BOOGIE CHILLEN

BLAST FROM THE PAST - BC - Tue, 8/29/00

2011-10-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

[NOTE: here's a little background information since this is from 2000.

Adrian is Adrian Sword (played by Matthew St. Patrick, who later played Keith on Six Feet Under). Adrian was the love child of Opal and a black minister (or something like that); as an adult he was a multi-talented secret agent. MSP was quite yummy-looking, but his acting was very stilted; he did a much better job on SFU.

At the time, Finola Hughes was very pregnant in real life.

Tina was a so-so character who was involved with Adrian.

Dixie worked for David at the hospital as his assistant.

Jake was in one of his run-away-from-home-and-into-danger phases and had a planeload of orphans to be evacuated. I think he was in wartorn Chechnya.]

Whoa, NICE special effects (NOT)! Ryan and Adrian are in a plane that is jolting right and left and they aren't even moving with it. That's because the CAMERA is what's jerking right and left. That cameraperson should cut back on the cappucinos. Adrian hands Ryan a gun and asks if he knows how to use one of them. Ryan shoves in a clip and says he'll figure it out. Do I even have to SAY how ludicrous this situation is?

Considering that they are trying to make such a dramatic impact of Alex first seeing Dimitri at the Hunting Lodge, you would think they would have found a slightly different angle from which to shoot her. Instead, the camera is to her right and slightly back, CLEARLY showing he belly preceding the rest of her by about 10". The lampshade was supposed to disguise it, but the camera didn't move back NEARLY far enough, so the lampshade merely illuminates it and calls attention to it. A HUGE blunder that should have been either cut or reshot, IMNSHO. The rest of their scenes together were fabulous, though, and the scene on the couch was very well-shot.

I want to know where Greenlee buys that tear-proof makeup! Wait a minute -- it's probably got so many chemicals in it that she's now sterile, so maybe I'll pass on that.

Before jettisoning all that extra cargo in the cabin, you'd think Ryan and Adrian would have at least LOOKED in them to see what they were getting rid of! Was I the only one who thought the first crate they sent out the door had Gillian in it (ok, we KNEW she wasn't actually IN it at that point)? Ah, well, there was that brief little thrill, wasn't there? While the whole thing was highly unbelievable, Ryan not getting sucked out the door when he tried to pull Gillian's crate and she jumped out was downright laughable. Not quite as laughable as the coloring-book clouds visible outside the door and window (despite occasional puffs of dry ice vapors), but pretty funny anyway :-)

Tina should really avoid that pigtail look. It's for little girls or teenyboppers.

Considering the plane is at about 10,000 feet, the door is open, they are in a mostly steel cabin, and Gillian is wearing a sheer blouse, you'd think her nipples would be harder than they would be if, say, she were sitting in a Waco, TX, Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise that didn't even have an overhead fan, much less an air conditioner.

David grabs Dixie and kisses her -- HARD. Afterward, she stares at him as he tells her he HAD to do that just to shut her up. Uh huh. She continues to stare at him in silent horror and disbelief. He begs her to say something. While Dixie didn't say anything, *I* said "LAWSUIT". Something tells me the I-had-to-do-it-to-shut-her-up wouldn't fly in court. What am I SAYING? It would absolutely hold up in a PV court!

When Greenlee was smashing things with the axe, did anyone else think the printer/fax looked more like a plastic vaporizer?

If the plane barely has enough fuel to get them where they are going, never mind turning back to PV, how did Adrian and Ryan plan on RETURNING with Jake and a bunch of orphans in tow?

LOD:
Ryan to Gillian re sharing a bedroll to keep warm: "How about you riding shotgun?" Gillian: "I'm not touching a gun unless I have to!" BWAHAHAHAAA!

Dixie, fresh from the kiss from David, runs into SOS and kisses Tad like she wants to do him right there, standing up at the bar. She tells him she's missed him SOOO MUCH! Tad: "Is that Zepherin Chloride and Betadine I smell?"

May I say that that is a very unflattering ensemble Dixie has on? She makes almost anything look good, but that outfit is tight in all the wrong places, making her look frumpy.

Nice to see someone (Leo) actually playing darts at the loft. Now if only Scott would walk in. I thought Leo would point out that Scott lived there too, but then realized that Leo has no reason to take Scott's feelings into consideration.

Unless this was a daydream sequence (entirely possible [keeping in mind that I haven't seen Wed's show yet] given that sudden jump from standing to them lying on the couch), Alex has now had sex (presumably) within a very short period of time with 2 brothers. You KNOW what soap opera law has to say about THIS situation. Sigh -- ANOTHER whose-baby-is-it storyline? At least she's dressed for the part nowadays.

Robin "Gillian: Coffee, Tea or ME?" Coutellier

Blast From The Past - Detailed Friday Update, 11/03/00, Part 3 of 3

2011-10-02T02:14:00.000-07:00

THE WAVE SET

Hayley and Mateo rush onto the set as Hayley anxiously asks if there is any sign of Arlene. Mateo tells her to relax and forget about Arlene, but Hayley is a nervous wreck. She says Arlene is going to keep coming back until Hayley forgives or pretends to forgive her. They are going live in 60 seconds. Hayley rushes onto stage for last minute powder puffs and Mateo leaves for the photo shoot at SOS. Still nervous, Hayley still manages to jump into her on-screen persona and chats about how fast the year has gone, blah, blah, blah. Arlene drunkenly stumbles in off to the side. Hayley talks about fashion and white leather as Arlene drinks from a flask like a person stumbling in from the desert. Arlene proudly watches her daughter and quietly talks toward her: "There she is -- my Hayley. She's got everything she wants. She's rich, famous. A man who loves her. All your dreams came true, didn't they, Sweetie? And now ... it's Mama's turn!" She steps toward the stage.

Hayley natters away about a web poll, saying the watchers think that Thanksgiving is the number 1 family holiday. Arlene jumps on to the stage and breaks with in: "And what better way than to celebrate with your own famliy? HI! I'm Hayley's mom! I'm today's surprise guest star -- Surprise!!" Hayley IS surprised: "Well, HI, Mom!" She guides Arlene to a seat on stage and says she gets to help her welcome a famed chef (Marcel) from a Pine Valley restaurant who is there to teach them how to make cornbread stuffing [what does cornbread stuffing have to do with fashion?]. Arlene won't be silenced, of course, and she pops up saying who gives a damn about Chef Marcel? She starts to talk about previous Thanksgivings when her husband, Harry Vaughan, used to stuff himself and sit in front of the tube-- The stage crew frantically look through their notes, seeing nothing about Arlene in them. Arlene is loudly talking about Harry undoing his pants and watching football games while Hayley gamely tries to pretend Arlene is not there. Arlene and Hayley loudly talk over each other. Hayley keeps going on about the chef, who has apparently switched jobs in the space of 5 seconds, because she now says he works at Maxim's in Paris. Arlene doesn't want them to cut to a commercial or Chef Marcel. She desperately starts talking about how sorry she is for Hayley's rotten childhood and how she made it all better by marrying Adam, didn't she? Half the children in America want Mom and Dad under the same roof, etc. And she made that dream come true, didn't she? DIDN'T SHE?

While the crew continues to stand there looking perplexed and unsure, Mateo wanders back in, sees what's happening and rushes on-stage to hustle Arlene off-stage. Hayley is near the breaking point as she repeats her welcome to Chef Marcel while Mateo strongarms Arlene to a curtained-off area that has a lot of food, coffee, etc. She fights him and starts to rush back to the stage when Mateo swings her around and dumps a pitcher of ice-water over her head. She shrieks.

Arlene is pissed off and feeling pissed on as she attempts to dry herself with some napkins. Mateo tells her she's lucky that's ALL he did and that she's staying put until the cops come. [I'm still trying to figure out what he thinks they will charge her with. They might find something as far as her interrupting Hayley's show, but what else?] Arlene grins as she thinks she's hit upon a key motivational factor in Mateo's attitude -- she says he hates her because he always has to be in control and he can't control Hayley whenever Arlene is around. Her voice is low and sure of herself as she says: "Well, you know what? She's going to stand by me because she knows -- she knows I love her. Deep down inside, she knows that. But YOU -- you don't KNOW that she'll always love YOU." Mateo: "Please. You think this is some type of competition thing between me and you? You're sick!" Arlene: "Oh, no, Sweetie, there's no competition. A mom's love always wins out in the end. Just watch. Just watch. You go call those cops. You lock me up, you throw away the key. Hayley will stick by me. She always has. No matter how I screw up, no matter how low I sink -- no matter how low I sink, she picks me up, and she puts me to bed like she always has." Mateo asks what, WHAT he could POSSIBLY do to get rid of her -- to make her leave and never come back -- just NAME it! She gives an evil smile, grabs his face and plants a big wet one on him!

He breaks suction and wipes his mouth, telling her she's DISGUSTING! He keeps wiping his mouth with a napkin. She just grins and innocently asks if he didn't like it. Arlene: "Well, you know, Hayley and I are so much alike, I mean, you'd think that if you like the copy you'd LOVE the original." Mateo turns on her and yells that they are NOTHING alike! That's why Arlene is always trying to drag her down -- Hayley has done EVERYTHING with her life and Arlene has done NOTHING! Mateo: "You're the same old loser you've always been! You'll never have what she has!" Arlene gets angry again: "Look, for the record, I am TWICE the woman that Hayley is. And if you're just too much of a wimp to admit it, why don't you ask her last hubby, Alec what's-his-name?" From the doorway, Hayley says: "Ask him what?" [Kelly Ripa's pregnancy has apparently manifested itself by a visit from the breast-fairy, because her breasts are getting bigger by the day.] Arlene looks away with a little self-satisfied, closed-mouth smile.

Arlene tells Hayley that she was just telling Mateo that she and Hayley are so much alike that they even have the same taste [quite literally] in men. Hayley doesn't even care what Arlene is talking about. What she did tonight was UNFORGIVABLE! Arlene is surprised and asks how Hayley could possibly have found out already! Then she realizes that Hayley is not talking about her kissing Mateo and tells him: "Don't worry, Sweetie, she doesn't suspect a thing!" Hayley's voice gets low and gritty as she asks Mateo what Arlene is talking about. Arlene looks like the cat that ate the canary as she urges Mateo to spill. Hayley is now facing him with her back to Arlene. Still tight-lipped, he admits that Arlene kissed him. Arlene brags: "Full on the mouth! I don't know what came over me, Sweetie. I was just -- must have been the stress or something. But I SWEAR to you that it will never happen again, no matter how great the temptation. Right, Mateo?" She grins at the trouble she's causing. Hayley suddenly whirls and wallops Arlene across the face! [THAT was a long time coming!] They glare at each other.

Mateo breaks the tension and takes hold of Hayley's arm, saying it's time to go. They start to stomp off, but Hayley turns and stomps back to Arlene to tell her: "If you EVER touch my husband again, I WILL kill you!"

On the next AMC:

Arlene to Hayley: "You're a pussycat inside. I know that about you. You'd never kill anybody." Adam suddenly appears and says: "What about me, Arlene? You think *I'm* capable of killing you?"

Leo to Bianca: "You're confused, and, you know, this just isn't the way that --" She launches herself into his arms and plants big one on him!

Dixie, standing now and facing David whispers: "That's Tad's car! He's home!" David sulks.

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "Come To Mama" Coutellier

Blast From The Past - Detailed Friday Update, 11/03/00, Part 2 of 3

2011-09-29T02:38:00.000-07:00

SOS

Leo and Bianca enter an empty SOS. Leo: "We're the MODELS --we're not supposed to be the first ones here!" Bianca is brooding and he tries to bring her back to the present. A waitress walks out from the back and asks if they are there for the Enchantment shoot. When he says yes, she tells him that Tina is in charge, but she appears to be running late. [So are the camera, makeup, wardrobe and PR people.] They sit down at the bar and Leo guesses that she did NOT tell Erica -- so what's the plan? She says there IS no plan. She doesn't want to think about it anymore -- whatever happens happens. Things were different last night -- Erica REALLY opened up to her and didn't give her any attitude when Bianca said she didn't want to do the Enchantment campaign. Leo: "But here you are!" Bianca: "She loves me so much, Leo. She'd do anything for me! I really think that she would accept whatever I told her. She doesn't hate gay people. I mean, she's far too smart for that. I just -- it's just that she has this -- this idea of who I am, and I don't want to disappoint her. Not yet ... I guess the way I feel is that I LIKE having her look up to me. I LIKE having her think that I'm the perfect daughter. You know what she said to me? She said that last year when she was going through her surgery, she thought of how brave I was and she wished that she were more like ME!" He quips that Erica is eternally young and she shushes him. He says Erica LIKES it when he teases, and so does SHE! They get into a giggling slap/wrestle mode as Tina comes in with Laura. The rest of the crew is still missing. Leo is introduced and Laura asks him if he coached volleyball (harking back to his ad-lib at the dance). She's there to observe a "real" photo shoot. Tina goes off to check on the missing professionals while Laura flatters the hapless models.

Laura wants to take some shots of the duo while the rest of them [WHAT rest of them -- no one else is THERE] are setting up. Leo says sure, it would be great for his portfolio. He starts to go GQ, then squats down in a karate move She tells them to just do what they were doing when she first came in. Bianca, still laughing, says she doesn't think she can do that with an audience. Leo hugs her to him and says it's more FUN with an audience. She tells Laura he's not REALLY like this as he goes into "fun" model mode, holding her, throwing things at her and generally goofing around and mugging while she keeps laughing and Laura continues to snap pictures. Tina comes in and says she wasn't able to reach the crew, but Leo says that's okay because they started already. Tina puts music on (Madonna singing "Vogue") and Leo frolics around, jumping out at Bianca from behind poles, putting her in a headlock, etc. [I keep thinking of the Brady Bunch movie where Marcia and Jan audition to be teen models]

Erica walks in with a big, beefy looking guy whom she introduces as Bruce Bullitt, the photographer. Leo starts with some pleasantries, but Bruce totally ignores that and looks him over, holding his chin and checking out his bod (for professional reasons, of course) like he's a piece of meat. Bianca stops giggling and Bruce does the same chin-lifting with her. Bruce tells Erica that he has to hand it to her -- he wouldn't have picked THESE two in a million YEARS, but he thinks he can work with them. Erica is momentarily taken aback as Bruce says to powder them down. She smiles and puts her arms around Bianca, saying she KNEW he would ADORE her! Erica sees Laura and, in a not unfriendly way, asks who she is. Laura introduces herself. When Erica mentions she thought she was off somewhere, Laura says she was au-pairing for an American couple in China, but she's back now. Erica thinks that's nice, but this is a closed set. Bianca explains that Laura is a photographer and she wants her to stay. A guy [who reminds me a little of Jack from Will and Grace] takes Bianca's arm and coos that he's ready for her now. Erica takes Leo aside and asks if Bianca has confided in him yet. He said he thought they talked last night and she says yes, it was great and she only wants Bianca to be happy. He says that the feeling is mutual -- Erica is the most important person in the WORLD to Bianca. She thanks him for being such a good friend to Bianca. She walks over to a chair where Bianca is being fussed over and joins in the fussing. Leo watches them, looking serious, as Laura unobtrusively snaps photos of him from a distance. He finally notices the camera and gives a quirky smile, but chides her that certain primitive tribes think that taking someone's picture equates to taking their soul. She says she'll give it back when she's finished with it. He mugs some more

Erica and Bianca stand up and Bruce mutters that they don't have all day. Erica hugs Bianca and tells her that this is the BEST idea she's ever had! Bianca is going to be SENSATIONAL. Bianca says she's going to be SICK. Erica swears that, after the first few rolls, she'll feel like she's been doing this all her life! With a big smile of encouragement, she bops aside. Bianca looks tremulous.

Professional picture taking ensues and Bruce tells them to stop looking like statues -- they are the hottest couple in the WORLD! He wants to see some ENERGY! Bianca is extremely uncomfortable and Bruce tells Erica it's no use -- they look like HOSTAGES! Bruce pushes Leo aside and demonstrates. He gets down on his knees and grabs Bianca's ass, pulling her to him, burying his face near her bosom and says: "BOOM! BUTT! HERE! All right? Let's go!" Bianca looks like she'd rather be ANYWHERE else as Leo hops back onto the platform and they look with conspiratorial dread at each other. Leo awkwardly tries to imitate Bruce's hot embrace of Bianca, but looks as if he's being forced to put the moves on his grandma. Bianca runs her hands over her face with embarrassment. She grimaces and looks like she's going to hurl. Bruce continues to toss out photographer-like phrases such as "Close, close, close! Get physical here! Come on, come on, come on! The rockets are going off! SLAM, BAM!" Bianca leans over and quietly says to Leo that she CAN'T do this! He looks up past her amble bosom and says "SURE you can -- it's fun! Just be stupid!" He makes another silly face and she cracks up.

Bruce blows up and says he's got Donnie and Marie here! It's a waste of HIS time and Erica's money! Erica strides over and sweet-talks him into continuing. Then she runs over to Bianca and tells her not to be nervous -- it's just PLAYACTING! She should just imagine he's another boy that she LIKES. Think of him as the man of her DREAMS! Bianca closes her eyes and then tosses another look of dread at Leo. Erica enthuses that they can get this now! Bianca goes back to the platform and stands there while Bruce once again demonstrates, this time grabbing her waist and thigh, pulling a leg up and bending her backward in a dip, nuzzling her neck. Leo tries to imitate Bruce and approaches Bianca as if there are live grenades on her that he has to defuse. He puts his hand hesitantly on her ass, then quickly moves it to her thigh as they awkwardly go into a dip. [I'm thinking he's going to throw his back out the way he's bending] Bruce gets frustrated again and says: "Oh, for God's sake, grab her like a MAN!" He turns to Erica and says: "These pretty boys are all alike! Maybe if you had a SON we'd get some fire here!" Erica: "Excuse me?" Bruce: "These male models are all pink around the edges!" Erica: "Bruce, are you implying that Leo is GAY?" He says to forget it, but she takes offense and assures him that Leo is NOT gay and that he owes Leo an apology. Leo and Bianca look at each other and keep quiet.

Erica accuses Bruce of being too much of a primadonna to apologize and he protests that he just doesn't have TIME for hurt feelings. Erica insists on an apology to Leo. Leo walks over and quietly tells her he doesn't need one. Erica: "I think you do! Excuse me. I mean, if you were gay, all right then, fine, who cares? But you happen to be a perfectly NORMAL person, and I won't have you insulted!" Bianca looks crushed at Erica's use of the word "normal". Erica points out that they are NOT professional models and just need a little guidance and understanding. Bruce says he never SAID that her friend wasn't NORMAL, he's just trying to get some work done. They should try again. At this point, Bianca yells out NO -- she's not going to DO this any MORE! She runs to the edge of the room.

Erica glares at Bruce and runs over to Bianca to soothe her. She says it's not HER fault, it's Bruce's -- he thinks he's a genius, but SHE made him and SHE can break him! Bianca insists it's not him -- she just doesn't know how to do this and she wants to go home! She begs Erica not to make her do this. Erica says she doesn't have to do it -- they'll get another photographer. Bianca says Bruce is the best in the business. Erica still completely misses the point and insists they'll do this another time with a different photographer -- she'll make everything all right! She clops away, leaving Bianca looking forlorn.

Laura walks over and sympathizes with Bianca, who is blaming herself. Laura thinks this is NOTHING compared to the things supermodels pull -- if she doesn't want her picture taken today, let THEM deal with it! Leo thanks her for being there. Laura gazes lovingly at Bianca and says she wouldn't have missed it. She gives her goodbyes -- a long one for Bianca and a casual one to Leo [I think whoever guessed that Laura and Bianca would get together is probably right]

Bruce and Erica walk over and Bruce apologizes to Leo. Leo snaps that he knows who he is and doesn't NEED Bruce's PERMISSION. Erica offers Bianca a ride home, but Bianca says she's fine. Amazingly enough, Erica says okay, kisses her cheek and leaves! Bianca looks very, very sad. Leo asks if she's REALLY okay and she stares meaningfully, yet uncertainly at him. He stares at her.

Bianca says she was wrong about her mother -- she thought that she would be surprised and shocked, maybe, but she was just wrong. Leo says Erica was just angry. Bianca says that easy for HIM to say -- HE'S not GAY -- she IS -- she's ABnormal! He says Erica was just being dramatic -- she was PROTECTING him -- she thought he was being insulted. Bianca: "Of course! Somebody called you gay! What could be worse than THAT?" She storms a few feet away. He says that today was just a bust all the way around -- they should do something else like go to the movies and dinner and just talk about something else. Bianca agrees. After all, she's only 16 -- what does SHE know about anything? Besides, she's only had that one experience at a time when she was dealing with a big problem and living in a dorm with other girls who were dealing with their OWN big problems. Leo looks skeptically at her and asks if she's trying to talk herself out of being gay. She looks frustrated.

