the baby up. That is NOT the same as Adam doing everything possible to steal his various children from their mothers. Not that I think JAR is fit to raise a child. I also do not think Ryan and Greenlee are fit to raise children, though. The fact that JAR thinks that Ryan would be such a great parent to his child shows what bad judgment HE has. At least JAR is willing to ADMIT that he would not be a good father.

Brianne Moncrief (Colby) is SUCH a bad actress! Her expression barely changed throughout her entire conversation with JAR. She might as well have been gaping at a fishbowl.

I'm glad Zach at least had the good sense to hem and haw and stumble in his explanation as to why he was the donor for Bianca's pregnancy. It made NO SENSE. That entire storyline is just ABSURD. He told Kendall that Bianca didn't want to let them know about it unless it was successful. He's leaving out the part where he had Kendall's permission to impregnate his sister-in-law in the FIRST PLACE!

Bianca frets about how badly this came about (telling Kendall about the baby). Reese tries to comfort her, telling her that she couldn't have predicted the tornado. Me: "YOU COULD HAVE PREDICTED KENDALL WOULDN'T ***LIKE*** YOU BEING PREGNANT WITH HER HUSBAND'S BABY!!!"

Erica tells David she flat-out will NOT help him take LA away from JAR. David is kind of pissed off. What's he going to do, go in and suffocate Kendall? Frankly, I would not put it past him to do something to compromise Kendall's physical situation. He says he can't stay mad at Erica, but he is not to be trusted.

Jesse and Angie query Tad about Kathy and ask if there's some reason she might have run away. Tad says no, she was fine. EXCUSE ME? She was very upset that Krystal was leaving and said that Mommies go away and they never come back. Then he and Krystal have a blow-up. How can he be so thick-headed as to think that Kathy was FINE?

JAR makes a point of showing Adam that he is drinking WATER. Well, that's nice. But he's still in a BAR. Why would an alcoholic who has just come off a bender and is trying to stay sober hang out in a fucking BAR?

It didn't occur to me until Kendall started talking about Josh's tortured heart that now she not only has her dead brother's heart in her chest, but it's the heart that her mother had previously aborted along with the rest of him, so it's not only second-hand, but it's twice-SALVAGED, and from the same mother who gave HER away at birth because she was a product of rape. That has GOT to mess with her mind! And we thought Kendall had issues BEFORE all this! That unabortion storyline travesty is just going to go and and on and on.

Wouldn't Kendall need, oh, I don't know ... REST? People are going into her room one after the other, dropping information bombs and agitating her while she puts on a front of complete calm. She IS doing a good job of acting wan and tired, though.

WHOA! Good and very subtle acting on the part of TK and AM at the end of the show! He is SOOO fucked! Zach is sleeping in the doghouse NOW!

Robin "and he's about to be neutered" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 1/30/09

I just realized that Annie's hair seems considerably darker. How is she getting her hair dyed in Oakhaven?

Why isn't there a big red spot (and possibly whitish WELTS) on Reese's face after her mother whalloped her SOOO hard across the face that it was practically a PUNCH?

I know Tad is REALLY hurt and very angry, but he should shut his trap when it comes to slamming Krystal where Kathy could overhear. He sent her upstairs to play so he could talk to Krystal. Kathy is NOT an idiot. If I were her, I'd be listening to them as hard as my little ears COULD listen. Oh look, there she is NOW, sitting on the stairs! And she stomped up them when Krystal finally left, but Tad didn't even notice the commotion.

Is anyone going to tell Alice Hart that Kendall is awake? Has anyone mentioned to her that Kendall was even in a coma, let alone that she had a heart transplant? For new watchers, Alice Hart is Kendall's VERY sweet and loving adoptive mother who raised her FROM BIRTH. She lives in Florida.

I'm SO glad that Reese and Zach did NOT have sex in the wake of her mother's slap! That doesn't mean they won't still do it, but it would have been easy (and predictable) for them to have sex and, because they are busy getting busy, have Zach not answer his phone when Bianca called to tell them that Kendall was awake. Zach said everyone has impulses, but it doesn't mean they have to ACT on them. What a REFRESHING idea for a soap! The characters aren't going to act like normal people most of the time, because then there wouldn't be any dramatic stories, but it's nice to see them behave once in a while and maybe set an example to people that actually makes sense while at the same time acknowledging that people DO have impulses.

OT: I told someone (who smokes) recently that I quit smoking when I was 18 and am, in fact, allergic to cigarette smoke and can't STAND it, but that, every once in a while, I have a dream where I not only smoke, but I LIKE it! He looked crestfallen and said that didn't bode well for him quitting eventually. I reminded him, though, that we all dream about doing things that we would NEVER do in real life :-) For instance, in my DREAMS, I often glide or sometimes just levitate merely by concentrating really hard. I run a lot in my dreams, too, and the gliding in between touching down can be quite extended. I also race along on something akin to a combination magic carpet/bobsled -- it doesn't leave the ground, but it goes really FAST and is quite maneuverable just by my pulling on one side or the other :-)

Is it REALLY necessary right NOW to tell Kendall that Zach was the donor father to create Gabrielle? It's not enough of a shock to Kendall to find out that a) she's in the hospital and doesn't know how she got there, b) she's been in a coma for three months, c) she had a heart transplant, and d) the heart donor was her own brother? And she doesn't even know about MYRTLE (or Babe) yet!

Robin "FGS, PACE yourselves!" Coutellier