[For the first time, I actually see through a WINDOW at SOS -- through the gold shimmery tinsel, a street and a parked car can be seen] Bianca says that when Sarah, the girl she had been involved with, said she wasn't gay anymore and that she never was, she thought Sarah was lying to or fooling herself. But now Bianca thinks that maybe it IS possible to stop being gay! Leo says some people stop being gay and some people just pretend to. Bianca is really confused -- how does she know? He points out that she's NEVER been attracted to guys. She says she knows that's what she SAID, but ... He asks if she is saying she wants to be with a guy. She says it couldn't be just ANY guy. They are friends and she can count on him, right? He stands, looks sternly at her and asks if she's saying she wants to make love to him.

Robin "Bianca & Leo would have made a beautiful baby" Coutellier

Blast From The Past - Detailed Friday Update, 11/3/00, Part 1 of 3

2011-09-27T01:44:00.000-07:00

I decided to post some older stuff just to keep things going. Back in 2000 (and some before that, maybe) I was posting a detailed update for each Friday's show in rec.arts.tv.soaps(.abc). I am incapable of giving a brief, concise summary and, aided by the captioning/magazine function of my TV video card in my old PC described just about every nuance for every minute of the show. My wrists have been problematic for a very long time, though, and I finally had to give it up. Since they were ridiculously long, though, that gives me some more material to work with NOW, so I'm going to break up this update into (I think) 3 parts over the course of a few days. I just picked this one at random from my archives.

AMC - UPDATE - Friday, November 3, 2000, Part 1

Previously on AMC

Arlene, surprising Hayley on Halloween night by showing up at the condo: "Hayley, please help me." [Sirens] Hayley: "You've got two choices -- stay and go to jail or run for your life."

Tad to Dixie upon having their romantic interlude interrupted by urgent business: "I'm going to run back here, ok? Do me a favor and change into something ridiculously comfortable!"

Bianca's thoughts as she looks at the large portrait of Erica in the living room: "I'm never going to tell you the truth. I know it would kill you if you knew what I'm really like."

TAD & DIXIE'S HOUSE

David, his hand still bandaged, quietly lets himself into the living room and looks around. He's horny and on the PROWL! He stands there for a moment, hugging himself and trying to fight his surging hormones. He sees Dixie's sweater on the couch and rushes over to pick it up. He slowly fondles it, sensuously rubbing it over his face and neck, starting to breathe hard from desire. His gaze falls on a picture of Tad and Dixie from their most recent wedding. He drops the sweater, then runs over and grasps the photo frame. He breathes even harder as he sees the image of a braless Dixie. He covers Tad's image with his palm and runs his fingers lightly over Dixie's image. He closes his eyes, aching with desire and appears to be on the edge of an orgasm! He fights the urge, resulting some sort of heart spasm, causing him to drop the frame and clutch at his heart.

Dixie, hearing the frame hit the floor, calls out questioningly to Tad. David instantly recovers from his heart spasm as she says: "Is that you? Did you forget something?" He teeters hesitantly, but with the look of a hunter. The camera pans toward their bedroom, which has mysteriously relocated itself from the 2nd floor to just off the living room. As we hear David breathing, it appears he is stalking slowly toward the bedroom -- it's a TRICK, though, because Dixie prances out wearing an extremely low-cut, micro-mini negligee with an open matching "robe", black pantyhose and high-heels, David is nowhere to be seen. [Psyched!] She asks the empty living room: "Did you break something?" She walks across the room and calls again. David slinks out from behind a wall. Dixie's back is to him as he looks at her legs and ass, gulping. Dixie spies the broken picture frame and bends to pick it up (but then leaves it there). She keeps calling for Tad. She looks worried, but then realizes that Tad must be playing love games: "Oh, I get it -- you want to play Phantom of the Opera? Ok. She chuckles with sexy anticipation. As she starts to remove her robe, she acts coquettish and says: "We're aaaallll alone, and I'm in the mood for a singing lesson!" She saucily tosses the robe over her head and behind her. She hears footsteps as David purposefully walks up behind, taking slow, deep breaths. Dixie, acting school-girlishly innocent: "I'm going to sing now. I hope no one comes up behind me to ravage me!" She giggles and whispers: "I feel a mysterious presence. Who is it?" She turns around and is astounded to see DAVID standing there! She opens her mouth and starts to step back as he looks at her. He is breathing erratically and twitching here and there. [situation aside, his arousal is certainly turning ME on!]

Still panting, David slowly steps up to Dixie ad tells her not to be afraid. She backs up, then twirls and puts her robe back on (yeah, like THAT covers much of anything]. David slumps onto the couch and she screeches at him not to sit. He apologizes and says he HAS to. He rubs his eyes and forehead and says he worried about her -- she's making a big mistake. She yells at him not to worry about it -- she doesn't want to talk about it, she wants him to GO! He says he's not talking about her job, he's talking about her HEALTH -- it would be very dangerous for her to switch doctors right now. She walks away from him and fumes that he's NOT the only cardiologist in the world. He agrees, but says nobody in the WORLD knows her heart like HE does. No one can take care of her the way the HE can. He stares meaningfully at her and she looks back at him, somewhat pityingly and a little frightened.

He walks closer and she backs up. She babbles that, if it makes him feel better, she'll have the cardiologist send him copies of all her reports. His voice breaking, he earnestly asks her why she is pushing him AWAY? She's very frightened now and says she's not going to talk about this. She opens the door and says he has to leave, NOW! He yells at her to STOP IT and slams the door shut again. Why does she keep pretending that this isn't happening? She yells that he broke into her house! He keeps yelling at her, telling him that she's KILLING him! Can't she SEE that? David: "I can't stop the way that I'm feeling for you! How can I? All I have to do is close my eyes and picture the way that I see you every single day!" [Altogether now: NAKED?] She protests that she WORKED for him -- she answered his PHONE! He points and says no, she KISSED him! She says it was just a moment -- a mistake. He's near tears as he says: "No -- it was much more than that, Dixie. I SWEAR, I'll DIE if I can't have you! Are you going to let me DIE, Dixie? Is that what you really want?" He stares at her with pleading eyes and she stares back uncomprehendingly at his delusion.

Dixie tells David he doesn't look well. He seems to be fighting off a faint and is rubbing his neck like he has a sore throat. Still drawing shuddering breaths, he tells her that all he needs to be well is HER. He wants her to tell him that they can be friends again. She goes into major blink-mode as she tells him that he's just PLAYING with her LIFE! He comes into her home where she has a life, a family and a husband. He says he's not trying to take anything from her. She agrees that he's trying to GIVE her something and she doesn't WANT IT! She insists she's happy with her life and she loves her husband and he loves her. David thinks that has nothing to do with THEM! She knows David by now -- does she honestly think he's the kind of person who would throw himself at a woman who didn't WANT him? [Ally] Does she REALLY think that he would BEG for a little affection from someone who REALLY wanted him to go away? Dixie: "Are you kidding me? I have never met such a HUGE, unMITigated EGO!" She's very forceful as she loudly tells him: "Let me tell you something, David! I don't WANT you! You DISGUST me, as a matter of fact! I HATE you and I want you to LEAVE!" She threatens him with a call to the police and he tells her to go ahead -- he's not leaving! They'll have to drag him out of there in HANDCUFFS! She suddenly darts for the phone, which just as suddenly rings, causing her to yelp and jump. After covering her face with her hands, she quickly answers. She triumphantly spins and with glittering eyes and a shaky voice, tells David that it's Tad. He glowers at her.

Naturally, Dixie doesn't say a thing about the imminent danger she is in. She explains her shortness of breath by saying she just ran up the stairs from the basement laundry room. From her side of the conversation, it's clear that he's tied up with business and won't be home after all. She says she understands and they say goodbye. David (and everyone else) wants to know why she didn't tell Tad about him being there. She says it's because Tad would KILL David. He asks if that was the only reason and she says that Tad is coming home right now. David states what even a toddler would have picked up on -- no he's not -- Tad called to tell her that he was going to be held up. It's just them, so now they can have a long, PRIVATE conversation. She tearfully whispers that she loves her husband and when he cheated on her with Liza, she felt like everything he had ever said to her was a lie. She didn't think he could possibly love her or respect what they had if he could do something like that. David says that now she knows it can be more complicated than that -- she could love her husband and still be looking at David the way she's doing right now. Her voice gets higher and higher as she tells him that she really DOES care about him, and she thinks that it's possible that she's the only one he's let into his heart and that means something, it really DOES [by this time her words are unintelligible and voice is so high-pitched that dogs up and down my street are howling]

She gains a tiny bit of composure and says that all she has to do is think of the look on Tad's face to know that she would NEVER hurt him! David turns away and rubs his forehead, apologizing and asking her to forgive him. She cries that he doesn't want her to FORGIVE him -- he wants her to feel SORRY for him! She breaks down again and says she doesn't know why she feels the way she does about him -- she doesn't WANT to and she HATES it -- she HATES herself! David turns back to her and begs her not to feel that way. She's too good and sweet and special. She's covering her face in her hands and crying and looking downward. She sounds like a distraught 12-year-old manning the drive-up window at a run-down burger joint, as she says [for the benefit of those who couldn't possibly have understood what she was saying without benefit of closed-captioning]: "I don't feel GOOD! I don't feel SWEET or SPECIAL! I feel like I'm DROWNING!" He somberly and thoughtfully says he thinks they're both right -- she doesn't REALLY want him to go, but he really shouldn't be there. She grimaces through her tears and shakes her head. He says he never should have come there and he'll go; she nods. As he walks away, he looks sick, then faints. Dixie falls to her knees to help him.

Dixie paws futilely at David's leather jacket until he sits up, gasping for air. She keeps asking if he's okay and what does he need? She's bending over displaying quite a bit of her bodacious ta-tas as she says this. Amazingly, he manages to keep his eyes OFF of said bodacious ta-tas as he despairingly says: "You said that when you're with me, you feel like you're drowning. I have felt that way my ENTIRE LIFE! Like I'm sinking, just trying to survive!" She tells him it's okay -- she's going to go call an ambulance. He grabs hers and tells her not to leave him! Their eyes lock and he says: "God help me! I would DIE before I hurt you, Dixie. You're my last hope!" With a shaking hand and panting breath, he brushes aside her hair as saxophone music suddenly starts to play. He pulls her face close and she moves with it. Their lips lock slowly, then more passionately as they start to move with the groove.

[ to be continued tomorrow ... ]

Irreverently submitted,

Robin "did David take a shower before going over to 'seduce' Dixie?"
Coutellier

The View (Fri, 9/23/11) - Fashion

2011-09-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

I noticed on today's The View, with many of the cast members of AMC, that Rebecca Buddig (Greenlee) was wearing those horrid black strappy fetish shoes. THAT DOES IT! I can only assume that those are really RB's personal shoes. Either that or she knew I'd be watching and see them, and she wore them just to get a rise out of me and see if I'd mention it.

Robin "and it worked" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 9/23/11

2011-09-23T15:38:00.000-07:00

LOVED JAR's snarky comment that maybe Babe and Uncle Stewart in heaven can throw down cows and paintbrushes. The thought of falling cows is daunting, but if one fell on JAR, I would be okay with that

Stuart has been in a limbo/coma for at least a couple of years, he was JUST brought out of it and he's coming home TONIGHT? Puh-lease! He's still looking around trying to figure things out!

Winifred! When did SHE start working for them again?

I thought David was still in custody. Just because he temporarily got out to save Stuart doesn't mean that he should be able to roam the town again.

I DID like the Rhett Butler moment for Jack. He's walked out on her before, though, and he always comes back, so it didn't have quite the impact it probably could have had.

I'm surprised that Hayley did not return this week. I'm fine with Maturdo not returning, though.

Oh THAT SUCKS! They end the show, not just the episode, but a 41-year, 5-day-a-week show with a single gunshot and jump to black? That's IT? We didn't even get to see Stuart come home!

JAR was the one with the gun. As far as we know, no one else had a gun. He probably shot at Bianca and/or Marissa, but it could have been someone else or it could have HIT someone else (like Stuart coming home). Or he could have committed suicide. Or it could simply have gone off accidentally while he was waving it around.

We are supposed to watch the Prospect Park version of AMC when and IF it goes onto the internet at some point in the future. What if that falls through? What about people who don't have high-speed internet who won't be able to watch the PP version? A cliffhanger, by definition, is something that WILL BE CONTINUED. That was the official end of AMC as we know it, so to fire a shot into a crowded party and just go to black was a slap in the face to the fans!

What a disappointing way to end the show!

Robin "I think I'll pretend I didn't see that last part" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 9/22/11

2011-09-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Back to yesterday's show, I agree that that was an unfortunate choice of haircuts for Justin Bruening (Jamie).

Are we ever going to find out just what it was that David did while he had Dixie that scared the bejesus out of her, other than keeping her captive and befuddled and alone?

I liked it when Tad told Cara that if anyone can slap Hayward around, it's gotta be HER. I think I agree. She won't put up with David's shit. I'm glad they semi-paired them for the finale.

Come on, Adam. Stuart was just brought back from the dead literally moments before. Was that REALLY the right time to spill your guts about being the one who shot and killed him? Yeah, I know, there IS no other time.

So, who is JAR going to shoot? Marissa? Himself? Bianca? David? Adam? Those are people he probably feels deserve it. Or will he accidentally shoot someone? Will he aim for someone and accidentally kill Uncle Stewart all over again? If he accidentally shoots someone, it could be just about ANYONE. Or will he have a moment of clarity and throw the gun in the river (for some kid to find)?

Robin "stay tuned for the next ... and LAST ... episode of AMC" Coutellier

ALL MY CHILDREN, (ALMOST) ALL MY LIFE

2011-09-22T01:22:00.000-07:00

Watching the show this week has been heartrending as the days count down and I realize that it won't be there after Friday. Non-soap-fans don't and can't understand how important AMC (and long-time soaps in general) has been to the lives of so many people.

For long-term AMC fans, it goes much deeper than a show being canceled. AMC has been there for most (in some cases ALL) of our lives. When things went wrong in our own lives, AMC was there; we could escape to Pine Valley. It was a never-ending story! But now it IS ending. Watching this last week of shows has driven home to me just how big a part of my life it has been.

AMC has been in my life since I was 15. I couldn't see it every day, of course, but I ALWAYS watched it if I had the opportunity and caught up fairly quickly each time. AMC was there when my son was born. It was there when he grew up and went off to war (TWICE). AMC was there for my first and last jobs. It was there through my falling in love, falling out of love and devastating heartbreaks. It was there when I was doing well, and it was there when I was in a very bad way.

In 1982 I bought a VCR so that I could record AMC every day, and I've missed very few shows since that day. My son grew up with AMC being on. He didn't watch the show on a regular basis, but he still knew many of the characters, simply through osmosis. He liked Palmer's deviousness, had a crush on Maria and thought baby Laura Cudahey was really cute (she reminded both of us of my adorable niece as a toddler).

Watching montages of past shows didn't just bring back memories of characters when they were younger or characters and actors who are no longer with us; they bring back memories of our OWN lives and what was happening in real life. Fashions and hairstyles came and went on AMC and in real life, albeit on a much smaller scale for most of us. They had babies and we had babies. They lost beloved family members, and so did we. We've met good friends, on-line and face-to-face, all brought together by our devotion to AMC in all its nuances.

We can chronicle our lives by something that was a constant presence. It was a touchstone, always there for us, tugging at our emotions, making us laugh, cry, get angry, or just plain serving a need to ridicule something. I know it often made ME feel superior to some of the characters at times, and that was okay. Who better to feel superior to than a fictional TV character? It was reassuring to know that at least *I* hadn't been married 10 times, never had grief sex with someone other than my SO, never married someone to spite someone else, never had to wonder about the paternity of my child and usually didn't jump to ridiculous conclusions based on seeing a hug or hearing only PART of a sentence (notice I said "usually"). AMC was there for me to vent, one way or another, M-F, year in and year out.

And now it's ending. Time marches on. Our lives will continue, but we'll be missing something that was very significant in our lives. Non-soap watchers cannot understand the immensity of this loss. No, it's not the death of a loved one, but it IS the death of something we'd always thought would be there for us, no matter what. Like family, AMC could sometimes try our patience and make us want to wring its TV-neck; but like family, those of us still here at the end stuck it out through good and bad, because it HAS been part of our lives and it IS like family. It's been fun, thought-provoking, tedious, sexy, stupid, smart, disappointing, uplifting, painful and rewarding, all rolled into one show over the course of nearly a lifetime.

NO other TV show has been quite as important to me as AMC. Not a single one has been there for me on an almost daily basis the way AMC has. It has been there for all of my adult life and half of my teens. I will never again feel the kind of devotion and loyalty to a TV show that I have felt with AMC. How could I? Other shows come and go and there are hundreds of TV channels to choose from, not to mention the internet and whatever other forms of media are yet to be invented. They are temporary; they start and end like standalone books. They have seasons and reruns, but don't usually last for more than a handful of years at the most, and first-run shows are only on once a week in any case. AMC was there for the long haul.

Losing AMC may not be as devastating as losing a loved one in real life, but it IS a significant loss.

Robin Coutellier

BC - Wed, 9/21/11

2011-09-22T01:13:00.000-07:00

Awwwww!!! They start out the episode with MEK dedicating the show to Mary Fickett. I'm tearing up already and I'm only seconds into the episode! Waaaaa!

Well, I guess my speculation about SMG playing the (unseen and unheard, so far) interviewer was wrong. Maybe it will still be someone we know from the past, though.

It's good to see Dr. Joe and CatRuth, even if it is bittersweet in so many ways.

ADAM! Babe (I say with not nearly as much enthusiasm).

How can Maria not know what SMG's character meant when she said she knew she was homesick, but didn't know that PV was the place for which she was homesick? Uh, hello? Maria/Maureen? Maria's memory gradually came back as she remembered places that seemed so familiar to her and that she was drawn to, so she should have been able to "get" that. That said, it was cute and nostalgic to see the two of them return to the show that made them famous.

In-Jokes:

SMG's character is seeing vampires. Maria says that vampires are popular. SMG says that she was seeing them BEFORE they became so popular.

Maria said she had to go when she saw her cellphone ringing; she said it was an important call from Miami :-)

Tad thinks something weird is going on with all these great things happening and people showing up. Hey, there's JAMIE! Maybe Father Clarence is making an early appearance this year.

I hate to admit it, but I was actually moved by JAR's wrenching realization that his entire life has turned to shit AND on top of all that, Babe (including the one with the Glittery Hoo-Hoo) was really, most sincerely dead. Then Babe told him to try to remember what a good man he is. Babe! WTF? No, he's NOT a good man, and if he thinks about THAT, it will only reinforce his ... shall we say "bad decisions".

Tad and Dixie met 20 years ago, hmmm? More like 22-23 years ago, and JAR is certainly older than 22. Okay, I'll let it slide; it's nowhere near as headache-inducing as trying to decipher the ages of Erica, her children, and anyone else in her long-term orbit.

They kind of telegraphed today that Stuart was going to be revived, but it still felt great when that turned out to be true! He's like the one GOOD person in PV, no matter what happened. It was also a great moment when Adam sort of channeled Stuart as a memory as he sensed Stuart's presence in the world.

Tidbit: Opal's cellphone number is 610-555-0145.

Robin "make 'em laugh, make 'em cry, make 'em wai--nope, no more waiting" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 9/20/11

2011-09-21T00:47:00.000-07:00

JAR follows Griff to a place where some of David's reanimated tissue is being stored. Griff warns him that it's not Babe there, and he has no idea what he's risking! Okay, this totally cracked me up because I had JUST finished watching a couple of episodes of Family Guy, and the last thing I saw was the end of the the "retarded horse/gay gene" episode wherein a dead (for about 2-3 weeks), battered horse carcass lands on the kitchen table (and it's on the heels of watching Young Frankenstein yesterday), so you can only imagine what I was visualizing/afraid might be under the sheet! *I'm* not even sure what I was visualizing, but it wasn't pretty and it certainly wasn't glittery

Am I the only one who, when confronted with the cast from That Mastication Show as they invite us to join them, flips them off, often accompanied by an loud, unvarnished "FUCK YOU!"? Didn't think so. (nope, I'm not even going to use asterisk censors for that)

Most of the actors all seem so relaxed in these last days. They've probably been dreading the axe falling for so long that now that it's fallen they can relax and be themselves.

I'd like to say I was surprised that Kendall and Bianca agreed that SMG might be good to play one of them in the movie of Erica's life, but after the first couple of interview shots and based on rumblings I've heard, I figured that not only would her name come into play as far as casting the movie goes, but I'm guessing that SMG is playing the character who is interviewing them. (That's not a spoiler because that's only a guess)

The flashbacks were nice, but there should have been WAY more Mona and WAY less Ryan, and given Mona's long-term love for Phoebe's husband it might have been a good way to segue some shots of Phoebe and Dr. Tyler, too.

Okay, I'm starting to get weepy now. It physically HURT to delete my Wednesday-at-1-am Soapnet AMC scheduled recording of AMC.

Robin "sniffle, sniffle, sniff ... sniff -- wait, is that a HORSE I smell?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 9/19/11

2011-09-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

I was just watching Young Frankenstein wherein Dr. FrOnkestein talks about reanimating dead tissue. Then I thought of David bringing so many people back from the dead. Alas, like Dr. Frankenstein and Dr. FrOnkenstein, Dr. Dave is simply a misunderstood genius. I would love for Griffin to show up at Dr. Dave's lair where the reanimated dead tissue is being kept and have Cloris Leachman make a surprise guest appearance as Frau Blucher, office manager (and have the horses at Wildwind start neighing) Helga Voynitzheva/Susan Willis would have GREAT in that capacity but, alas, both Helga and Ms. Willis have passed on and are unlikely to be reanimated. Cloris Leachman is alive and well, though.

I did not like eBabe's hair today. She looked kind of odd. Maybe it just takes getting used to, but I hardly recognized her with her hair back.

It was so great to see Angie be able to SEE the baby and Maya! At least the TIIC at ABC gave them time enough for THAT to happen, although I agree with Aisling that it should have happened via the Christmas Angel. Maybe DAVID is the Christmas Angel, "reanimated". Yeah, so his behavior hasn't exactly been angelic for many years, but you'd be cranky, too, if you spent most of your life in a dark box and the rest of it with a pointy (albeit pine-scented), sappy, wooden stick up your ass.

LOVED the Hubbard montage today. I think they were remiss, however, not to show flashbacks to Jesse's Uncle Frank and Aunt Nancy, who took him in after his mother died, not to mention at least Angie's mom, if not her father.

I'm wondering if they'll show credits at the end of the last show that include everyone who has ever had at least a contract role on the show since 1970. That might take too long, but they could zip it by really fast, knowing how many people will be recording the show in one capacity or another. I, too, could not bring myself to delete today's show from my Tivo as I usually do after watching. Not only that, but I set all my Season Passes for AMC to record at BEST quality for the rest of the week (and to get today's show at best quality on Soapnet at 1am). It's sad to know that I'll be deleting my AMC Season Passes. No way in HELL am I going to give any ratings points to That Mastication Show that shall not be named.

Are we going to hear the G-Word this week? Maybe THAT will be the end-note on the series finale.

Robin "g-word, g-word, g-word, g-word, g-word ..." Coutellier

BC - Fri, 9/16/11

2011-09-18T23:37:00.000-07:00

I LOVED that Dixie mentioned that David certainly had someone cut her hair while she was in limbo. She's had so many different hairstyles that they completely ignored (I particularly remember when she got her hair cut extremely short while in the of a love scene with Tad in the middle of the night in the Napa Valley where she didn't even KNOW anyone but Tad, let alone a 24-hour salon).

What is it with all these women in PV who just assume that the baby they are carrying belongs to them and ONLY them, and that the father will have no say in the child's life in any way? I understand FEELING like that, but that doesn't fly in this day and age, not in the USA, anyway.

Oh for God's sake, Erica just marry Jack and get it over with! Why does a wedding have to put off over and over again? You already HAD your dream wedding with Jack. You've had a multitude of weddings, dreamy and otherwise. Just go to City Hall, sign the papers and get ON with it! And while you're at it, buy your OWN damn star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame; as it has been pointed out, it's not like some committee decides you are worthy of it -- you just PAY for it.

It was good to see Brooke sparring with Erica again and both of them realizing that it was stupid to keep on doing it. Erica was right, though; Brooke often DID end up with Erica's leftovers.

Robin "I can't believe there are only 5 more shows left " Coutellier

BC - Thu, 9/15/11

2011-09-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

Maya doesn't know how she's going to pay for ANYTHING, yet she takes off with her baby without having any plans in place. She was on the phone with someone about employment and talking about having to go to school at night and pay for childcare. Uh, how is she planning to pay for school? How is she going to pay for the books? Does she have computer access to use for school? How IS she planning to pay for childcare while she's at school? How is she going to pay for the cellphone she used to call whomever it was she was talking to? Why is she spending money at Krystal's when she could just as well go to a fast-food joint? How is she going to pay for diapers and all the other things babies need? I know she's going to stay with Liza and Colby, but that's really the only thing she's got. She should have stayed with Angie and Jesse until she had more than one duck in a row as far as Lucy was concerned.

Robin "we all have to suck it up & bide our time at one time or another in our lives" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 9/13/11

2011-09-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

Greenlee talked about walking into the penthouse and it being so eerily quiet. It's the wee hours of the morning. Where is Emma if Ryan is out drinking at the bar and Greenlee went over to talk to Kendall?

I like this episode. The whole thing consisted of people talking to each other in the wee hours of the morning, sharing feelings, stories and confidences, and simply thanking each other for being in their lives. It's part of the wind-down, of course, but it's a nice part. It's an acknowledgement that everyone is moving on, that bad things happen in life, but that the people are all still connected, regardless of what the future holds. It's back to CHARACTERS, not inventing exciting events that throw years of history and personalities out the window for the sake of a quick flash. It would be boring if all episodes were like this one, but I thought it was a nice touch.

Robin "it's sad that it had to come down to this to get back to what really counts" Coutellier

Near Brands - JE Microwave

2011-09-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

Some eagle-eyed viewers caught one of the latest near brands used as a prop the other day when Madison brought Scott a house-warming gift: a brand new JE Microwave Oven! By popular request, here is a partial screencap of the near-brand:

I'm not sure what the extra doohickey on in the top box is. It looks like a purple shoebox to me, but I'm guessing it has something to do with microwaving.

BC - Mon, 9/12/11

2011-09-13T02:06:00.000-07:00

Has anyone stopped to consider that Mookie is the biological father of Lucy and that he might come back and try to assert his rights as such? I don't think there are any police reports to back up Maya's claims that he physically abuse her. If nothing else, he should be paying child support. If he dies, the child would be entitled to SS Survivor benefits, so his paternity should be established, one way or another.

So David was the one being scammed. Ryan wasn't REALLY shot. They're going to keep teasing us, using our hopes and dreams of Ryan's death, something we've yearned for year after year, and then dash those hopes yet again.

Robin "oh why do they torture us so by keeping our fondest wishes just out of reach, right up until the end?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 9/9/11

2011-09-11T16:54:00.000-07:00

Greenlee tells Zach that maybe it would have been better for everyone if he hadn't come back (because he's being loyal to David). Gee, Greenlee, the same could be said about YOU, couldn't it? I don't know which was worse, her hooking up with David or her hooking up with Ryan again.

Tidbit: John O'Hurley (who played the movie exec) is Eva La Rue's former husband (she was married to him before she was married to John Callahan).

Someone is shot. Is is Ryan or Zach? Zach had the gun to begin with, so soap logic says ZACH will inadvertently shoot himself with his own gun. I really, Really, REALLY hope it was Ryan, though. Then again, my immediate thought was the Ryan has abs of titanium, so it wouldn't matter anyway.

As predicted, Cara is pregnant.

Robin "gee, what a surprise" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 9/8/11

2011-09-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

I see Madison has given up on the uber-fierce look. Thank goodness.

So is Dixie now officially a Dixie Chick?

Cara thinks she's dying and she has made some "trouble dolls", one for her missing brother, one for not having a place to live, and one for the children she probably won't have. Well, that pretty much cinches it; she's not dying of cancer, she's (as predicted) pregnant with David's baby.

I don't know much about foreclosures, but don't people usually have a more reasonable amount of time than 1 week to get out of the house? Of course, they'll be out of the house ANYWAY in about two weeks.

Sooo, I'm guessing little Trevor is going to discover Ellie's grave (based on the fact that his parents periodically tell him to stay where they can see him, but otherwise pay no attention to his whereabouts). ETA: Apparently not, but it would have been a good opportunity. Maybe he'll still say something about it.

LOD:
Dixie to Tad (when HE was in a chicken suit): "Is that an egg in your basket or are you just happy to see me?"

Robin "Oh come on, it was CUTE!" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 9/7/11

2011-09-08T00:21:00.000-07:00

Is Thorsten Kaye losing his voice? It's always somewhat raspy, but he seems to be deliberately keeping his voice down so as not to strain it. Or maybe it was because he and David were in the middle of a police station and discussing the fact that Zach probably has Griff (or Griff's body) stashed at the warehouse Ryan tried to break into. OTOH, being in a police station or other place where it would be "bad" if someone overheard them never stopped anyone else from talking normally (or even loudly) in the police station or anywhere else in PV.

Awww, how sweet! Sam came back to PV to suck Opal's pillows! He's still a cutie, too!

Wow, Angie's eyes look GREAT considering she just had surgery on them! It's a nice touch that she's not wearing any eye makeup.

Robin "LOVED Verla's 'hidden' wailing" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 9/6/11

2011-09-08T00:17:00.000-07:00

Oh my, Greenlee's hair is QUITE short -- I don't think I've ever seen it that short on her. It's a little truncated, but cute.

LOVED Verla's fur vest! It was so INCREDIBLY tacky! And I liked seeing Carol Burnett reprising her role as Verla. She's also an AMC fan from day one. I'm thinking both Opal and Verla may be disappointed if Sam shows up and turns out to be gay. He DID have that whole Village People mustache going on, after all.

Robin "ETA: apparently he's NOT gay" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 9/2/11

2011-09-04T22:59:00.000-07:00

Who wears a short, skin-tight dress to move? Cara. It has always struck me as odd that she puts SOOO much effort into how she looks while making such a big deal about roughing it while with Doctors Without Borders? (Yeah, it's a lame joke, but the wording was just BEGGING for it). Even in the flashback in a tent with Jake she was wearing what looked to be a very uncomfortable (but stylish and quite uplifting) bra.

(Not spoiler, just a speculation/question) Are they going to kill off Angie via a stroke? Way back in the early 80s Jesse's Uncle Frank died from stroke. On a TUESDAY--who dies on a TUESDAY on soaps? Frank had high blood pressure and his death was part of a storyline about how black men have a tendency to have high blood pressure and should ALWAYS take their medication, even if they are feeling better. If they DO kill her off, she'll probably at least get to see Jesse and Frankie before she goes.

Obviously Zach has a plan as far as Project Orpheus goes. I didn't think he would be so robotic about jumping on the David bandwagon, so I'm glad to know that he's got something up his sleeve (or perhaps buried in all that hair).

I'd LOVE to see Sam Brady again! He was a nice guy and sexy to boot! I DO remember him dancing with Verla, and maybe they did take off together, but I remember Sam and Opal breaking up because he was falling in love with Jenny.

Is Cara pregnant with David's baby? She's checking her blood to see if the cancer came back, but with all the baby talk on David's part, I'm thinking she's pregnant. After all, women on soaps generally start feel symptoms such as fainting and/or morning sickness within about 6-12 hours of conception.

Robin "if that's the case, Cara is already overdue for pregnancy nausea" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 9/1/11

2011-09-02T00:28:00.000-07:00

I have simple templates that I use for Boogie Chillens on USENET, one with spoiler space and one without. I just changed the month in the templates from 8 to 9. It's just so sad that there won't be a change from 9 to 10 :-(

I'm glad they at least took Chandler Enterprises away from JAR.

Dixie told Tad that, deep down, JAR is a good kid. She thinks they (she and Tad) did good. No you didn't; JAR IS AN ASSHOLE! It's not like he's a good-guy with momentary lapses into ASSHOLE mode; he's an ASSHOLE MOST OF THE TIME, with momentary lapses into good-guy mode.

Robin "there is not enough time left to convince me that JAR is or ever WILL be a 'good guy'" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 8/31/11

2011-09-02T00:26:00.000-07:00

It's great to see Agnes Nixon again! That said, why did they bring her character in in a wheelchair if she was "critical"?

I love how David said that Pine Valley hospital wouldn't exist without Agnes.

Does the name "Eckhardt" have a special meaning? Ah, Francine says that Eckhardt is Agnes Nixon's maiden name. I KNEW it had to have some significance!

How did Mrs. Eckhardt know David's father enough to recognize him in the tunnel of light? David only came to Pine Valley because he was following Ally Doyle here; he's not FROM Pine Valley. All things considered, though, I suppose that his father's spirit would have the capability recognize a connection and tell Agnes to give David a message.

Robin "I expected the message to consist of two words, but the message given was close enough" Coutellier

BC, Mon-Tue, 8/29-30/11

2011-08-31T00:25:00.000-07:00

Tad shows a lot of empathy for Jesse having to lose his baby and bury it in the park. I was waiting for Tad to say "Hey, for what it's worth, I buried someone in the park, too."

Oh no he DI-INT! Ryan has the audacity to snark at Zach for speaking for his wife and not letting her have any say in the matter. The matter is that Zach bought a building out from under Ryan, a building that RYAN decided would be perfect to house both Cambias and Fusion together. Ryan surprised Greenlee with the fact that he put a bid on it, but Kendall was never mentioned, even though she is Greenlee's partner. Today Kendall said that Greenlee told her about it, but the fact remains that this was a deal that BOTH men were deciding on behalf of the "little ladies".

Ugh! I really don't like Zach's hairy look. He looks like a street person and it makes his face look fat. Did he gain weight and is trying to hide it with hair?

Lucy is screaming her little head off and all Frankie and Randi can do about it is talk and wonder why. How about PICKING HER UP?
Why hasn't Angie asked whose baby Jesse replaced Ellie with? They were in an empty house. Angie passed out. Where did Jesse get a baby at that time of night in the moments from when Angie passed out until she came to again? I know Angie is traumatized by the news that her biological baby died, but she's also bonded with Lucy. Plus there's the time between when Jesse told Angie at the apartment until the time he took her to Ellie's grave. Angie didn't ask even ONCE about the origins of the baby that's been living with them since Ellie was born?

That said, Debbi Morgan gave a stellar performance today!

Robin "slap THAT onto the Emmy reel!" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 8/24/11

2011-08-25T13:31:00.000-07:00

Amanda gets sprung from the hospital the day after (possibly 2 days after) a hysterectomy and she goes to a party? Un-f**king-believable!

Dixie announces that she's going for a swim and adds that the doctor calls it "hydrotherapy". What doctor? When did she go see a doctor? Wasn't the doctor remotely curious about the fact that she's returned from the DEAD? You'd think there would be government agents around her ala E.T.

Robin "guess she got over that whole NO-DOCTORS/NO HOSPITALS thing" Coutellier

BC - Wed-Fri, 8/17-19

2011-08-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

Wasn't Zach's bed on the other side of the room on Tuesday?
Kendall and the boys are ready to leave the hospital. Griff offers them a ride and Kendall accepts. Uh, how did they get to the hospital in the first place. Wouldn't both boys need age-appropriate child safety seats? That made NO sense under the circumstances.

Robin "and then Griff asks her if she can find her own way back to the hospital - what a prince!" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 8/16/11

2011-08-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

Damn, Jesse needs to lay down some weather-stripping on the bottom of their front door. He was able to easily see the shadows of Mookie's feet shuffling around outside the front door!

Jesse KNOWS that Mookie is a controlling and probably violent guy, yet he just leaves, telling Maya to make Mookie go away. WTF? He leaves a dangerous man alone with the nanny and the BABY?

Ewww! Kendall gives Zach a nice long kiss; can you imagine what Zach's breath must be like after all this time?

Zach wants to leave and moves to get up from the bed, but Kendall insists that he stay because he has an infection. Pot, Kettle.

OMG, they actually WENT THERE and showed a love scene with Bianca and eBabe (at least the beginning of it)! I skipped through the Ryan/Greenlee love scene, but this is a whole nother ballgame (so to speak)! They still don't kiss convincingly, but the fact that they showed it at ALL is kind of amazing. Since I don't watch other soaps, I don't know if any of the other ones have shown lesbian love scenes (or gay ones, for that matter) or not, so I don't have that to compare it with this one.

Robin "they have me watching more frequently now because they keep surprising me; I can't believe I actually LIKE their version of short-timer attitude" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 8/15/11

2011-08-16T22:56:00.000-07:00

Tad goes to PVH, holds up Cara's housekey and asks Cara why she moved out. She didn't move out; she left her key there with the PURPOSE of leaving, but I don't think she took so much as her purse with her, so in my book she hasn't moved out yet. In fact, she's barely been at work for more than a few minutes. BTW, WTF is up with a KEY? No one ever locks their doors in PV!

David says Zach has an infection and he needs antibiotics pumped into him. Let me get this straight: David routinely invents his own drugs, brings multiple people back from the dead, keeps them alive, yet in some sort of twilight sleep for YEARS on end while they are hidden away from the rest of the world, yet he doesn't have any antibiotics at his facilities? BOGUS!

Oh look! They threw us a bone by having Erica not only EAT something, but she eat a special sugary pastry and enjoyed it immensely. Can the G-Word be far behind?

Is Ryan's microphone not synced up with the other ones? Every time he talks he blasts me out of my chair, but if I turn it down enough to normal his volume, I can barely hear Kendall or Greenlee (which is not necessarily a bad thing).

Wow, Dixie has made remarkable strides since she got out of Oakhaven.

Robin "I just KNOW she's going to be singing 'You Are My Sunshine' to JAR in the final show" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 8/12/11

2011-08-12T20:05:00.000-07:00

It was HILARIOUS when Ryan hopped into Dr. Davids Room O' Undeathingdo via the air vent or whatever it was. Whenever I see him do something like that, I always think back to the time I saw him race into a burning room to save Hayley and then unnecessarily JUMP to the other side of her prone figure in order to strike a pose upon landing like a superhero; I never fail to hear (in my mind) Mighty Mouse singing "HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAAAAY!"

Robin "I want to see him wearing tights & a cape before the show ends" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 8/11/11

2011-08-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

Jack gets Jane all the way back to PV and THEN says she might not need to serve time and she MIGHT get off on an insanity plea? WTH would she come back to the US if she thought she might have to go to jail or Oakhaven? This makes NO sense. And she would NOT get off on an insanity plea. Talk about having all your faculties and knowing right from wrong! She set an exceptionally elaborate plan in motion, planned it for possibly YEARS and went through with it, hiding Erica the entire time and going back to check on her, keeping her from escaping, enlisting the services of someone else to guard her, etc. (do you think she reported Ben as an employee and took taxes out of his wages like any good employer?) Crafty, yes. Crazy, NO.

What's with Jane's dowdy ensemble? Her hair's in a sloppy low ponytail, she's wearing big glasses, a beige suit, ear studs (remember she was wondering if her earrings were dangling ENOUGH?) and acting very un-Jane-like. Is she wearing orthopedic oxfords, too? She wanted to BE Erica Kane. Being herself instead does not mean being the OPPOSITE of Erica Kane.

Jack tells Jane that he's grateful that she's taking the rap for Erica stabbing David and says he'll be there for her in court. Presumably he means he'll be her lawyer. Uh, conflict of interest aside, wouldn't he be suborning perjury if he knowingly allows his client to lie in court, or is that only if they actually testify on a witness stand, as opposed to entering a plea? Even if she says she's guilty, she has to allocute her crime (describe what she did, in detail).

That is one God-awful getup Madison is wearing. BUTT-UGLY! I'm amazed that neither Scott nor JAR busted out laughing at the sight of her. I know *I* would have trouble keeping a straight face. Madison, sweetie, there's a difference between being fierce and bold and making a statement versus DESPERATELY trying to APPEAR to be fierce and bold and making a statement.

Uh, in what way did Tad "prepare" JAR to meet his zombie-mother again? He basically threatened him to come over sober or he would regret it for the rest of his life. That's not exactly fair. Without knowing the REASON he would regret it, why SHOULD he show up, drunk or not? That was pretty lame.

Robin "given her dead/undead/dead history, I wouldn't believe that was Dixie, either" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 8/10/11

2011-08-11T01:28:00.000-07:00

Tad says he wants Dixie to understand why he married Cara, but then says he doesn't want to bombard her with too much information, given what she's been through. WTF? She's CLEARLY agitated about the fact that the love of her life is married to someone else and, trust me, if I died and my sweetie married someone else, and then I came back from the dead, I'd want to know ALL about it, especially the part where it's not the way I think it is.

Why is JaNut calling Amanda Mandy? She ALWAYS referred to her as Amanda, usually preceded by "My Precious".

Dixie took off when she pretended to go get a glass of water. What a surprise. Apparently Tad doesn't know her as well as he thinks he does. Even Angie would be able to see THAT coming.

I agree with Aisling - no WAY would they let Amanda wear nail polish or all that makeup for surgery in real life. Her toes didn't look pointy under the blanket, though, so at least she's probably not wearing F-Me pumps into surgery.

Robin "Why didn't they harvest some of her eggs first? Cara would probably volunteer to be a surrogate" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 8/9/11

2011-08-10T01:24:00.000-07:00

Uh, so no one responded after Zach had a seizure at the end of Monday's show? Nice. The next thing we know, Greenlee is waking up near him and checking his pulse, glad that he's not still having seizures.

Hey Jesse, get your paws OFF of Kendall's stuff. Do you have a warrant? I didn't think so, so put the glass down and keep your lipstick comments to yourself!

I guess Dixie forgot that she saw "Kate" when she died. Or that she helped Colby keep "Kate" safe in the bathroom during the fiasco at Angie and Jesse's wedding reception, or that she welcomed her Uncle Palmer to heaven, and never mind that she showed up to help Tad live their entire lives out together in his mind (I'll give that one to the writers and have it be Tad's imagination). Hmm, maybe David IS a god; there certainly seems to be a revolving door in and out of the afterlife, and he's the one with the key.Who's been cutting and styling Dixie's hair?

Kathy wants to know if she can call all her friends and tell them that her Mommy is back. Krystal immediately answers (with Dixie standing right there): "I don't see why not." Really? It's not UP to Krystal. How about the fact that everyone knows Dixie died and the National Intruder might show up on their doorstep at any second, not to mention David Hayward, who was sniffing around only a short while ago. How about the fact that JAR hasn't been told yet? How about the fact that once Kathy tells her friends, all their moms will show up on the doorstep with pies, cakes and photo/video-capable phones? It'll go viral on PVTube within minutes! How about the fact that Tad hasn't been able to tell his WIFE yet? Nope, no reason in the world for Kathy not to tell all her friends right this second.

Off the top of my head, here are some things that have happened while Dixie was gone that she may or may not be interested in hearing about:

Tad found Kathy (check)
Uncle Palmer died
Myrtle died
Julia died
Babe died
Stuart died
Seabone Hunckle just died
The Satin Slayer is Alexander Cambias, and he is behind bars
Adam left town
Erica got an impressive boob job (check)
JAR married eBabe, Babe's twin sister
eBabe adopted AJ
There's a bench in the park named after Dixie
eBabe and JAR got a divorce & a custody battle is a-brewin'
Bianca got married
Bianca had Zach's baby
Bianca got divorced
Kendall had another baby
Cortlandt Manor burned down
eBabe and Bianca are in love
JAR is drinking again because he found out his ex-wife is/has become a lesbian
Krystal bought BJs
No one goes to the boathouse anymore
Bianca and Cousin Caleb now live at Wildwind
Cousin Caleb inherited Cortlandt Electronics
Tad now has a green-card marriage
Greenlee died
Greenlee came back from the dead
While Greenlee was dead, Ryan and Erica shacked up
Tad has a grown son named Damon
Jake married Amanda and they had a baby
Kendall went to "prison"
Kendall almost died several times
Josh was shot by David
Winifred left the Chandler mansion for good
Adam married Annie, then divorced her
Adam and Brooke are together again
Kendall got a heart transplant via Josh's leftover heart
Zach died
JAR had leukemia
Jamie is/still is in Africa or somewhere thereabouts
Liza looks and dresses WAY differently than before, but she's still a bitch
JAR had hepatitis after his bone marrow was illegally harvested
Jesse was never dead (but see above)
Lainie is presumably still in Paris
David died, but was never really dead
Angie and Jesse have a baby
Del's Dixie kidney went kaput
Del's Di kidney went kaput
Del will probably show up looking for Dixie's OTHER kidney
Tad's new wife is Jake's previous wife
Ruth and Joe moved to Florida
As far as we know, Will is STILL dead, but that could change

Robin "and JAR is STILL an asshole" Coutellier

BC - 8/8/11

2011-08-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

Tad's supposed to be a crackjack PI (and, yes, I believe he DID get his PI license in a Cracker Jack box, but that's beside the point). You'd think he would notice someone standing behind him at the park when everything else is so quiet because it's night.

For a couple of people who are about to go on a delayed "honeymoon", Tad and Cara really don't seem that hot for each other. If I were about to go on a weekend jaunt to Martha's Vineyard with my sweetie and we HADN'T had sex yet, we'd probably be all over each other before we got to the point of agreeing to go on a trip where we were, indeed, going to have sex (with each other).

What is the beeping medical equipment supposed to signify? If it's supposed to be Zach's heartbeat, it's WAAY too fast. If that's a normal sound for that room, you'd think it would drive anyone who had to be in the room (including the patient) bonkers.

So are Dixie, Zach and possibly Leo zombies now?

Okay, I know Greenlee is now dealing with Zach being on a bed in the same room (or one that LOOKS like the same room) as Leo was in. You'd think she would at least be gnashing her teeth to get back to finding Leo again, but she seems to have put him completely out of her mind to deal with Zach. I know she thinks it was a dream, and maybe it was, but now she's there with ZACH, right, so how can she know what's real and what's not? How can WE? At this point, as far as Greenlee goes, it's almost like one of those dreams where you dream you were dreaming, and you woke up, and WHEW, it was only a dream, but it seemed so REAL; and then something really bizarre happens, which seems perfectly normal to you, or at least acceptable as reality, and THEN you wake up for real and realize that you dreamed you had a dream and they BOTH seemed really real while you were dreaming them. Don't you HATE that?

Did you hear David refer to Angie as Andy Hubbard?

Robin "the scenes at Ryan's were just plain weird" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 8/5/11

2011-08-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

Did you hear there was a fire at Oakhaven? No, actually, I did NOT because they jumped ahead and it happened off-screen between JaNut showing Erica the gasoline she had saved up in a shampoo bottle and Kendall and Bianca talking about the fire.

I really HATE the fact that they are showing T__ C___ commercials during AMC, but even more than that I hate that they are showing them as the last commercial before returning to AMC after a spate of commercials, so even if you FF, it's hard to miss at least part of it as you jockey to get to the beginning of the next segment of AMC. How UTTERLY disrespectful to longtime fans of AMC!

I just LOVE JaNut! It was GREAT when she reminded Kendall that she was her cellmate back in 1991 or 1992. Damn, that's about 20 years ago! Kendall had already been aged to her early twenties by then, which means the current Kendall should be in her early 40s. I'm not going to try to pin ages at this point, though, because trying to figure out the Erica/Kendall age timewarp is enough to give ANYONE a migraine.

So not only did Oakhaven burn, but it burned to the ground? That's some kind of fire!

Leo has BEEN in Bhutan or is GOING to be in Bhutan? Or are they in Bhutan NOW? WTF? I can see why David's legs would be cramped after the long drive from Pine Valley to Bhutan. I had to look up Bhutan, which, according to Wikipedia is described as: "officially the Kingdom of Bhutan, is a landlocked state in South Asia, located at the eastern end of the Himalayas and bordered to the south, east and west by the Republic of India and to the north by the People's Republic of China."

Hmm, Zach has a tan, too. That David sure knows how to treat his living corpses well! Can't have them looking wan, now can we?

I'm not even sure how I'm feeling about all this. On the one hand, this is GREAT STUFF! On the other hand, it's pretty far-fetched. But since they are going away ANYWAY, WTH? Might as well pull out all the stops!

Robin "I hope the ending consists of the entire still-living cast, past & present, giving the finger to Brian Fronz" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 8/4/11

2011-08-07T23:03:00.000-07:00

Where is Dixie getting her expertly applied makeup?

The inmates at the asylum know who Dixie is; isn't she a Jane Doe as far as the staff at Oakhaven is concerned? Have they even noticed that several people are calling her Dixie? For that matter, why would they take a Jane Doe to Oakhaven? Shouldn't she be in some State--er-Commonwealth facility?

Did you hear the muffled voice over a loudspeaker while Jake was pouring out his "settling for being married" speech to Amanda at the park?

Leo looks pretty damn good for someone who's been in a coma (or whatever kind of physical state he's in) for damn near a decade.

Robin "he's even got a tan" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 8/3/11

2011-08-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Ooh, Tad should NOT wear wide whites. Just ... no.

The scenes with Colby and Asher were painfully boring. The whole episode was boring. So it's a good thing I broke yesterday's Boogie Chillen into two parts. The first was a list of people David might possibly bring back from the dead and the second is a list of people that would be fun to see again:

eMilY AnN SaGo shows up at Krystals, serving a tray of hors d'oeuvres.

Esther shows up at the Hubbard's door offering her services as a nanny.

Leslie Coulsen walks into Fusion and tries to sell Avon products.

Alfred Vanderpool forecloses on the Chandler mansion.

Verla Grubbs is shown in the background sweeping the floor at Krystal's.

Winifred is shown cackling, with a can of gasoline and matches, outside a burning Chandler mansion.

Val is shown at the mall autographing his new tell-all book about being Erica Kane's personal slav--er-assistant.

Arlene shows up in her cowgirl outfit, ready to party, but is quickly taken hostage by Chapstick Sophie.

Corvina visits Erica at Oakhaven for the sole purpose of gloating and, once again, calling her a self-serving shrew.

Axel Greene shows up and asks JaNut to marry him.

Mary Smythe shows up and tells Ryan that SHE is his real mother. Greenlee slugs her.

Officer Sean arrests Amanda again when he sees how she dresses just to go to the grocery store.

Ethel and Irma show up and ask Opal if she wants to start a new chain of Glamoramas.

Blanche Trashe sings at Confusion.

Alice Hart shows up and asks Kendall why she never calls and never writes.

Del Henry shows up and panhandles outside of Krystal's, with a sign that says he'll work for a kidney.

Livia moves back from San Francisco to be a judge in PV and subsequently sentences David Hayward to 493 years in prison for performing unsanctioned medical testing on human subjects.

Edna Ferguson is seen passing out flyers and coupons for her new dog-grooming business.

Charlie Brent shows up to be the spokesperson for Fusion's new line of Fierce Toothpaste.

Lysistrata Schwartz is shown ushering Annie out of a counseling session at Oakhaven.

Devon McFadden is seen sniveling in the background at one of JAR's AA meetings.

Maggie shows up in town wanting Bianca back. She and eBabe end up in a mud wrestling tussle at the PV Park while a drunken JAR watches and decides that eBabe being a lesbian might not be such a bad thing.

Taylor Roxbury-Canon is seen on TV hawking blue mouthwash.

Philip Brent shows up, only to be hit by a falling satellite the first time he opens his mouth to try to say anything to Tara, who came back to have a clandestine rendevous with him at the Yacht Club. Tara weeps copiously.

Vera Vanderbilt shows up at Jesse's door, having heard he was alive, swinging her Foxy's tail suggestively and and asking him if he's finally come to his senses and is ready to give her a ride on his Rocket 88.

Benny Sago shows up on his motorcycle asking if anyone has seen Emily Ann.

Robin "any more?" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 8/2/11

2011-08-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

If Jake has been asleep since last night, why is the laptop screen still showing what he was looking at before he fell asleep? No screensaver on THAT puppy.

Presumably David keeps hounding Ben to find Dixie. How is Ben supposed to find her if he has to spend all his time on the phone being lambasted by David for not finding her? And why doesn't David have a codename for Dixie (like DADD (Dumb As Dirt Dixie))?

David is going to hint to all sorts of people that all sorts of people are still alive. Who has died that could possibly be brought back?

Leo (Miller Falls, body never found)
Hannah (Miller Falls (body never found)
Zach (plane crash, body never found)
Jenny (jet ski accident)
Will (head smashed in with a crowbar)
Trevor (beheaded, frozen)
Stuart (shot)
Braden (Just Braden) (shot and caved-in)
Cindy (AIDS-related complications)
Noah (shot)
Julia (liver failure after explosion?)
Ethan Cambias (Mardi Gras explosion aftermath)
Babe (tornado-induced butt bleedout)
Frank Grant (Jesse's uncle, stroke)
Edmund (burned alive in the stable)
Michael Cambias (shot, rotted)
Zach Grayson (shot by Marian Colby)
Estelle LaTour Tuggle Sago (car accident)
Rebecca Fowler (Natalia's mom, cancer)
Gillian (shot in the head, heart transplanted into someone else)
Billy Clyde Tuggle (thrown off bridge in explosion, since buried)
Ray Gardner (exploded on the Martin front lawn)
Vanessa Bennett (Miller Falls, body never found)
Natalie (massive stroke)
Silver Kane (stabbed with scissors by Natalie, last seen bobbing to the surface in a pond on the Cortlandt estate)
Josh Madden (unaborted, shot by Zach, heart transplanted into Kendall)
Di Henry (shot)
Richie Novak (tire iron to the head via Annie)
Mary Kennecott (shot by burglars in 1974)
Erin Lavery (Satin Slayer victim)
Stan Ulatowski (jumped out of a plane, body never found)
Simone (Satin Slayer victim)
Christopher Stamp (shot)
Roger Smythe (shot)
Jeremy (encased in cement? shot? Killed on another show)
Sybil Thorne (died in childbirth)
Greg Madden (buried alive, suffocated by earthquake-induced cave-in)
Frankie (Bianca's girlfriend, shot)

(Yes I have read some possible spoilers, but I'm hoping there may be more surprises in store for us)

Robin "the mind boggles!" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 8/1/11

2011-08-04T01:16:00.000-07:00

AJ was at the park with eBabe. Tad found JAR in the park, gave him a lecture and then said he was going to go get AJ and take him home. The next thing we know, Tad goes back to Krystal's to meet up again with Cara, and he has AJ in tow. Does eBabe know that Tad even HAS AJ?

Erica was dragged out of Dixie's room (twice). Why would they then put her in the room right next to Dixie?

Why did Griff tell Kendall that David may possibly have Zach stashed away somewhere? You'd think he would know by now that Kendall is nothing if not impulsive and that both she and her mother's go-to solution when they are pissed off is VIOLENCE. Guns, knives, drugs, pillows--whatever it takes or even just whatever happens to be handy at the time. Kendall, in particular, has a long history of using the threat of lethal violence to try to force people to cooperate with her, whatever her current obsession happens to be. Oh sure, both she and Erica usually wield whatever their current weapon of choice is in a very feminine manner while wearing the latest fashions, but the bottom line is that they often follow through with a very unladylike result. You know that, sure as shit, Kendall is going to go after David and try to force him to tell her whatever he knows about Zach.

Robin "here we go again" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 7/29/11

2011-08-04T00:10:00.000-07:00

JaNut (after being told she is morbid for the "corpse pose" being her favorite yoga position): "What is so morbid about corpses?" Annie: "See, this is why I SO don't belong in here!" JaNut: "You killed your BROTHER!" Annie: "At least I didn't kill my HUSBAND!" Marian: "At least I didn't kill ANYBODY ... recently."

I am LOVING having all of them back AND interacting. And while they are sniping at each other, Erica is lying on the floor like a ... corpse.

Tad told JAR that if he had stuck around Krystal's when Tad was talking about him, he would have heard Tad say that JAR grew up to be every bit the man Dixie thought he would be. Apparently Dixie thought he would grow up to be a flaming asshole. In which case, JAR DOES know that he grew up to the every bit the man his mother thought he would be.

Opal told Tad that he managed to spring Dixie out of Oakhaven way back when. BZZZZT! Adam had Dixie dragged off to a private sanitarium, Laurel Hill. It was straightened out for me once and for all back in 2008 when I saw a video on Youtube. I mentioned it in the Boogie Chillen for 5/7/08 when I said:

"For years and years I thought that Dixie had been locked away at Oakhaven, but she wasn't. She was locked away at Laurel Hill. We FINALLY got that straightened out here relatively recently, I think due to a video from that time that was on Youtube. Now DIXIE says Adam locked her away at Oakhaven. Sigh. Here we go again ... I wish they'd pick an asylum and stick with it! I do know that Erica and Gloria Marsh have been at Oakhaven, as has JaNut (I think). I think the first we heard of Oakhaven was when Erica went there after losing Phil's baby (I think Susan Lucci was HAVING a baby in real life and taking maternity leave)."

Do you think Erica remembers which room she was in at Oakhaven back in the 1970s?

Why is the nurse taking everyone's word for ... well, EVERYTHING? Tad explains that his mother is not crazy, so she says okay, we need the room, anyway. Then she walks away, telling him to wait, just letting him roam the inner halls of a mental facility all on his own. The nurse tells the others that yoga time is over and just walks ahead of the inmates without a backward glance at them, despite the fact that they ALL have violent histories. Then Annie says Erica attacked her and the nurse takes her word for it (and JaNut's word that Erica DID touch Annie) to put Erica into isolation. I'm beginning to think the NURSE is one of the inmates.

Then Erica is able to simply burst into Dixie's room without having to do anything more strenuous than turn the doorknob. It's nice to see that Security is still paramount at Oakhaven.

Robin "Aidan would be able to spring ALL of them if he were there" Coutellier

BC - Tue-Thu, 7/26-28/11

2011-07-31T21:15:00.000-07:00

This is ridiculous! Cervical cancer doesn't develop in a matter of 2-3 weeks after exposure to HPV! If Amanda has cervical cancer as a complication of the HPV virus, then she's had the virus for a very long time and there's no way she got it from JAR unless she got it from one of their earlier go-arounds. Which means Jake was also regularly exposed to it prior to her "slip-up" with JAR.

Angie sends Maya in to change the baby so that she can talk to Jesse. After a brief discussion between Jesse and Angie, Maya returns to the room and says that the baby has been changed, they had a little play time and now the baby is asleep. A "little" playtime? How about a nanosecond? Unless the playtime consisted of the baby flinging her own poop around the room while she was being changed, there definitely wasn't any time for play. There wasn't even any time for proper diaper-changing.

How did Dixie's clothes get changed? She was wearing all gray; when she woke up, she was wearing all brown.

Why would Jack need TAD'S help to find a way to legally get into Oakhaven to see Erica? JACK is the lawyer!

I enjoyed all the repartee and in-jokes about show/character history that were being flung right and left at the Oakhaven

David has very good color for someone who just had, as Griff put it "invasive abdominal surgery".

Robin "will Dixie see Janet & remember she killed Will?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 7/25/11

2011-07-28T22:12:00.000-07:00

When Ryan told Kendall he wanted to talk to her about something and she asked what, did any of you think he was going to say "Amway!"?

Erica stabs David using a knife that she grabbed off the bar at ConFusion. Really? A.G.A.I.N? Sigh. She really DOES need therapy to work out that deep-seated, repetitive need to stab people with the nearest sharp instrument. And why was there a knife on the bar? Haven't the workers of PV learned yet that it is NEVER a good idea to put knives within easy reach of patrons, especially patrons who may have been drinking? Erica hasn't been drinking, but then, she doesn't NEED to be drinking to lower her inhibitions when it comes to doing something over-the-top. So much for not being locked up.

Robin "Again" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 7/22/11

2011-07-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, there's no doubt whatsoever that David is in charge of whatever the hell it is he's in charge of that involves Ben who is beholden to (and ostensibly in love with) Jane, to whom David is ostensibly engaged. It's also crystal clear now that Dixie and Erica were both being guarded/tended to by Ben under David's direction. I'm intrigued. What the HELL is David doing, what HAS he been doing, and what is he GOING to do? It's quite convoluted.

JAR trips over the chair AJ is sitting in (where's a 4th floor balcony when you need one?) and AJ barely glances in his direction, not even flinching. He does look upset in a frozen kind of way, though. I had to laugh when Bianca later made a reference to JAR going out a window. I really like how they are throwing us some show-history bones during these last days (just don't throw us FAKE bones).

Boy, that Ben is a real ROCK, isn't he? No really. I've seen rocks with more personality and animation.

When David, still reeling from the punch Jack delivered to his face, grabbed Erica and said she was his beautiful fiance, then kissed her, how many of you immediately FF'd in your own brain to Erica saying "F**K OFF, DAVID!"

When Erica subsequently bit David on the mouth and he yanked away, saying "WTH, you just BIT me!" I had my own little flashback to this morning when I said pretty much the same thing when one of our cats did the same thing to me as I was petting him (he bit me; I did not bite him). He's an instinctual biter down to his itty-bitty little kitty core.

Oh puh-leeze! Did you see Liza's fake tear-wiping? She pressed a square of whatever up to the corner of her eye and just held it there for effect. Press and HOLD ..2..3..4... Shades of Casey Anthony in front of the jury!

Jesse scoffs at Erica's story of being kidnapped by a crazed fan who became her doppelganger. This from the man who faked his own death, hid away for 20 years and who, mere months ago, accepted someone else's baby to switch with his own dead one since Angie had passed out and couldn't see anyway. Yet he is the soul of skepticism over Erica's story. Okay, Erica's story IS pretty far-fetched (REALLY far-fetched), but not by Pine Valley standards. It's less far-fetched than her unaborted fetus showing up in town 30 years later; the unaborted fetus that was excised, transplanted and subsequently raised by a doctor who happened to be one of Erica's biggest fans, for that matter.

Robin "Erica has more f**ked up fans than Michael Jackson" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 7/21/11

2011-07-21T23:56:00.000-07:00

Oh no they DI-INT! Cara said serving at Krystal's could be like CHEW and checkup. More like BARF and checkup! Isn't it MORE than enough that The Chew is going to replace our beloved AMC? Do they have to remind us of that fact as a product placement of sorts WITHIN THE SHOW??? Assholes! Aisling, I saw the subject header of your post before seeing the show, but I hadn't read the post itself. As soon as I heard Cara say that, I guessed that you had the same thought and that was what the post was about. I'm thinking thousands of people, if not millions, had the same thought, too! What a slap in the face to loyal fans!

Ha! I was RIGHT about Dixie pounding on the walls where Erica is being held prisoner! COULD this have been David's plan all along? He didn't seem to know Jane, but he's such a master manipulator I wouldn't be surprised if he planted the idea in her brain in the first place, just so he could seduce her and gain power from her. Because he's THAT diabolical, THAT twisted, and THAT good.

How does Kendall carry a purse that big? Given her size and length, I'm surprised she didn't tip over.

Oh, so now David is responsible for getting Cara the help she needed when she had leukeima when she was 8. The pies this man has had his fingers in know no bounds. I mean, REALLY? How far is this going to go? Did he have anything to do with the Salk Vaccine, too? Is he going to cure AIDS before September 23?

Are we really supposed to believe that David and Greenlee are talking for an extended period of time and don't notice someone (Jane, albeit in scrubs and a mask) is standing 3-4 feet away, frozen in place, not doing anything at all, and quite obviously eavesdropping? Seriously?

Will seeing JAR acting like such an asshole (even more than usual) while drunk be enough to make Asher see the error of his ways and try to stay on the straight and narrow?

Dixie is lurching around the park. Why would David and/or Jane be keeping human guinea pigs in or near the park? Shades of Dr. Madden being buried under a park bench (not to mention little Ellie somewhere nearby). My guess is that since they showed JAR with car keys and a flash of scotch, he's going to hit or nearly hit his mother as she lurches into the roadway.

Robin "they need to put a lifetime AND deathtime Lojack on Dixie" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 7/20/11

2011-07-21T23:51:00.000-07:00

Tad said Dixie's father, Seabone Hunckle, just passed away. I could have Ihe died a long time ago.

Why would Seabone Hunckle have Dixie's childhood journal? He didn't live with Dixie, her mother and Will. He left them and started another family (hence Dell, (not to mention Di with yet another woman) -- Seabone got around. Dixie didn't spend her childhood with Seabone, so they are rewriting history unless Dixie entrusted her diary to him as an adult, which seems highly unlikely.

Isn't it a little late in the lifetime of the show for them to develop someone just BECOMING dependent upon alcohol and/or drugs (I'm talking about Asher). And what the hell IS Asher's real name, anyway? Are we ever going to find THAT out? Asher Pike sounds like a fish with a nasty cigarette habit.

Haven't we see Maria wear that dress before? Maybe she borrowed one of Krystal's dresses, given their shared affinity for really big implants. Maybe it's the only thing that would fit her.

Does anyone else cringe whenever JAR refers to eBabe as a lesbian? I don't mean that being a lesbian is cringeworthy, just that I'm not even remotely convinced yet that eBabe IS a lesbian. She seems to have fallen in love with Bianca, but that doesn't make her a lesbian. It's not like she's even had sex with her yet. She's barely kissed her, and those kisses were mega-awkward. I'm not a lesbian, but I bet I could put WAAAY more enthusiasm and realism into a woman-to-woman kiss than eBabe did. I mean, it's only kissing so far; it's another pair of lips. If you're going to do it, DO it. There just doesn't seem to be any underlying drive behind it, despite eBabe suddenly saying that she's been fighting it all along. No. She hasn't because there was nothing there to fight as far as libido goes. Nothing. Zilch. We've all put way more feeling into simply discussing the matter than eBabe has put into their entire relationship pre- and post-revelation.

Frankie called Caleb to discuss Asher's probable need for addiction counseling, despite Asher's resistance to any help. WTF? Unless Asher signed something saying it was okay for Frankie to talk to Caleb about his Asher's medical issues (and he may very well HAVE, considering Caleb has been there for him), Frankie has no right to call Caleb and tell him that Asher appears to be addicted to pain pills.

How many times now has Tad "made peace with Dixie's death"? She's like a life/death/life yo-yo or whack-a-mole.

Is David Canary coming back? I know there were rumors that he was ill and that's why he left the show. I ask because the photo they showed of him looks like it could be more recent. He looks older and softer in it than he did before.

So JAR's going to go out driving while drunk. Who's he going to hit? Maybe Dixie. He already accidentally shot her the LAST time she returned from the dead (although, to be fair, she was only PRETENDING to be dead that time). It would be a PV/Cooney tradition for him to now hit her with his car. Then again, he could hit Amanda. Again. Oooh, what if he hits AJ?

Robin "please, Please, PLEASE hit Ryan!" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 7/19/11

2011-07-21T23:48:00.000-07:00

Maya keeps mentioning how Frankie's wife was able to get over losing her baby more quickly by taking care of another baby. Did Frankie ever mention that she found the other baby (Trevor) in an alley and decided to keep it without ever telling anyone in authority about it and acted like it was no big deal and he was a present to her from whatever higher powers that be? IOW, Randi lost touch with reality for a while there.

Every time Dixie comes back from the dead JAR is on a booze bender or an asshole bender (although it's hard to tell the latter from any other day in his life) or both.

Wait a second. Are they trying to hint that David rescued Zach from his plane crash and has HIM stashed away somewhere, too?

Brot said Maya was Hispanic. I didn't know that. I didn't really think about her ethnicity at all other than her not appearing to be black.

Presumably Dixie has been lying down for, what, 2-3 years now, maybe more? She sure has a lot of strength for someone who hasn't had any mobility for quite some time.

Robin "DAMN she has good genes" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 7/18/11

2011-07-20T19:15:00.000-07:00

Maybe the pounding on the walls is from Dixie and David DOES have Erica stashed away wherever he does his Project Orpheus stuff.

BZZZZT! In the Erica montage they showed Erica holding Bianca after she was born, with Travis beaming on and Erica saying (or thinking) the name "Bianca Christine Montgomery"! WRONG! Erica and Travis couldn't DECIDE on a name for about a month or more. She and Travis were dining at Matt Connelly's new Oasis cafe. Erica was talking about the play The Taming Of The Shrew and Erica was explaining the role of Bianca (the sweet, lovable younger sister of Kate, the shrew) to Travis, and they realized that THAT was the perfect name for the baby. Christine was the name of Travis' presumed-dead (of course she wasn't, but that was a story for another day) baby sister. In any case, Bianca did not officially have a name until she was about a month old.

Robin "I agree with Seth Bookey - if you're going to do flashbacks, at least make them ACCURATE, not faked!" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 7/15/11

2011-07-18T23:22:00.000-07:00

Whoa, did you get a look at those shiny high heels Maya wears to clean the house? Shades of June Cleaver!

Wow, little Lucy stopped crying quite abruptly from the time Jesse went to the door and the time he opened it. I know it's very hard for actors to work with unpredictable babies, but it was still kind of funny how quickly it happened :-)

While I don't buy JAR being broken-hearted and driven to drink by losing eBabe, I suppose I DO buy him being at least driven to drink by losing her to a WOMAN. As he said, he didn't see THAT coming!

Is it just me or has this been a REALLY long day in Pine Valley? It started when Kathy woke up Tad and eBabe woke up JAR. Amanda, dressed for clubbing and freshly coiffed, went to Fusion to drink (apparently the bar is wide open for the breakfast crowd), had a heart-to-heart with Opal, then went to the park. Jake found her at the park and she told him she had an STD and, BTW, she contracted it only 3 weeks ago. He forgave her and she ran off again, this time to have a drink at the bar at Krystal's where she runs into JAR and tells him that she told Jake about the sex and the STD. It's still bright and sunny outside.

Jake and Tad had a heart-to-heart about Amanda cheating on him, then Jake went home to tell Amanda he still wants to make their marriage work. In the meantime, Kendall and Griff have a date for dinner(?), even though it's bright and sunny out. Griff bails on her when she pries. They meet later in the park and then at her house, I think, or maybe the hospital, and they go to the park again. It's still bright and sunny outside.

After needling (so to speak) several people at work, David twirls his invisible mustache and goes to his hotel room to get ready for an important meeting with hospital board members, but Jane shows up at his door, with her eyes practically rolling up into the back of her head due to her NON-Libidozone-inspired uncontrollable lust for him. After trying to get rid of her, David relents and gives her a right good shagging. Ryan and Greenlee, in the meantime, compare notes and information about Project Orpheus and wonder about Erica's involvement with David. Greenlee goes to the Yacht Club and pulls the fire alarm so that David and "Erica" will run out of the room in a state of not quite dressed. It's still bright and sunny outside.

EBabe gets mad at JAR for not really thinking of all those great special things to do for her and give to her because it was really all Bianca's ideas. Scott comforts her. JAR fusses and fumes about Scott taking eBabe away from him. He almost drinks some scotch, but AJ inspires him with his adorableness, so JAR pours the scotch into a poor, innocent plant next to the front door (no one will ever notice that the front door area REEKS of alcohol). It's still bright and sunny outside.

JAR goes to the hospital to possibly go to an AA meeting. While there, he and Tad have a heart-to-heart, then JAR takes off, presumably to a meeting. EBabe meets Bianca either on the Chandler grounds or the park (it's unlcear) and tells her that she loves her, too; she kisses Bianca. Bianca says it won't work because eBabe is straight, not gay. It's still bright and sunny outside.

Heartbroken at Bianca's rejection, eBabe goes back to the mansion, gets consoled by Scott some more (who has figured out that Bianca told eBabe that she had a thing for her), and then tells JAR (who has returned home after speaking with Amanda at Krystal's) that she's in love with Bianca, who walks in on them, despite knowing darned well that they were going to have a very private conversation (so much for being a saint). It's still bright and sunny outside.

In the meantime, Opal has a heart-to-heart with Jack, feeding him all sorts of goodies from the over-laden coffee table in the Martin living room (because the builders forgot to make a kitchen or dining room when they built the house), Kendall calls "Erica" over to her house for an emergency having to do with the Miranda Center, and when Jane shows up, it turns out to be an intervention. David and Angie meet and agree that his treatment is working. It's still bright and sunny outside.

JAR pours himself yet another glass of scotch (he has an endless supply of scotch bottles at the house). This time he actually drinks it. The plant outside the front door is quite relieved, since it's still dizzy and slightly pukey from the first bottle he opened. Tad comes over and they have yet another heart-to-heart. Maya helps hide the scotch at JAR's behest, and then her abusive boyfriend comes in (he's working on rebuilding the gatehouse with Scott) and menaces her. JAR drinks some more and has a meltdown in front of Tad, telling him that his wife is a lesbian (no she's not). It's still bright and sunny outside.

Maya abandons her post, goes to the hospital, and tells Frankie she's ready for that babysitting job NOW. She goes over to the Hubbard's place where Jesse is having trouble coping with the fussy baby since the previous babysitter had abruptly quit. Jesse had previously had a heart-to-heart with Brot over Lucy's humble beginnings and how she ended up being his daughter. Angie and Frankie show up and Lucy settles right down in Maya's arms ('cause Maya is actually her birth mother, of course, unbeknownst to any of them). It's still bright and sunny outside.

Jane is dismissive of everyone at the intervention. Then David shows up and she tells them all that she loves him and they've been having sex. Jack, Opal and Greenlee storm out. Kendall and Bianca are hurt and horrified. Then David asks "Erica" to marry him. Jane has changed her clothes, but I don't think anyone else has. I'm pretty sure it's still bright and sunny outside.

Meanwhile, the real Erica is pouring her heart out in self-reflection, telling Ben about being raped at 14 and giving birth to Kendall. She remembers how badly she treated Mona and deeply regrets it, realizing how much her mother truly loved her and only wanted what was best for her (as opposed to THE BEST). She realizes that the revolving door of men in her life was really about her quest to find a kind and protective father figure, not one who allows her to be raped by a child-molester. And then things started bumping against the walls outside of Erica's dungeon and Ben went to investigate, all the while assuring her that it was nothing. Presumably it's still bright and sunny outside.

Robin "and the day's not over yet" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 7/14/11

2011-07-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

Kendall tells Griff that he can tell her ANYTHING; he doesn't have to hide anything from her. Oh yeah? After SAVING YOUR LIFE (multiple times), not to mention keeping you from killing David, he told you he was stealing drugs from the hospital to give to poor countries and you turned him over to the police in a nanosecond the moment you thought you would benefit from it (by getting info about Zach's death). I wouldn't tell her any secrets, either. She's the most compulsive blabbermouth in PV!

Okay, even though I don't buy eBabe deciding/realizing she's in love with Bianca, it WAS gratifying to see JAR thrown for a loop by it. How can he POSSIBLY compete with THAT? He only knows how to compete with other men. Plus he's an ASSHOLE (have I ever mentioned that I think JAR is an asshole? I believe I have, but I digress), and Bianca is somewhat of a saint. Watching JAR squirm over the situation was downright DELICIOUS! I do, however, hear the vague rustlings of yet another custody battle looming. OTOH, do they REALLY want to leave us with yet another trite custody battle over a child who has already been fought over on numerous occasions, not to mention been kidnapped many times over?

Speaking of kidnappings, Lucy hasn't been kidnapped yet and she's already several months old; they'd better get cracking on THAT one. I'm guessing Maya's boyfriend will figure into it.

Robin "being left in the backseat of a police car & subsequently being raised by someone else doesn't count as kidnapping" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 7/13/11

2011-07-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

AMC has gone down this maybe-I'm-gay-and-maybe-I'm-not-gay road before. Way back in the 1970s Devon McFadden was so shattered by the betrayal of the men in her life (and the mess she made of her own life in the process) that she turned to her good friend, Lynn, played by Donna Pescow. Lynn was a lesbian and Devon decided she should probably be one, too, since she liked Lynn so much and men were all pigs. She tried to kiss Lynn. Lynn let her know that it didn't work like that. You don't just "decide" to become gay because it makes more sense to you when things go wrong in a hetero relationship. I hope that in the show's finale Bianca meets eyes with someone wonderful and they smile brilliantly at each other, knowing in their hearts that they've just met "the one". Is that so much to ask? Maybe Lena will come back to whisk her away.

I don't buy that JAR is brokenhearted over eBabe and driven to drink by said heartbreak and disappointment; frustrated, yeah, but he NEVER gives in that easily, so why start drinking over it now? He doesn't even know yet that eBabe has fallen in love with Bianca, he just thinks Scott is getting in the way.

Wow, Tad really HAS turned into Joe when it comes to the fatherly advice role.

Robin "he even invokes Joe's holy name in homage" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 7/12/11

2011-07-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

Why would a seascape remind little Bianca of a Pine Valley? Miller's Pond, maybe, but a SEASCAPE? Having ocean scenes, although annoying, is still amusing, but to have Stuart give a seascape painting to little Bianca to remind her of her home in Pine Valley while she's living in Washington is just plain insulting to the viewers.

It's nice to see Amanda take time out of her angst over an STD and the impending doom of her marriage to get a nice haircut in the middle of the night.

If Amanda is trying to avoid sex with Jake or anyone else, why is she dressed in a braless, low-cut, spray-on top with matching spray-on pants? She looks like she's about to go out clubbing. And what was with that scene with the guy at the bar. I couldn't tell if she was deliberately trying to put him off or reel him in. Are we supposed to see it as reverting to old habits during stressful times, but then thinking twice about it? Did she just not want to be bothered? It didn't really come off either way. She DID show him her wedding beringed finger. He didn't seem to care, and then she knocked a vase or something, consequently spilling water all over him, thus driving him away. It was hard to tell if she was just bumbling or being a bitch or being a cock-tease. I don't get it. It was enough to reel OPAL over to her, though, which may have been the whole point.

Didn't JAR get Hepatitis C during that whole Richie-steals-JAR's-bone-marrow storyline? Amanda's right; he SHOULD be carrying condoms at all times and USING them!

Hey JAR, here's an idea to pass the time: GO TO WORK!

They actually WENT there? Marissa is NOT gay, so why is she kissing Bianca (and doing a really bad job of it, at that)?

Robin "JAR is NOT going to take this very well" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 7/11/11

2011-07-13T01:19:00.000-07:00

Amanda probably got the HPV from Jake. I thought it was particularly hypocritical of Amanda to tell JAR that from now one he should carry a condom and USE it! Pot. Kettle.

Oh come ON, Griff; just give it up and CRY already!

How many times are they going to zoom in on Griff's Project Orpheus badge? We G.E.T. it! Griff has a PO badge. Ryan didn't see it, so .... what?

Robin "each time they do that I become less interested in it" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 7/8/11

2011-07-09T23:29:00.000-07:00

After David told Jane all that stuff about what a close connection they have and ended by saying he thinks he's falling in love with her, how many of you flashed to the scene in the tunnel in the Blues Brothers where John Belushi's character sweet-talks Carrie Fisher's character? As soon as David knew he had gotten to Jane, I expected him to drop her on the floor like a sack of potatoes. I hope he realizes that Jane IS fully capable of whipping out a bazooka and using it.

Project Orpheus? That sounds a little like Proteus. I do SO hope Vanessa comes back!

LOL! How many of you immediately did what Ryan did when you heard "Orpheus"? I know I immediately went to Wikipedia for a quick synopsis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orpheus). Here's a couple of paragraphs:

"Greeks of the Classical age venerated Orpheus as the greatest of all poets and musicians: it was said that while Hermes had invented the lyre, Orpheus perfected it. Poets such as Simonides of Ceos said that Orpheus' music and singing could charm the birds, fish and wild beasts, coax the trees and rocks into dance, and divert the course of rivers. He was one of the handful of Greek heroes to visit the Underworld and return; his music and song even had power over Hades.

Some sources credit Orpheus with further gifts to mankind: medicine, which is more usually under the aegis of Aesculapius; writing, which is usually credited to Cadmus and agriculture, where Orpheus assumes the Eleusinian role of Triptolemus, giver of Demeter's knowledge to mankind. Orpheus was an augur and seer; practiced magical arts, especially astrology, founded cults to Apollo and Dionysus and prescribed the mystery rites preserved in Orphic texts. In addition, Pindar and Apollonius of Rhodes place Orpheus as the harpist and companion of Jason and the Argonauts. Orpheus had a brother named Linus who went to Thebes and became a Theban."

I'm particularly interested in the part about the brother named Linus who went to Thebes and became a Theban. Is Thebes anything like Las Vegas?

Now Amanda has an std (HPV). It's about TIME someone in PV got one. I expected Tad The Cad to get all kinds of STDs way back in the day.

Jane begs Jack to make love to her. She's had a taste of David and now she wants more sex, but David artfully kicked her out. Jack had BETTER be able to tell that that is not Erica! One night of sex may pop a 63-yr-old cherry, but it hardly makes up for a lifetime of virginity when it comes to experience and, um, elasticity.

Robin "Erica Kane: Sex Addict" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 7/7/11

2011-07-09T23:12:00.000-07:00

Hm, that's a new exterior shot of the pool area at the Chandler estate. It looks somewhat LAish, though, to the point that my first thought was Beverly Hills 90210.

Amanda is supposed to be the head of PR for Chandler. Doesn't she have a staff to oversee? The only staffs she oversees are either Jake's or JAR's. BRRRUMPT-TING!

Robin "still stunned over the Casey Anthony verdict; the bitch WALKS!" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 7/5/11

2011-07-09T23:09:00.000-07:00

Re Monday's show (4th of July), how many of you started watching it and thought that they actually WERE going to make it all (or at least some of it) a dream when they saw Zach kissing Kendall awake? What a letdown to realize it was merely a rerun.

How much fun did Susan Lucci have telling herself as a doppelganger that her feet were too big and her fingers were too fat?

Well THAT was an undignified angle for the camera to be closing in on. I'm referring to Jane unconscious on the floor, her legs somewhat spread and bent while wearing a pair of white pants as the camera panned in closer and closer, starting near her feet and somewhat off to the right. Susan Lucci looks good from any angle, but that was ... icky!

Robin "can a crotch-cam be far behind (so to speak)?" Coutellier

Madison's New Look, 7/1/11

2011-07-04T22:16:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in the Boogie Chillen for Friday that the whites of Madison's eyes looked black at the beginning of the episode, but she must have bleached them by the end of it. Here's a comparison shot from when she walked into the Fusion office and when she was sitting at the ConFusion bar downstairs talking to David. Obviously, along with all the other deficiencies of the Fusion office, they have bad lighting, and she WAS looking hard to the side at ConFusion, which would show more white. I know it was part of the "dark" effect, but really, all I could think about was how irritated her eyes must have been to look so murky.

I just had a flash of memory from waaay back. I remember reading an interview once with John Ashton, who played Gomez Addams on 1960s The Addams Family TV show. He said that he wore special contacts/eyeball covers to make his eyes look bugged out on the show. I think that was vaguely in my mind when I saw how dark the whites of Madison's eyes were.

BC - Fri, 7/1/11

2011-07-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

The bottoms of Erica's shoes are kind of dirty for just walking around her carpeted room & bathroom. Did Jane get them from Erica's closet or are they Jane's castoffs? Jane's already wearing last season's shoes while pretending to be Erica, so I can only imagine Erica's humiliation at wearing Jane's castoffs, even though Ben is the only one who sees her.

That crystal chandelier above/near Erica's bed looks like it could be useful for smashing into something, if only for the satisfaction of breaking it.

What did Madison do, put on black contacts that cover all of the whites of her eyes? She definitely looks like someone who would shoot Greenlee. I hope that suit of armor Greenlee has is bulletproof. My guess is that it WILL come into play in that respect and that Madison will somehow get hold of Ryan's gun that they so carefully tried to fool us with on his wedding day.

That medieval photo session with Ryan and Greenlee was the most animated I've seen them in a long time - maybe YEARS. I actually did NOT FF through it and kind of liked it, probably because it looked like they were genuinely having fun. They're probably relieved they can move on to something else soon, so they can relax - it's not like they are going to get fired at this point for not being overly soapy.

I think I'm jaded by short-timer's attitude at this point. There was a commercial on Soapnet about going there to keep tabs on who's coming and who's going. WTF? They're ALL going!

So Madison's new campaign is Angry, Harsh, Spiteful, Hateful, Man-Hating Bitch? Ooookaaay. Well, at least she bleached the black out of the whites of her eyes. That had to sting.

Every time I see Madison now I think of the evil uber-bitch, Katinka, in Zoolander. How long will it be before she accuses someone of wearing K-Mart clothes?

Why did Jane pass out? The only thing she hit on the way down was her hand, and that was on a lightweight piece of plastic.

Robin "that was HILARIOUS! " Coutellier

BC - Tue-Thu, 6/28-30/11

2011-07-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

For those following the Casey Anthony trial, I just realized that Jose Baez sounds a LOT like Jake! It makes me dislike BOTH of them even more than before.

When Griff said he was leaving PV, my response was "Isn't everyone?"

Griff's taking off with virtually NO notice? Well, THAT came out of nowhere. We know he's wanted to leave for a long time, but when he DOES, you'd think he'd give more than a few minutes noticed.

Does it seem to anyone else like they are already wrapping things up? I'm seeing:

Griff saying goodbye to everyone.

Cara and Tad going on a real date.

Ryan and Greenlee getting close again. In fact, Tad officiates yet another wedding for them. I'm so ... underwhelmed.

JAR and Marissa getting back together.

Lots of flashbacks are occurring.

Madison suddenly has a new attitude and is striving for a new look.

Why does everyone think Cara's going to be just fine? Don't Mexican druglords still have a bounty on her? What, like no one from Mexico ever crossed the border? Griff "knows" she's going to be okay. She and Tad will probably decide they have a real marriage, Dixie will come back, and Cara will be assassinated by a hitman (or hitwoman).

It's all a little too pat for me. In fact, it's downright creepy! Loose ends are being tied up right an left. Are actors being dropped or jumping ship or both? Is the show even going to be BACK after the 4th of July?

LOD:
Okay I DID laugh when Kendall burst into Ryan's living room and Tad announced: "Stripper's here."

I'm sorry -- I can never see Greenlee's belly without remembering that poem she had written on it for Aidan.

Why is Madison doing all that makeup in the office? Don't they have a lab or ladies room or something like that in the building?

Why doesn't anyone tell Angie how dull and unflattering that blouse is?

Amanda said she and JAR didn't use protection (told ya) and now she might be pregnant. Most women in PV start getting morning sickness and/or start fainting within a day or two of conception.

Jane is a VIRGIN? I'm pretty sure Jack would have noticed THAT had she given him an opportunity to deflower her.

Robin "hey Mary, Mookie got a shoutout!" Coutellier

BC - Thu-Fri, 6/23-24/11

2011-06-25T17:10:00.000-07:00

Frankie highly recommends Maya as a babysitter for his little sister. Based on WHAT? He doesn't know anything about her other than that she seems nice, is a hard worker and recently gave away a baby. Neither he, Angie nor Maya realize that Lucy is Maya's biological child.

Why didn't Griff walk a few extra steps and put Madison on a bed instead of a leather sofa?

Griff carried Madison back to Kendall's place. Presumably they got in a vehicle at some point. Now Madison is leaving in Kendall's borrowed clothes; she just walks away. How is she planning to get to work (which is where she says she's going)?

Robin "is the show going to go out with a bang?" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 6/22/11

2011-06-25T16:24:00.000-07:00

I think it's ironic that Greenlee and others are wearing jewelry they (and we) would have sneered at on Opal not long ago. Fashion is so fickle.

If the important presentation is about to happen so soon, why was Randi just strolling in the park (all the better to happen upon Madison snoozing on a bench)?

If the presentation is so important, Madison's idea or not, why would they change plans at the last second to have Madison do it just to make her feel better? It's not like she's prepared for it.

Shouldn't the new Fusion Mommy line be touted as being healthy and non-toxic without pointing out that their OTHER products ARE probably toxic, especially given the tainting incident that almost bankrupted them? Just sayin'.

When Jake finds out Amanda and JAR had sex, will he call her a slut/whore again?

Don't doctors have to be on-call to be paged? Jake gets paged in practically every scene. Does that mean he is perpetually on-call?

Robin "who was watching Trevor when Jake & Amanda were at JAR's and Opal was at Tad's?" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 6/21/11

2011-06-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

David on camera: "The pain that I have suffered in my life has given me a tremendous amount of empathy." OH, BARF!

LOD:
Amanda to Jake: "If JAR wants me to work, I can't exactly just blow him off." That's EXACTLY what she did: blow him

Jake tells Amanda that their relationship is his priority and NOTHING is more important. He has to go to the hospital to find out more about David, but they'll talk about EVERYTHING and get back on track when he gets back. Amanda thought bubble: "Yeah, whatever--LEAVE! I need to douche."

Caleb is looking ... refreshed. He's probably making plans for post-September.

Erica has had two live births, been stabbed and shot in the abdomen. I know Dr. Fascionella was able to fix the scar with the iron rod that went through Erica's cheek after her Phantom of the Opera bit, but how is Jane going to be able to duplicate ALL of those things. Once Jack gets her in bed, he IS going to notice something is different.

Amanda tells Jake that she already KNOWS he slept with Cara. Jake: "No, I DIDN'T!"

Robin "oopsie" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 6/20/11

2011-06-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

TIDBIT:
In a hospital scene on Hot In Cleveland, they paged Dr. Bender, whom we often hear being paged at PVH Susan Lucci has played herself on the show several times, and she got another shoutout on the 6/22 show.

Does Greenlee have too much Fusion Gloppity-Goo in her hair or does she need a shampoo real bad? PLEASE tell me that's not the new fashion!

Why would anyone care if a celebrity recommended that a notorious doctor who has committed numerous crimes and lost his license more than once be reinstated? As for the hospital, how can the liability the hospital takes on POSSIBLY be worth less than a celebrity's opinion? Even more than that, how can an INSURANCE COMPANY, whose only stake it in it is profit, allow it? For that matter, can just ANYBODY buy a hospital simply because they have the money? Wouldn't that have to have some sort of official approval? Erica is a convicted felon (more than once). Would she be ALLOWED to own a hospital? She's an addict and a baby-stealing, embezzling, constantly-on-trial celebrity.

At some point, there will be two Erica's in a room and her loved ones will have to decide which is which. So what can Erica ask them to ask her that only SHE would know? Maybe Jack will have to reveal that VERY special thing he likes her to do in the bedroom (you know, diaper him, burp him and sing him a lullaby), or possibly that doggie collar thing, given that he's such a lapdog.

I loved it that when David walked in and started to taunt Jake, Jake said: "Hello, ASS!" All things considered that must be soapspeak for "Hello, F**KFACE!"

Annnnnd here it comes ... Amanda and Jake start making out in the hotel room and then they have sex. Did anyone NOT see that coming from a light-year away? It's not quite grief sex, but certainly consolation sex (as JAR so eloquently described it). I hope they gave each other STDs.

Is Amanda still not using birth control? I didn't think so. Does she not have the slightest memory of what happened the LAST time she got pregnant? I didn't think so. And the last time she was pregnant JAR was one of the baby daddy candidates! And how do they plan to resolve this, given that the show is ending in September? Are they going to FF 20 years so we know how things turned out for everyone, or will they just leave it dangling?

Robin "Erica would NEVER use notecards to remember her speech" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 6/17/11

2011-06-19T19:00:00.001-07:00

Way to go JAR - yell at eBabe for not immediately falling into bed with you and accuse her of wanting to be with Scott instead. Newsflash: MOST women would want to be with Scott, penniless as he is, than with an ASSHOLE like YOU.

Robin "if they put them together when AMC ends, I'll BARF" Coutellier

BC - Wed-Thu, 6/15-16/11

2011-06-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

[NOTE, my previously BC headed as Wednesday, 6/15/11, was actually for Tuesday, 6/14/11]

LOD:
Opal: "I mean, I used to have trouble understanding the mechanics behind Dippity-Do!" As I was a child in the 1960s, it brought back memories (although even as a child I pretty much understood the mechanics of it - it was like jello for hair).

Okay, Tad and the blue hair? That's just plain stupid on SO many levels. I can see if they went blond, shoe-polish black, carrot orange, or even if it all burnt off in patches - all of that would have had a comic factor. Halloween blue, OTOH, falls completely flat for me. There is no WAY Tad would have left the house with blue hair. Either a) he would have shaved it off first, b) he would have Opal apply another color or otherwise try to alter it from Halloween blue, or c) he would have had her get him a wig/toupee. Going to the Yacht Club with blue hair to meet Cara is just plain stupid and NOT funny.

Jesus, does Amanda go to PVH EVERY SINGLE DAY to make out with her husband? Grow UP, Amanda!

Robin "I really don't want to see my doctor slobbering & pawing over someone while I'm waiting for him to help me make a major medical decision" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 6/14/11

2011-06-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

Why haven't Opal's psychic sensors gone off with Erica?

It's ridiculous that Erica's own daughters and her long-time lover/husband/lover cannot tell that the person they are with is NOT Erica? Kidnapping and traumatization doesn't explain it. When you are with someone THAT long, you know how they BREATHE, you know EVERY nuance, you can tell who they are by the way they walk, stand, sit, talk and eat. No amount of studying how a person does things can prepare a person to pass for someone else with the people that know the person they are impersonating better than anyone. I know, I know, IOAS.

Why would a baptism start when the godfather hadn't arrived yet? It's not like it's a bus that needs to be on schedule. The pastor might need to be on schedule, but if the godfather is not there, he's not there and a resched is in order.

Wow, Madison sure got her figure back FAST!

Opal is going to color Tad's hair in the LIVING ROOM? Totally RIDIC!

Robin "Oh Puh-leeze!" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 6/10/11

2011-06-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

Why is Liza always wrapped up so tight in her clothes? She always looks like if a thread pulled loose her clothes would explode off of her like a broken rubberband. To me, it doesn't look sexy so much as it looks exceptionally binding, like a Victorian corset. It's ironic that the previous (and original) incarnation of Liza was always extremely conservative in her dress to the point where she often looked dowdy and sexless in loose, gray or black suits. Even her wedding dress was a loose kimono that looked like a wide-necked bathrobe.

Amazing! The Free Clinic actually had a PATIENT!

Robin "yup, an intervention for Erica/Jane is coming; I can SMELL it" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 6/9/11

2011-06-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

I just had a thought that might tie some people together. The black guy (let's call him NoName for now) guarding and feeding Erica might be the father of Maya's baby, although he looks a little old for it. Maya, who lives with her drunken, uncaring aunt, might be the little girl in Jane's precious photo. Jane seems to have something on NoName; he certainly has some kind of allegiance to her, coerced or not. Maybe he and she both feel responsible for Maya's disappearance/alienation, however that came about. Colby thinks of Erica as her idol (making Erica into Erica Idol :-) . Colby is getting friendlier with Maya. Asher just came home after being hurt in the explosion that Jane arranged. Caleb was with him. Colby gave Asher the keys to one of her cars.

Will all of these players somehow join together in a series of coincidences leading to the discovery of Erica in the kidnapper's lair and of Jane's discovery of Maya, and NoName's discovery that Maya had been pregnant with their child, and that Brot rescued the baby she abandoned who is probably somewhere in Pine Valley?

Robin "the mind boggles" Coutellier

BC - Tue-Fri, 5/31-6/3

2011-06-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

[I thought I had posted this, but apparently it was still in draft form. Oops! Sorry about that. I'm so caught up in the Casey Anthony murder trial that I didn't notice it until now!]

Ricky joins the ranks of all the ladies in PV. Despite everything that happened the night before, not a single hair on his head is out of place.

Amanda whines that Jake never did anything really bad like SHE did. For instance, she called Immigration on Cara and she tried to get pregnant without telling him. She left out a couple of other oopsies, like being paid to get JAR, a known alcoholic on the wagon, to take a drink, and poisoning the Chandler's Thanksgiving pumpkin soup (or was that JaNut?) and pretending to be hit by JAR's car.

Ryan decides to let go of his anger and remarry Greenlee. Damn! Does this mean we will be subjected to yet ANOTHER wedding between the two? Ugh.

They're going to let Griff off the hook for STEALING DRUGS because it was for charitable causes. He still STOLE them when he had other means to get the drugs and possibly caused a shortage at PVH for people who needed them right there. I call BOGUS.

LOD:
Jack to Opal re Erica: "... but what really concerns me is that I think she's running on fumes." Opal: "Well, she's has always had a lot more gas than the rest of us." :-) That cracked me up because a very long time ago I made a post alluding to something like that. The original post was not kept by Google, but I made a post in 2007 that referenced a 2003 post that referenced the original: "Many years ago I said that, just once, I'd like to see a scene where Erica walks out of the bathroom, looking beautiful and feminine as her diaphonous negligee wafts around her while she broadly waves her arms and warns her lover: "Do NOT go in there!""

Jane keeps drinking alcohol. She'll probably be committed to the Betty Ford Clinic.

Doesn't Cara have any actual PATIENTS at the free clinic?

Robin "it's FREE; you'd think people would be lining up for it" Coutellier

BC - Wed-Thu, 5/25-26/11

2011-05-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

Why does Maya not want to wear a "summer uniform"? JAR mentioned that they have them and she said she had thin bones and catches cold easily. Both his question and her answer were way out of left field, so there has to be a purpose. The thing that comes into my mind first is that maybe she has a history of cutting herself and doesn't want anyone to see scars or fresh cuts.

For being unconscious (or even asleep) while tied together, back-to-back with Marissa and sitting up on the floor, Bianca is holding her head relatively upright with remarkable ease and control.

Tad said it took 15 minutes for him to find a parking space to go into Krystal's. No one EVER has trouble finding a parking space in Pine Valley. In any case, most of the time they use the PV Transporter to simply dematerialize/materialize from one place to another. It's the only explanation to account for how they get from one place to another not only within a couple of minutes, but within SECONDS. Maybe they are all holograms.

I WILL say, however, that at one point they had some stock footage they used of downtown PV, which was quite quaint, and there WAS bumper-to-bumper traffic on their narrow, 2-lane Main Street. That was back in the late-70s/early-80s timeframe, I think. And, of course, they later went through their downtown-PV-is-really-downtown-Manhattan phase where looking down from the roof of the Chandler building (as Leslie Coulson dangled from it) showed a six-lane boulevard, jam-packed with honking cars and buses -- at night. BTW, Leslie not only survived the fall of MANY stories, she sneaked out of the Emergency Room when no one was looking, although she WAS somewhat shaky, stiff and limping.

Erica is surprised that the Valley Inn Dining Room is empty -- it's just for THEM! Why would she be surprised (yes, I know it's Jane, not Erica); no one goes there anymore to eat or drink, and anyone who needs lodgings goes to the Yacht Club.

Jane trying to pull herself together to handle Bianca at the hospital was kind of odd. She kept telling herself "She's NOT your daughter, she's NOT your daughter..." Did Jane lose a daughter, and does it have anything to do with Erica or someone close to Erica? You would think she would be chanting to herself to BELIEVE Bianca was her daughter so that she could act in at least a semi-appropriate manner.

Ricky should have done his homework. Kendall DOES have experience with guns.

Robin "she's had her hands on half the guns in town" Coutellier

BC - Mon-Tue, 5/23-24/11

2011-05-29T12:35:00.000-07:00

Tidbit: The wrapper on the money band in the video of Ricky and Diana showed that it was from Eden Falls Casino. It appears it was a casino that was abruptly put out of business, presumably due to Ricky and Diana's dealings.

Ricky is such a PIG! Push, push, push on the surprise (even to the bride) wedding!

How could they get married on the spur of the moment in PV? Have the laws changed? Back in the day, people who wanted to elope had to go over state lines to Elk Green because there was no waiting period there.

Krystal has had just a touch too much Botox recently. She's visibly having difficulty moving the muscles around her mouth as much as she would naturally do.

I can't believe how far Kendall always allows things to go.

Misheard Line as Jane tells Jack (about the wedding:

What I heard: "And instead of rice, we can throw FECES or even glitter!"

What she actually said: "And instead of rice, we can throw CZs or even glitter!"

Robin "I have no idea what CZs are" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 5/20/11

2011-05-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

They killed off a BABY? Assholes! Yeah, they've killed off babies before (Ann Tyler Martin's baby, Donna Cortlandt's baby, Gloria's baby and David's baby), but at least there was a certain amount of storyline leading up to it. This was pretty abrupt, IMO. There was SOME story leading up to it, but not much. Will Madison be dusting off her bookends? If I were Greenlee, I'd watch my back!

How DARE they not tell Madison when the baby contracted pneumonia! So now we have TWO babies that have died in a very short period of time with very little notice. WTH is THAT about??? Thank goodness no one else is pregnant on the show! Otherwise, how many babies WOULD they kill off before September?

Robin "it's going to put a big wrench into the Ryan Greenlee equation, though" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 5/19/11

2011-05-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

Today's product placement: Emma suggested that her baby sister be named Tinkerbell, who happens to be a Disney character.

The doctor made a big deal about how easy it is for a baby on a respirator to get an infection and asked if Madison and Ryan had each scrubbed for at least 10 minutes. So why aren't they wearing masks? Okay, so only the hands are going into the incubator. I still think they should be wearing masks.

Did anyone else think it was hilarious that Jane was remembering back to her plastic surgery and wearing bandages around most of her face, yet she was wearing heavy eye makeup?

Robin "she was probably wearing FMPs, too" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 5/17/11

2011-05-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

Another tell for Jane: she often uses the word "gonna". Erica often uses the phrase "going to", but NEVER "gonna".

Wow, Dixie sure does get around, doesn't she? She's dead, she's not dead, she's dead, she's not dead. I'm beginning to think that the only way to kill her off is to put a wooden stake through her heart, encase her in a silver suit of armor bedecked with a nice garlic necklace with a crucifix pendant, and plop her down smack in the middle of a desert at high noon (with the visor of the helmet open). Not that I WANT her to be dead, but DAYUM! What does it take to keep her down? It's like AMC is playing Whack-A-Mole with her.

Things that MUST happen before the last day of AMC:

Erica MUST have one HELL of a hot flash! Show OWES it to her long-time fans.

Jesse MUST come clean about the baby.

Ryan MUST die. For real. Or perhaps every woman he has ever hurt (including ghosts) lines up with baseball bats, pliers, blowtorches, etc.

Greenlee MUST be gagged.

Kendall MUST gain 20 lbs.

Erica MUST wear some Reeboks or other brand athletic shoes.

Jack MUST tell Erica what a spoiled, immature BRAT she is and always has been. Again. Sigh. He DOES tell her that every now and then and it never makes a difference. Okay, scratch that.

David MUST tie someone to the railroad tracks (preferably Greenlee) AND twirl a mustache.

Angie MUST get her sight back.

Amanda MUST tell Jake that she has never REALLY forgiven him for calling her a slut.

Robin "Kendall can have some of my extra pounds" Coutellier

AMC - Boogie Chillen, Moday - 5-16-11

2011-05-17T23:41:00.000-07:00

See signature for links to Boogie Chillens on the web.

Why does Griff always sound like he's on the verge of crying? If he really WAS about to cry, how would we know?

Obviously the teenage boy at the ... whatever it is Griff is staying in ... is NOT Enzo or Max Santos.

Erica doesn't usually call Jack "Darling". Of course, we know that that is NOT Erica. Ooh, ooh! What if ... what if that's shortened to (don't blame me for the nightmares) DACK? Who called Jack Dack? That Kit Fisher Person (aka TKFP), that's who. TKFP is Jack's little sister. Erica always disdainfully referred to her that way, so we did, too. No, I'm not suggesting that TKFP is about to commit inc**t. I'm thinking along the lines of a FRIEND of TKFP who always had a crush on Jack from afar. Of course, that crush would have to go WAY back since TKFP was presumed drowned at sea at about 6 years old, but maybe it's someone who met him after TKFP came back into his life as an adult.

Madison looks FABULOUS for someone who just crashed her car, went into premature labor and then had a cesarian section and just woke up from it.

Faux Erica (Ferica?) luxuriates in Erica's bed and marvels at how "classy" it is. I don't think her being awestruck by it was so much that it was expensive and sumptuous as it was that it was ERICA'S. As it was pointed out, if she can afford all the elaborate things she's done so far, she can certainly afford expensive furniture and linens. She wants the THE LIFE.

Robin "and Darling Jack" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 5/13/11

2011-05-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently Erica's new place is right next to the Yacht Club because there were only a few seconds between Kendall warning Griff that Ricky was coming back to his room and the time the doorknob started to turn.

Did anyone die in the explosion? Does anyone care? If one of the doppelganger's died or was injured and the other one is alive, will anyone at all think to take a DNA sample? It's not like anyone thought of that when AJ and Miranda were born, kidnapped and switched.

Now Spike's Mommy's Mommy has a doppelganger who shall not be named. If she takes Erica's place, THAT is what will trip her up with everyone else!

Robin "when she says 'Come to Grandma, Spikey!'" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 5/12/11

2011-05-16T01:07:00.000-07:00

Bianca asks Spike who he was talking to (Erica). He answers: "Your Mommy."

OFGS!!!

That is such a BLATANT avoidance of the G-Word that it's utterly RIDICULOUS! Does Spike even have a NAME, ***ANY*** name for his Grandma? Is her only appelation in his eyes Mommy's Mommy or Auntie Bianca's Mommy, or Daddy's Former Girlfriend, or Miranda's Mommy's Mommy, or Auntie Greenlee's Former Stepmother and Arch-Enemy, or Mommy's Former Boyfriend's and Husband's and Lover's Former Girlfriend, or Grandpa Jack's Girlfriend and Ex-Wife and Fiance, or Auntie Opal's Best Gal Pal, or Auntie Bianca's Dead Daddy's Former Wife, or Ian's Dead Daddy's Former MIL, or the Satin Slayer's Son's MIL, or Co-CEO of Cortlandt Electronics, or the Woman Once Known As Deseree Of The Desert, or simply That Old Lady Who Won't Tell Me Her Name And Keeps Coming Around?

Jesse is being a little paranoid. Liza is ALWAYS at Fusion for one reason or another. She did almost ALL her business there for a very long time. If anything, HE is inadvertently following HER.

I LOVE how David said Ryan and Greenlee's precious moonstones looked more like jelly beans!

Huh? Who the hell is THAT? The character is being played by Susan Lucci and the closed-captioning refers to her as "Erica's Doppelganger". Does Erica have a long-lost sister or identical cousin? I suppose it could be JaNut, but the voice had NO indication that it was JaNut in all this time, and JaNut would not be able to pull that off for so long without slipping, although she DID successfully impersonate her own sister AND she tried to make herself over to replace Brooke, despite being at least 6" taller than Brooke. It's awfully late in the game for Erica to have an evil twin after 40 years, but I guess it's now or never if that's always been her dream job.

Robin "will Opal be able to tell the difference" Coutellier

BC - Tue-Wed, 5/10-11/11

2011-05-16T00:56:00.000-07:00

Today's product placement: Cheerios (with a prize inside)

Those were interesting shoes Cara brought to rough it on a DWB stint (we saw them when Jake remembered her standing in front of him in a tent as she was wearing a matching bra and panties with her platform shoes. I'm they they came in handy when she had to slog through mud and over rocks to get to wounded people. Okay, he did mention that it was their wedding day (he was dressed in a grubby t-shirt, loose casual pants and dog tags). I have to say, though, that her bra DID seem to match the color of his t-shirt.

Asher creates an updated Cortlandt Electronics website (because the multi-national conglomerate doesn't already have one). He puts bios of Caleb and Erica on the site, too. Erica's photo, ever professional, pretty much says "LOOK AT MY BOOBS!" I know that's the only thing that truly gives me TOTAL confidence in Cortlandt Electronics; it's all *I'LL* ever need when it comes to putting my consumer electronic needs, corporate electronic needs, and investment funds into the company.

Ryan tells Madison that he doesn't want her to be stressed at ALL; that's why he plans to micromanage her doctor appointments and probably everything else in her life from here on out.

Why do addicts in Pine Valley always have decanters out at all times?

They missed a golden opportunity when Emma asked Greenlee if she was okay. Greenlee (lying) said: "Good." Emma SHOULD have said: "Really. I think you're miserable and I'm REALLY glad!" What she DID say was: "Good. Me, too." I'm pretty sure they meant she was not upset that Ryan and Greenlee's problem wasn't about her this time, but if they really wanted to, they could spin it that Emma was okay, too, because she knew Greenlee was on Ryan's shit-list.

Semi-TAN: I like how Jack mentioned jury selection and how people thought he was a fool of a lawyer (because he let Erica dump him like that). As many of you know, I'm following the Casey Anthony trial now and they are still in the process of jury selection, so it's on my mind. BTW, one idiot of a juror in that case decided that he could get out of jury duty by talking to a news crew about it (even going so far as to tell them that's WHY he was talking to them about it. He DID get out of jury duty. He was also convicted of Contempt of Court and fined $450 and repeatedly blasted by the judge on national TV, and then physically escorted to the clerk's office to take care of paperwork and make arrangements to pay it off. He'd get away with it at the Pine Valley courthouse.

Robin "but jury selection in real life is a whole 'nother story" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 5/9/11

2011-05-13T18:17:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else struck by how often spouses and sweethearts visit their loved ones at the hospital or other places of work? Have you ever seen that in real life? Yes, people occasionally will visit at their SO's place of work, particularly if it's an informal place, such as Krystal's but normally that would be frowned upon if it happened on a regular basis (even at Krystal's, if the person visiting was, for instance, the busperson's girlfriend or wife). It's unprofessional. It seems like Amanda goes to the hospital and makes out with Jake on a near-daily basis.

Tad thinks Cara has too much time on her hands because she alphabetized the spice rack. What's wrong with that? It can be difficult to find a particular spice; most of the containers look pretty much alike, after all. The better stores alphabetize them. I realize he's just antsy and thinks Cara would never think to do something like that if she weren't antsy, too, but I thought I'd throw in my opinion about alphabetizing spices :-) Since they are both antsy, perhaps they should consider that they are both HORNY and just DO something about it.

Whatever the tabloid magazine is that eBabe is holding up, it costs $4.49 in Canada. Are tabloids really THAT expensive nowadays? Sheesh, how do they stay in business? Who can afford to regularly buy them at THAT price. I remember when they used to cost about 35 cents (which is about the last time I bought one).

Not only does the Yacht Club have rooms that only have flimsy louvered closet doors on each guest room (a long-time pet peeve of mine, as many of you know), but the handles apparently don't have locks, either.

I see Griff is still wearing his Unibomber "yeah, I'll blend" disguise.

Wow, I did NOT expect it at ALL when Miranda got upset at school because a classmate called her mother a "Lezzie". Is that going to be a whole storyline to try to keep viewers through September, or was it just an opportunity for eBabe and Bianca to bond over what a good Mom Bianca is?

I think Cara should be arrested for insisting on visiting the sick child against the parents' express wishes. At the very LEAST she's probably trespassing. Then the father walks in and finds Cara lovingly caressing his little girl's face! I would go BALLISTIC if I were him! If they don't have a restraining order on her yet, they should get one pronto so she CAN be arrested the next time. It doesn't matter if the child wants her to visit! Yeah, it's a sad situation, but it's none of Cara's business, particularly when she's already suffered repercussions for prior contact with the child. Since Jake LET her do it after only giving lip-service to keeping her away from the child, both he and the hospital should be SUED!

Robin "in a much better mood today" Coutellier

BC - Thu-Fri, 5/5-6/11

2011-05-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, I don't think Colby would have had someone to strongarm Erica and inject her with drugs, so I'll amend my guess that Colby is behind the kidnapping. Unless she has a split personality (aka dissociative identity disorder), of course. OTOH, the speaking style DOES sound like Colby. And then there's the nailpolish on the fingers transcribing everything Erica was saying. You know how Colby likes to use her laptop. The hands looked a little older than those that would belong to Colby, but they could use anyone's hands for that part. Almost everything the person says sounds like Colby. Except for that Canadian "I'm sore-ry".

Why does the mayor need to use LIZA to get rid of Jesse? She's been gunning for Jesse since before Liza became DA.

Considering he was shivved and had to have his spleen removed, that was a pretty low blow (literally) Kendall gave to Griff! Ungrateful BITCH!

Did ABC have to pay Johnson & Johnson for permission to use the brand name "Band-Aid" (which is clearly showed in CC) instead of a generic adhesive bandage? Or did J&J have to pay ABC for the promotion?

Jack sits on the bed and fondles one of Erica's discarded scarves. He tells Bianca he thought they had overcome all our issues. Given the way he was fondling the scarf, am I the only one who imagined he was remembering how one or the other of them tied the other one up with the scarf as part of their sex play? Just me? Never mind ...

Considering how often Emma calls a cab, is it really a wise idea for her to be sleeping over at a friend's? I wouldn't be surprised if she booked a flight to France -- and was able to travel there without anyone questioning her. Not that Ryan or Greenlee are even remotely capable of keeping an eye on the little princess.

For people with no money, Madison and Scott sure do eat a lot of takeout.

Rebecca Buddig is still barely making any facial expressions. She has no spark anymore. None.

Robin "the cancellation news should be showing in performances any day now (but RB had no more spark BEFORE that)" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 5/4/11

2011-05-04T21:38:00.000-07:00

LOD 1:
Erica rails at her kidnapper, saying Jack NEEDS to know she still wants to marry him. The kidnapper sarcastically says "He'll wait." Erica thinks she buys another clue and says: "Is that what this is about? You're JEALOUS? ... Brooke?"

LOD 2:

Erica decides it's probably not Brooke and wonders if it's Annie. Then she muses that it's not Annie's style. Annie would just stab her again.

I thought it was funny that Opal told Krystal to keep her hands and her cleavage to herself while working for Jack. Today is one of the rare occasions when Krystal is NOT flaunting her cleavage.

Ryan goes to the hospital for yet another ultrasound on the baby. He inadvertently finds out that Greenlee knew about the baby way back on Christmas Eve, and she even helped Madison hide it from him. The ultrasound appt, in the meantime, was postponed, so Madison is still hanging around in a hospital gown when Scott comes in to ask her how it went. She said Ryan left to confront Greenlee. That tells you where Ryan's priorities are. He's more intent on blasting Greenlee for not telling him about the baby than he is on actually SEEING the baby.

Erica pretends to faint to try to get the kidnapper to either come in or get help or whatever. The kidnapper tries to get a verbal response from her, but she just lies there. Then the camera shows Erica open her eyes wide with an aren't-I-clever look. Well, my goodness, Erica, if you were THAT clever, you'd remember that the kidnapper has cameras on you and it's more than a little possible he/she could SEE you open your eyes with your aren't-I-clever look.

Ryan confronts Greenlee about not telling him that Madison was pregnant with his baby. She tells him, among other things, about how she wanted a perfect life of wedded bliss with him, just for a little while. Ryan says, with disbelief: "You have THAT little faith in me?" Hmmm, Ryan shacked up with her best friend almost immediately after she "died" and not long after that, he started screwing her best friend's mother, who also happened to be Greenlee's arch-enemy. She, OTOH, married EVERYONE'S arch-enemy to stick it to Ryan and her father and everyone else for seemingly forgetting her existence the second she flew off the motorcycle on one of their many other wedding days. Neither one of them has faith in each other, and with good reason.

Robin "They BOTH are hurting now. Good." Coutellier

BC - Tue, 5/3/11

2011-05-04T03:41:00.000-07:00

When Ricky was telling himself that "Tonight is the night; everything changes," they started playing background piano music. At first, I thought it was the beginning of the Cowsills' song "(I Love) The Flower Girl" (aka "The Rain, The Park & Other Things") That got me to thinking they were about to do a daydream sequence (they did that in "Dumb & Dumber", which is probably why I thought of it), showing them walking hand-in-hand, strolling through (what else), the park, picking flowers, sharing adoring glances, riding horseback, sharing a string of spaghetti and meeting lips in the middle, giving each other gifts and laughing because they each gave the other the same thing, etc. Oh, and there would be a wind machine. On the one hand, I'm glad they didn't do that because I might have, you know, PUKED. OTOH, it would have been pretty funny (even though they probably would have been sued by some entity associated with "Dumb & Dumber"). I mean, if they're going to chuck the show, ANYway, they might as well have fun with it. As it was, the piano music morphed into something vaguely suspenseful/ominous (and I do mean VAGUEly).

Ricky is apparently living at the Yacht Club. Don't his parishioners wonder where he gets the money for that? The way people move in there for long periods of time makes me wonder if they compete with Motel 6 or The Pine Cone Motel rates.

I felt kind of bad for VI having to suck in his belly as he put his shirt on. I'm surprised he didn't sound like he was passing a joint after taking a toke and continuing to talk. BREATHE, Baby, we LIKE a little something to hold onto!

Did it occur to anyone, anyone at all, that maybe someone should take Emma and her little uniform *BACK TO SCHOOL*?

Kendall calls Bianca "Binx" (a name I first saw suggested by a RATS poster way back when Bianca was a baby, BTW). Ryan calls Emma "Ems". Adam Chandler II is "JR" (aka JAR, but I'm apparently the only one who calls him that (but only because that's how Babe always pronounced his name)), and Adam Chandler III is now called "AJ" (after an entire baby name book's list of other names). Angela Hubbard is "Angie". Franklin is Frankie. Has anyone ever called Kendall "Dolly", "Kenny" or "Dull"? [even I will admit that she is rarely the latter]

Whoa, did you see Maya giving Jesse the appreciative up-and-down onceover as he walked away from her? Makes me wonder if the baby's father is old enough to be HER father. I'm hoping it was MEANT to convey "Gosh, what a nice guy" and not "I'd jump him like a kangaroo on a trampoline!"

Ok, how many of you think the kid Griff found snooping is Max Santos (or possibly Enzo)? It's kind of pointless to introduce semi-new characters at this point, but in this case it could be an opening to bring back Hayley and Maturdo one more time before the show ends.

Robin "so Mateo can, once again, remind us how much he takes after his father, Hector" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 5/2/11

2011-05-04T03:24:00.000-07:00

I TOTALLY want to see Opal wear one of them there forehead-bound "fascinator" hats like those seen in the royal wedding last week. She's an absolute natural for any one of them! In fact, I'm kind of amazed we HAVEN'T seen her wear one so far (actually, we have, just not ones as ostentatious as those at the royal wedding). Now that it's dubiously fashionable, though, we are probably more likely to see Erica (or possibly Greenlee, although she's been dressed down lately) wearing one.

Royal wedding hats (my particular fascination is with the blue hat in picture #11):

Since they are throwing in the towel anyway, I want to see Erica not only be called a Grandma (to her FACE), but I want her to do a "Ladypants" commercial Those of you who watch "Hot In Cleveland" may remember that Victoria Chase (Wendie Malick), the fired soap diva (who considers Susan Lucci to be her arch enemy) desperately needed a job and finally gave in to an offer to do a commercial in Japan for incontinence slacks. The YouTube of the resulting faux-commercial doesn't NEARLY convey the jokes from the show that resulted partly from the Japanese/English translation of instructions and descriptions!

Did you notice the sign on the wall when Scott and Madison were discussing possible delivery room attendees? It simply stated: CORRIDOR. Um, isn't that kind of obvious? It's not like it was "Corridor A", "Follow The Yellow Stripe" or the "Cindy Chandler Memorial Corridor" or anything like that. It's like having a sign that says "hallway" or "road" just in case someone is confused and thinks they are in a living room or perhaps a backyard.

I almost barfed when Ricky told Opal that maybe it's the way that Kendall looks at him ("you") as if he's ("you're") the most important person in the world. Huh? The most important person in Kendall's world is Kendall. I don't know if he's just schmoozing Opal, though, or if he believes that.

Oh, so there IS a cabbie in Pine Valley with enough common sense to realize that an 8-yr-old is too young to call and use a cab without any adult supervision whatsoever, no matter how much cash she flashes? OTOH, Emma CALLED for a cab. Unless there was an automated menu or she used a computer or smartphone to schedule the pickup, that means a dispatcher didn't think twice about sending a cabbie (with God knows WHAT kind of criminal background) to pick up someone who was quite obviously a child.

Stuart OWNED the gatehouse. Wouldn't Scott own it now (although it could have been taken as part of his restitution for the Chandler fiasco)?

JAR tells AJ that the Chandler mansion will always be safe (after a tree falls on the gatehouse). Did he just chime the death knell for the Chandler mansion? Are they going to blow it up (or away) by September, like Krystal blew up JAR's Duesenburg?

AJ and eBabe are going to fly a kite. Is someone about to be electrocuted? [Okay, I'll admit to be slightly more willing than usual to accept and even suggest/embrace grisly scenarios on AMC from here on out, but HEY! *I'M* not the one who crashed a tree onto the beloved gatehouse.]

eBabe finally agrees to move in with JAR, but ONLY until she finds her own place to move into. Is there a housing shortage in Pine Valley? Why doesn't she just go find a place to move into? Everyone else moves into the Yacht Club when they need a place to live, so why doesn't she just move in there again? Lame, lame, lame.

LOD:
Greenlee tells Emma that the two of them are both kind of alike. Emma: "Yeah, you told me we were both BRATS." She's going to be dressing Goth, piercing body parts, getting tattoos, and chain-smoking any day now :-)

Robin "GO EMMA!" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 4/29/11

2011-05-02T01:04:00.000-07:00

Kendall discusses with Bianca how they are deceiving Ricky in order to trap him. Then she says she sees him and has to go. She takes TEN steps (I counted) to get to where he's already seated on a blanket. Later she has the NEVER to criticize Griffin for getting too close -- he was farther away than SHE was when she was on the phone. She has the brain of a flea!

Oh, Griff doesn't look suspicious at ALL in his sunglasses and pulled-up hoodie on a warm spring day. That is, if you don't think someone who looks like the guy on The Unibomber wanted poster looked suspicious.

The kidnapper told Erica that Krystal couldn't hold a candle to HER. Hmm, Colby really LIKES Krystal, so I'm not so sure she would say that. OTOH, it's not like the writers have stayed true to the natures of various characters, anyway, so I'll stick with Colby still as my kidnapper-guessing de jour, although with slightly less conviction than I did in the last Boogie Chillen.

They DID mention Mike Roy, while pointedly NOT showing his photo. OTOH, they mentioned all of Erica's husbands as she turned through the album made by the kidnapper. I think THIS episode was written with the knowledge that the show had been cancelled, which makes me think at least ONE of the writers knew it had been cancelled before it had been announced since Erica had already been kidnapped right around the time they announced it.

I like how they've consistently shown Erica's favorite food to be risotto. It's a small thing, but it's a nice touch. Too bad they can't remember the BIG things. For instance, Erica has been known to get claustrophobic. Remember her meltdown while she was in solitary confinement?

Why did they announce that AMC and OLTL will be cancelled when they weren't going to take them off the air for several months? Maybe it was going to leak, especially if they were not renewing actors' contracts. It's hard to watch commercials touting AMC and OLTL knowing that the shows have been cancelled. It's like, what's the point? If anything, it tempts me to stop watching altogether (I'm not going to do that until the bitter end, but if I'm a diehard fan and that's what I'm feeling, what about people who aren't as committed to the show?). Yeah, they need advertisers and advertisers need viewers, but it's like a slap in the face every time they tell us to tune in to new and exciting episodes.

Robin "which makes me want to slap Fronz even harder" Coutellier

BC - Wed-Thu, 4/27-28/11

2011-05-02T00:08:00.000-07:00

Oh, so a change of clothes WAS provided for Erica.

If Erica thinks Krystal's food is so bad, why does she eat there so often?

Here's a thought: What if the kidnapper is COLBY? She seemed to have completely missed the new maid, Maya, for two weeks, as if she hasn't even been home. She greatly admires Erica, knows a lot about her and considers her to be a GREAT a role model. Colby certainly has been traumatized lately. It was when the voice responded to Erica's question asking if the kidnapper had had a bad day, and the way the voice said "not a good one" that made me think of Colby. Colby also lived with Krystal for a long time and worked in her restaurant, so she may cook some things the same way, hence the resemblance of Krystal's cooking of the food served to Erica. Erica was married twice to Adam. Colby would have the means to build the bunker, although I don't know how she would know what Ercia's bedroom looks like. And then there's her snarky comments about Erica bailing on her probably wedding being a GOOD and empowering thing to do. Yup, my money is on Colby at this point. Why? Because she's gone off the deep end and wants to know even more about what it takes to BE Erica Kane, plus she wants to save her from marrying Jack who is, after all, only another damn man. Colby is a little disillusioned about men at the moment. Erica will thank her in the long run.

When the kidnapper's voice said he/she would keep bringing different kinds of foods until Erica finds something she can't resist, did any of you think of "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane" and wonder if he was going to put a canary or a rat on a plate for her?

Robin "is it soup yet?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 4/25/11

2011-05-01T23:58:00.000-07:00

Is it my imagination or did they change the way the outside entrance to the Chandler mansion looks? I noticed walls with latticework opposite the door and a low hedge that I don't recall being there before. It was more open before this. Also, Bianca and the kids entered from the side (to our left). Before I'm pretty sure there was a wall (part of the mansion) there. Has the mansion become part of a condo development now?

Scott tells Emma that he talked to Marissa about the treasure hunt, and it turns out that eBabe is going to be "Plantin' booty all over the place". Really? I guess eBabe is really getting around now that she's divorced.

Kendall and Ricky are at Fusion. He said HIS first choice was a quiet night by the fire. She says: "Well, it's kind of quiet here ...". She says this as the thumpa-thumpa music plays in the background. What must go on in her head all day that thumpa-thumpa music sounds quiet? Of course, we actually DID hear what was going on in her head this time. She called Ricky a murderer and made other remarks inside her head about him being a fake and doing whatever he had to do to cozy up to people.

Uh, what just happened at the Chandler mansion while Kendall and Ricky were quietly talking over thumpa-thumpa music? One minute AJ was telling Emma that her mommy hurt people, nobody likes her and no one wants her around. The next time we see the children, they are all cheering and laughing about the upcoming treasure hunt. I was expecting Emma to, at the very least, have an outburst, and, at the most, pull out a knife or strangle him -- you know, like Mother, like Daughter.

Wait a second. It gets right down to the wire, the children are sent out to hunt treasure booty, and eBabe asks the new maid to go watch them? Isn't that supposed to be a videocam moment for parents? I know the Easter Egg hunt we had in our backyard on Easter was, and several parents and others were watching. You had to watch FAST, though, because the little ones were like shrieking little vacuum cleaners ferreting out the plastic, candy-filled eggs in the yard and swooping them up with glee (5 kids from 2-7 years old, including a pair of 3-yr-old twins).

Robin "it's something our grandparents would have done for us and it brings back loving memories" Coutellier

1957 - (that's me in the forefront)

BC - Fri, 4/22/11

2011-04-25T23:30:00.000-07:00

At Kendall's instructions, Cara drugs the guard to Griffin's room (I don't know WHY she had to do that -- it's not like he or any other guard has kept ANYONE out of Griff's room, although I suppose the made sure Griff stayed IN it. I recall, however, that there was a guard outside of JaNut's room when she sneaked out of the 4th floor window (with the aid of a butterknife), climbed down the walls, scaled UP the walls to Will Cortlandt's apt, killed him with a crowbar, climbed back down the side of his apt building, scaled back up to her room and scampered back to bed, all without the guard having a clue she had left. Oh, and she was 8.5 months (or more) pregnant with Amanda at the time and was in the hospital due to high blood pressure or something like that. Yup, PVPD DOES have a tradition to uphold of shoddy policework.

So anyway, after Cara drugs the guard, she creates a diversion (in order for her brother to escape) by pulling the fire alarm. In a HOSPITAL. How despicable is THAT??? Never mind that there are hundreds of patients in the hospital, some, no doubt, with heart conditions. There are also, no doubt, babies in the Neonatal Unit who may have to be evacuated. There are comatose people on respirators. And all the hospital personnel now has to deal with whatever they have to deal with when a fire alarm goes off.

Why are so many police officers (not to mention the Chief Of Police) on the upper floor where Griff was? Did they all respond to the fire alarm being pulled? Why didn't the PV Fire Department respond?

Kendall tells Griff to leave; go saves lives -- and don't look back. Is that supposed to be a veiled message to soap fans?

Kendall promises Griff that she won't take any unnecessary risks. Really? Has she MET herself? From the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to sleep (or is knocked unconscious or is comatose), she takes unnecessary risks. She says that even as she insists she wants Ricky to look her in the face and tell her what he did, regardless of what that will entail. How about getting him locked up (or otherwise permanently occupied) and THEN "making" him look her in the face and confessing?

Robin "thinking of the times my Mom & one-legged stepfather have been in the hospital & if a fire alarm had gone off" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 4/21/11

2011-04-25T01:53:00.000-07:00

Reverend Ricky magically appears on Kendall's yacht and asks her if there's anything he can do to help. Kendall: "Yeah, do you have one of those dickie things they sell on TV? I just realized how low-cut my dress is.

Potential kidnap suspects:
Vanessa Bennet
Brooke English
Mark Dalton
Eric Kane (no one ever really dies, after all)
The Easter Bunny
Reese Williams
Barbara Montgomery
Brian Frons

When Ryan kept asking Kendall who else might have been involved, who, who, who do you think is involved, did anyone else think of an owl?

I guess it didn't occur to Ryan yet that Ricky "married" him and Greenlee. Of course, it's entirely possible that Ricky got one of them-there internet minister licenses. I'm guessing, that he stole the identity of someone who WAS a minister.

Robin "so R&G's marriage would STILL be void -- heh, heh" Coutellier

BC - Tue-Wed, 4/19-20/11

2011-04-21T23:58:00.000-07:00

Angie is going to have to get used to ASKING who is at her door, even if she THINKS she knows who's there. Not that any woman on a soap does (only on RARE occasions), no matter how much mayhem they've been subjected to in the past.

I LOVE how Emma is treating Greenlee! WTF are Greenlee and Ryan thinking basically forcing Emma to spend a day at work with Greenlee? I'm surprised Greenlee didn't make her sit in on a projections meeting. Greenlee: "I project that we will all be out of jobs by the end of September." Emma: "Sooner for YOU, if *I* have anything to say about it."

It was pretty laughable when Ryan told Emma that she could go to the Fusion office every single day for a month and still not see everything there is to be seen. You can be there for less than 3 minutes and see everything that there is to be seen.

So Ricky DOES have a church? When does he ever have time to tend to his flock?

Was I just not paying much attention (entirely possible)? What very special thing did Ricky have set up for he and Kendall? It looked like, um, the park. Oh, there's a red blanket for them to sit on. That's IT? THAT is what he had to have extra help setting up?

I see Greenlee is still wearing her fetish heels. Yes, I know they are in style. They are STILL fetish heels. Not only that, but she's had them for a long time (since at least last September), which is very un-Greenlee-like. She strikes me as someone who gets new shoes at LEAST once a month.

Why are there fresh flowers all over Kendall's yacht? Are they set up every day just in CASE she comes by? She should think about donating the money spent on just-in-case flowers to the Miranda Center instead.

Robin "will Kendall and her retinue just sail off into the sunset, with or without flowers?" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 4/18/11

2011-04-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

Bianca tells eBabe that Miranda Center donors are pulling out with the news of Griffin stealing drugs. eBabe reminds her that SHE is the Miranda Center, not Griff. It got me to thinking that Kendall is also (ostensibly) a big part of it. Kendall is the one that squealed on Griff, which means SHE knew about it and didn't say anything and allowed him to continue doing work for and at the Miranda Center. In fact, Kendall is often being arrested or going on trial for one thing or another. Why doesn't anyone connected with the Miranda Center care about THAT?

Jesse is being an asshole about the baby. Hey, you chose to keep that baby, so DEAL with it and stop punishing the baby for it by treating it as a THING instead of a PERSON!

Angie, holding the baby, feels her way to the table where Jesse is doing some police work. She feels the back of the chair and starts to sit when Jesse helpfully pulls it closer to her. Uh, she had already oriented herself to where the chair was -- it seems to me that moving a chair that a blind person is in the process of sitting down on is a boneheaded move (literally) to make. If she were REALLY blind, I wouldn't be surprised to see her and the baby tumble to the floor!

I still can't get over how all those people are in a different COUNTRY (or territory or overseas collectivity (of France) or whatever it's called), Erica suddenly disappears without a word to ANYONE, and most of them just LEAVE!

Griff should have Kendall tossed out of his room. Guilty of the crime or not, she'd be on my shit-list if *I* were him.

Although I think she was there in the room with everyone else when Erica disappeared, I can almost see Greenlee behind the kidnapping. She hates Erica and doesn't want her to marry Jackson. Again.

Wouldn't it be FABULOUS if Vanessa Bennett Cortlandt was behind this? I don't know why she would be, but at this point I also wouldn't care. Bring Vanessa back to do some mayhem and amuse us, and then have Leo come in on the last day to take Greenlee away. (Of course, if that's already the plan with the storyline as it is playing at the moment, then they would already know that the show was going to be cancelled, since this would have been taped before the announcement.)

Doesn't Griff have a guard that should be keeping people out of his room?

Robin "Oh look, Kendall bought a clue -- it's about time SWEETHEART" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 4/15/11

2011-04-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

Greenlee tells Ryan that she has ALWAYS seen Erica for who she really is: a selfish, self-centered, evil stepmother. Me: "Like YOU?" Emma: "Like YOU!" Okay, maybe not guffaw-worthy since it was easy to imagine it coming, but it was still funny. Go EMMA! She may be a mouthy little brat, but since Greenlee was probably FAR worse as a child (and WAAAAY worse as an adult), and since the show is going to end, anyway, I say GO FOR IT!

It is very uncharacteristic of Greenlee to just stand there and take it from Emma. Sooner or later she's REALLY going to turn into the evil stepmother and, at the very least, yell at her.

Erica disappeared from St. Bart's. No one knows where she is, so why did Jack hightail it back to Pine Valley in the blink of an eye?

While Bianca was right when she said that (when she came out to Erica) Erica was only worried about how being openly gay would affect Bianca's life, but I take exception to the "only" part, because Bianca was also right when she accused Erica of only being worried about her image. Erica was VERY worried about her image and was VERY ashamed of the fact that Bianca was gay, to the point that she shunned Bianca and bestowed lavish and blatantly girly attention on one of the mean girls "Shannon?". She wanted Bianca to be a clone of herself and fought against any other option for Bianca.

So who kidnapped Erica? Is is someone from her past or a new character? If it's a new character, why bother, all things considered?

Robin "am I moving into the anger stage of mourning?" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 4/14/11

2011-04-18T00:30:00.000-07:00

Erica tells Opal that Jack loves her, challenges her, and he has NEVER let her down. Really? For once she did NOT bring up the fact that she lost custody of Bianca because of him? That's not really what happened, but it has always been something that she's kept in her arsenal when things have gone wrong with them.

Regarding Jack and Erica's beginnings, they had an affair while she was still married to Bianca's father, Travis, and Jack, with his newfound integrity, refused to lie about it in court. I say "newfound integrity" because Jack was NOT that nice of a nice person when he first came to town. He was still handsome, refined, etc., but he was also scheming. He schemed with Barbara (Travis's first wife, but they were already divorced by then) to steal some jewels, I think, or possibly report them as stolen to collect insurance. I think the money had to do with money they either stole or mismanaged from Travis's political campaign (Jack and Barbara were managing the campaign) and they had to replace it somehow. He and Barbara were also having an affair at the time but it seemed to be a f-buddy kind of thing.

What self-respecting kidnapper puts the kidnappee in a chair in a dark place with a spotlight shining down on the kidnappee?

I think it's HILARIOUS that Erica's curving bangs are oh-so-perfectly arranged on the OUTSIDE of the blindfold. The kidnapper apparently used the artful lighting to artfully arrange her hair.

Robin "who kidnapped her, Vidal Sassoon?" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 4/13/11

2011-04-13T21:53:00.000-07:00

Reese is going to grant full custody to Bianca (she cannot "grant" it, only a judge can do that, but that's a nitpick) . Well, that was a non-event storyline, wasn't it?

Is it my imagination, or was that wedding ring Bianca was holding HUGE? It looked like it was the size of a guy's ring.

Robin "hmmm, Jack or Caleb? No-brainer: Jack" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 4/12/11

2011-04-13T21:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, they kind of telegraphed a "complication" that will probably make Cara even more suspicious. Frankie says Maya is in good shape and now they just have to wait for the results of the bloodwork. Lucy is in to see her pediatrician for a well-baby check (I think). There will be some anomaly in the blood work of both of them that will cause a link to be noticed.

Speaking of Frankie and Maya, there goes any theory of HIM being the baby's father. They obviously didn't know each other prior to the appointment.

Flibbertigibbet
Strumpet
Town Lothario

Sorry, I had a sudden attack of Phoebe Wallingford Tourette's Syndrome.

Robin "I'll need to listen to some Perry Como now" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 4/11/11

2011-04-12T21:44:00.000-07:00

How does Erica keep her anniversaries straight?

Kendall certainly is an ungrateful BITCH, isn't she? She spilled the beans about Griffin at the drop of an arrest, despite the fact that he a) saved her life more than once, and b) kept her from killing David. Mind you, Griffin SHOULD be arrested for his ongoing stealing of antibiotics -- he could have found another way, but it wasn't Kendall's place to volunteer that information when he was at the police station for an entirely different matter. And given all the times Kendall has tried to set OTHER people up and how she, herself, has been the victim of setups, she should at least think twice about his side of the story. Not that Kendall has ever thought twice about anything in her entire life.

It occurred to me that some viewers might not understand the friendship between Erica and Opal. Or maybe they do because it is so well-established that it's just accepted. There's a backstory to that, though. Erica only had disdain for Opal for a very long time. Opal was crude, low-class and tacky and she had earlier made life difficult for Jenny, who was something of a protege of Erica's. Then Opal latched onto Palmer (a storyline in and of itself), Erica's friend and mentor. Erica was horrified!

I don't remember the exact storyline that precipitated it, but Erica was probably being snarky or possibly needy (the Glamorama may have factored into it) and Opal pointed out to her that Erica had no girlfriends because other women were always considered a threat in some way, plus Erica was the ONLY one who could be the STAR in a room. She told Erica that she would make an excellent friend to her because she was not competition in any way, shape or form. She was not a threat and did not want to be a star. She could only make Erica look better by comparison. She was happy to not only let Erica shine, but to help her to do so. She would also tell Erica when she was in the wrong or needed reining in, which most people were afraid to do. Erica thought about it and realized that Opal was right. Thus their friendship was born and has endured. Erica finally had a confidante other than Myrtle.

Robin "Erica rarely lets OPAL shine, but Opal tends to make up for it by adorning herself with shiny objects" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 4/7/11

2011-04-11T01:04:00.000-07:00

Wow, I'm STUNNED! Jake actually asked Cara to take MOMMY and baby into room 424 to make sure the baby is okay. A PARENT being taken in with their infant? In PINE VALLEY HOSPITAL??? Unheard of! Oops, spoke too soon; there's Cara and Jake in a room with Lucy and Jesse and Angie are elsewhere in the hospital.

That Ricky is a hands-on kind of guy, isn't he? They've said that he sabotaged Zach's plane, thus killing Zach, but showing him strangling a woman to death puts him in an even more sinister light. He looks WAY too pretty and baby-faced to have led a life that includes murdering people with his bare hands. Then again, the best serial killers are the ones no one would suspect.

David said that they (he and Liza) had 14 years of foreplay. Does he mean that's how long they've known each other? If so, that's odd because he delivered Colby at an inn when the roads were washed out. They need to make up their mind as to how long he and Liza have known each other vs how old Colby is.

Will the mayor win the next election? If she doesn't, how will David be able to hold a hammer over people's heads?

Robin "he'd probably find a way to make Liza the mayor" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 4/6/11

2011-04-11T00:58:00.000-07:00

Scott says he was a film major at NYU. BZZZZZT! He went to film school at UCLA. He returned to Pine Valley and Greenlee followed him. Unless he dropped out and then FINISHED at NYU.

Uh, I'm missing a key piece of logic here. If they kill Kendall, wouldn't the casinos pretty much HAVE to be sold since neither one of the owners would be alive? The kids would probably inherit everything. Would they then try to persuade a guardian (Bianca?) to sell it? Would the guardian even be ALLOWED to do that? And if they kill Kendall, and everything goes to the kids, wouldn't the books STILL have to be gone over with a fine-tooth comb in order to do that?

Ryan invites himself to Madison's OB appointment. WTF? I don't care if he IS the baby's father, he has no right to butt in on an OB/GYN appointment! They are not only no longer together, but he's married to Greenlee. What's he going to do, watch her get a pelvic exam? Yes, they did an ultrasound, but Madison didn't SAY they were there for an ultrasound, she merely said they were there because she had an OB/GYN appointment. For all he knew, she had a yeast infection.

Not only am I askance that Ryan insisted on going to Madison's OB/GYN appointment, but, HELLO? Emma? What if Emma gets upset and runs out of HER appointment? Emma seeing a shrink IS ostensibly why he and Greenlee are at the hospital in the first place. Besides, NO ONE sees their doctor right away unless they are the first patient of the day or after lunch, so they'd just be sitting in the waiting room and they'd probably STILL be there when Emma came out to find herself abandoned, yet again.

Robin "considering how hell-bent Ryan is to know everything he possibly can about the genitalia of every woman in Pine Valley, perhaps he should go to school and become a gynecologist" Coutellier

BC - Tue, 4/5/11

2011-04-11T00:52:00.000-07:00

A good soap twist would be that Frankie had a one-night-stand with the baby's mother, so the baby would be his sister AND his daughter. Plus it might make Randi leave him (and thus Pine Valley). Of course, the baby's mother looks so young she could be underage; as unlikely as it would be for Frankie to have a one-night-stand, it would probably be too over-the-top for it to be with such a young girl/woman.

Amanda tells Jake that they don't need Cara's help in putting together baby furniture. Really? Well Cara's not the one wearing a tight skirt and heels to put furniture together. All Amanda is doing is being eye-candy and handing over a screwdriver on occasion, while Cara is actually doing hands-on work.

How far is Amanda's jealousy of Cara going to go?

Robin "time to bring JaNut back into the picture" Coutellier

BC - Mon, 4/4/11

2011-04-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, I can hear the montage song now for when the baby has to go back to its biological mother (during May sweeps?): You Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me, Lucille ...

What kind of cabbie (other than a child molester) picks up a 7-8-yr-old girl by herself, drops her off by herself with no intervention whatsoever by any adults? And why aren't any of the adults questioning it?

Ryan makes Emma apologize to Greenlee and Greenlee says she doesn't have to and that it's partly her own fault for not keeping a better eye on Emma. Bullshit! It is NOT okay! And no, Greenlee does NOT have to worry about Emma sneaking out again because Greenlee is going to have bars put on Emma's doors and windows so Emma isn't going ANYWHERE the next time she's alone with Greenlee.

I LOVE that Emma is going off on Greenlee in that someone has to, but as a general rule, it's better to put the kibosh on that kind of behavior. I would NEVER have gotten away with that when I was a kid, traumatized or not. Given all Emma has been through with her interchangeable alternate parents, though, she's amazingly well-adjusted. Even so, if I were Greenlee, I would take a pass on Emma making me breakfast in bed for Mother's Day.

Robin "Admit it -- how many of you have the song 'Lucille' going through your head now?" Coutellier

BC - Fri, 4/1/11

2011-04-04T03:54:00.000-07:00

Who is the baby's father? Maybe they can bring Reggie back into the picture.
When Amanda says her feet have been hurting lately, Jake says it's probably because she's been out of practice with the whole high-heel thing. Really? Amanda is usually all dressed up with no place to go, so I highly doubt THAT is the reason.

Wow, I can't believe they used the word "vaginal" on a soap! OTOH, it would be pretty silly to hear two doctors referring to a va-jay-jay birth. Then, later in the same episode, Jesse referred to Tad bringing in the "biggest-ass bear" for the baby. While it was, indeed, a ridiculously large, bigass teddy bear (or as Tad says, TADDY bear), I had to wonder at the liberal use of normally taboo words they've used twice in one show. And THEN Tad tells Cara a joke with the punchline being "would you believe it started out as a bump on my ass?" New writer? Did ABC daytime send out a memo? The next thing you know, Jesse is going to be talking about baby shit.

Robin "and Krystal be serving shit-on-a-shingle (she already does, but they'll actually list it as such on their menu)" Coutellier

BC - Thu, 3/31/11

2011-04-04T03:48:00.000-07:00

Cara calls Jake and tells him that Angie had the baby and it was not delivered in the hospital. Jake tells Amanda (with whom he has been making out) about it. Amanda says: "You make calls, I'll drive!" Then they leave. Uh, where's Trevor?

This baby story is making me SICK! Jesse and Angie's baby DIED, and not only does Jesse hand over the abandoned baby to her as their own, but he has Brot bury his bio daughter ... where? A state park?

I know Jesse is overwhelmed and realizes he made a really stupid decision (and involved Brot in it), but this is SO wrong on SO many levels! You'd think he would have at least thought back to when Frankie was a baby and his father-in-law was the kingpin of a baby-stealing/selling operation. Jesse and Angie had to go through a lot just to get Frankie back after her father convinced her to give the baby up (he then SOLD Frankie). The birth mother will want her baby back eventually and Jesse won't have a leg to stand on now that there is technology to identify DNA. For that matter, for all they know, the birth mother was NOT the person who put the baby in the car. What if someone stole her baby from HER and then did that? They know NOTHING about the baby.

Jesse has to make this RIGHT!

Robin "he will, but how long will it take and will he be FORCED into it?" Coutellier

BC - Wed, 3/30/11

2011-04-01T00:23:00.000-07:00

What kind of cop leaves his police car unlocked while he goes on foot patrol?

Doesn't anyone ever say "No" to AJ? You know what happens to little boys who never hear the world "No"? They grow up to be JAR.

Was I the only one that DID hear a brief baby's cry (the baby was still not all the way out)? It was not coming from the baby in the squad car.

Oh, I do NOT like this storyline of Angie and Jesse's baby dying and Jesse and Brot swapping in the abandoned baby. That is all kinds of wrong! It's bad enough that their baby died! Of course, I haven't seen Thursday's show yet -- maybe they WON'T swap the baby, but the temptation will probably be too great and they WILL.

I can understand why Jesse might not have any kind of first-aid equipment with him since he was off-duty, but Brot should have had SOMETHING in his squad car to treat Angie and/or the baby (like an air pump, sterile gloves, moist towelettes ... SOMETHING.

Robin "PVPD: always prepared (to do the inept thing)" Coutellier